There have been so many earthquakes, wars, economical collapses, upheavals of nations, bizarre disasters, prophetic utterances which have apparently been verified, and warnings of chastisements from heaven lately that it is hard, these days, not to get carried away with "the signs of the times."
At least for someone like myself, who easily sees a "supernatural" explanation alongside the natural one, it is increasingly evident that humanity cannot continue at its present pace. If nothing else, the speed at which we communicate globally has potentially severed us from the ability to lead a stress-free life.
More and more people yearn for simplicity and simple human bonding, the exercise of charity towards other elements of Creation, such as the earth, or fellow man. Companies have picked up on this need for simplicity and attempt to sell us complex systems which further enslave us packaged as "life simplifiers." (Among them computers, gadgets, phones, vehicles, etc.)Even atheists are certain that in our current global climate: "Something's gotta give."
Satan is indeed in complete control of the situation here on Planet Earth, and his reign continues more and more people worship him inadvertently, bowing down to him in submission unknowingly and through such innocent actions as buying a card or a t-shirt, spending a night on the town, or sitting down to watch a movie.
These examples may seem so extreme, but all it takes is a short trip to YouTube to see evidence that this is so-- our whole world is steeped in occult symbolism, in materialism, atheism, modernism, humanism, and overt satanism. Most of us scoff at this idea, but remember... one of the best tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing us he didn't exist. The second after that was convincing us he knew special, hidden knowledge we needed to get to God.
We Christians know that this control has been given to him only for a time, and that our task, as difficult as it may seem, is to detach from our own desires and the pace of human life and recognize that eternal things are our heritage- to proclaim to others that same understanding that we may all one day be reunited in a world that isn't broken by sin. In the meantime, we suffer. And though Satan likes to lie to people and tell them that suffering is not necessary, God would tell us that it is not suffering that is optional, but our negative response to suffering. He Himself suffered greatly for the good of His creation. For that fact alone we should recognize that we will not escape it.
Scripture has warned us that as we approach the End of Time, suffering will increase. This, in fact, will be a sure "sign" that we should be prepared.
Surely you can look around and see that suffering is a universal human experience, that even the happiest and most "well-adjusted" (whatever that means) of people experience moments of grief and sadness. Surely you can see how exponentially these things have increased in our time-- when social media allows us to experience not only our own pain but everyone else's.
This suffering, contrary to what televangelists and Church-growth focused pastors would teach, IS the point. As Bishop Edward Slattery so beautifully stated in his homily yesterday at the Basilica:
"He makes himself most present in the suffering of his people and this is the mystery of which we must speak today, for when we speak of His saving presence and proclaim His infinite love in the midst of our suffering, when we seek His light and refuse to surrender to the darkness, we receive that light which is the life of men; that light which, as Saint John reminds us in the prologue to his Gospel, can never be overcome by the darkness, no matter how thick, no matter how choking.
Our suffering is thus transformed by His presence. It no longer has the power to alienate or isolate us. Neither can it dehumanize us nor destroy us. Suffering, however long and terrible it may be, has only the power to reveal Christ among us, and He is the mercy and the forgiveness of God.
The mystery then, of which we speak, is the light that shines in the darkness, Christ Our Lord, Who reveals Himself most wondrously to those who suffer so that suffering and death can do nothing more than bring us to the mercy of the Father.
But the point which we must clarify is that Christ reveals Himself to those who suffer in Christ, to those who humbly accept their pain as a personal sharing in His Passion and who are thus obedient to Christ’s command that we take up our cross and follow Him. Suffering by itself is simply the promise that death will claim these mortal bodies of ours, but suffering in Christ is the promise that we will be raised with Christ, when our mortality will be remade in his immortality and all that in our lives which is broken because it is perishable and finite will be made imperishable and incorrupt.
This is the meaning of Peter’s claim that he is a witness to the sufferings of Christ and thus one who has a share in the glory yet to be revealed. Once Peter grasped the overwhelming truth of this mystery, his life was changed. The world held nothing for Peter. For him, there was only Christ.
This is, as you know, quite a dramatic shift for the man who three times denied Our Lord, the man to whom Jesus said, “Thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church, that the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.”
Christ’s declaration to Peter that he would be the rock, the impregnable foundation, the mountain of Zion upon which the new Jerusalem would be constructed, follows in Matthew’s Gospel Saint Peter’s dramatic profession of faith, when the Lord asks the Twelve, “Who do people say that I am?” and Peter, impulsive as always, responds “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.”
Only later – much later – would Peter come to understand the full implication of this first Profession of Faith. Peter would still have to learn that to follow Christ, to truly be His disciple, one must let go of everything which the world considers valuable and necessary, and become powerless. This is the mystery which confounds independent Peter. It is the mystery which still confounds us: to follow Christ, one must surrender everything and become obedient with the obedience of Christ, for no one gains access to the Kingdom of the Father, unless he enter through the humility and the obedience of Jesus."
Scripture has also been telling people to be prepared from the departure of Christ-- God's Word is explicitly clear: No one knows the day nor the hour. However we have clear signs we need to be aware of... and our family has seen the signs. They escalate all around us. Whichever angle you want to take: Humanly-created disaster, an increase in wickedness, Natural disasters, wars and rumors of wars, a large harvest of people turning to Christ, powerful prophetic utterances, miracles, and supernatural events, you name it, we've got it going on now more than ever. We must be prepared.
Through prophecy and scripture the Lord has warned believers that there will be a time where the demonic realm is allowed to have complete free reign over the earth. This will be a dark time for humanity, darker than any other. I believe we see the beginnings of the unleashing already-- if we only look at the popularity of paranormal TV shows these days and the persistent use by so many clueless "investigators" across the globe of occult methodology which leads to the legal opening of portals between our world and the demonic world, one comes to understand. Satan is using all his same old tricks with such fervor that the whole world is falling for it, and not only is his larger plan in place (which, if I discussed here, you might find so wild that I will lose my readership :P) but his personal plan for each individual person is secured as he attempts to influence our free will through his most ordinary method: deception and temptation. The times are definitely dark.
