There have been quite a few emails or comments I've been tagged in lately asking for information about headcovering, especially in snoods.
While I do wear actual snoods from time to time, more often than not I wear regular scarves and tie them in a snood-like fashion.
Like many other things women do, I think this is one of those areas that we can talk about til we are blue in the face, but that ultimately, I never became comfortable with until I just did it, day in and day out.
The majority of the questions lately have been about alternatives to the traditional chapel veil.
Some people don't like chapel veils because they seem too fancy, others don't like them because they seem to hard to use with the baby pulling at them. I love love love chapel veils, but we attend a Maronite parish and sometimes Chapel Veils are a little too Roman Catholic for my mood there.
If you really LIKE Chapel veils, don't be afraid to wear them! Teach those babies not to touch by patiently saying no and not letting them do it.... over and over and over.
And also, please know that I am not beneath wearing a jean skirt and chapel veil. They don't have to be so fussy and fancy and that combo can look really cute when it's done well.
Personally, I alternate all different types of headcoverings depending on the occasion, but if you're looking for an alternative to the chapel veil, these are two of my favorite everyday veiling looks.
They are easy to achieve, can be done in a minute or so even if I am getting out of a car and unbuckling kids from car seats at the same time as I'm veiling. My daughters also wear their own headcoverings like this a lot and they love it. You can also dress these up or down depending on the occasion and they use the two most common scarf types so you don't have to go out and buy anything fancy like a brand new snood. ;)
Have fun!
Long rectangular scarf (top) or a Large square scarf tied in front ( bottom) or in the back (middle).
I have recently been studying the foundations of what is called the Jesuit Education, as per the Ratio Studiorum.
Throughout history Jesuits have been famous for their educational contributions to the world. They perfected the art of the Classical Education, and like Charlotte Mason rigorously fought against the mind-numbing fact-imbibing techniques of the day.
I came to study it for two reasons. (a) My husband and I are interested in securing a 100 % Catholic education for our children, drawing from the ancients-- not because we are worried that they will stray from the faith if we don't, but because we know and understand that the ancients were able to do one thing that is sorely lacking in our modern world: they were able to think.
(b) I am particularly interested in what ways the history of Catholic education affected the ideas of Charlotte's that we deem particularly brilliant. For example, how heavily she was influenced by this idea that children are born persons, a Catholic theological point that, if it were truly understood, would serve as a dissolving agent for the prevalent culture of death all around us.
I also find studying the history of the Classical Liberal Arts education very beneficial for putting Charlotte's ideas into context.
In this case, for example, I was looking for information about how to DO our short periods of recitation in various subjects (math facts, latin, grammar) in the method Charlotte would have been most accustomed to. I knew that she had her students do recitations. I didn't know what they looked like.
Below is a simple breakdown of the Ignatian method.
The foundation of the Ignatian Method is based on the Spiritual Exercises and the Ratio Studiorum of St. Ignatius of Loyola and seeks:
To focus on formation, not information
To have the goal of leading the student to the knowledge and love of God
To help the teacher/parent train the student's memory, understanding and will
To train the student to speak, write and act well
To do all things Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, for the greater glory of God
Ignatian education is education with a purpose in mind beyond simply filling heads with data. A proper education should:
Form children into adults capable of being leaders and effective agents for Christ in the world
Fashion in the student an intelligent obedience to all duly-constituted authority
Develop in the student a respect for the contributions of the past
Create competency in the arts of expression
Instill in the student the habit of orderly thinking, trained by a thorough grounding in the basics and expanded in a literature-based curriculum
How does this work? The three tools of Ignatian education are:
Self-activity: forms the habit of independent study and interest in scholarly pursuits
Mastery: tackling progressively more difficult material through learning, repetition, and memorization builds confidence and motivation to keep learning
Formation: emphasizes development of the whole person--mind, body and soul--to help the student learn to make wise choices in line with the will of God
(I got this simplified outline from Kolbe Academy - a Catholic classical homeschool curriculum provider that teaches using the Ignatian Method.)
Those of you familiar with Charlotte's Methods will no doubt see so many correlations between her ideas and the traditional Jesuit Education-- a true "Catholic classical education!"
Unlike the Puritan "classical"education, which aims to indoctrinate in order to arrive at truth, the Catholic education seeks to teach ordered thinking and the use of reason to arrive at truth.
I've been thinking about the importance of this a great deal as my family undergoes a very..... a very us kind of trial. My husband and his brother are having a disagreement, because his brother has suddenly become heavily influenced by Calvinist theology, and as such is suddenly rather anti-Catholic. This causes rifts and wounds in our relationships, which is unfortunate. I am confident in the power of Christ to overcome these demonic rifts and bouts of strife, but in the meantime I have also been fascinated as I watched the different ways with which they "make their case."
