On teaching Catechism

Charlotte Mason taught Catechism.

Lately I've been reading a lot from CM enthusiasts about just how to do that. Because CM families come from far and wide across all denominational lines, there are many ways people have implemented her ideas without a formal catechism, but as a lifelong member of the Church of England, Charlotte read, memorized, taught, and understood much of what she grasped from a formal Catechism in question-and-answer format as well as regular Bible reading, just like a Catholic.

And although her theology may have been lacking from a Catholic perspective, her concern was not with the lofty debates of doctrine, but with being good, and doing good.
From her profound faith and her study of philosophy she came to believe that parents should welcome children and educate them, that families formed society, that knowledge of God was the ultimate end, and that a method was needed to enable all people to understand these things clearly.

Although I have often read of atheist families teaching using the Charlotte Mason method, I have been surprised by it--- put simply, Charlotte's inner Christian life and her study of philosophy clearly formed all her ideas about education.

Obviously, we can see that she "pointed towards God" in all her subjects... science, math, literature, etc. And we've often examined how she did that. We also know that she regularly taught Bible lessons.

The tradition of Catechesis is no light matter--- in Catholic circles we know all about the importance of the task. However, in most Catholic families, even homeschooled families, Catechesis is a formal task taken on on Sunday mornings in a religious education class by a trained professional, and often happens rather incidentally at home.

So how did Charlotte, who desired to empower families to teach their own children, formally teach Catechism?

It began in the earliest stages with the telling of stories-- as naturally as possible and in all settings the child would encounter on a regular basis.

While, wondering in amazement at the order of numbers in an arithmetic class. While walking during nature study---

A mother knows how to speak of God as she would of an absent father with all the evidences of his care and love about her and his children. She knows how to make a child's heart beat high in joy and thankfulness as she thrills him with the thought, 'my Father made them all,' while his eye delights in flowery meadow, great tree, flowing river.

These little talks should be quite natural, but they prepare the mind for the seed which will be sown in formal catechesis. Nature Study is the perfect time to do this, but for me, one of the best times has been early in the morning, when we first wake up. I like to spend that time outside on the deck, with the birds, and read my Bible quietly. Sometimes my children join me, and have many questions about what they see and hear!

Naturally, Charlotte used memory work/explanations from the formal catechism. But she also used her own favorite method of presenting the children with living ideas and first-hand accounts of events in the life of Christ and the Church.

In my endeavor to imitate her method, I use both a formal catechism and living books-- chief among them biographies of the saints throughout time and excellently written stories which provide careful lessons about virtue.

Charlotte placed chief importance on the study of the Gospels-- something which many protestant traditions often miss out on in practice, emphasizing the epistles and St Paul's teachings on "righteous living" over the Life of Our Lord.

For Catholics, this is a no-brainer.... the Gospels are the core of our daily meditations.

I should like to urge the importance of what may be called a poetic presentation of the life and teaching of Our Lord. The young reader should experience in this study a curious and delightful sense of harmonious development, the rounding out of each incident, of the progressive unfolding which characterises Our Lord's teaching; and, let me say here, the custom of narration lends itself surprisingly to this sort of poetic insight

.In her PNEU schools, the children alternated between studying the Old Testament and the New. This technique is very efficient to keep reading interesting and to help make connections. As Catholics, we are fortunate to have daily readings in a lectionary-- one from the Old Testament, one from the Psalms, and one from the Gospels. On Sundays, we often have a reading from the epistles as well.

This tradition was continued when the Church of England was formed, so Charlotte also had this "food" for meditation daily. No need to re-invent the wheel, a natural or formal study of these daily readings as depends on the ages of the children puts us in touch with the life of the Church, the community of believers, and with God's Word daily. This is the work of Catechesis!

Two techniques for studying  these might be used: the first is Lectio Divina, which I have blogged about before here, and the second is narration and discussion.

Charlotte explained her ideas about teaching "the things of God" quite clearly here in Volume I:

The Times and the Manner of Religious Instruction.––The next considerations that will press upon the mother are of the times, and the manner, of this teaching in the things of God. It is better that these teachings be rare and precious, than too frequent and slighty valued; better not at all, than that the child should be surfeited with the mere sight of spiritual food, rudely served. At the same time, he must be built up in the faith, and his lessons must be regular and progressive; and here everything depends upon the tact of the mother. Spiritual teaching, like the wafted odour of flowers, should depend on which way the wind blows. Every now and then there occurs a holy moment, felt to be holy by mother and child, when the two are together––that is the moment for some deeply felt and softly spoken word about God, such as the occasion gives rise to. Few words need be said, no exhortation at all; just the flash of conviction from the soul of the mother to the soul of the child. Is 'Our Father' the thought thus laid upon the child's soul? there will be, perhaps, no more than a sympathetic meeting of eyes hereafter, between mother and child, over thousand showings forth of 'Our Father's' love; but the idea is growing, becoming part of the child's spiritual life. This is all: no routine of spiritual teaching; a dread of many words, which are apt to smother the fire of the sacred life; much self-restraint shown in the allowing of seeming opportunities to pass; and all the time, earnest purpose of heart, and a definite scheme for the building up of the child in the faith. It need not be added that, to make another use of our Lord's words, "this kind cometh forth only by prayer." It is as the mother gets wisdom liberally from above, that she will be enabled for this divine task.

A practical example of how to do that might be to consider that you yourself should study the daily readings and the week's catechism lesson ahead of time and be in prayer about ways to instill that information to your children in a natural manner, simply incorporating them in your own wonder and awe as these things become concrete in your life.

Still too vague? I know what you mean. It took me a long time to find a method that followed these principles but also followed a schedule. So here's what I came up with.

Following breakfast and morning prayer, and before chores, exercise, etc, we gather for a Catechism class that lasts about fifteen minutes.
On Mondays, each of my children studies their own level of a formal Catechism lesson (we use the Our Holy Faith series.) They read the lesson, narrate, and we discuss. It's very simple.
On Tuesdays, we all together read from a living book that elaborates on a habit/virtue we are studying and trying to implement.
Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays we read from a living book that tells the story of an event in salvation history or the life of a saint.
On Fridays, we do a simple picture study-- only we study a work of sacred art.

To further simplify our lives, these selections are usually not random but come from our history curriculum, which is thoroughly Catholic and uses living books as a foundation. That way I don't have to teach history later in the day. ;)

In addition, we have a five minute period of recitation each day where we recite together scripture memory verses and catechism questions we are learning and have learned.

Because prayer is the foundation of a relationship with God and therefore effective Catechesis, we observe a family morning prayer time and a family evening prayer time. (We use  prayer from the liturgy of the hours... the official hourly prayer of the church in which we chant the psalms.)