This, then , has both a calming and a worrying effect on my soul: this knowledge gives me great peace because I know my Lord is returning. I see that there is evidence for my faith everywhere, and my inner "Thomas" is quieted-- I no longer need have any doubt whatsoever. At the same time, this knowledge produces panic in me: I am not even near being a HOLY person. And yet that, and nothing less is the standard. "Be Holy, as I am Holy," says the Lord. My whole life, it seems, has been a series of supernatural events to which I responded with an increase in faith... and yet as extraordinary as they have been, it has never been enough to keep me TOTALLY from sinning. Although our family has personally been graced with incredible miracles - the type of miracles which only ONE might convert entire populations-- it has not been the "One" thing I needed to stop sinning entirely. And so I pray, with the rest of the Church, "Lord, increase my faith."
Which is precisely what I was asking this morning when I went to mental prayer: How am I to reside at all times in your peace so that I might be completely converted?
1 Kings 19: 9 And there he went into a cave, and spent the night in that place; and behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and He said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 So he said, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”
God’s Revelation to Elijah
11 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
13 So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave.
The Lord was not in the Wind , the Fire or the Earthquake. And yet, Scripture elsewhere tells us that of course, He was. God is in all things because He is the creator and thus everything bears his "fingerprint.
Is this an inconsistency, as some "scholars" would have us believe? Not at all-- the story is speaking symbolically in a way that Elijah, and his children, those who exercise and interpret the prophetic gift, will understand.
Elijah has no greater children than the Carmelite Order- Carmelites revere the Prophet Elijah as their predecessor and even take his words as their motto: "With zeal have I been zealous for the Lord God of Hosts."
And yet, we must recognize that in this passage, Elijah is saying-- "my zeal was not enough. How can I KNOW YOU, God?"
This precisely is the Carmelite charism- and what Elijah learned in this passage--how to know God in union- and it is given through the practice of prayer and silence, two elements which cannot grow us on their own, but which, when fused together, are all we need.
You see, The story tells us the Lord was not in the wind. The Wind in my mind is the Spirit-- the miraculous workings of the spirit are what they are, but they are not the WHOLE of God's heart. Miraculous signs alone do not suffice to convert us and bring us to Union with Him. He was not in the fire, which in my mind is the demonic Spirit-- though through their manifestations we come to know and understand God better, we will not find union with Him through our conversion experiences of battle with them. He was not in the Earthquakes, or the natural and unnatural disasters, which point us to the "End" and make us tremble in Awe of God. Though they serve to "awaken" us to His majesty, they alone will not entirely convert us. No, He was in the still small voice which came after all of them--- in the interior silence of our own walks with Him.
This is why we must cultivate silence in a world which is screaming, this is why we must pray when all our inclinations are to run away, this is why we must stop and quiet our flesh, the loudness of our desires, our "stuff," and instead resolve to meet God in the quiet place and in the still, small voice... through the practice of mortification and prayer, when we will, as Peter, welcome the opportunity for transformative suffering in recognizing the glory that awaits us.
Christians, is the End of Times upon us? I believe the birth pangs have begun. Does that matter one iota in my own conversion or in anyone else's? No. We must not get caught up in the doom and gloom, the politics, the preparations, but instead work even HARDER to quiet everything around us and listen to that STILL. SMALL. VOICE, which is the Lord, for whom we are zealous, may all praise and honor be His!
"Perhaps this is one of the secrets of life-- to know 'Glory' when we see it..." --Charlotte M. Mason
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Near-perfect God moments.
Having recently come into a fuller understanding of the call to Carmel (and the reason why it takes discernment and the response to a sure call from God and not just the desire of our hearts to be a Carmelite) it has been made clear to me that while I do think I am called to Carmel, I have, until now, totally been missing the point.
I have realized that basically, my sinfulness knows no bounds. Sigh.
This vanity of mine is so extraordinary that it literally has to be beaten out of me, inch my miserable inch in which it clings to me with a death-grip. I cry out "use me, Lord," but when the inevitable suffering which comes with that hits, for through it we are tried, I am questioning heaven and losing all hope, over and over again. Amazingly, some of our greatest Saints did so as well, and I am comforted by their stories.
To be a Carmelite is to be surrounded by that "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1-2)which becomes like family-- pushing and pulling you into sanctity with great love and much stern reprimand. It is beautiful. It is painful. It is like nothing else.
As St Paul says: The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. "You're trying to do this on your own power," is the refrain of my husband, who woefully points out to me over and over again that I must let God be God. I fall and I rise, sustained by prayer and work and the loving hand of my Savior who doesn't mind slowing down to teach me to tie my shoes and help me clean up my messes.
Over and over again in ministry I have prayed for people who have been individually touched by the forces of evil either deliberately or through a corporate conspiracy of other persons who have been affected by the Enemy of Light.
At times, it has seemed breathtaking to me to see just how deep the roots of evil go. Eventually, through discernment and prayer I became exposed to some of the factors at work in our modern world which provoke us to sin or which contribute to Satan's plan. When I was a spiritual infant, I worried about whether to have cable TV in the house, or whether it was more Godly to have a morning devotional or a nightly one, whether I should read the NASB or the NKJV, wear dresses or pants, dress my kids up for church or not, and other such prominent issues over which there have been written literally hundreds of books. These days, things have changed.
My "concerns" are, in theory (and when I let them be) far greater than anything I would have expected to worry about-- the state of individual priests or parishes, of nations and kingdoms, what type of survival training we should be teaching our kids that will be most helpful for the day of the Lord's wrath. And that sounds nuts to the average American who is worried about who will win American Idol or if they will get to see their beloved Lucifer on Lost (ahem--- see what I did there?)
As someone who deals with the forces of evil in a tangible way each day, I can say that the one thing I would walk away from this experience- the business of being "me"- knowing is that the WHOLE world is under the power of the evil one, that he truly IS the prince of the air, that he truly does have .great power he has invested into all of the things which we, today, consider "normal, daily life."
Likewise I would remember that he is patient and has a plan, that to him entire centuries are simply building blocks for his final attempt to win a war he has already lost... a war which contains a final battle which is far, far closer than we think it might be today.
One would think that the obtaining of that knowledge would complete my conversion, but instead it has simply put me into a state of alternating panic that I am still as much of a sinner as I ever was and a state of sheer, dropped-jaw amazement at the unraveling of world events, of HISstory as it is made.
This, then, is the perfect time for me to recognize two things: First, I was called to Carmel for a reason. Since the reception of the Scapular in my OCDS community, I have become keenly aware that my life is required in this larger game of Life. That when I gave my LIFE to Christ that night in 1997 I needed to understand that He just might take me up on it-- asking me to die a little bit each day but even possibly asking me to give it entirely in the end for Him. Persecution of Christianity, in this post-Christian age, my friends, is just beginning.