My brother-in-law's method of argument is to provide walls of scripture. He is a scripture hammer-- for each question that arises he provides ten-twelve different scriptures pulled from various parts of the Bible as "proof texts." There is no real method of interpretation, he simply gives us passages that he has been handed as "proof" of Calvinist/Reformed theology, regardless of the context, or seemingly opposing scriptures that exist elsewhere in the Bible. This is what I call the Puritan Hammer method of debate. I personally feel it's a method reminiscent of a toddler plugging his ears with his fingers and sticking out his tongue.... "Neiner, neiner! itissobecauseisaythebiblesayssoandihavetheholyspirit!" And I'm ashamed to say it's a method I've used many times in the past. :/
My husband's method, on the other hand, is to appeal to his brother's reason and ability to think. "Let's first determine who has the authority to interpret scripture," he argues, and "let's look at how these two scriptures could appear to disagree on the issue, one pointing to predestination and one pointing to free will."
In the car yesterday, on our way home from Church, my husband began to discuss the Catechism with our children. Rather than tell them: "Children, we believe this. Say it with me!" He posed them a question:
"Children," he asked. "Do you believe it's possible that God may have created someone to send them to hell?" "Nooooooooooooo!" They shouted gleefully. "Why not?" He asked them. And they began to reason together.... my kids giving answers and my husband asking questions. Only at the very end did he say: "Very good, children, that is truth. God both predestines us and knows all things AND gives us free will to freely choose Him. "
Honor your childrens' personhood by giving them the ability to think. But guide them in logical thinking, and provide them with ample examples of truth-in-action. This is the Catholic way.
There is no hard proof anywhere I've seen that says CM was influenced by these ideas, but she was no doubt very familiar with them.
Other innovative Catholic educators who were her contemporaries certainly took these ideas into consideration (Maria Montessori among them)-- with CM delivering further, clear instruction as to how to give a truly Classical Liberal Arts Education to a child who is born a person.
Certainly the goals and methods appear to have very much in common.
Both methods teach that formation of the whole person is to be prefered over the fine-tuning of just one aspect of the mind, both methods use self-teaching (vs teachers "telling") and allowing the student to grapple with the ideas themselves. Both methods emphasize mastery over covering a lot of ground. Both methods involve re-telling, and competing with oneself to enjoy the satisfaction of learning well-done. Both methods emphasize using the best possible literature (the "classics") as the foundation for all knowledge and understanding. Both methods had for their chief aim: the knowledge and love of God.
As I grow in my understanding of Charlotte's methods, it has been tremendously beneficial for me to dig into the long and sacred tradition of Catholic education, and to understand that these tried-and-true methods really formed Charlotte's ideas about education, which stemmed from her faith in God and understanding of his nature.
Catholics who are afraid of using Charlotte Mason because she "wasn't Catholic" should be studying her work. They might be surprised to find just how Catholic she actually was!
Once every week for some time now, during our catechism lessons, I have built into our schedule a section of time to study a habit or character quality (a virtue, if you will).
Usually I pick a habit we are going to work on, I find a story that demonstrates a practical application, I pick out a memory verse or two, and look for some opportunities in our day to encourage it... and basta. Takes five minutes.
Seems simple enough, but in reality it has caused me great anguish in my lesson planning. It's a short lesson, but long on preparation! How I have longed for a ready-made habits curriculum!
For one thing, I'm a die-hard Charlotte Mason follower, as you know, and she listed fifty odd habits throughout her works that she found worthy of emphasis. I've gone through several times now and coded bible verses to these habits, read and re-read and used ideas from my favorite, worn-out manual of habits training: "Laying Down the Rails." I use it, but it's all kind of a mess in my head.... each week I have to pull from many different sources to do something very simple-- teach a habit.
There is currently no real habit- training curriculum out there I could substitute in it's place that's as thorough as this one.
And though Laying Down the Rails is epic, it isn't a curriculum. And as such, some part of it frustrates me because it does not contain lesson plans or even a simple format. It's more like a series of meditations for the person intending to instill the habits in another or in themselves, none of which is practical for me in a setting with small children. I use it every day, but my children haven't yet really reaped the benefits of it.
So, my solution for practicality has always been the Duggar's Character Quality Chart, a pdf I've seen wandering around the internets.
I've used it for many years, one character quality at a time, doing memory work or just sharing stories about the qualities.
Yesterday, I was reading a thread in a Catholic Homeschooling mother blog that really offended me, in which a group of women thought it was somehow encouraging to dump on each other's (and their own) husbands. Don't get me started on how common of a mindset I have found that to be among American Catholic women. o.O
Anyways, it reminded me that I just never, ever, EVER want to be like that. That I really want to honor and respect and serve my husband. And let him lead!
I've always found a few of the Gothard definitions of these character qualities kind of ... off. And I realized I'd never checked in with my husband about them.
So without a second thought, I printed it up, and marched upstairs to his office real quick with my Character Quality chart, and asked him what the thought about it to use as a formal "curriculum."
He didn't even look at it. Hah!
My husband is always telling me that there is no need to re-invent the wheel, and he is so right!
