The Gay Thing.

I'm writing this blog for my dearest Amanda, who shocked the heck out of me tonight by proclaiming not once, but twice, that pastors should be prevented from preaching that homosexuality is wrong, and that their churches should be shut down, as they are proclaiming hate speech, which is illegal in this country.
Whew. There are so many things wrong with that line of thinking I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts in line, but let's start here:

Homosexuality, as a whole, as an issue, is about PEOPLE. The concern, I'm certain, that persons like Amanda experience when hearing that we are proclaiming in churches that being gay is wrong is that we are vilifying people. And she might be totally shocked and surprised to know that I'm actually in agreement there.

The Roman Catholic Church, in all her wisdom (hehe) has defined the issue in a manner that I am quite certain most protestants and evangelicals have never considered, and I would like to share it here.

When we say "homosexuality," in Roman Catholic Churches, we are talking about the physical homosexual act-- an action in which two persons who are the same sex engage in sexual behavior. THIS is what we preach against, teach against, and warn against. THIS is what priests expect to hear in the confessional and what makes us avert our eyes in shock.

What "homosexuality" as a term used to define a sin does NOT encompass is what we Catholics call SSA. Same Sex Attraction. The Church teaches that there is NO SIN... I repeat, NOT a sin, to be found in the "natural" inclination that some persons have to attraction towards another person of a similar sex. Persons with SSA, like ALL people, should be treated equally, respectfully, and in a manner which fully honors their inherent human dignity. Persons with SSA should do exactly what is required for people withOUT SSA..... look for ways to live a chaste life.

As a married woman, I am just as called to chastity as a person with SSA might be. Chastity is not excused for heterosexuals. Chastity is an evangelical counsel, something which is required in order to become "perfect," (as our heavenly Father is perfect.) Spending some time getting to know the idea of "Evangelical counsels" would be very beneficial here.
It is NOT required of all people. Chastity is not binding to all men, nor is it binding to all believers. Chastity, like it's brothers poverty and obedience, is required only of those who wish to be "perfect."

Me? I certainly wish to become perfect. As a part of my calling as a Catholic, a Wife, and a Carmelite, I have made Poverty, Chastity, and Obedience a goal and purpose. But that's me. I live a consecrated life.
All other believers (and indeed, nonbelievers!) are CALLED to be consecrated to the Lord, but that doesn't mean that they all will respond to that calling.
I certainly don't expect everyone on the planet to wake up one morning saying "gee, poverty, chastity, and obedience! Sounds great! Sign me up!"

Because of this, I cannot in good conscience "force" anyone to accept that the performance of homosexual actions will injure or harm their soul. Of this, the Church is fully aware. Our job is to be OPEN to people with SSA in such a way that they might feel welcome and loved in our community, not rejected, not marginalized, not loathed. Likewise, our job is to take a firm stance against anything which might project the image or idea that taking those sexual actions of homosexuality will result in anything good, or noble, or honorable. This does NOT negate the nobility or honor of the person with SSA, but rather affirms that this person is special in God's eyes and is loved, for "whom the Lord loves, He disciplines."

In our church, for example, there is a person who attends mass each week in drag. This person comes and is welcomed into the community. At the sign of the peace, this person is hugged, and handshaked, and given the "kiss of peace." BUT this person, because of his actions, must willingly submit to the Church's decision that he shall not recieve communion until he has come to terms with his call to chastity. Pursuing a life in drag, for this person, means blending gender and furthering the cause of other persons who also dress in drag because of SSA. This person may not even be HAVING a homosexual relationship, but the very nature of his attire tells us that he is still seeking to somehow identify with persons who commit these acts, and because of that idenitifcation, he must wait until he himself is ready to identify with Christ and His Church alone.

These things are not said or done to demean a person or diminish their human worth. Christianity welcomes the sinner and asks that room be made for any who would come to the table. But we cannot be saved if we do not first repent--- recognizing that we actually NEED a savior because of our sin. We cannot be filled if we do not first come empty.

Each and every person, Straight, or SSA, seated in our pews daily must come to this realization on their own. The Church welcomes those who are still journeying towards this realization--- after all, we are a pilgrim church.

Nevertheless, we must take care not to give the impression that we are like the Athenians Paul was so horrified by on his missions trip--- where absolutely anything goes.

In this issue, like many of the "hotbed" political issues facing the Church today, we must take care to remember that we are here for PEOPLE, not machines, not objects, not THINGS which we can simply place in this pile or that pile and move on with our lives.
I remember a day not long ago when I was waiting in line for the confessional. A hispanic girl in short jean shorts and the lowest cut top I'd ever seen walked into the Church actually carrying a starbucks cup. She swayed seductively up to the cross and passed the altar and tabernacle without a hint of reverence. She popped her gum and lifted her sunglasses atop her head. The beautiful silence of the sanctuary where I was praying with my covered head was interrupted by the echoing, loud clickety clack of her platform heels. And my inital response, I'll admit, was to snort and judge. Who in the heck did she think she was profaning my sacred moment like that? But the Lord quickly showed me the darkness of my heart as the girl lit a candle and began to pray earnestly. He gave me a Word of Knowledge about her...... that allowed me to see that this was the first time in a long time that she had a need that had brought her to a Church. And who would I be? The welcoming, smiling person she encountered on her way out who reminded her that we were happy she was here? Or the person who sneered and judged. Lord, let me always be a welcoming light.

So what of the same-sex couple who persists in coming to church, day in and day out, for years on end? Many Christians would say that these persons should eventually be ostracized-- after all, they've been "exposed to the truth" and persist in their sin, right? But the Catholic Church has a different response. As long as this couple lives, it is our duty to smile the smile of welcome, day in, and day out, and to open our doors. It is our duty to love, to serve, and to honor these beautiful, precious people in whom we should see the face of Jesus.
This couple may not be able to recieve our Lord because the pre-requisite repentance has not been reached, but this couple should be always made to feel at home in the pews of our Parishes.

You see, preaching against homosexuality doesn't mean that we think people are objects, machines, or things. It certainly wouldn't create a culture of hate crimes or danger for these precious souls. It creates an environment in which thoughtful dialogue, both internal and external, should be reached. It creates a safe space where these moral issues can be discussed far from fear of anger or retaliation or judgement or disgust. Most of all, it creates an avenue for God to move hearts more towards love and more towards kindness and compassion.... because both heterosexuals and persons with SSA will encounter in our Churches a God who loved them more than they even love themselves and each other. And THAT is what this is all about.