The Habit of Attention

The habit of attention has come up often, lately.

Insofar as it is useful to us to teach our children the habit of attention so that their schoolwork does not suffer, it is understandable that Charlotte Mason would have considered it one of the top three habits to instill.
With it, our children will not dawdle or waste time during lessons. They will read for instruction the first time. They will know how to obey and follow directions. They will make the necessary connections and become keen observers. They will self-educate, which is our goal, after all.

Lately, though, I have witnessed ways in which a life lacking the habit of attention is detrimental in other ways, both to the person living it and to the people who must share the planet with him.
There is a lot of talk about attention deficit disorder, for example, and many distressed parents of medicated children with ADD/ADHD diagnoses who are difficult to handle both in class and at home.

I've always been somewhat skeptical of ADD/ADHD claims because I'm from a country that doesn't really acknowledge its existence. (For more on that, see a great article here.)

I am often struck by the truthfulness of the above-linked article when I compare my experiences growing up in France and the average American experience of most children. In France, we had routine, we had order, we had plentiful time outdoors and excellent food. We took our time to do everything (to eat, to sleep, and to work.) Here everyone appears to rush around incessantly and then collapse and medicate from the stress.
Whereas French babies enjoyed long nature walks, American babies are almost immediately plopped into any number of gadgets or toys that soothe or entertain.

Most moms I know don't believe me when I tell them that my children have virtually NO battery operated toys, and that my infants have only a bed and a pack and play. I've even struggled with the idea myself.... believing that it would be much easier to have these objects to entertain my little ones, even using them from time to time. This latest baby, our fourth, however, has not at all had the luxury of experiencing these things. In fact, I set her down inside a baby bouncer  the other day at  a friend's house and realized that-- at ten months-- it was the first time she was having the experience of "plastic play."

"What do you do with them all day?" People ask me, incredulous, trying to imagine a world in which there are no baby swings, entertainment centers, floor mats, and jumpers.
And yet-- that world is out there. And it is glorious!

Below is an interesting link which demonstrates how using Charlotte Mason's ideas can help cure the ADD/ADHD epidemic (one which, in cultures that value outdoor time and face-to-face conversation, is far less concerning.)

A Cure for ADHD? from Media Talk 101 on Vimeo.


It goes without saying that the amount of screen time our children get and the quality of the books they read, as well as their environment (slow paced, peaceful lifestyle vs modern rushing from place to place) also plays a part. (See: Captivated.) Obviously, these things have an effect.

But even this-- a medicated child, a child with challenges focusing--- well, it doesn't seem like the complete end of the world, does it? I mean, there are lots of people out there who genuinely struggle with the habit of attention and who are doing just fine in other ways, right?

But there is also another element to the habit of attention and it's necessity that pops up in my house all the time.

 You see, my husband is a firefighter, and his job is to rush into danger.
While we are home, and he is at work, my children and I are praying for his safety every moment. Our hearts skip a beat when we hear sirens go by and a tweet or news alert in my inbox can send me over the edge. A phone call late at night when he is on shift, or a car near our driveway, can set our hearts aflutter.

Some of the kinds of things my husband might do on any given regular workday includes putting out fires and going in to rescue people trapped inside, going on rescue missions when people are lost or missing, and going to the scenes of accidents, emergencies, explosions, or bouts of domestic violence or terrorism. When he goes there, he will almost always find a chaotic scene waiting for him. Ash, blood, bone, guts, burning flesh, urine, feces, and vomit are the substances he works with daily. Fear, terror, anger, and unthinkable violence are emotions he encounters often at work.
It's a stressful, heartbreaking kind of job for him, but not for those reasons.
It is hard for him because there's another kind of emotion he encounters almost daily: apathy. And he can't stand it.

Apathy, and inattention, are the source of many situations our emergency personnel face daily. Inattention (either neglectful or intentional) cause personal injuries, accidents, fires, and other endangerments too numerous to mention. In fact, hardly a day goes by that our family doesn't hear, upon his return home from a shift, of a story or situation that he was sent in to help at where the source of the problem was someone's inattention.