He maintained that as we taught them philosophy (and learned ourselves), we would find these habits becoming naturally instilled in them-- and us. He also maintained that there was no better way than a hands on object lesson- often found in nature- to do so. "That's the advantage a homeschool has over a normal school," said my husband, who has never read a word of Charlotte Mason's other than the ones I shove under his nose repeatedly. " Remember that if you tell them, they will hear it, and if you show them, they will understand it-- but if you let them do it, they will remember it. You have the opportunity throughout the day to help them do that and learn these things. Especially outside."
"Quit having a committee about this stuff," he said to me. "YOU need to learn the virtues. Then you will be able to teach them."
And wouldn't you know it--- Charlotte Mason had already "told" me this in Volume 2, pp. 182, 183:
“Object-lessons should be incidental; and this is where the family
enjoys so great an advantage over the school. It is almost impossible
that the school should give any but set lessons; but this sort of
teaching in the family falls in with the occurrence of the object. The
child who finds that wonderful and beautiful object, a ‘paper’ wasp’s
nest, attached to a larch-twig, has his object-lesson on the spot from
father or mother”
And this:
“Our constant care must be to secure that they do look, and listen,
touch, and smell; and the way to this is by sympathetic action on our
part: what we look at they will look at; the odours we perceive, they,
too, will get” (Vol. 2, pp. 192, 193).
And this:
“The mother cannot devote herself too much to this kind of reading, not
only that she may read tit-bits to her children about matters they have
come across, but that she may be able to answer their queries and
direct their observation” (Vol. 1, pp. 64, 65).
All this left me thinking I just needed to be more focused myself on learning the habits (like... perhaps... by reading about them, as my husband and CM suggested? Yes, from Socrates, and Aristotle... and Maybe even in Laying Down the Rails?)
I needed to do better with not just SENDING them outside to do nature study but doing it with them myself. Baby and all! Ditto for being with them as they did their chores, cleaned themselves up, etc.
AND I needed to remember that that five minutes spent in a formal "lesson" needn't be mind-numbing memory work, but instead should contain a quick story, passage, or discussion to fit with the lessons we meet in nature or around the house. Something to inspire in them the desire to achieve habit mastery. Something which I myself understood well, so that I would be able to teach it well.
Some of you may want to check out this new publication from the makers of Laying Down the Rails to do just that. Yep, unbelievable as it may seem--- an email announcing it's availability just popped into my inbox as I was writing this blog post!
He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. (1 Timothy 3:6)
My husband wrote this in a different context the other day, but it was so good I had to share:
There is a perilous trap for neophytes in the Church: Obsession with Apologetics. When the neophyte does not possess sufficient self knowledge, he may deceive himself and say," Ah! I love the truth!" But in his heart he merely wants to be like those whom he reveres, because he doesn't know what it means to really love. He has yet to discover that, to discover how he is loved.
But just like a child doesn't know how to be a man, or a son a father, neither does the novice know the way. He loves winning, he loves pontificating, arguing, agreeing with the right people, pointing his finger, and saying true things (though he doesn't know their full meaning). He says what he has heard, and marvels at the continuity, and imagines that if he says these things to others he will be just like those who said it to him. He is exactly what a novice is... immature. And if anyone grants him an apostolate because he is zealous, not discerning his immaturity, they make a grievous error, imperiling his soul.
In the natural course of time, his false pride will wilt and whither, if no one feeds it with honors of which he is not worthy. When his pride is frustrated to death, he will despair, and learn humility. Then, he is no more a novice. Then, he will see that the love he had for the truth before was like the love of a boy for a girl, because he will know then that his love now is like the love of a man for his wife and his children. Then, he will understand.
You can see his arrogance, not because he speaks the truth boldly. But because he doesn't say it with decency. He doesn't understand, he even resents the maxim of the philosopher," Maxims are unbecoming in the mouths of youths." Pontificating what he has not allowed to change him. And you will see his immaturity in other plain ways: impunctuality, imprudence, course jesting and foolishness. He always has a river of words coming out of his mouth. These if they are given a ministry become vain and puffed up, imagining themselves to be something when in truth they are nothing but neophytes.
And many a Christian ought to recognize themselves in this presently, and others looking back. It is a constant peril. Humility, humility, humility! How important it is to wait upon the Lord, until such a time as when you have what you have in the mind in the heart. If a man is honest with himself, he know this will take years of constant prayer, reading the scripture, frequenting the sacraments, oft resorting to the Church to seek the face of God before the sacrament. In time such a man will be approved of God, having in him a new thing... in the quietude of his soul, he will know it. And this is why in the Early Church, it was established that no one could be a theologian unless they had experienced God.
So, put your face to the ground before the sacrament, pray for God's will, learn by doing righteousness, and hold your peace. There are enough pests in the Church, trouble making busy bodies. The Church already has its fill of babblers, learn holiness through fearless and quite servitude, holding the mystery of the Gospel in a good conscience. Don't go in pretending or wanting to be somebody. As Christ said,"When you are invited by anyone to a wedding feast, do not sit down in the best place, lest one more honorable than you be invited by him; and he who invited you and him come and say to you, ‘Give place to this man,’ and then you begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down in the lowest place, so that when he who invited you comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, go up higher.’ Then you will have glory in the presence of those who sit at the table with you. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” And this is how you should be in the Churches.