Because Charlotte taught hymns, understanding the profound relationship between sacred music and the learning of sacred things, we learn a hymn together and sing it during our prayer times, memorizing approximately one per month.

As a Catholic family, we also have the benefit of being able to take our children to liturgy often. We don't go every day, but we go often enough either to mass or simply for a quiet holy hour together that my children gain the benefit of regular time spent in God's concrete presence.

In the evenings, usually after dinner, we study the Bible. At this stage, I more often TELL a Bible story than read one, but from time to time I read from a big, beautiful Bible in King James English. Either way, they remain mystified and engaged... asking questions til late in the night, forming their playtimes on Bible stories that rouse their imaginations in the day.

What has amazed me about doing all this is that it knocks out many of the CM "subjects" I want to incorporate: picture study. hymn study. bible. catechism. history with living books. nature study.
This is how our family has begun the difficult and rewarding work of Catechesis, using Charlotte's ideas about the divine life of the child.

The Jesuit Educational Standard, Calvinism and Charlotte Mason... oh my!

I have recently been studying the foundations of what is called the Jesuit Education, as per the Ratio Studiorum.
Throughout history Jesuits have been famous for their educational contributions to the world. They perfected the art of the Classical Education, and like Charlotte Mason rigorously fought against the mind-numbing fact-imbibing techniques of the day.

I came to study it for two reasons. (a) My husband and I are interested in securing a 100 % Catholic education for our children, drawing from the ancients-- not because we are worried that they will stray from the faith if we don't, but because we know and understand  that the ancients were able to do one thing that is sorely lacking in our modern world: they were able to think.
(b) I am particularly interested in what ways the history of Catholic education affected the ideas of Charlotte's that we deem particularly brilliant. For example, how heavily she was influenced by this idea that children are born persons, a Catholic theological point that, if it were truly understood, would serve as a dissolving agent for the prevalent culture of death all around us.

I also find studying the history of the Classical Liberal Arts education very beneficial for putting Charlotte's ideas into context.

In this case, for example,  I was looking for information about how to DO our short periods of recitation in various subjects (math facts, latin, grammar) in the method Charlotte would have been most accustomed to. I knew that she had her students do recitations. I didn't know what they looked like.

Below is a simple breakdown of the Ignatian method.

The foundation of the Ignatian Method is based on the Spiritual Exercises and the Ratio Studiorum of St. Ignatius of Loyola and seeks:

• To focus on formation, not information
• To have the goal of leading the student to the knowledge and love of God
• To help the teacher/parent train the student's memory, understanding and will
• To train the student to speak, write and act well
• To do all things Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, for the greater glory of God

Ignatian education is education with a purpose in mind beyond simply filling heads with data. A proper education should:

• Form children into adults capable of being leaders and effective agents for Christ in the world
• Fashion in the student an intelligent obedience to all duly-constituted authority
• Develop in the student a respect for the contributions of the past
• Create competency in the arts of expression
• Instill in the student the habit of orderly thinking, trained by a thorough grounding in the basics and expanded in a literature-based curriculum

How does this work? The three tools of Ignatian education are:

• Self-activity: forms the habit of independent study and interest in scholarly pursuits
• Mastery: tackling progressively more difficult material through learning, repetition, and memorization builds confidence and motivation to keep learning
• Formation: emphasizes development of the whole person--mind, body and soul--to help the student learn to make wise choices in line with the will of God

(I got this simplified outline from Kolbe Academy - a Catholic classical homeschool curriculum provider that teaches using the Ignatian Method.)

Those of you familiar with Charlotte's Methods will no doubt see so many correlations between her ideas and the traditional Jesuit Education-- a true "Catholic classical education!"
Unlike the Puritan "classical"education, which aims to indoctrinate in order to arrive at truth, the Catholic education seeks to teach ordered thinking and the use of reason to arrive at truth.

I've been thinking about the importance of this a great deal as my family undergoes a very..... a very us kind of trial. My husband and his brother are having a disagreement, because his brother has suddenly become heavily influenced by Calvinist theology, and as such is suddenly rather anti-Catholic. This causes rifts and wounds in our relationships, which is unfortunate. I am confident in the power of Christ to overcome these demonic rifts and bouts of strife, but in the meantime I have also been fascinated as I watched the different ways with which they "make their case."
My brother-in-law's method of argument is to provide walls of scripture. He is a scripture hammer-- for each question that arises he provides ten-twelve different scriptures pulled from various parts of the Bible as "proof texts." There is no real method of interpretation, he simply gives us passages that he has been handed as "proof" of Calvinist/Reformed theology, regardless of the context, or seemingly opposing scriptures that exist elsewhere in the Bible. This is what I call the Puritan Hammer method of debate. I personally feel it's a method reminiscent of a toddler plugging his ears with his fingers and sticking out his tongue.... "Neiner, neiner! itissobecauseisaythebiblesayssoandihavetheholyspirit!" And I'm ashamed to say it's a method I've used many times in the past. :/

My husband's method, on the other hand, is to appeal to his brother's reason and ability to think. "Let's first determine who has the authority to interpret scripture," he argues, and "let's look at how these two scriptures could appear to disagree on the issue, one pointing to predestination and one pointing to free will."

In the car yesterday, on our way home from Church, my husband began to discuss the Catechism with our children. Rather than tell them: "Children, we believe this. Say it with me!" He posed them a question:
"Children," he asked. "Do you believe it's possible that God may have created someone to send them to hell?" "Nooooooooooooo!" They shouted gleefully. "Why not?" He asked them. And they began to reason together.... my kids giving answers and my husband asking questions. Only at the very end did he say: "Very good, children, that is truth. God both predestines us and knows all things AND gives us free will to freely choose Him. "

Honor your childrens' personhood by giving them the ability to think. But guide them in logical thinking, and provide them with ample examples of truth-in-action. This is the Catholic way.

There is no hard proof anywhere I've seen that says CM was influenced by these ideas, but she was no doubt very familiar with them.
Other innovative Catholic educators who were her contemporaries certainly took these ideas into consideration (Maria Montessori among them)-- with CM delivering further, clear instruction as to how to give a truly Classical Liberal Arts Education to a child who is born a person.

Certainly the goals and methods appear to have very much in common.
Both methods teach that formation of the whole person is to be prefered over the fine-tuning of just one aspect of the mind, both methods use self-teaching (vs teachers "telling") and allowing the student to grapple with the ideas themselves. Both methods emphasize mastery over covering a lot of ground. Both methods involve re-telling, and competing with oneself to enjoy the satisfaction of learning well-done. Both methods emphasize using the best possible literature (the "classics") as the foundation for all knowledge and understanding. Both methods had for their chief aim: the knowledge and love of God.