For a Carmelite sister who enters the convent, that sacrifice is obvious... she is no more in the world and in her place she leaves the souls of those who will be saved thanks to her prayer and sacrifice. Her reward will be great. My impression of a secular Carmelite, however, was not so "severe." But in the last year I have realized that that's EXACTLY what is required of me-- my WHOLE life and all of those things which our society deems "normal" in exchange for the souls on which I beg my Lord for mercy.
I've been struggling with this concept now for some time-- how can I be "in" the world and not "of" the world-- and I believe that God has finally given me clarity in that department for now...
By seeking counsel from older, wiser Carmelite women who have walked in my shoes I see now the true depth of meaning of being a consecrated soul-- one SET APART. And knowing what I do know with regards to the plans of the enemy, I am convinced that to anything less than to live out this vocation is insanity and plays straight into his hand... God has asked me to work and pray, and witness to His Truth in the World and that is all that I can respond with: my life.
One by one the Carmelite examples parade before me (God sometimes has to make things REALLY clear to me :P) of people who gave themselves wholly to His service and through it found that not only they but countless others had changed. But to do that, we have to trust him.
The recent developments in my understanding of news in light of biblical prophecy etc have caused me also to love the Blessed Mother with an even greater devotion. I see now how much we need her loving guidance and how faithfully she responds to the Love of the One who IS Love in helping us to turn towards Him that "none may perish, but all have eternal life." His patience with our sinful world wears thin, but out of love for us and for the woman he created to bear His Son, He allows her to teach us how to love Him more and better. I see why Satan used the protestant reformation -- the genius was that it was not only to attempt to divide and conquer the Church but to conquer the hearts of those who had not yet turned towards the Blessed Mother, because in creating a protestant sect which loathes and denigrates Mary whom God Himself has exalted he has taken away one of the best gifts God gave to His children-- His own Mother. I am thankful that God called me to the Order of Our Lady and none other, that it is under her faithful protection that I come to know and love Jesus more each day. I am thankful for the weapons of my warfare: the brown scapular and the Holy Rosary, which draw me nearer to His heart through hers.
I see now more than ever the importance of following the Pope, under whom the Church of God is shepherded safely. I see why Satan hates him with such rage and how the fury of hell beats against the hearts of the Holy Popes that have burned with love for Christ, ensuring the spiritual safety of their flock against the wolves. I understand the prayer of Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI when he became pope:
"Pray for me," he said,"That I may not flee for fear of the wolves."
Most importantly, I see the importance of growing daily in trust and love of my Father in Heaven and through Him of the situations I encounter in life. I have learned the futility of panic or anxiety-- and their satanic origins. The heart of my family trusts in Our Lord, and --God help me, though I may fall again- we hope to be an evangelical beacon to the world that we can TRUST in God, no matter what hell comes against us... and it has and will.
This is where the wisdom of Carmel comes in- a wisdom so great it has sustained mankind through the ages because it came from God: "It is not necessary to KNOW much, but to love much." -Teresa of Avila
Yes, all of this revelation has come to me through my prayer. No, I can not do a thing about it but love God and love others. All of the knowledge of all the satanic conspiracies of the universe amount to nothing if I do not love God and people enough to begin responding with prayer, for example.
This afternoon at Carmelites, my baby started cooing and chattering loudly during a class on Teresa of Avila. I stepped outside with her, inwardly groaning that I had to miss out on a portion of a talk which I found so relevant-- about how we were nearing the end of an era and that because of the signs of the times we should turn to Teresa with renewed zeal as we undertook the perfecting of our relationship with the Lord. A sure guide, Teresa taught prayer and a closer intimacy with Christ and people everywhere were changed. 500 years later, here I sit, affected by her relationship with God. Since each of us will have a special role that we must live out in God's plan, the directives straight from Rome for our Order was to re-read Teresa in light of our times and of our own personal journeys-- NOT FOR OURSELVES, not only for our own growths, but so we could then share with apostolic zeal how to do so for those who are in need. Time is short.
So I walked out of the room, totally upset that this relevant talk was going to be missed as I rocked a babbling baby in the hallway. The hallway at this Parish overlooks a giant meeting room, normally empty, where people were milling around eating snacks.
I rubbed my eyes with disbelief: right below me stood, in an unmistakeable long grey robe with a white cord, Father Andrew Apostoli,CFR a priest in the Fransiscan Friars of the Renewal and one of my personal favorite living Saints.
It was as if a lightning bolt had hit me when he started his talk: opening with a treatise on Fatima (his area of expertise and one of the reasons he is so dear to me, as I have, in the last year, developed a profound devotion to Our Lady of Fatima and Our Lady of Akita precisely BECAUSE of the aforementioned word of knowledge I've received about our current events in God's plan and Mary's role in it.)
He and Father Groeschel are essentially two of my living heros of the faith. I pray for them daily and admire their work so greatly that to be in a room with him, let alone to hear him talk about one of my all-time favorite subjects, was just so good that I nearly left my body with the strength of the sensation of God's presence. This was no accident, and I felt the proverbial Love.
As he continued, he addressed Fatima and other apparitions in light of the proliferation of Communism and even Occult secret societies... which is precisely the kind of stuff I've been led to understand more deeply as far as their significance on the global playing field goes with regards to God's plan. (and amazingly, while the house should have been PACKED, he was speaking to no more than two dozen people who, while they seemed considerably excited to be basking in his presence didn't- I could tell from questions, comments and body language- have the foggiest notion what he was talking about, at least for the first half of his presentation.)
It was as if I was alone in a room hearing one of my favorite directors of souls speak directly to the very things which I was experiencing, understanding, and discerning. A TOTAL, perfect God-moment. When the baby regained her calm, I remained just long enough to hear him tell us that when we despaired of God's presence, of hope in his goodness, we had but spend a moment in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament to remember that in the Eucharist He is ALWAYS with us-- even til the end of the world. With tears in my eyes, I returned to my Carmelite formation, which ended up more incredible than I have the space to write here.