My kids are memorizing the Ten Commandments in their Catechism lessons.
Naturally, this has led to all sorts of interesting discussions about what they mean.
Number four is a tough one-- one they have mulled over quite a bit, and one that directly affects them and convicts them regularly:
"Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- (Ephesians 6:2) "that all will go well with you."
The other day, my sister in law and I were watching our children playing at the park, and she described to me her battle with the issue of getting one child to sleep in her bed.
My thoughts ran over the range of ideas about how to solve this problem.
Many of my friends genuinely enjoy being in bed with baby. Even if that means staying that way as baby grows into a toddler... and school-age child.
Some (like me) think it's lovely, but impractical and doesn't meet our parenting goals.
Some downright object because of their parenting philosophies.
For those of us who choose to fight this battle-of-the-beds, and those who vacillate between the two, there are many methods. And they all work so long as we remain consistent and accept certain aspects of the method's downfalls. There is no perfect sleep solution.
One thing we all know, though, is that it's not enough to say: "because I say so." One cannot COMMAND a child to sleep. Mind you, there is a time and a place and way for saying that it's time to sleep, but that isn't the issue. The issue is the location and quality of the sleep that will be gotten.
In fact, unless the child has been trained from the beginning to sleep away from the parents or has been allowed to co-sleep, this often marks the first real battle-of-the-wills in the young parent's life.
Charlotte Mason talked a great deal about the issue of authority, which is one of the main reasons I get slightly ruffled -- or at least...... question--- when proponents of AP (And by AP I mean anything goes) parenting or unschooling families claim they use Charlotte's methods. Not only was she methodical and disciplined but she advocated order, structure, discipline, and even the occasional-- gasp-- spanking!
However, once I began to really immerse myself in her work, I realized that there was a great big difference in her view of our parental responsibility to discipline and most of the loud-mouthed pro-discipline parenting gurus out there.
Where the biblical parenting books I had read previously advised me to take authority, Charlotte often reminds us that we have it already. And where most of the parenting books I had read say to smash the child's will beneath your own until he is finally and perfectly submitted, Charlotte insists that we must enslist the Child's will beside our own until he has submitted of his own accord and because he is motivated to do right.
That's all fine and dandy, you may be thinking, but how do we do that?
And that's where the brilliance of Charlotte's methods becomes glaringly obvious, as well as the fact that her methods cannot really be separated one from the other. They are a system, part of a greater philosophy.
She says that we use the ONLY things we really have at our disposal:
Our own example.
Some of the most helpful parenting advice I have read in the past has involved the idea that children see everything we do. What a terrifying thought! And yet it is absolutely true-- children are so malleable, and imitate the things they see around them. This should be a good reflection for us on the power of our surroundings, but more than that it should inspire us to behave as we would like to see our own children behave. We ourselves set the tone in our family and thus, in the world.
Upon receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, Mother Teresa of Calcutta was asked, “What can we do to promote world peace?” She answered, “Go home and love your family.”
It's true... children see.
Likewise, Charlotte admonishes us to remember those to whom we ourselves owe obedience. She says that letting the children see that we have our own things we must do because "we ought" helps them to realize that this is the natural order of life and not something they will one day escape.
The child's good habits.
Charlotte's insistence upon instilling good habits in children and intentional parenting (vs reactive parenting) results in the child being "formed" in good character from the earliest days. Like the advocates of tomato staking, CM teaches us that we should be vigilant over our children's behaviors and exposures from the very beginning, so that we will later be free to allow THEM freedom, knowing we have laid down the rails and that they will, with minimal maintenance, always stay on the right track. This is why she absolutely insists on teaching children the habits of attention, obedience, and truthfulness first and foremost. The child's natural desire for order, truth, and beauty. This tendency will be a great benefit to them if it is cultivated.
In the past few months on facebook, for example, many of my friends have been discussing techniques and ideas for not yelling at their children. Having tried this myself I at first decided that quiet, Michelle Duggar-esque conversations with children simply weren't going to work with my flesh-nature.
Thankfully, as my Husband and my friend Cherry have frequently reminded me: there is the Holy Spirit to help me.
As if I needed anything beyond that, there is also this:
"Be good-natured in your position of authority. Have confidence. Don't be anxious, domineering, interfering, or demanding. Have confidence in the children. (Vol I p 29-30)
What's that? I don't have to TAKE authority? It is a gift given me by God that I must only use? OH.
Because how many of my arguments with my children are actually based on me not having confidence in my authority, or in my children's ability to do what I am asking them to do?
In combination with principle number one up there, that children DO what they SEE, I'm pretty sure that all my problems would be solved if I would just remember these wise words. I'd no longer be playing referee between grumpy, authority-taking children left and right. I'd no longer be reproaching them for harsh words and tones of voice every few minutes.
In fact, I'm pretty sure we'd have those promised "smooth and easy days" Charlotte speaks of.