As I grow in my understanding of Charlotte's methods, it has been tremendously beneficial for me to dig into the long and sacred tradition of Catholic education, and to understand that these tried-and-true methods really formed Charlotte's ideas about education, which stemmed from her faith in God and understanding of his nature.

Catholics who are afraid of using Charlotte Mason because she "wasn't Catholic" should be studying her work. They might be surprised to find just how Catholic she actually was!

Closer still.

Our Pope has resigned, effective Feb. 28th, and we awoke with heavy hearts.

The Pope who asked us, when he took office, to pray for him, lest he flee for fear of the wolves.

His resignation letter said:
"However, in today’s world, subject to so many rapid changes and shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith, in order to govern the bark of Saint Peter and proclaim the Gospel, both strength of mind and body are necessary, strength which in the last few months, has deteriorated in me to the extent that I have had to recognize my incapacity to adequately fulfill the ministry entrusted to me."

The world is so complex now. We can hardly breathe.

Yesterday, I felt compelled to speak to my friends on facebook as lent began, and to tell them that I am certain beyond all certainty that families are being tested and will continue to experience strong trials to strengthen them for the persecution ahead.
As Lent begins, I feel certain that God is doing a work in the laity and that Satan will try to steal the blessing God has intended for families who are willing to take the challenge. We must pray, and strive for holiness, against all odds. God will meet us here in this darkness and do a beautiful work.

In fact, when we arrived at our parish for mass, already decorated in heavy purple and black, we were quite surprised to find that our priest had something in mind for the families present:  he had us renew our marriage vows!! As we stood and spoke the words, hands clasped, all our children between us, we both cried.
Indeed, our marriage was in need of that strengthening and the renewal of our covenant. We are living in challenging times.

When I regrouped with my husband last night, he shared with me that he felt concerned that something was going to happen to the Holy Father.
He was right. When we awoke this morning, the news was racing through our minds--- what will happen next?

The Prophecy of St Malachy, of course, comes to mind.
Our next pope, according to the Prophecy:

In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit... Peter the Roman, who will Nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The end.

What will happen next? No one knows, but we must pray. I, for one, am beyond thankful that when I woke up my husband with tears in my eyes to tell him the news, his response was to gather our whole family together into our bed, a bed which he made for me like Odysseus, tenderly building his own  for Penelope, and to lead us in the rosary, the prayer of prayers.
With our children gathered around us, we prayed the sorrowful mysteries, asking God to make us more like Christ. Christ who suffered the agony in the Garden. Christ who was scourged at the pillar. Christ who was crowned with thorns and mocked. Christ who carried his Cross. Christ who was crucified, but rose again in Glory. May God have mercy on us all.

For those struggling to understand, Scott Hahn's facebook page gives us some insight:

Back on April 29, 2009, Pope Benedict XVI did something rather striking, but which went largely unnoticed.

He stopped off in Aquila, Italy, and visited the tomb of an obscure medieval Pope named St. Celestine V (1215-1296). After a brief prayer, he left his pallium, the symbol of his own episcopal authority as Bishop of Rome, on top of Celestine's tomb!

Fifteen months later, on July 4, 2010, Benedict went out of his way again, this time to visit and pray in the cathedral of Sulmona, near Rome, before the relics of this same saint, Celestine V.

Few people, however, noticed at the time.

Only now, we may be gaining a better understanding of what it meant. These actions were probably more than pious acts. More likely, they were profound and symbolic gestures of a very personal nature, which conveyed a message that a Pope can hardly deliver any other way.

In the year 1294, this man (Fr. Pietro Angelerio), known by all as a devout and holy priest, was elected Pope, somewhat against his will, shortly before his 80th birthday (Ratzinger was 78 when he was elected Pope in 2005). Just five months later, after issuing a formal decree allowing popes to resign (or abdicate, like other rulers), Pope Celestine V exercised that right. And now Pope Benedict XVI has chosen to follow in the footsteps of this venerable model.

For more information about Pope Benedict XVI and what he was doing with the Church during his reign, please read this book.

Thoughts on habits and catechesis

We have really been enjoying using Neumann Press' "Our Holy Faith" series and I'm thankful for the opportunity to use it.
It dawned on me the other day, though, that unlike the Bible, a catechism series takes a little prep-work. I have to have a direction I'm going with it and not just read it aloud. There is a teacher's manual, but it wasn't helping me with what I was looking for. I wanted to get more out of those books-- to squeeze them for all the life they contained.

I have had, written in the margins of my notebooks, the words CM habits training under the "Catechesis" section of my kids curriculum from the beginning. And we do study habits. But it dawned on me the other day that we could do a better job of making them stick.

This led me to think about a defining moment in our family, some several years ago.
I was watching the Duggars when it first came out, and thinking what strong moral character all of their children seem to have. Pondering this I did some research and discovered their doctrinal connections to Bill Gothard and his Bible teachings. The Duggars study Bill's teachings on character quality and the 49 commands of Christ.
They also apply these principles as the foundation of their homeschool, using an elite Gothard-created curriculum called Advanced training institute. Now I don't know anything about Bill, and this isn't a statement for or against him, but I do think he has a knack for making principles--- biblical principles--- easy to understand. And so does Charlotte Mason.
The Catholic Church, however, has a very academic language in her documents, and therefore her teachings on practical life are not as easily accessible to ordinary people.They are also rare, because she is concerned with expressing the intricacies of theology and doctrine, but leaves practical life very open and free.

Often, lay people have turned to the saints or monastics for ideas about practical life. But practical life is really only explored in the context of discipleship-- and a celibate person cannot often offer to a married person with children the type of discipleship required for truly nurturing the systems of daily family life...So this is an area that is sorely lacking.
Now, we can turn many places for this information, and should! Wherever good, practical information about homemaking is to be found, information that is in line with Church teachings on doctrinal matters, we should be exploring it.

At the time, I studied how the Duggars taught these character qualities. They went through one each month, each day looking for opportunities to use them. They discussed them in family meetings and family devotional times. They discussed them in the context of lessons and historical characters they were meeting. They did service projects for each other relating to these.

Because we are a Charlotte Mason family, we naturally turn to Charlotte Mason herself for ideas about practical life. Her advice here is sound, and useful. And we know that she lived it herself, and was the better for it. "Habit is ten natures," she said... and she is absolutely correct!

When children are young, a complex study is not what they need. They have shortened attention spans and quickly evolving ideas. What we should be giving them are short, delightful snippets of practical information that assists them in laying foundations. Habits!

I am exploring some resources to help do this or help me do this better or more intentionally. In the meantime, I will keep plowing through Laying Down the Rails, a Charlotte Mason habits handbook, and working on character quality per month in conjunction with our catechism lessons, remembering that Charlotte taught three habits which must be paramount over all the others in our children: Obedience, Attention, and Truthfulness.