There is so much more to this story-- I could write an entire book on the incredible spiritual direction I received both through St John of the Cross' direction, the Rule of the Discalced Carmelite Order, obedience to my superiors and my husband, and especially this encounter with Fr Apostoli... but to do so would be futile here because you are not in my head and I cannot put most of it into words that would adequately describe the perfect beauty of the direction or the pure wisdom from which it was derived. Suffice to say that I have, in one day, said goodbye--- I hope forever--- to this passing world and the tools its current king is using to enslave us, and at the same time found so much joy and such a great treasure in the hidden solitude that is required of me in order to leave this world behind that I just might have passed into a new realm... one in which being a poor, busy, unseen, humbled mother is no longer the great cross that it might have seemed so often in my past, but rather a gift-- an opportunity to better fulfill my vocation to sacrifice myself with my Savior, out of love for my Savior, in order to give back to Him some of the love He has shown me, and for the salvation of sinners in danger of perishing at any given moment- in an instant-- at the sound of the Trumpets.
It feels like the turning of a page. Alleluia.
I have realized that basically, my sinfulness knows no bounds. Sigh.
This vanity of mine is so extraordinary that it literally has to be beaten out of me, inch my miserable inch in which it clings to me with a death-grip. I cry out "use me, Lord," but when the inevitable suffering which comes with that hits, for through it we are tried, I am questioning heaven and losing all hope, over and over again. Amazingly, some of our greatest Saints did so as well, and I am comforted by their stories.
To be a Carmelite is to be surrounded by that "great cloud of witnesses" (Hebrews 12:1-2)which becomes like family-- pushing and pulling you into sanctity with great love and much stern reprimand. It is beautiful. It is painful. It is like nothing else.
As St Paul says: The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. "You're trying to do this on your own power," is the refrain of my husband, who woefully points out to me over and over again that I must let God be God. I fall and I rise, sustained by prayer and work and the loving hand of my Savior who doesn't mind slowing down to teach me to tie my shoes and help me clean up my messes.
Over and over again in ministry I have prayed for people who have been individually touched by the forces of evil either deliberately or through a corporate conspiracy of other persons who have been affected by the Enemy of Light.
At times, it has seemed breathtaking to me to see just how deep the roots of evil go. Eventually, through discernment and prayer I became exposed to some of the factors at work in our modern world which provoke us to sin or which contribute to Satan's plan. When I was a spiritual infant, I worried about whether to have cable TV in the house, or whether it was more Godly to have a morning devotional or a nightly one, whether I should read the NASB or the NKJV, wear dresses or pants, dress my kids up for church or not, and other such prominent issues over which there have been written literally hundreds of books. These days, things have changed.
My "concerns" are, in theory (and when I let them be) far greater than anything I would have expected to worry about-- the state of individual priests or parishes, of nations and kingdoms, what type of survival training we should be teaching our kids that will be most helpful for the day of the Lord's wrath. And that sounds nuts to the average American who is worried about who will win American Idol or if they will get to see their beloved Lucifer on Lost (ahem--- see what I did there?)
As someone who deals with the forces of evil in a tangible way each day, I can say that the one thing I would walk away from this experience- the business of being "me"- knowing is that the WHOLE world is under the power of the evil one, that he truly IS the prince of the air, that he truly does have .great power he has invested into all of the things which we, today, consider "normal, daily life."
Likewise I would remember that he is patient and has a plan, that to him entire centuries are simply building blocks for his final attempt to win a war he has already lost... a war which contains a final battle which is far, far closer than we think it might be today.
One would think that the obtaining of that knowledge would complete my conversion, but instead it has simply put me into a state of alternating panic that I am still as much of a sinner as I ever was and a state of sheer, dropped-jaw amazement at the unraveling of world events, of HISstory as it is made.
This, then, is the perfect time for me to recognize two things: First, I was called to Carmel for a reason. Since the reception of the Scapular in my OCDS community, I have become keenly aware that my life is required in this larger game of Life. That when I gave my LIFE to Christ that night in 1997 I needed to understand that He just might take me up on it-- asking me to die a little bit each day but even possibly asking me to give it entirely in the end for Him. Persecution of Christianity, in this post-Christian age, my friends, is just beginning.
For a Carmelite sister who enters the convent, that sacrifice is obvious... she is no more in the world and in her place she leaves the souls of those who will be saved thanks to her prayer and sacrifice. Her reward will be great. My impression of a secular Carmelite, however, was not so "severe." But in the last year I have realized that that's EXACTLY what is required of me-- my WHOLE life and all of those things which our society deems "normal" in exchange for the souls on which I beg my Lord for mercy.
I've been struggling with this concept now for some time-- how can I be "in" the world and not "of" the world-- and I believe that God has finally given me clarity in that department for now...
By seeking counsel from older, wiser Carmelite women who have walked in my shoes I see now the true depth of meaning of being a consecrated soul-- one SET APART. And knowing what I do know with regards to the plans of the enemy, I am convinced that to anything less than to live out this vocation is insanity and plays straight into his hand... God has asked me to work and pray, and witness to His Truth in the World and that is all that I can respond with: my life.
One by one the Carmelite examples parade before me (God sometimes has to make things REALLY clear to me :P) of people who gave themselves wholly to His service and through it found that not only they but countless others had changed. But to do that, we have to trust him.
The recent developments in my understanding of news in light of biblical prophecy etc have caused me also to love the Blessed Mother with an even greater devotion. I see now how much we need her loving guidance and how faithfully she responds to the Love of the One who IS Love in helping us to turn towards Him that "none may perish, but all have eternal life." His patience with our sinful world wears thin, but out of love for us and for the woman he created to bear His Son, He allows her to teach us how to love Him more and better. I see why Satan used the protestant reformation -- the genius was that it was not only to attempt to divide and conquer the Church but to conquer the hearts of those who had not yet turned towards the Blessed Mother, because in creating a protestant sect which loathes and denigrates Mary whom God Himself has exalted he has taken away one of the best gifts God gave to His children-- His own Mother. I am thankful that God called me to the Order of Our Lady and none other, that it is under her faithful protection that I come to know and love Jesus more each day. I am thankful for the weapons of my warfare: the brown scapular and the Holy Rosary, which draw me nearer to His heart through hers.
I see now more than ever the importance of following the Pope, under whom the Church of God is shepherded safely. I see why Satan hates him with such rage and how the fury of hell beats against the hearts of the Holy Popes that have burned with love for Christ, ensuring the spiritual safety of their flock against the wolves. I understand the prayer of Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI when he became pope:
"Pray for me," he said,"That I may not flee for fear of the wolves."