So how does this relate to the eternal bed-battle or to any other battle which I might have to pick with my child?
I must only be intentional.... training my child BEFORE the problem occurs. Instead of responding with wonder and awe and furor when a child fails at an expected behavior, I must examine how well I have prepared him to pursue the expected behavior. I must reproach only myself for not having done a better job at training him. I must remain calm, and continue to enlist his little will to firmly face the challenge side-by-side with me to overcome the flesh!
Make a list of the ten biggest problems you face with your children:
Do I want my child to behave in church? I must play church at home. I must teach them to sit quietly for a time, and by my own example, have a quiet time each day.
Do I want my child to be polite? I must be polite to them. I must play polite dinner games that teach table manners.
Do I want my child to play nicely with other children? I must teach them to share, and to get in the habit of using nice words and tones of voice. I must respond to THEM with kind words and a gentle tone of voice. I must share with them, and give them space.
I must only be intentional. Say it with me: INTENTIONAL. I must have a plan, and a vision. An end-result in mind.
My reactions should be gentle. My intentions firm.
Not only does this benefit children, but it also does wonders for marriage.
When applied, it would:
-- remove sources of marital strife that come from conflict over the children's character deficiencies or the reactions of one or the other parent TO those deficiencies. -- give confidence to the couple in their parental authority and methods. -- create situations where teamwork becomes not only possible, but vital.
God's ways work. Charlotte Mason studied them. If you give these ideas a chance, let me know how it goes!
"Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:66)
When I think about planning, my main goal is to keep it simple.
Trouble is... I enjoy planning. Probably a little too much!
While spending time doing homeschool planning is something I enjoy, it's not something I need to do too much of at this stage in life when I'm juggling school for the kids, school for myself, the demands of home life, of caring for my sick father in law, of and marriage and parenthood with young children. I could spend all day immersed in my lists, but at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is what I did, not what I planned.
So if you're like me, you'll need a system...and here's how I have worked it out.
Just like staying organized or clean or growing in prayer, homeschool planning requires regular time and attention.
The formula I have used this year is super simple, but it works really well and I hope to stick to it in following years. I have each of these scheduled into my calendar as much as possible.... with the only ones I've slacked in being co-op, and that's for a good reason (babies! Ah!!!)
By next year I hope to have co-op days regularly scheduled each month as well. YEARLY
1 yearly curriculum review and planning retreat day (full day with goal setting, curriculum selection and review, evaluation of the previous year, checking in with those pesky govt. requirements etc.)
2 bi-annual philosophy/method retreat days (one in the spring and one in the fall, preferably with like-minded friends and family. Some people go to conventions.... I like to get together and dig in with friends and hear what they are up to, and pray together.)
MONTHLY
1 monthly evaluation session (as easy as ten minutes with a cup of coffee & a notebook on the deck) that includes a one-subject review (for example, focusing on history, or math)
1 monthly method session (studying CM, praying, and chatting with husband or friends)
2 bi-monthly co-op days (I do mine on first and third Fridays.. or will when we get back in gear here.)
WEEKLY
1 weekly lesson planning day (I do mine on Sunday evenings and love it that way)
At least 1 weekly blog post or journal entry about the journey
DAILY
1 morning check-in with my CM study group on facebook for info/inspiration and a prayer covering.
1 evening check-in with my notes for the following day.
That's it!
It's enough to satisfy my inner love of list-making and book-reviewing and coffee with friends, while making sure to keep me on track. It's also enough to make sure I'm on top of my goals, enough to make sure my kids don't come to the table in the morning and find me empty handed.... and enough to ensure we are always growing and learning in Charlotte's methods and ideas and doing our part to share them with others.
If you have a system that works for you, I'd love to hear about it!
Totally excited to have found this and don't know why I didn't think of it--- I have made lots of yogurt in my life, but never without the proper equipment (ie yogurt makers.) A friend of mine found this super easy yogurt recipe using a crockpot. Love it, and going to try it asap. Yay!
I've gone through so many phases in my search for the elusive quiet time.
As the spring / summer season gets into high gear, I'm able to get outside again which is hands-down my favorite way to go. I get up early, set the baby monitor on the deck, and sit outside bonding with birds and squirrels and the occasional cat while spending some quality time with God. I like these mornings so much I could let them go all day, but alas, the little, noisy ones are often the ones who wake up first and my quiet praise is interrupted by gleeful exclamations of: "Carolina wren bird! See? Tea-kettle!!Look, Mommy!!"
Now, don't get me wrong-- I recognize the praise in that. But that doesn't make the interruption less painful.
In the past I've tried it all, from getting up before sunrise to hiding out in the bathroom to forbidding speaking before a certain hour, and everything in between. Nothing seems to work as long as I'd like it to, so my personal devotional time has taken on three qualities.
First, it's fast and condensed.
Second, it's usually outside
Third, it is usually recorded, so that I can go back and remember the whirlwind graces later.
