The Gay Thing, Pt 2: Judgement DaY

A good friend of mine on myspace, Dover, posted a great question as a response to my "The Gay Thing" blog (which I post both on blogspot and myspace) It was such an excellent question that I thought it deserved a blog all its own. He said:

I really agree with what you're saying here. I have to give the RCC props for this wisdom. They've definetly beat most of the other churches in this area. But I did have one question.


What about in the Bible where it talked about if a christian was found in sin that they where to be confronted in private. But if they didn't repent then you where to take an elder and witness and then confront them, and if they still didn't repent you where supposed to bring it before the whole church...

SO..... I agree that we should extend grace and love and welcome to all peoples, but with Alcoholics and people practicing homosexuality, what about that above verse? about confronting them? I mean... yeah... it's complicated.


There are so many things I like about this question it's hard to know where to begin. Let me start by saying that this is one of the greatest differences I've encountered since my return to the Church of Rome. And it's no small issue. As a protestant, it was ingrained in me that other people's souls' were somehow my responsibility. That evangelical urge played itself out in many ways--- in never letting an opportunity to share the gospel slip past, in the way I dealt with issues of sin in my house and in my relationships.

If you'll recall, on the fourth of July last year I was enjoying the fireworks on post in a beautiful, all-american, military-pride kind of setting, and I found myself confronted with this difference full force. The people one house down from our BBQ had invited their whole church to a big tent they put up, and our whole group was Catholics. There were little differences... like, we had beer, and they didn't, but there were big differences too. As I chased my toddlers around the grass I overheard conversation after conversation that rubbed me the wrong way... where one person was basically telling another person "hey brother, you're in sin there," and the other would say "yeah, man, you're right." But it would be over something totally trivial. One guy was "confronted" because he had come over to our house and asked us for a beer. of course, he got railed on because he was supposed to be witnessing to US, the unsaved Catholics, but instead he was taking OUR hospitality and, woe is him, actually having alcohol.
Another conversation was about how unsaved Catholics are and what a shame it was. They were basically sitting there watching us have our gathering and thinking to themselves "Man, it stinks that those people are going to hell and they're just sitting there grilling Tri-Tip."
The thing about it was... they didn't know us from adam or eve. They had NO CLUE if we were going to heaven or not, they just made this immediate assumption based on this fact: The group next door is Catholic.

Now, don't get me wrong.. I've been there. But my stance now is this: If it doesn't look good, I'm not going to get anywhere with someone by doing anything other than pointing the way I know will get to heaven. In other words, instead of worrying about who is wrong all the time, how about we just show people what is right?

Those types of conversations reminded me (since I hadn't really been around protestants for a few months) of that element of constantly being ON each other, holding each other accountable, etc. Catholics REALLY don't do that.

When a Catholic looks around and sees someone is in some serious sin, they do one of three things (or all three!)
If the person is in any kind of leadership position (from teaching catechism to being an extraordinary Eucharistic minister) they make sure to let the priest know they noticed and don't like it. In other words, they ensure that those in roles of leadership/high visibility are living honorable lives, period.
The second thing they will do is light a candle for them or pray a rosary for them. And yes, sometimes, talk amongst themselves about it, although I'm sure they go to confession if they do! (GUILTY! :P)What a difference from how I felt as a protestant, constantly under the scrutiny of multiple watchful eyes. I remember the day I quit smoking. I looked back on the YEARS of hiding my cigarettes, my breath, my ashtrays, that I did so that my protestant friends wouldn't bug me about it. Would my smoking time have been shortened if people just allowed me to be who I was and grow without being stifled? Would I have opened up more, shared more, been more challenged? I don't know. What I do know is that I learned in that time that even though I can hide things from PEOPLE, God still knows what I'm doing. And that was a good lesson. However, consider this:

The number one reason why people polled by evangelicals say they choose to be unchurched is because, and I quote, "Christians are hypocrites." In other words, we say one thing and do another. And how true is that??? Protestant churches tend to look like cookie cutter images of "perfect" people. When you set foot inside one, you get kind of blown away by the "beautiful people." Not so of Catholic environments, in which you look around and see a big, heartbreaking, beautiful mess.


My general feeling is that in Catholic Circles, people worry about their own souls and pray for others, whereas in Protestant Circles, people worry about other people's souls and pray for themselves. This is a generalization, of course, but it's just this sense I get from having experienced both---- I know that one of the most attractive things for me about returning to the Catholic Church was that I was going to have the ability once again to be a "face in a pew" that no one could talk about, look at, or judge. Just a person. On a journey. That other people didn't get to determine for me.