Most importantly, I see the importance of growing daily in trust and love of my Father in Heaven and through Him of the situations I encounter in life. I have learned the futility of panic or anxiety-- and their satanic origins. The heart of my family trusts in Our Lord, and --God help me, though I may fall again- we hope to be an evangelical beacon to the world that we can TRUST in God, no matter what hell comes against us... and it has and will.
This is where the wisdom of Carmel comes in- a wisdom so great it has sustained mankind through the ages because it came from God: "It is not necessary to KNOW much, but to love much." -Teresa of Avila
Yes, all of this revelation has come to me through my prayer. No, I can not do a thing about it but love God and love others. All of the knowledge of all the satanic conspiracies of the universe amount to nothing if I do not love God and people enough to begin responding with prayer, for example.
This afternoon at Carmelites, my baby started cooing and chattering loudly during a class on Teresa of Avila. I stepped outside with her, inwardly groaning that I had to miss out on a portion of a talk which I found so relevant-- about how we were nearing the end of an era and that because of the signs of the times we should turn to Teresa with renewed zeal as we undertook the perfecting of our relationship with the Lord. A sure guide, Teresa taught prayer and a closer intimacy with Christ and people everywhere were changed. 500 years later, here I sit, affected by her relationship with God. Since each of us will have a special role that we must live out in God's plan, the directives straight from Rome for our Order was to re-read Teresa in light of our times and of our own personal journeys-- NOT FOR OURSELVES, not only for our own growths, but so we could then share with apostolic zeal how to do so for those who are in need. Time is short.
So I walked out of the room, totally upset that this relevant talk was going to be missed as I rocked a babbling baby in the hallway. The hallway at this Parish overlooks a giant meeting room, normally empty, where people were milling around eating snacks.
I rubbed my eyes with disbelief: right below me stood, in an unmistakeable long grey robe with a white cord, Father Andrew Apostoli,CFR a priest in the Fransiscan Friars of the Renewal and one of my personal favorite living Saints.
It was as if a lightning bolt had hit me when he started his talk: opening with a treatise on Fatima (his area of expertise and one of the reasons he is so dear to me, as I have, in the last year, developed a profound devotion to Our Lady of Fatima and Our Lady of Akita precisely BECAUSE of the aforementioned word of knowledge I've received about our current events in God's plan and Mary's role in it.)
He and Father Groeschel are essentially two of my living heros of the faith. I pray for them daily and admire their work so greatly that to be in a room with him, let alone to hear him talk about one of my all-time favorite subjects, was just so good that I nearly left my body with the strength of the sensation of God's presence. This was no accident, and I felt the proverbial Love.
As he continued, he addressed Fatima and other apparitions in light of the proliferation of Communism and even Occult secret societies... which is precisely the kind of stuff I've been led to understand more deeply as far as their significance on the global playing field goes with regards to God's plan. (and amazingly, while the house should have been PACKED, he was speaking to no more than two dozen people who, while they seemed considerably excited to be basking in his presence didn't- I could tell from questions, comments and body language- have the foggiest notion what he was talking about, at least for the first half of his presentation.)
It was as if I was alone in a room hearing one of my favorite directors of souls speak directly to the very things which I was experiencing, understanding, and discerning. A TOTAL, perfect God-moment. When the baby regained her calm, I remained just long enough to hear him tell us that when we despaired of God's presence, of hope in his goodness, we had but spend a moment in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament to remember that in the Eucharist He is ALWAYS with us-- even til the end of the world. With tears in my eyes, I returned to my Carmelite formation, which ended up more incredible than I have the space to write here.
There is so much more to this story-- I could write an entire book on the incredible spiritual direction I received both through St John of the Cross' direction, the Rule of the Discalced Carmelite Order, obedience to my superiors and my husband, and especially this encounter with Fr Apostoli... but to do so would be futile here because you are not in my head and I cannot put most of it into words that would adequately describe the perfect beauty of the direction or the pure wisdom from which it was derived. Suffice to say that I have, in one day, said goodbye--- I hope forever--- to this passing world and the tools its current king is using to enslave us, and at the same time found so much joy and such a great treasure in the hidden solitude that is required of me in order to leave this world behind that I just might have passed into a new realm... one in which being a poor, busy, unseen, humbled mother is no longer the great cross that it might have seemed so often in my past, but rather a gift-- an opportunity to better fulfill my vocation to sacrifice myself with my Savior, out of love for my Savior, in order to give back to Him some of the love He has shown me, and for the salvation of sinners in danger of perishing at any given moment- in an instant-- at the sound of the Trumpets.
It feels like the turning of a page. Alleluia.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Turning thirty today
Been having the proverbial mid-midlife crisis a bit, trying to wrap my head around turning thirty. And I am finding it quite amazing that though it SOUNDS old and kinda terrifies me, it actually FEELS pretty darn good.
I've done more things in my thirty years than most of the people I meet. Some of the things I want to reflect on follow:
1. Growing up in Santa Barbara, CA was only "normal" insofar as it was a common experience to other Santa Barbarans. The experience, though, is far from average. Most of the kids I've since encountered ( and Fayetteville ain't called the All-American City for nothing) have never seen, done, or heard of many of the things which make "a Santa Barbara life." Santa Barbara is a place where sex, drugs, music, dreams, a gourmet palate, entertainment, the New Age, celebrities, money and excess are the standard. Even for the poor of the City. It is profoundly Luciferian at it's core, and that's because it is a place of convergence between wealth, indulgence, false religion, drug use, and the world of music and movies. And its greatest deception lies in it's absolutely magical beauty and pleasure-filled atmosphere. It is a pure miracle that I, a product of that environment, am still alive. I have had -since I turned twelve- at least one friend or acquaintance a year lose his life through drug use, alcohol use, or suicide. When I meditate on this fact, I am filled with awe that though I have taken all the same risks over and over, I am still here. By God's grace alone have I made it to 30. To acknowledge this is to acknowledge my great debt. Money, and materialism has had a profound influence on me... To the point where I don't like to visit so as not to get stuck in my old "spoiled" habits again.
The irony of the poor Franciscan monks who bring the Catholic Faith to these people everyday and of the barefoot Poor Clares who offer themselves wholly to save their souls is not lost on me. I thank God my Children will not grow up there, and at the same time I thank God for having grown me there, for it molded me and primed me to understand my need for Him.