This is the work of catechesis, though, isn't it? That our lives be transformed.

Using scripture to train our children

So, on Pinterest a while back, I came across this website: The Child Training Bible. It describes a method by which to organize child training verses using color coded flags and hi-lighters for parents to use in the raising of children. It was one of those things you just sat and stared at, wide-eyed, thoughts buzzing.

At the time, I simultaneously pinned it to my parenting boards and to my random hilarity boards because, let's face it, while there is something profoundly interesting and inspiring about it, for sure, I admit I also found it kind of .... crazy and neurotic as an idea. Look at all those tabs!! How would you HOLD this bible? Doesn't it just SCREAM: "pull me out" to any passing toddler? Where would you find the time to sit down and actually make one of these?? How practical could it actually be??

I'm not at all slamming the people who came up with this idea, I actually find it -- and them-- awesome. But I think there is a little re-thinking to be done here--- while it's very good and helpful, it's also kind of.... overkill. Maybe that's just me, as this bible seems to be getting very enthusiastic reviews. I admit my life is a little more hectic in some ways than other stay at home moms for whom the Child Training Bible may be a wonderful option.

On my end, though... I like things simple, and as a busy mom, I don't have time to brush my teeth, let alone to sit down with my kids for every infraction and pick through the Bible for lecturing material, nor do I have time to nitpick issues. I'm big on the "heart" and not the externals--- and at this stage in my parenting I usually find myself constantly turning to Charlotte Mason's "big three" issues (Obedience, attention, truthfulness) and much less frequently to particular issues.  

Now, if I'm going to be praying for one of my kids in depth that day about a particular issue, I might find a list of EVERY verse that deals with it helpful, but the reality is that in ordinary life I just need a handful of "go to" verses.

I have mentioned before that our family uses Charlotte Mason's methods in our homeschool, and Charlotte had a LOT to say about child training and good habits. Her habits training ideas can be broken down into five categories (mental habits, physical habits, moral habits,  religious habits, habits of propriety and decency.) So in my case, I can more easily use a go-to bible verse for each of the habits in this category (or better yet, for a category itself) than for every, single, specific situation my kids or I might encounter during their childhood. I also like that Charlotte focuses on something positive which encourages me as a parent-- changing bad habits into good ones, whereas the Child Training Bible is basically geared to look up MISbehavior (lying, stealing, fear, etc.) I understand why it's organized that way, but my kids-- and I-- tend to be more receptive to change when it is presented in a positive light.

Every Christian parent should be excited about a project that helps them quickly find bible verses with which to train their children. We all (hopefully) USE bible verses and have various systems for doing it, like making kids copy or memorize verses for problem areas, doing character training with bible verses in daily devotions, or simply having a list of verses for different situations we encounter and looking them up and reading them together after we correct or discipline our kids. 

And believe me, I'm ALL for using tabs and color coding to get us there-- I already do that to help me pray with my Bible. So I really, really do like the idea.... But I wasn't sure I could handle a life where I'd have to carefully carry a bible that looks like this around without rapidly losing what's left of my mind:

So anyways, I thought about it and realized that there really are just a handful of verses I NEED and USE regularly in my parenting (by regularly, I mean on a day-to-day, training-and-correcting basis way... not in a full-on warfare kind of way. Obviously, there are moments where you just really need the entire Bible, or a list a mile long.) Basing my categories mostly off of Charlotte Mason's habits, I came up with THIS.

Not overwhelming, not complicated, easy to use and carry. I likey.

Each tab is a subject I find myself harping on the kids about relatively often.

Each tab contains a MAIN verse at the top, and additional verses to use as needed.

A couple of them overlap the text and this annoys me.. I'll have to find a solution.

Like I said, we're ALL about keeping it simple here. :)

But some things are TOO important to let slide. ;)

If your kids are anything like mine, they will enjoy making their own tabs for their own bibles, too. Bonus!

So that's it.... my version of the "Child Training Bible," and the benefit to me is that my husband and I deal with many of these same habits (and sins!) in our own personal lives so having these makes it really easy to quickly look up something that relates to us, to our own parenting, to our relationship to each other, etc. I've been doing this for about a week now and I am already SO glad I took the (One hour, not year! Haha) it took me to make this, and I've actually used it-- which is great. So far the best part is that my kiddos actually LIKE it and find it interesting, so they remind me to use it if perchance I forget. Having just read Ray Guerendi's book "Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime," I am super excited about how easily this all fits in with that. Dr. Ray reminded me over and over that discipline was less talk and more action, and I think that applies not just to parenting but to our work, too. I noticed that by doing this instead of having endless passages to look up and talk about with the kids, they-- and I--- get more work done. We also spend waaaaay less time yakking about HOW to do what's right and way more time just doing it, which is my husband's theme for our house. "There's no need to be so complicated. Life is simple.... Just be good, and do good," he says. Can't argue with that!

Anyways, hope it helps somebody out there!

For those interested in doing this themselves, I can offer some suggestions. However, I don't want to give you a how-to because one of the most important things about doing this project , in my eyes, is that it needs to be something YOU will use. My needs are not your needs, so you may find some of my categories, or verses, inapplicable for your own family. Instead I would encourage you to sit down and make a small, manageable list of things you would like to instill in your kids and then your OWN favorite verses for each one.

By way of a guideline, here is a list of the habits Charlotte Mason specifically mentions, as organized in the wonderful book "Laying down the Rails: a Charlotte Mason Habits Handbook."

You might find it useful to include tabs for these particular habits or simply for each category, along with appropriate bible verses. 

Habits of Decency and Propriety
Cleanliness Courtesy Kindness Manners Modesty and Purity	Neatness Order Regularity Candor Courage	Diligence Fortitude Generosity Gentleness Meekness	Patience Respect Temperance Thrift
Mental Habits
Attention Imagining Meditation Memorizing	Mental Effort Observation Perfect Execution Reading for Instruction	Remembering Thinking Accuracy Concentration	Reflection Thoroughness
Moral Habits
Integrity Priorities Finishing	Use of Time Borrowed Property Obedience	Personal Initiative Reverence Self-Control	Sweet, Even Temper Truthfulness Usefulness
Physical Habits
Alertness to Seize Opportunities Fortitude Health Managing One’s Own Body Music Outdoor Life		Quick Perception of Senses Self-Control in Emergencies Self-Discipline in Habits Self-Restraint in Indulgences Training the Ear and Voice
Religious Habits
Regularity in Devotions Prayer	Reading the Bible Praise	Reverent Attitude Sunday-Keeping	Thanksgiving Thought of God

Charlotte Mason's motto for students was "I am, I can, I ought, I will." Another way to do this is simply to make a list of fifteen or so things you often come across and a good verse for each one. For example: Obedience Attention Truthfulness Modesty Purity Faith Proper Speech Kindness Charity Cleanliness Good study habits Proper Choice in Friends Self-control etc. As I said, every family (and child!) is different so I don't want to give you a cookie-cutter "how-to" here, but rather to help you brainstorm ideas that will work. I hope you enjoy doing this project as much as I did! I'm praying for you and your children. :)

Theology Thursdays- The Purpose of Marriage

Our Convalidation 

The Purpose of Marriage according to the Catholic Church, with selections from the catechism and the early Fathers.