Also, since I'm usually nursing a baby, there are times and seasons. Sometimes all I can do is hold a tiny bible in one hand while I sit on the couch, and other times all I can do is read something on the computer. Or listen while I'm out running. Sometimes all I can do is pray the rosary on my fingers while soothing a fussy baby. Sometimes all I can do is read a ten-second passage or recite a memory verse while I'm scrubbing dishes, and meditate on that.
One has to be flexible and ready to listen for the Holy Spirit wherever He wants to speak. If we make an idol out of our quiet time, God will take it from us. In a sense, motherhood is a great gift, because while it makes quiet time with God next to impossible, it frequently reminds us that too much introspection and self-help is the opposite of what we need. We need to put others first, to walk away from sin, to see Jesus in the weak, the poor, the sick, and the aggravating. This is why when I wake up, the first thing I do is roll out of bed and do a spiritual pushup, exclaiming: "Serviam! (Let us serve!)" just like one of my favorite Saints, Josemaria Escriva. Sometimes, that's ALL I get the entire day. And that's OK.
Developing a habit of regular family prayer has made a huge impact in this area. It feeds my personal quiet time and in turn forms the family prayer time. Should I miss a quiet time it gives me that slow-down-and-pray time in which insight seems to just come.
As a family, we pray daily morning and evening prayer and study the catechism or read saints biographies together. My husband and I pray together at the end of the day on days he is home. And in the evening, we do a family bible study. We also have a weekly prayer group with friends AND a monthly discipleship encounter.
But even with all that, I have found that I REALLY need a personal, one-on-one, quiet time with God. And while I would rather it be a power hour out on the deck with my Bible, even just five minutes in the bathroom has been incredibly helpful.
There are several techniques that have really helped me.
The first is one I usually reserve for times of crisis and deep prayer. Usually it has to do with me having questions--- I want some answers from God. I write down my question, and as the week goes by and I listen for the "still, small voice" I record quickly what I hear. Then I am able to form a picture that is clear in my mind of what God is saying about a particular situation.
For every day, I do a simple Bible devotional-- one on my own, and one with my family, usually led by my husband. I try to encourage my children, as they get older, to make time for personal study too.
The SOAP method goes very well with inductive Bible Study, which is my favorite type of Bible Study. As opposed to deductive Bible Study (when you begin with a subject and work backwards to see where Scripture has something to say about it and what), inductive Bible study takes a passage and lets it speak to you. While I use deductive Bible Study methods when I know it is time to teach on a topic, the rest of the time I use inductive Bible Study in my personal quiet time and practice Lectio Divina with the children, which is basically the same thing.
SOAP includes the following steps: Scripture
Open with a short prayer, and read a passage in your Bible. Write the verse or verses that stand out to you in your reading in your journal.
Observation
What did you observe about the scripture that struck you? If you're using the inductive method, at this point you would mark your Bible with symbols to visually represent what you are reading. Can you make lists of things you notice or compare? If you are not using the inductive method, simply write in your journal what you have observed in the passage.
Application
How can you apply the observation so that it affects your life today?
Prayer
Write out a prayer to God based on what you just learned and ask him to help you apply this truth in your life.
Or, for an easier, simpler method, you can try The GOAL method. Every morning sit down and work systematically through your Bible, record the following four things you find in the passage you are reading (I do this when I wake up late or am short on time):
GRASP Grasp this promise.
OBEY Obey this command.
AVOID Avoid this sin.
LIVE Live this principle.
Later in the day, you can encourage this same thing with your children by using Lectio Divina:
My good friend, a seminarian, wrote these two formats for the use of my homeschooling co-op and we find it very effective.
He says: A lesson using Lectio Divina might follow one of the following formats:
1) Extended Session (20-45 minutes)
a) Introduction, explanation, and lectio (10-15 minutes)
b) Meditation, students pick a word, phrase, or image and write a meditation (10 -25
minutes)
Afterwards, student can share what they wrote.
c) Contemplation (1-2 minutes, maybe more in some circumstances)
You can have either silence or classical music playing. Students should be
encouraged to “talk with Jesus about what they wrote.” Also, as to avoid distractions,
students should close their eyes.
d) Oratio (1 minute) The teacher can close with a brief spontaneous, vocal prayer and a
formal prayer with the students such as a Glory be, Hail Mary, or other appropriate
prayers.
2) Short session (5-10 minutes, to be used at the beginning or end of class)
a) Read the passage and have students pick a word, phrase or image (1-2 minutes).
b) Ask a couple of students to share what they picked (1-2 minutes)
c) Then a brief silence (1 minute) and then a vocal prayer to end (1 minute).
The short form could be used throughout the day as a focus activity to begin class.
Ultimately, the whole point is to be steeped in the Word, however it comes to you, hearing it clearly through the crazy, bustling rhythm of a busy family life. However it works, however it comes, making time for Him each day has been the only way I've been able to find peace.
There are many mothers out there who have decided to try homeschooling and are looking to use the CM method. Having been one myself, I know how hard it was to sit on my hands and not to force/coerce my kids to sit down at the table and start doing copywork before they were ready.