2. Growing up bi-cultural has been an enormous gift. If only because today, as one who is unable to travel the globe nonchalantly, I can see what a great blessing it has been in terms of opening me up towards others and helping me to understand that their experience of life is not my own. I thank God for Christianity, for through it I have learned that travel can happen anywhere...that I need only go within to my memories or experiences and I am right there in my grandmother's kitchen again, enjoying the best parts of being "over there."
3. I have only two regrets, but they are heavy. I regret the times I did not love God more and the times I did not love others more.
Those times that I did not love God enough to realize my body is His temple stand out. Drug use and unchastity stand out... And I regret those times because I am still carrying in myself today the particular consequences of those sins. Somewhere out there men, women and demons carry little pieces of my soul, and no matter what I do to claim it back God lets them keep it as a reminder of the brokenness sin causes. Even my body suffers. Which is why nothing could be sweeter to me than the words of my Savior: "Behold, I make all things new."
My other regret is the way that I have treated the men who have loved me and the women I stepped on to get them to.
I have broken hearts, and though God has forgiven me because He knows my contrition, I have never discovered any indication that these particular people have, although I have sought it. Had I fully understood the human dignity which they bear, I would have never dreamed of treating them the way I did. And for what? For the pursuit of my own pride, amusement and advancement. That shame and guilt is a perpetual reminder that sin breaks people's hearts. And while it is no longer "too much" to bear, God allows me the memory and consequences of it that I might never sin again. Incredibly, I still do.
If there was one "wish" I might have then, it is to have a heart to heart with these people and to say: "I am sorry it took me so long to realize the incredible dignity which God has given you." I thank God that is one mistake I will not make again.
Today, as I turn thirty, I wish to extend an invitation to all my readers to turn to God in His mercy. The Gospel is True. This world and
it's systems are passing so quickly, but only one thing will stand forever- a right relationship with Jesus Christ.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch, forgive any mistakes :p
I've done more things in my thirty years than most of the people I meet. Some of the things I want to reflect on follow:
1. Growing up in Santa Barbara, CA was only "normal" insofar as it was a common experience to other Santa Barbarans. The experience, though, is far from average. Most of the kids I've since encountered ( and Fayetteville ain't called the All-American City for nothing) have never seen, done, or heard of many of the things which make "a Santa Barbara life." Santa Barbara is a place where sex, drugs, music, dreams, a gourmet palate, entertainment, the New Age, celebrities, money and excess are the standard. Even for the poor of the City. It is profoundly Luciferian at it's core, and that's because it is a place of convergence between wealth, indulgence, false religion, drug use, and the world of music and movies. And its greatest deception lies in it's absolutely magical beauty and pleasure-filled atmosphere. It is a pure miracle that I, a product of that environment, am still alive. I have had -since I turned twelve- at least one friend or acquaintance a year lose his life through drug use, alcohol use, or suicide. When I meditate on this fact, I am filled with awe that though I have taken all the same risks over and over, I am still here. By God's grace alone have I made it to 30. To acknowledge this is to acknowledge my great debt. Money, and materialism has had a profound influence on me... To the point where I don't like to visit so as not to get stuck in my old "spoiled" habits again.
The irony of the poor Franciscan monks who bring the Catholic Faith to these people everyday and of the barefoot Poor Clares who offer themselves wholly to save their souls is not lost on me. I thank God my Children will not grow up there, and at the same time I thank God for having grown me there, for it molded me and primed me to understand my need for Him.
2. Growing up bi-cultural has been an enormous gift. If only because today, as one who is unable to travel the globe nonchalantly, I can see what a great blessing it has been in terms of opening me up towards others and helping me to understand that their experience of life is not my own. I thank God for Christianity, for through it I have learned that travel can happen anywhere...that I need only go within to my memories or experiences and I am right there in my grandmother's kitchen again, enjoying the best parts of being "over there."
3. I have only two regrets, but they are heavy. I regret the times I did not love God more and the times I did not love others more.
Those times that I did not love God enough to realize my body is His temple stand out. Drug use and unchastity stand out... And I regret those times because I am still carrying in myself today the particular consequences of those sins. Somewhere out there men, women and demons carry little pieces of my soul, and no matter what I do to claim it back God lets them keep it as a reminder of the brokenness sin causes. Even my body suffers. Which is why nothing could be sweeter to me than the words of my Savior: "Behold, I make all things new."
My other regret is the way that I have treated the men who have loved me and the women I stepped on to get them to.
I have broken hearts, and though God has forgiven me because He knows my contrition, I have never discovered any indication that these particular people have, although I have sought it. Had I fully understood the human dignity which they bear, I would have never dreamed of treating them the way I did. And for what? For the pursuit of my own pride, amusement and advancement. That shame and guilt is a perpetual reminder that sin breaks people's hearts. And while it is no longer "too much" to bear, God allows me the memory and consequences of it that I might never sin again. Incredibly, I still do.
If there was one "wish" I might have then, it is to have a heart to heart with these people and to say: "I am sorry it took me so long to realize the incredible dignity which God has given you." I thank God that is one mistake I will not make again.
Today, as I turn thirty, I wish to extend an invitation to all my readers to turn to God in His mercy. The Gospel is True. This world and
it's systems are passing so quickly, but only one thing will stand forever- a right relationship with Jesus Christ.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch, forgive any mistakes :p
Monday, April 19, 2010
Riches of this world
"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square hole. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
— Apple Computer Inc.
Is it a coincidence that apple is called "apple" and it's symbol is an apple with a bite taken out of it? (if you're slow, I'm referencing adam and eve and original sin.)
As I delve deeper and deeper into demonology, I'm finding more and more connections these days between the riches of this world (and some of the largest corporations we take for granted as being "success stories") and the Original lie of Satan.... amazing finds that change the way that I look at the world and my place in it.
"Success" is no longer something I am interested in. Holiness is. But how to get there without getting sidetracked or sucked in by the mindboggling amount of evil that is revealed to me more and more in the world?
I'm not making a statement for or against Apple. I myself use Apple products.
I'm pointing out that the deeper we look to see what Satan's plan has been for all of history, we see the same work, over and over and over again.
It is packaged differently, it is so subtle in so many places... but it's undeniable that there are "biblical" connections and connotations everywhere in the tangible world we live and breathe. It's up to us to discern the times.