In a time when marriage seems to be so misunderstood, and failing, I thought many of you would be interested to meditate on the oldest recorded (and still living and active! :D) purpose of marriage. As a married person, I have been constantly blessed and encouraged that all of this has shown itself to be true when I became willing to give myself entirely to my husband and order my life according to the purpose of marriage and not against it. I believe people should have the chance to read and meditate on these ideas AS THEY DISCERN whether married life is for them. My hope is that each of you, even those of you who are not Catholic, will walk away with a sense of the sacredness of the marital experience. 

FROM THE CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, ENGLISH EDITION

(with scriptural references and references to the early fathers.)



THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY

1601 "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."84

I. MARRIAGE IN GOD'S PLAN

1602 Sacred Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of "the wedding-feast of the Lamb."85 Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its "mystery," its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal "in the Lord" in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church.86

Marriage in the order of creation

1603 "The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws. . . . God himself is the author of marriage."87 The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. These differences should not cause us to forget its common and permanent characteristics. Although the dignity of this institution is not transparent everywhere with the same clarity,88 some sense of the greatness of the matrimonial union exists in all cultures. "The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life."89

1604 God who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love.90 Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator's eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: "And God blessed them, and God said to them: 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'"91

1605 Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: "It is not good that the man should be alone."92 The woman, "flesh of his flesh," his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a "helpmate"; she thus represents God from whom comes our help.93 "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh."94 The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been "in the beginning": "So they are no longer two, but one flesh."95

Marriage under the regime of sin

1606 Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character.

1607 According to faith the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations;96 their mutual attraction, the Creator's own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust;97 and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work.98

1608 Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them.99 Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them "in the beginning."

Marriage under the pedagogy of the Law

1609 In his mercy God has not forsaken sinful man. The punishments consequent upon sin, "pain in childbearing" and toil "in the sweat of your brow,"100 also embody remedies that limit the damaging effects of sin. After the fall, marriage helps to overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one's own pleasure, and to open oneself to the other, to mutual aid and to self-giving.

1610 Moral conscience concerning the unity and indissolubility of marriage developed under the pedagogy of the old law. In the Old Testament the polygamy of patriarchs and kings is not yet explicitly rejected. Nevertheless, the law given to Moses aims at protecting the wife from arbitrary domination by the husband, even though according to the Lord's words it still carries traces of man's "hardness of heart" which was the reason Moses permitted men to divorce their wives.101

1611 Seeing God's covenant with Israel in the image of exclusive and faithful married love, the prophets prepared the Chosen People's conscience for a deepened understanding of the unity and indissolubility of marriage.102 The books of Ruth and Tobit bear moving witness to an elevated sense of marriage and to the fidelity and tenderness of spouses. Tradition has always seen in the Song of Solomon a unique expression of human love, insofar as it is a reflection of God's love - a love "strong as death" that "many waters cannot quench."103

Marriage in the Lord

1612 The nuptial covenant between God and his people Israel had prepared the way for the new and everlasting covenant in which the Son of God, by becoming incarnate and giving his life, has united to himself in a certain way all mankind saved by him, thus preparing for "the wedding-feast of the Lamb."104

1613 On the threshold of his public life Jesus performs his first sign - at his mother's request - during a wedding feast.105 The Church attaches great importance to Jesus' presence at the wedding at Cana. She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that thenceforth marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence.

1614 In his preaching Jesus unequivocally taught the original meaning of the union of man and woman as the Creator willed it from the beginning: permission given by Moses to divorce one's wife was a concession to the hardness of hearts.106 The matrimonial union of man and woman is indissoluble: God himself has determined it "what therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."107

1615 This unequivocal insistence on the indissolubility of the marriage bond may have left some perplexed and could seem to be a demand impossible to realize. However, Jesus has not placed on spouses a burden impossible to bear, or too heavy - heavier than the Law of Moses.108 By coming to restore the original order of creation disturbed by sin, he himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the Reign of God. It is by following Christ, renouncing themselves, and taking up their crosses that spouses will be able to "receive" the original meaning of marriage and live it with the help of Christ.109 This grace of Christian marriage is a fruit of Christ's cross, the source of all Christian life.

1616 This is what the Apostle Paul makes clear when he says: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her," adding at once: "'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one. This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church."110

1617 The entire Christian life bears the mark of the spousal love of Christ and the Church. Already Baptism, the entry into the People of God, is a nuptial mystery; it is so to speak the nuptial bath.111 which precedes the wedding feast, the Eucharist. Christian marriage in its turn becomes an efficacious sign, the sacrament of the covenant of Christ and the Church. Since it signifies and communicates grace, marriage between baptized persons is a true sacrament of the New Covenant.112

Virginity for the sake of the Kingdom

1618 Christ is the center of all Christian life. The bond with him takes precedence over all other bonds, familial or social.113 From the very beginning of the Church there have been men and women who have renounced the great good of marriage to follow the Lamb wherever he goes, to be intent on the things of the Lord, to seek to please him, and to go out to meet the Bridegroom who is coming.114 Christ himself has invited certain persons to follow him in this way of life, of which he remains the model:



"For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."115

1619 Virginity for the sake of the kingdom of heaven is an unfolding of baptismal grace, a powerful sign of the supremacy of the bond with Christ and of the ardent expectation of his return, a sign which also recalls that marriage is a reality of this present age which is passing away.116

1620 Both the sacrament of Matrimony and virginity for the Kingdom of God come from the Lord himself. It is he who gives them meaning and grants them the grace which is indispensable for living them out in conformity with his will.117 Esteem of virginity for the sake of the kingdom118 and the Christian understanding of marriage are inseparable, and they reinforce each other:



Whoever denigrates marriage also diminishes the glory of virginity. Whoever praises it makes virginity more admirable and resplendent. What appears good only in comparison with evil would not be truly good. The most excellent good is something even better than what is admitted to be good.119

II. THE CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE

1621 In the Latin Rite the celebration of marriage between two Catholic faithful normally takes place during Holy Mass, because of the connection of all the sacraments with the Paschal mystery of Christ.120 In the Eucharist the memorial of the New Covenant is realized, the New Covenant in which Christ has united himself for ever to the Church, his beloved bride for whom he gave himself up.121 It is therefore fitting that the spouses should seal their consent to give themselves to each other through the offering of their own lives by uniting it to the offering of Christ for his Church made present in the Eucharistic sacrifice, and by receiving the Eucharist so that, communicating in the same Body and the same Blood of Christ, they may form but "one body" in Christ.122

1622 "Inasmuch as it is a sacramental action of sanctification, the liturgical celebration of marriage . . . must be, per se, valid, worthy, and fruitful."123 It is therefore appropriate for the bride and groom to prepare themselves for the celebration of their marriage by receiving the sacrament of penance.