Now there is a fine line here that can not be crossed. Scripture says that it is GOOD for us to fellowship, that it is GOOD for there to be two or three witnesses, a multitude of counselors, etc. But it's that sense of having spiritual advice forced on you at all turns that chokes the life out of you. My whole ordeal with my husband and our family's personal journey, into California, our of California... man. That was a great example. We couldn't be "sent out" because no one in our immediate community of believers wanted us to leave. The people in California, of course, were super excited. But when we got to California and realized that God had us there for a different reason than we had initially thought and that we HEAVILY doctrinally disagreed with the Church we had come out there to help in the first place, THAT Church wouldn't send us back out, because they wanted us to stay. And yet, all the while, God was working, and people were attempting to stand in His way. The World DOES need to know the Lord. the world DOES need to hear from God. But the evangelical "prototype" of using a megaphone in crowds and individually addressing each member of the community with their personal sin is just sooo... bleh.
Does this mean that if your sister or brother is in sin you shouldn't address it?? Of course you should. But take first the LOG out of your own eye before you worry about the splinter in your brother's. See what I mean?

The other part of that is that we (Catholics) have something that other Christians don't have: unity in the faith. We have apostolic authority. Every night, before we go to sleep, we do what's called an "examination of conscience." We ask ourselves (and God!) to show us where we have sinned and in what ways our conscience is telling us that we have offended God and our neighbor, and those are the things which we bring to the confessional. Because we go to the confessional, we can be assured that the spiritual direction we receive from our priest, who is our representative of apostolic authority and who does, says, and represents the EXACT same faith (down the minute details) as all other priests and bishops around the entire world, will guide us not in his personal direction but in the direction of sanctity. In other words, Catholics all believe the same exact things. There are no dissensions in the ranks of Catholics. And those who do not are simply removing themselves from the Church of their own accord.
Because of this unity in the faith, we don't HAVE to hammer other people. We can ALL point to the place in the catechism where it says X, Y, or Z about how to live one's life. So we can ALL grow personally, individually, and collectively by adhering to the Word of God as it has been revealed to the apostles and continues to be. Because of this, there are no disagreements. And because there are no disagreeements, we don't have to give people a hard time.

How this plays out with the homosexuality issue is that we KNOW, from the Bible, and from Sacred Tradition, that homosexuality is wrong. It is not a debatable issue, it is not something that we can pick and choose about, and there are no uncertain terms. All Catholic persons are required to believe this, and all members of the Magesterium are required to continue to teach this. It simply IS.
Because of that fact, we don't need to eternally pound on people about it. If they should happen to come to a place in their lives where they question this teaching, then they can be directed to any number of passages in scripture and in the catechism that reflect these teachings. They are then faced with a choice: either they buy it or not. The result of NOT buying it is tangible in our Church in the sense that those who are not in union with the teachings of the Church are not to receive our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

We teach straight from the Bible, that those who receive communion who are living in sin are reaping condemnation onto themselves. Thus the practicing homosexual (just as, for example, the person who is taking Birth Control) who receives communion is, in essence, condemning themselves. Our job is to protect people from doing so--- we refuse communion from non Catholics and non-practicing Catholics not to protect Our LORD, but to protect THEM.

Because there are two parts to the Mass, we must then acknowledge that there is no scandal whatsoever in the welcoming of the all people to hear the word of God proclaimed. Even persons who are excommunicated may hear the Word of God-- and should!
In the Latin Mass, the community then made a differentiation-- only those who could RECIEVE the Lord should remain for the second portion, which is the Eucharistic Feast. There was the mass of the catechumens, and the mass of the faithful.
Now, in the Novus Ordo, we just keep on truckin'.... and persons who wish to remain may remain, although they are asked in no uncertain terms not to receive the Host.

I've been in Protestant Churches where we "put people out" from the fellowship because of continued sin. And it always sat wrong with me. But the reason it did wasn't clear until I returned to the Catholic Church. If we don't allow people to hear the Word of God proclaimed, how will their hearts be changed?
Preventing people from receiving the Eucharist is a whole different story. I wasn't able to receive the day I believed, and that waiting nearly killed me. It was in that waiting that I re-examined myself and my life and heard from God and was able to make the necessary changes. It was in that waiting that I did my best growing. And now, it's as I wait each day, hoping I'll be able to receive the next day, that I do my best growing.

So what should you do about that gay couple that comes to church, day in and day out? the answer is simple. Love them. Lead them to Our Lord... and let them know what a sweet, sweet taste He has.