In fact-- ooops--- I may have done just that. It's HARD!! I know it is. We read with excitement all the wonderful things our kids will be doing. We see our friends and fellow homeschoolers posting about it on facebook. We want to dive in. Yesterday.
But I do believe Charlotte was right to say that we should wait.
There is just so much going on in there to process and so much of it must come naturally and peacefully if it is to blossom in them at all, and so to before six to require a narration is just asking for trouble.
Now, we all know there are lots of things TO focus on during Year 0, whether we decide to spend a lot of time doing nature study, painting, or helping around the house. Ideally we are fully integrating the child into our grown up days while leaving them lots of room and space to grow in quietly and peacefully, preferably outdoors. And we aren't just letting them loose-- we are intentionally parenting them into those guiding rails we hope to set them free to follow later.
For those of us who have had one or two learners go through the Early Years period of a CM education and have regrets about how it went because we feel we didn't trust Charlotte as much as we should have, it's maybe doubly important to surround ourselves with reminders that this next time will be different-- better--- and more peaceful and joyful both for the child and for the parents.
On my end, when I hear all these mothers around me frequently flying into a panic over their pre-K curriculum, I am often so relieved not to be a part of the hive-mind. But even still, I feel certain that every couple of weeks I need to re-read Charlotte's statements about the importance of waiting, lest I be tempted to just plop my three year old down and hand her a worksheet..... or a copy of Plutarch.
Wait... she already does that by herself. Narration, for example, is one of those areas I really struggle. It seems to me to be something that I need to groom and build into the children and not something that will naturally bubble over one day. And yet today I was reminded of the beauty of the act of narration and the reasons why a child's narration is a perfect "test" of her ability to grasp the text or the world around her and compose it in a pleasing manner.
Whereas my seven year old, who is wrapping up AOY1 and who I hustled into "doing school" beginning promptly on her second birthday (doubting Charlotte every step of the way, mind you), truly struggles to narrate not because she doesn't WANT to do it naturally but because I ASK her to do so, my three year old excels. And so does my five year old, who loves to retell every story we tell him with great gusto, using such exact and precise language I've often wondered if he somehow memorized the text after hearing it once.
Today, we were sitting at the table and my three year old began recounting a story she had told us the night before. As she continued, I realized this was something she was developing a HABIT of doing.... every time the occasion presented itself, she had begun to tell us stories. I remembered that my older two children had gone through a similar phase.
I have been constantly amazed watching her grow and develop, noticing with joy all the telltale "signs" that she is onto the new skill. I recalled with great fondness the hours we used to all spend at the dinner table when they were tiny, telling stories-- whatever stories we wanted-- each in turn. Some of the little ones would talk the whole hour if I let them, with very few prompts other than "I see!" and "and then what happened?"
Now, this is story telling, not narrating (usually) but I call it pre-narration because it seems to be the stage in the early years that prepares the fertile ground for narrative abilities. In the moment, I had a lightbulb go off: THIS IS SCHOOL.
For a Charlotte Mason family, this act of letting a young child "tell" a story as she will is preparing her to later tell back her schoolbooks. But it's so natural and so painless and so enjoyable for both child and parent and onlooker! Yes, it's all those things.... and more!
Because as a parent, or as a sibling, it can be cute for a while to listen to these stories they want to tell over and over again. But it takes REAL kindness to sit and listen to a three year old with rapt attention for twenty minutes. It takes selflessness and courage, too.
It teaches those habits to your older children-- the habits of patience, of kindness, and of perseverance. Of attention! And so around the dinner table we go for another round, with the realization that though this is technically "school" it is really just me and my children, delighting in one another and building narrative skills.
And once again, Charlotte was right.
Below, here is my three year old telling us the tiger tale.
And here is a sweet little French girl doing the same thing that your own kids will love watching and listening to in preparation for their own French lessons later. Happy pre-narrating!
My husband just wrote an amazing post over at his blog, Stromatais, on the topic of Fatherhood.
I want you guys to read it and pass it around if it touches you-- this is a message we strongly believe in and that has transformed our family as the vision has been revealed to us.
I was feeling like a mega failure at homeschooling today....it's been a crazy month, and I just can't seem to get a handle on how to keep up. Instead of sticking to the lesson plans I've been racing around trying to incorporate our wild life into the things I'm hoping to be teaching.
Yes, there are teachable moments everywhere-- but I was feeling so frustrated that we had had very little time over this crazy vacation season to actually sit down and study our lessons.
BUT THEN....I had my family over for dinner.
It's my daughters' birthday and we were celebrating.
Just a few of the things I saw/overheard which completely changed my mind---and that reminded me that sometimes you just need to see your kids from outside the boxes you draw around your lesson plans. ;)
1. One of my kids asked for a broom to sweep up the porch. They all jumped in the air excited to help him, and left all the adults in the room standing around with their mouths hanging open when they did it. What kids do that??!
2. My seven year old daughter BEGGED me to read "just one page" from Paul Johnon's "A History of the American people," a book my dad -- who is an American Historian-- just finished.