1623 According to Latin tradition, the spouses as ministers of Christ's grace mutually confer upon each other the sacrament of Matrimony by expressing their consent before the Church. In the tradition of the Eastern Churches, the priests (bishops or presbyters) are witnesses to the mutual consent given by the spouses,124 but for the validity of the sacrament their blessing is also necessary.125

1624 The various liturgies abound in prayers of blessing and epiclesis asking God's grace and blessing on the new couple, especially the bride. In the epiclesis of this sacrament the spouses receive the Holy Spirit as the communion of love of Christ and the Church.126 The Holy Spirit is the seal of their covenant, the ever available source of their love and the strength to renew their fidelity.

III. MATRIMONIAL CONSENT

1625 The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent; "to be free" means:

- not being under constraint;

- not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law.

1626 The Church holds the exchange of consent between the spouses to be the indispensable element that "makes the marriage."127 If consent is lacking there is no marriage.

1627 The consent consists in a "human act by which the partners mutually give themselves to each other": "I take you to be my wife" - "I take you to be my husband."128 This consent that binds the spouses to each other finds its fulfillment in the two "becoming one flesh."129

1628 The consent must be an act of the will of each of the contracting parties, free of coercion or grave external fear.130 No human power can substitute for this consent.131 If this freedom is lacking the marriage is invalid.

1629 For this reason (or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void) the Church, after an examination of the situation by the competent ecclesiastical tribunal, can declare the nullity of a marriage, i.e., that the marriage never existed.132 In this case the contracting parties are free to marry, provided the natural obligations of a previous union are discharged.133

1630 The priest (or deacon) who assists at the celebration of a marriage receives the consent of the spouses in the name of the Church and gives the blessing of the Church. The presence of the Church's minister (and also of the witnesses) visibly expresses the fact that marriage is an ecclesial reality.

1631 This is the reason why the Church normally requires that the faithful contract marriage according to the ecclesiastical form. Several reasons converge to explain this requirement:134

- Sacramental marriage is a liturgical act. It is therefore appropriate that it should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church;

- Marriage introduces one into an ecclesial order, and creates rights and duties in the Church between the spouses and towards their children;

- Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary (hence the obligation to have witnesses);

- The public character of the consent protects the "I do" once given and helps the spouses remain faithful to it.

1632 So that the "I do" of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.

The example and teaching given by parents and families remain the special form of this preparation.

The role of pastors and of the Christian community as the "family of God" is indispensable for the transmission of the human and Christian values of marriage and family,135 and much more so in our era when many young people experience broken homes which no longer sufficiently assure this initiation:



It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own.136

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.137 In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.139

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."140 It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.141 Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

IV. THE EFFECTS OF THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY

1638 "From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament."142

The marriage bond

1639 The consent by which the spouses mutually give and receive one another is sealed by God himself.143 From their covenant arises "an institution, confirmed by the divine law, . . . even in the eyes of society."144 The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God's covenant with man: "Authentic married love is caught up into divine love."145

1640 Thus the marriage bond has been established by God himself in such a way that a marriage concluded and consummated between baptized persons can never be dissolved. This bond, which results from the free human act of the spouses and their consummation of the marriage, is a reality, henceforth irrevocable, and gives rise to a covenant guaranteed by God's fidelity. The Church does not have the power to contravene this disposition of divine wisdom.146

The grace of the sacrament of Matrimony

1641 "By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God."147 This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple's love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they "help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children."148

1642 Christ is the source of this grace. "Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony."149 Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another's burdens, to "be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,"150 and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb:



How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father? . . . How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.151

V. THE GOODS AND REQUIREMENTS OF CONJUGAL LOVE

1643 "Conjugal love involves a totality, in which all the elements of the person enter - appeal of the body and instinct, power of feeling and affectivity, aspiration of the spirit and of will. It aims at a deeply personal unity, a unity that, beyond union in one flesh, leads to forming one heart and soul; it demands indissolubility and faithfulness in definitive mutual giving; and it is open to fertility. In a word it is a question of the normal characteristics of all natural conjugal love, but with a new significance which not only purifies and strengthens them, but raises them to the extent of making them the expression of specifically Christian values."152

The unity and indissolubility of marriage

1644 The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses' community of persons, which embraces their entire life: "so they are no longer two, but one flesh."153 They "are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving."154 This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.

1645 "The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection."155 Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive.156

* The fidelity of conjugal love

1646 By its very nature conjugal love requires the inviolable fidelity of the spouses. This is the consequence of the gift of themselves which they make to each other. Love seeks to be definitive; it cannot be an arrangement "until further notice." The "intimate union of marriage, as a mutual giving of two persons, and the good of the children, demand total fidelity from the spouses and require an unbreakable union between them."157

1647 The deepest reason is found in the fidelity of God to his covenant, in that of Christ to his Church. Through the sacrament of Matrimony the spouses are enabled to represent this fidelity and witness to it. Through the sacrament, the indissolubility of marriage receives a new and deeper meaning.

1648 It can seem difficult, even impossible, to bind oneself for life to another human being. This makes it all the more important to proclaim the Good News that God loves us with a definitive and irrevocable love, that married couples share in this love, that it supports and sustains them, and that by their own faithfulness they can be witnesses to God's faithful love. Spouses who with God's grace give this witness, often in very difficult conditions, deserve the gratitude and support of the ecclesial community.158

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.159

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"160 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:



They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God's grace.161

* The openness to fertility

1652 "By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory."162



Children are the supreme gift of marriage and contribute greatly to the good of the parents themselves. God himself said: "It is not good that man should be alone," and "from the beginning [he] made them male and female"; wishing to associate them in a special way in his own creative work, God blessed man and woman with the words: "Be fruitful and multiply." Hence, true married love and the whole structure of family life which results from it, without diminishment of the other ends of marriage, are directed to disposing the spouses to cooperate valiantly with the love of the Creator and Savior, who through them will increase and enrich his family from day to day.163

1653 The fruitfulness of conjugal love extends to the fruits of the moral, spiritual, and supernatural life that parents hand on to their children by education. Parents are the principal and first educators of their children.164 In this sense the fundamental task of marriage and family is to be at the service of life.165

1654 Spouses to whom God has not granted children can nevertheless have a conjugal life full of meaning, in both human and Christian terms. Their marriage can radiate a fruitfulness of charity, of hospitality, and of sacrifice.