He will tell you, and so will I, that we embrace Charlotte's emphasis on attention because (a) a child cannot obey if s/he doesn't know what to do, (b) a child cannot tell the truth if s/he doesn't know what the truth is, exactly, and (c) inattention is a great evil--- it's the opposite of diligence, and akin to ingratitude.

So what are some ways to build the habit of attention? Here are some ideas that have worked for us (and it does help, we are convinced, that we started young. My oldest, who I really hammered with this habit, is capable of pointing out the most minute details, finds bird's nests in the most astonishing places, etc.)

1. Frequently point out the results of inattention,  or better yet--  let the child discover them.
2. Do nature study often.
3. Train through games ("what did you see?" "which hand is it in?")
4. Unplug. Turn off anything with a screen and get outside (CM recommended 4-6 hours PER DAY.)
5. Allow natural consequences.
6. Go back and read Charlotte herself on this habit.

Charlotte's ideas revolved around encouraging the child to use his will to develop the habit of attention, intentionally.

Let him know what the real difficulty is, how it is the nature of his mind to be incessantly thinking, but how the thoughts, if left to themselves, will always run off from one thing to another, and that the struggle and the victory required of him is to fix his thoughts upon the task at hand

Be on the watch from the beginning against the formation of the contrary habit of inattention

It is the mother’s part to supplement the child’s quick observing faculty with the habit of attention. She must see to it that he does not flit from this to that, but looks long enough at one thing to get a real acquaintance with it.
The mother will contrive ways to invest every object in the child’s world with interest and delight.
Even the child who has gained the habit of attention to things, finds words a weariness.

UH OH. Stop there. Did you catch that? Moms, are we talking TOO much?? Are we-- gasp--- nagging?

Instead, establish a time-table (schedule)

Never let the child dawdle over copybook or sum.. when a child grows stupid over a lesson, it is time to put it away. Let him do another lesson as unlike the last as possible, and then go back with freshened wits to the unfinished task.
The child knows what he has to do and how long each lesson is to last. This idea of definite work to be finished in a given time is valuable to the child, not only as training him in habits of order, but in diligence.

Second, use her method of short, focused lessons in which perfect execution is the standard.

Lessons are short, seldom more than twenty minutes in length for children under eight; and this for two or three reasons. The sense that there is not much time for his sums or his reading, keeps the child’s wits on the alert and helps to fix his attention; he has time to learn just so much of any one subject as it is good for him to take in at once: and if the lessons be judiciously alternated- sums first, say while the brain is quite fresh; then writing, or reading-some more or less mechanical exercise, by way of a rest; and so on, the program varying a little from day to day, but the same principle throughout- a ‘thinking’ lesson first, and a ‘painstaking’ lesson to follow,- the child gets through his morning lessons without any sign of weariness.

Third , remember that the secret to habits is motivation and repetition.

Reward the child for attention-- with the natural consequence: leisure time.

A further stimulus may be necessary to secure the attention of the child... in the shape of a reward to secure his utmost efforts...they should be the natural consequences of his good conduct.
Of work done well & quickly....the enjoyment of ample leisure 

and allow natural consequences to be a punishment of their own, as well.

There is a law by which all rewards and punishments should be regulated: they should be the natural, or at any rate, the relative consequences of conduct; should imitate, as nearly as may be without injury to the child, the treatment which such and such conduct deserves and receives in after life.
She must consider with herself what fault of disposition the child’s misbehavior springs from; she must aim her punishment at that fault, and must brace herself to see her child suffer present loss for his lasting gain.

Then repeat, repeat, repeat, and repeat again, without nagging.

In my family, we set aside a time for studying virtue and good habits-- We select one a month to focus on, and then we hammer it.... telling stories that teach  it, demonstrating it in nature when we see it, and reading about saints who carefully cultivated it.

Paying attention saves lives, saves relationships, saves academics. It's so worth it.

Laying down our own rails.