3. My youngest (3) randomly recited a poem at the table: the Land of Counterpane.
4. My sister in law, a public schoolteacher who puts in countless hours training and curriculum selecting, was complaining about having a month to teach her kids fractions. My seven year old introduced her to Life of Fred. She left the house with the title of the LOF with fractions in it so she could buy it to teach her kids(!) Even better, she said: "then I can knock out some language arts requirements too." ;)
5. The same sister in law was talking about how she had Romeo and Juliet on the shelf in her third grade classroom and one of her students had picked it up and read it and had been talking to her about it. She expressed how amazed she was that her 3rd grader not only could read it, but would... after all it was on her reading list for ninth graders. We were able to testify to the fact that most "reading level" indications are meaningless. Good books are good books, and everyone will enjoy them. She found this idea amazing, and I loved sharing in her "aha!" moment.
6. My son, five, walked around spelling all the items in the room. And used both memory and phonetic rules, as appropriate, to do it. (Does it have a silent e?)
7. My five year old son also spontaneously narrated the story of St. Paul's conversion in a manner that left all of us rapt with attention.
I'm not saying I'm going to lose the lesson plans (as if!) but only that in times of stress when we feel like we aren't "doing enough," it might be good to take a step outside our plans to see how much our kids are growing in all the beautiful ways we are guiding them... and if we have laid down the rails properly, in all the ways we aren't.
“They (children) must be let alone, left to themselves a great deal, to
take in what they can of the beauty of earth and heavens; for of the
evils of modern education few are worse than this–that the perpetual
cackle of his elders leaves the poor child not a moment of time, nor an
inch of space, wherein to wonder–and grow.” -Charlotte Mason: Volume 1,
Home Education, Part II, P.44
It's FINALLY spring again, and I bet I'm not the only one working on homeschooling plans for next year!
I've been working on next year's schedule for weeks, it seems, and making very little headway.
Part of the reason, I realized, was that I didn't have a vision in mind--- or rather, I had an end goal but few concrete steps to help me achieve it.
I mean, yes, of course, we have the methods to go by.... we know what Charlotte wanted us to do, and how often. But the methods are only half the battle in scheduling. I also needed to evaluate what things and activities were important to my family, to discern our strengths and weaknesses, and to give thought to my husband's and children's preferences. I need to consider what has been working for us and what needs to go.
I admit that I'm daunted by the prospect of having three kids in three different AO years and soon four kids in four different AO years. Those I've spoken with who have done it have called it glorious, but I'm not walking the path yet so from down here it just looks.... frightening. :D
Over and over I've worked out scenarios in my head. Should I teach all the children at once, which results in running around and heart palpitations and stress? Or one at a time? Should I be done by twelve or go all day? Should I do one subject per day or switch them up and do them all every day? There are so many decisions to make, and each one of them could be the critical thing that gets my school year off to the wrong start come the first fall breeze.
Over the past year I've tried and retried at least six different organizers, planners, scheduling worksheets, etc. Each one of them worked well but needed tweaking. So as I sat here, last night, trying to re-write next year's schedule, I suddenly realized that before I can write the schedule I need to have some principles, and not just the CM methods, in mind.
Now yours may be very different, but I thought I would share what I came up with, because to me this is the stuff that makes this whole home education endeavor glorious--- when we inspire one another.
So, without further ado.... my new principles of scheduling.
1. We work around the liturgical year, and NOT the "school year."
2. We use CM's methods (short lessons/perfect execution/living books and narration etc.)
3. We schedule one subject per day of the week
4. We go by checklists and not time slots
5. We schedule a quiet time each day, masterly inactivity, and outdoor time.
6. We have each kid in their own year, but we combine subjects where we can.
7. We don't have to fit it ALL in each week, because when the weather changes here in the Carolinas,so does our schooling style.
8. A little bit every day goes a long way.
9. We keep in mind that education is a discipline, an atmosphere and a life.
10. We schedule chores and habits into our work day and we know when to stop and play.
There are some things we do every day:
Morning and evening prayer
Hymn Study
Catechism
Bible reading and memorization
Crossfit
Yoga
Folk Song study
Habit training
Arithmetic
Copywork or dictation
Foreign language
Reading/Recitation
Voice or Musical instrument
Poetry
Masterly Inactivity
Outdoor Time
Quiet time
Free Reading
Chores
And some things we do once a week:
The Rosary
Confession and Divine Liturgy
Picture Study
Literature
Fine Arts
Geography
Science
History
Picture study
Music theory
Art theory
Music study
Shakespeare
Plutarch
Dance
Torah Study
Gospel Study
Handicrafts/ Life skills
Nature Study and journals
Map Drills
Prayer journals
Book of Centuries
Commonplace books Shabbat dinners Havdalah
And some things we do once a month:
Purge toys/books/clothes History overview week History Projects week
Formal science lessons Family service project
And some things we do once a year:
Birthdays Anniversaries Liturgical feasts Family events Community events
Now, if I could just get that schedule written.... ;)
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