VI. THE DOMESTIC CHURCH

1655 Christ chose to be born and grow up in the bosom of the holy family of Joseph and Mary. The Church is nothing other than "the family of God." From the beginning, the core of the Church was often constituted by those who had become believers "together with all [their] household."166 When they were converted, they desired that "their whole household" should also be saved.167 These families who became believers were islands of Christian life in an unbelieving world.

1656 In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the Ecclesia domestica.168 It is in the bosom of the family that parents are "by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation."169

1657 It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way "by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity."170 Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and "a school for human enrichment."171 Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one's life.

1658 We must also remember the great number of single persons who, because of the particular circumstances in which they have to live - often not of their choosing - are especially close to Jesus' heart and therefore deserve the special affection and active solicitude of the Church, especially of pastors. Many remain without a human family often due to conditions of poverty. Some live their situation in the spirit of the Beatitudes, serving God and neighbor in exemplary fashion. The doors of homes, the "domestic churches," and of the great family which is the Church must be open to all of them. "No one is without a family in this world: the Church is a home and family for everyone, especially those who 'labor and are heavy laden.'"172

IN BRIEF

1659 St. Paul said: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church. . . . This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church" (Eph 5:25, 32).

1660 The marriage covenant, by which a man and a woman form with each other an intimate communion of life and love, has been founded and endowed with its own special laws by the Creator. By its very nature it is ordered to the good of the couple, as well as to the generation and education of children. Christ the Lord raised marriage between the baptized to the dignity of a sacrament (cf. CIC, can. 1055 § 1; cf. GS 48 § 1).

1661 The sacrament of Matrimony signifies the union of Christ and the Church. It gives spouses the grace to love each other with the love with which Christ has loved his Church; the grace of the sacrament thus perfects the human love of the spouses, strengthens their indissoluble unity, and sanctifies them on the way to eternal life (cf. Council of Trent: DS 1799).

1662 Marriage is based on the consent of the contracting parties, that is, on their will to give themselves, each to the other, mutually and definitively, in order to live a covenant of faithful and fruitful love.

1663 Since marriage establishes the couple in a public state of life in the Church, it is fitting that its celebration be public, in the framework of a liturgical celebration, before the priest (or a witness authorized by the Church), the witnesses, and the assembly of the faithful.

1664 Unity, indissolubility, and openness to fertility are essential to marriage. Polygamy is incompatible with the unity of marriage; divorce separates what God has joined together; the refusal of fertility turns married life away from its "supreme gift," the child (GS 50 § 1).

1665 The remarriage of persons divorced from a living, lawful spouse contravenes the plan and law of God as taught by Christ. They are not separated from the Church, but they cannot receive Eucharistic communion. They will lead Christian lives especially by educating their children in the faith.

1666 The Christian home is the place where children receive the first proclamation of the faith. For this reason the family home is rightly called "the domestic church," a community of grace and prayer, a school of human virtues and of Christian charity.





84 CIC, can. 1055 § 1; cf. GS 48 § 1.

85 Rev 19:7, 9; cf. Gen 1:26-27.

86 1 Cor 7:39; cf. Eph 5:31-32.

87 GS 48 § 1.

88 Cf. GS 47 § 2.

89 GS 47 § 1.

90 Cf. Gen 1:27; 1 Jn 4:8, 16.

91 Gen 1:28; cf. 1:31.

92 Gen 2:18.

93 Cf. Gen 2:18-25.

94 Gen 2:24.

95 Mt 19:6.

96 Cf. Gen 3:12.

97 Cf. Gen 2:22; 3:16b.

98 Cf. Gen 1:28; 3:16-19.

99 Cf. Gen 3:21.

100 Gen 3:16, 19.

101 Cf. Mt 19:8; Deut 24:1.

102 Cf. Hos 1-3; Isa 54; 62; Jer 2-3; 31; Ezek 16; 23; Mal 2:13-17.

103 Song 8:6-7.

104 Rev 19:7,9; cf. GS 22.

105 Cf. Jn 2:1-11.

106 Cf. Mt 19:8.

107 Mt 19:6.

108 Cf. Mk 8:34; Mt 11:29-30.

109 Cf. Mt 19:11.

110 Eph 5:25-26,31-32; Cf. Gen 2:24.

111 Cf. Eph 5:26-27.

112 Cf. DS 1800; CIC, Can. 1055 § 2.

113 Cf. Lk 14:26; Mk 10:28-31.

114 Cf. Rev 14:4; 1 Cor 7:32; Mt 2:56.

115 Mt 19:12.

116 Cf. Mk 12:25; 1 Cor 7:31.

117 Cf. Mt 19:3-12.

118 Cf. LG 42; PC 12; OT 10.

119 St. John Chrysostom, De virg. 10,1:PG 48,540; Cf. John Paul II, FC 16.

120 Cf. SC 61.

121 Cf. LG 6.

122 Cf. 1 Cor 10:17.

123 FC 67.

124 Cf. CCEO, can. 817.

125 Cf. CCEO, can. 828.

126 Cf. Eph 5:32.

127 CIC, can. 1057 § 1.

128 GS 48 § 1; OCM 45; cf. CIC, can. 1057 § 2.

129 Gen 2:24; cf. Mt 10:8; Eph 5:31.

130 Cf. CIC, can. 1103.

131 Cf. CIC, can. 1057 § 1.

132 Cf. CIC, cann. 1095-1107.

133 Cf. CIC, can. 1071.

134 Cf. Council of Trent: DS 1813-1816; CIC, can. 1108.

135 Cf. CIC, can. 1063.

136 GS 49 § 3.

137 Cf. CIC, can. 1124.

138 Cf. CIC, can. 1086.

139 Cf. CIC, can. 1125.

140 1 Cor 7:14.