I have given tangible proof in the past that a flat out ton of rock musicians from the fifties, sixties and seventies were demonized and used their music to reach the masses with a Satanic message. ... See More
I don't know a single teenager who owns one who doesn't "rock out" to their ipod all day and night. Apple makes some of the most incredible modern media available to young people and accessible to everyone. What is modern media? What are popular movies, music, websites bringing? What is the number one use of Computers in america today? Apple is called Apple, and uses undeniably biblical imagery as its logo. Facts.
Are these things connected? Maybe we'll never know. It's just interesting to me that I will never, never look at the world the same way again. I will always be wondering... "Who does this serve?"
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
--Jesus.
— Apple Computer Inc.
Is it a coincidence that apple is called "apple" and it's symbol is an apple with a bite taken out of it? (if you're slow, I'm referencing adam and eve and original sin.)
As I delve deeper and deeper into demonology, I'm finding more and more connections these days between the riches of this world (and some of the largest corporations we take for granted as being "success stories") and the Original lie of Satan.... amazing finds that change the way that I look at the world and my place in it.
"Success" is no longer something I am interested in. Holiness is. But how to get there without getting sidetracked or sucked in by the mindboggling amount of evil that is revealed to me more and more in the world?
I'm not making a statement for or against Apple. I myself use Apple products.
I'm pointing out that the deeper we look to see what Satan's plan has been for all of history, we see the same work, over and over and over again.
It is packaged differently, it is so subtle in so many places... but it's undeniable that there are "biblical" connections and connotations everywhere in the tangible world we live and breathe. It's up to us to discern the times.
I have given tangible proof in the past that a flat out ton of rock musicians from the fifties, sixties and seventies were demonized and used their music to reach the masses with a Satanic message. ... See More
I don't know a single teenager who owns one who doesn't "rock out" to their ipod all day and night. Apple makes some of the most incredible modern media available to young people and accessible to everyone. What is modern media? What are popular movies, music, websites bringing? What is the number one use of Computers in america today? Apple is called Apple, and uses undeniably biblical imagery as its logo. Facts.
Are these things connected? Maybe we'll never know. It's just interesting to me that I will never, never look at the world the same way again. I will always be wondering... "Who does this serve?"
It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
--Jesus.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Pope Benedict XVI : "Evil never has the last word."
Pope Benedict's speech to the Papal Foundation
Dear Friends,
I am pleased to greet the members of The Papal Foundation on the occasion of your annual pilgrimage to Rome. Our meeting is pervaded by the joy of this Easter season, as the Church celebrates the Lord’s glorious victory over death and his gift of new life in the Holy Spirit.
A year ago I had the grace of visiting the Holy Land and praying before the Lord’s empty tomb. There, echoing the witness of the Apostle Peter, I proclaimed that Christ, by rising to new life, has taught us “that evil never has the last word, that love is stronger than death, and that our future, and the future of all humanity, lies in the hands of a faithful and provident God” (Address at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, 15 May 2009). In every time and place, the Church is called to proclaim this message of hope and to confirm its truth by her practical witness of holiness and charity. The Papal Foundation has advanced this mission in a particular way by supporting a broad spectrum of charities close to the heart of the Successor of Peter. I thank you for your generous efforts to offer assistance to our brothers and sisters in developing countries, to provide for the education of the Church’s future leaders, and to advance the missionary endeavors of so many dioceses and religious congregations throughout the world.
In these days I ask you to pray for the needs of the universal Church and to implore a renewed outpouring of the Spirit’s gifts of holiness, unity and missionary zeal upon the whole People of God. With great affection I commend you and your families to the loving intercession of Mary, Mother of the Church, and cordially impart my Apostolic Blessing as a pledge of joy and peace in Jesus our Risen Lord.
full text here:
http://www.oecumene.radiovaticana.org/en1/Articolo.asp?c=372789
Dear Friends,
I am pleased to greet the members of The Papal Foundation on the occasion of your annual pilgrimage to Rome. Our meeting is pervaded by the joy of this Easter season, as the Church celebrates the Lord’s glorious victory over death and his gift of new life in the Holy Spirit.
A year ago I had the grace of visiting the Holy Land and praying before the Lord’s empty tomb. There, echoing the witness of the Apostle Peter, I proclaimed that Christ, by rising to new life, has taught us “that evil never has the last word, that love is stronger than death, and that our future, and the future of all humanity, lies in the hands of a faithful and provident God” (Address at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, 15 May 2009). In every time and place, the Church is called to proclaim this message of hope and to confirm its truth by her practical witness of holiness and charity. The Papal Foundation has advanced this mission in a particular way by supporting a broad spectrum of charities close to the heart of the Successor of Peter. I thank you for your generous efforts to offer assistance to our brothers and sisters in developing countries, to provide for the education of the Church’s future leaders, and to advance the missionary endeavors of so many dioceses and religious congregations throughout the world.
In these days I ask you to pray for the needs of the universal Church and to implore a renewed outpouring of the Spirit’s gifts of holiness, unity and missionary zeal upon the whole People of God. With great affection I commend you and your families to the loving intercession of Mary, Mother of the Church, and cordially impart my Apostolic Blessing as a pledge of joy and peace in Jesus our Risen Lord.
full text here:
http://www.oecumene.radiovaticana.org/en1/Articolo.asp?c=372789
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Two traddy missals: a review of the Baronius Press and Angelus Press Missals
Note: I will be posting pictures tomorrow to go along with this blog post.
I thought I would do a quick review of the two most popular available 1962 Catholic Missals: The Baronius Press Roman Catholic Daily Missal and the Angelus Press Roman Catholic Daily Missal. Being more convinced now than ever before that the full glory of the Mass is present in a very special way in the Traditional mass and knowing the power that Roman Catholic Tradition which is so rapidly being lost holds over the Enemy of our Souls, I can not recommend more strongly that you unite your prayers to the prayers of the Holy Tridentine Mass, beginning by reading the days readings and traditional prayers from a solid, dependable, accurate Catholic Missal.
In shopping for a missal, know that you can find many fabulous and perfectly acceptable versions in many different places-- ebay, craigslist, used bookstores, etc. However, if you have a book fetish, like me, you will want a brand spanking new copy of a great, solid edition that you can make old all by yourself. The only such missals available on the market today that I think rival each other in their modern take on the 1962 Missal are the Baronius and Angelus Press versions.
First, the outsides. (Because I love a pretty book! :P)
The Baronius Press version is thicker and the Angelus Press version is wider. I think if I was planning on carrying them around in my purse all the time I would want the Angelus Press because it is much less "bulky." However as a person who loves thick leather books, the Baronius version appeals to me very much.
The leather (I have the genuine leather version of both) is top quality in both-- the Baronius Version has a slightly thicker/harder cover which makes it bend less easily in the hand. Both have nice gold foil edging and are perfectly beautiful, end papers and all. Both use good quality, relatively small bleed-through bible paper. Physically, the only reason I prefer the Angelus Press version is because of its' innate ability to conform to my hand when I flip through it. I like books that wear well and quickly, and while both versions do the trick, the Baronius Press version is a bit more like a hardback with a slightly flexible cover, whereas the best way I can describe the Angelus version is like a paperback with a tough leather cover. I am quite sure that the quality of each of these books will impress you-- they are very, very well made. One last point: the ribbons. While they both have ribbons, the Baronius uses a kind of woven ribbon vs the Angelus' satin ribbons. I personally like the satin ribbons better but both are very good quality and sewn in a sturdy manner that has thusfar withheld even the strongest pulls by my toddlers.
And now, the good stuff:
I was certain I was going to miss the traditional artwork in the Baronius Press version when I saw the Angelus Press version for the first time-- but much to my amazement they contain the same, identical pictures. They are crisp, clear, and very interesting-- rich in catechesis. There are not many of them.
The core contents itself is virtually identical in both missals...All the masses of the year, the Order of Mass, and a significant amount of Traditional prayers and devotions.
These are very basic but thorough enough to keep the average housewife (hehe) praying throughout the day: Morning prayers, daytime prayers, evening prayers, the Rosary, various litanies, etc. I find incredible that these missals both have a section that catechizes and gives us the "why" behind the "what we do" both during the liturgy and in our daily lives. There is much food here for mental prayer.
It's also depressing/ appalling how different things are in this post vatican II world... how much we have lost in our daily Catholic lives, even if we are devout.
Both Missals are in a two column format with English and Latin.
Anyways, I highly recommend both missals, and I cannot say enough about them. My favorite of the two is the Angelus Press version and it is for one very simple reason.... My interest in demonology and my musings on the state of the Church etc has led my husband and myself to be devoted in a particular way to Pope Leo XIII and to be big fans of some of his prayers. The Angelus Press version contains the full text of the Simple Exorcism which he wrote and various other prayers that are extremely useful in the Spiritual Battle and which can be used in a deliverance.
It is fabulous having these prayers and blessings available in the back of the Missal, as I no longer have to carry a separate book around with me that includes them. Wonderful.
In short..... whichever you choose, I am certain you will enjoy it, and I wish you the best in your intention to pray the Traditional Latin Mass.
I thought I would do a quick review of the two most popular available 1962 Catholic Missals: The Baronius Press Roman Catholic Daily Missal and the Angelus Press Roman Catholic Daily Missal. Being more convinced now than ever before that the full glory of the Mass is present in a very special way in the Traditional mass and knowing the power that Roman Catholic Tradition which is so rapidly being lost holds over the Enemy of our Souls, I can not recommend more strongly that you unite your prayers to the prayers of the Holy Tridentine Mass, beginning by reading the days readings and traditional prayers from a solid, dependable, accurate Catholic Missal.
In shopping for a missal, know that you can find many fabulous and perfectly acceptable versions in many different places-- ebay, craigslist, used bookstores, etc. However, if you have a book fetish, like me, you will want a brand spanking new copy of a great, solid edition that you can make old all by yourself. The only such missals available on the market today that I think rival each other in their modern take on the 1962 Missal are the Baronius and Angelus Press versions.
First, the outsides. (Because I love a pretty book! :P)
The Baronius Press version is thicker and the Angelus Press version is wider. I think if I was planning on carrying them around in my purse all the time I would want the Angelus Press because it is much less "bulky." However as a person who loves thick leather books, the Baronius version appeals to me very much.
The leather (I have the genuine leather version of both) is top quality in both-- the Baronius Version has a slightly thicker/harder cover which makes it bend less easily in the hand. Both have nice gold foil edging and are perfectly beautiful, end papers and all. Both use good quality, relatively small bleed-through bible paper. Physically, the only reason I prefer the Angelus Press version is because of its' innate ability to conform to my hand when I flip through it. I like books that wear well and quickly, and while both versions do the trick, the Baronius Press version is a bit more like a hardback with a slightly flexible cover, whereas the best way I can describe the Angelus version is like a paperback with a tough leather cover. I am quite sure that the quality of each of these books will impress you-- they are very, very well made. One last point: the ribbons. While they both have ribbons, the Baronius uses a kind of woven ribbon vs the Angelus' satin ribbons. I personally like the satin ribbons better but both are very good quality and sewn in a sturdy manner that has thusfar withheld even the strongest pulls by my toddlers.
And now, the good stuff:
I was certain I was going to miss the traditional artwork in the Baronius Press version when I saw the Angelus Press version for the first time-- but much to my amazement they contain the same, identical pictures. They are crisp, clear, and very interesting-- rich in catechesis. There are not many of them.
The core contents itself is virtually identical in both missals...All the masses of the year, the Order of Mass, and a significant amount of Traditional prayers and devotions.
These are very basic but thorough enough to keep the average housewife (hehe) praying throughout the day: Morning prayers, daytime prayers, evening prayers, the Rosary, various litanies, etc. I find incredible that these missals both have a section that catechizes and gives us the "why" behind the "what we do" both during the liturgy and in our daily lives. There is much food here for mental prayer.
It's also depressing/ appalling how different things are in this post vatican II world... how much we have lost in our daily Catholic lives, even if we are devout.
Both Missals are in a two column format with English and Latin.
Anyways, I highly recommend both missals, and I cannot say enough about them. My favorite of the two is the Angelus Press version and it is for one very simple reason.... My interest in demonology and my musings on the state of the Church etc has led my husband and myself to be devoted in a particular way to Pope Leo XIII and to be big fans of some of his prayers. The Angelus Press version contains the full text of the Simple Exorcism which he wrote and various other prayers that are extremely useful in the Spiritual Battle and which can be used in a deliverance.
It is fabulous having these prayers and blessings available in the back of the Missal, as I no longer have to carry a separate book around with me that includes them. Wonderful.
In short..... whichever you choose, I am certain you will enjoy it, and I wish you the best in your intention to pray the Traditional Latin Mass.
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