141 Cf. 1 Cor 7:16.

142 Cf. CIC, can. 1134.

143 Cf. Mk 10:9.

144 GS 48 § 1.

145 GS 48 § 2.

146 Cf. CIC, can. 1141.

147 LG 11 § 2.

148 LG 11 § 2; cf. LG 41.

149 GS 48 § 2.

150 Eph 5:21; cf. Gal 6:2.

151 Tertullian, Ad uxorem. 2,8,6-7:PL 1,1412-1413; cf. FC 13.

152 FC 13.

153 Mt 19:6; cf. Gen 2:24.

154 FC 19.

155 GS 49 § 2.

156 Cf. FC 19.

157 GS 48 § 1.

158 Cf. FC 20.

159 Cf. FC 83; CIC, cann. 1151-1155.

160 Mk 10:11-12.

161 FC 84.

162 GS 48 § 1; 50.

163 GS 50 § 1; cf. Gen 2:18; Mt 19:4; Gen 1:28.

164 Cf. GE 3.

165 Cf. FC 28.

166 Cf. Acts 18:8.

167 Cf. Acts 16:31; Acts 11:14.

168 LG 11; cf. FC 21.

169 LG 11.

170 LG 10.

171 GS 52 § 1.

172 FC 85; cf. Mt 11:28.





This Rock

Volume 10, Number 11/12

November/December 1999





Marriages sometimes break up because people have an unclear idea of what marriage is, why it exists, and why it requires such commitment. Many marry based on feelings, with little thought to the nature of the institution. The procreative purpose of marriage, which by natural law is its primary end, is especially neglected. Some married couples plan from the outset never to have children, denying an essential property of marriage (openness to fertility) that is required for it to be validly contracted.



Catholic theology has always recognized that, according to natural law and the Bible, marriage is not only for the companionship and mutual love of the spouses but also for the procreation of children.

Thomas Aquinas stated, "It is clear that offspring is the most essential thing in marriage, secondly fidelity, and thirdly [the] sacrament; even as to man it is more essential to be in nature than to be in grace, although it is more excellent to be in grace" (Summa Theologiae IIIb:49:3).



The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, "By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring, and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory" (CCC 1652). "Married couples should regard it as their proper mission to transmit human life and to educate their children" (CCC 2367).



The following passages show the Fathers clearly understood this natural law purpose of marriage, though they also recognized that other benefits (such as companionship, mutual love, physical pleasure, and the release of sexual tension) also follow from it.



Justin Martyr



But whether we [Christians] marry, it is only that we may bring up children; or whether we decline marriage, we live continently (1st Apology 29 [A.D. 151]).



Athenagoras



Therefore, having the hope of eternal life, we despise the things of this life, even to the pleasures of the soul, each of us reckoning his wife whom he has married according to the laws laid down by us, and that only for the purpose of having children" (Plea for the Christians33 [A.D. 177]).



Clement of Alexandria



Since pleasure and desire seem to fall under marriage, it must also be treated of. Marriage is the first conjunction of man and woman for the procreation of legitimate children. . . . Neither ought everyone take a wife, nor every woman take [a husband], nor always, nor in every way, nor inconsiderately. But [she is to take] he who is in certain circumstances, and such a one as and at such time as is requisite, and for the sake of children, and one who is in every respect similar [to her], and who does not by force or compulsion love the husband who loves her. . . . Now marriage is [also] a help in the case of those advanced in years, by furnishing a spouse to take care of one, and by rearing children of her to nourish one's old age" (Stromata 2:23 [A.D. 206]).



Clement of Alexandria



When the apostle [Paul] says it is good not to touch a woman [1 Cor. 7:1], he speaks not to those who chastely use marriage for procreation alone, but to those who were desiring to go beyond procreation, lest the adversary raise a strong blast and arouse desire for foreign pleasures [ie. adultery] (ibid. 3:15:96).



Tertullian



We [Christians] do not indeed forbid the union of man and woman, blessed by God as the generator of the human race, and devised for the replenishment of the earth and the furnishing of the world, and therefore permitted, yet singly [monogamously] (To My Wife 2 [A.D. 207]).



Minucius Felix



By choice we [Christians] are bound by the bond of a single marriage with the desire of procreating (Octaius 31:5 [A.D. 226]).



Origen



But in the New Covenant also there are some legal injunctions [given in concession to human weakness], for example, because of our hardness of heart, it has been written on account of our weakness, "But because of fornications, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband" [1 Cor. 7:2] (Commentary on Matthew 14:23 [A.D. 248]).



Lactantius



Whoever cannot control his affections, let him keep them within the limits of a lawful bed (Divine Institutes 6:23:3 [A.D. 307]).





Lactantius



God gave us eyes not to see and desire pleasure, but to see acts to be performed for the needs of life; so too, the genital ['generating'] part of the body, as the name itself teaches, has been received by us for no other purpose than the generation of offspring (ibid. 6:23:18).



Cyril of Jerusalem



Let those . . . be of good cheer who are married and use their marriage properly; who enter marriage lawfully and not out of wanton and unbounded license; who recognize periods of continence so that they may give themselves to prayer; who in the assemblies bring clean bodies as well as clean garments into church; who have embarked upon the matrimonial estate for the procreation of children, and not for the sake of indulgence (Catechetical Lectures 4:25 [A.D. 350]).



Cyril of Jerusalem



And those who are once married-let them not hold in contempt those who have accommodated themselves to a second marriage. Continence is a good and wonderful thing; but still, it is permissible to enter upon a second marriage, lest the weak might fall into fornication (ibid. 4:26 [A.D. 350]).



John Chrysostom



There are two reasons why marriage was instituted, that we may live chastely and that we may become parents (On Those Words of the Apostle "On Account of Fornication"' [A.D. 392]).



John Chrysostom



There is no great reason to have money while there is great reason to have wives to preserve chastity; hence no one blames a man who has lawful intercourse with his wife into old age, but all blame him who accumulates money (Homilies on Titus 5 [A.D. 395]).



John Chrysostom



[A wife is] espoused to her husband to be his partner in life, and for the procreation of children, not for the purposes of indecency and laughter; that she might keep the house, and instruct him also to be serious, not that she might supply to him the fuel of fornication [Homilies on 1 Thessalonians 5 [A.D. 400]).



Augustine



Among all nations and all men, therefore, the advantage of marriage is for the sake of begetting offspring and in the fidelity of chastity. In the case of the people of God, however, there is also the holiness of the sacrament, on which account a woman is not permitted, even when she leaves with a repudiation, to marry another while her husband yet lives, not even for the sake of bearing children. Although this is the only reason why marriage takes place, even if this for which marriage takes place does not follow, the marriage bond is loosed only by the death of a spouse (On the Good of Marriage24:32 [A.D. 401]).





Augustine



In marriage, however, let the blessings of marriage be loved: offspring, fidelity, and the sacramental bond. Offspring, not so much that it may be born, but because it can be reborn [as a Christian]; for it is born to punishment unless it be reborn to life. Fidelity, but not such as even the unbelievers have among themselves, ardent as they are for the flesh. . . . The sacramental bond, which they lose neither through separation nor through adultery-this the spouses should guard chastely and harmoniously (Marriage and Concupiscence 1:17:19[A.D. 419]).



Augustine



The procreation of children is the first and natural and lawful reason for marriage (On Adulterous Marriages 2:12:12 [A.D. 419]).