Showing posts with label Modesty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Modesty. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Instruction in women's attire from the early Church



What follows is a selection of quotes from early fathers on veiling and women's attire. I'll let them speak for themselves.


But we admonish you, too, women of the second (degree of) modesty, who have fallen into wedlock, not to outgrow so far the discipline of the veil, not even in a moment of an hour, as, because you cannot refuse it, to take some other means to nullify it, by going neither covered nor bare.
(...) Arabia's heathen females will be your judges, who cover not only the head, but the face also, so entirely, that they are content, with one eye free, to enjoy rather half the light than to prostitute the entire face.
(...)
It is incumbent, then, at all times and in every place, to walk mindful of the law, prepared and equipped in readiness to meet every mention of God; who, if He be in the heart, will be recognised as well in the head of females. To such as read these (exhortations) with good will, to such as prefer Utility to Custom, may peace and grace from our Lord Jesus Christ redound

- Tertullian, "On the Veiling of Virgins." approx 200 AD

"Let the woman observe this, further. Let her be entirely covered, unless she happens to be at home. For that style of dress is grave, and protects from being gazed at. And she will never fall, who puts before her eyes modesty, and her shawl; nor will she invite another to fall into sin by uncovering her face. For this is the wish of the Word, since it is becoming for her to pray veiled." [Clement, The Instructor 3.12]
Clement of Alexandria, Egypt, approx 190 AD

"And let all the women have their heads covered with an opaque cloth, not with a veil of thin linen, for this is not a true covering."
-- Hippolytus (200 AD), Apostolic Tradition

“Woman, because she was created by being drawn from man’s side, is constantly trying to return to him. She desires the original unity of one flesh and one bone. The desire for unity between man and woman is a mirror of the relationship between Christ and the soul. As woman longs for union with man in human relationships, she is also drawn to unity with God. He calls her to become one with Him: to come under His side and become flesh of His flesh and bone of His bone. This occurs during reception of the Eucharist. The covering of the head with a veil symbolizes the reality of woman sheltered in the side of her Source and becoming one with Him. She becomes covered and hidden in her Divine Spouse.”

~ St. John Chrysostom, Father and Doctor of the Church

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Passion and Purity

I have been pulling quotes from this book, Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, to a single friend today and pulling it off the shelf for the first time in a while.
For those of you who don't know who she is, Elisabeth is the famous wife of missionary Jim Elliot who was killed in the amazon river basin by the indigenous people he was called to serve.
She is a speaker and author, and to me is and always has been a seeker and finder of Truth with a capital T.
Though she is not a Catholic writer, she is a Catholic thinker as evidenced by her work.
From what I understand of her personal life, her brother has converted to the Catholic faith. From what I read that she has written, she writes the truths of the Catholic faith. Because she is revered and well known by non Catholic Christians as a very holy and faithful woman, it would cause a ruckus if she were to convert. Whether or not that is her reasoning for NOT converting  is honestly none of our business. All I know is that both protestants and Catholics will LOVE her books. Kind of like a female CS Lewis... exhibiting three of the four marks of the True Church: One, Holy, Catholic... and lacking the "Apostolic." :)
This particular book is one I would give to any young woman, about dating and preparation for marriage, and the meaning of womanhood.
It makes me want to cry just knowing how much wisdom there was in here that I doubted as a single person, and knowing how to the degree that I followed its advice, I received such a blessing in my marriage. If I knew then what I know now!
My dear friend Liza gave this book to me when I was first learning what it means to allow Jesus to be Lord of ALL my life. Like most young women, I was pre-occupied with boys, and wanted nothing more than to know with certainty what my future held.
Having grown up in the world, I had absolutely no sense of myself as a woman, only shreds and remnants that modern, anti-woman feminism hadn't yet completely destroyed.
I had never really considered words like "meek" and "quiet" and "modest" in relation to my personhood, and it was very hard to peel the layers of that onion. So hard in fact, that though I loved and respected Liza very much and believed in the picture of the spirit-filled life she was painting because I saw the fruit of it in her own life, I struggled to understand and apply the things she was teaching me because they were so different and so... HARD.
Of course,. the other way was hard too. I wasn't getting anywhere, and I wasn't happy. But I wasn't weird, either, because I was doing what everyone else was doing to some degree. Now that I had this book in my hands it was like God calling me to stand apart from everyone and watch and trust.
I was afraid.
But I was intregued.
I went through three or four copies of this book. The first one I was given I shredded in a fit of anger. The second, I threw out. One day, in despair and knowing that I had worn out any possible chance of success at this "love thing," despite lots of success at finding interested men-- at least for a while--I marched over to the bookstore and picked up a new copy. And I tore through it from cover to cover.
I left for the Army determined to apply every principle I had read. I came back married. God's way works.
It was a hard marriage in the beginning, and applying the things I had learned in the book helped. God's way works.
We've been married for a long time now, and we love each other very much. Did I mention that God's way works?

So what is the radical message of this book?
It is simple: trust, develop a relationship with God, and wait. 

I will never forget the day I read these words on the page:

"My heart was saying:" Lord, take away this longing, or give me that for which I long!" The Lord was answering: "I must teach you to long for something better."
The book is filled with little pieces of wisdom she has gleaned through her years of devotion to God, reading His Word , and personal experience.
For example, on the topic of what men actually want, she says:

Women are always tempted to be initiators. We like to get things done. We want to talk about situations and feelings, get it out into the open, deal with it. It appears to us that men often ignore and evade issues, sweep things under the rug, forget about them, get on with projects , business, pleasure, sports, eat a big steak, turn on the television, roll over, and go to sleep. Women respond to this tendency by insisting on confrontation, communication, showdown. If we can't dragoon our men into that, we nag, we plead, we get attention by tears, silence or withholding warmth, intimacy, and attention. we have a large bag of tricks.
CS Lewis' vision of purgatory was a place where milk was always boiling over, crockery smashing, and toast burning. The lesson assigned to men was to do something about it. The lesson assigned to women was to do nothing. That would be purgatory for most of us. Women, especially when it comes to the love life, can hardly stand to do nothing.
And yet... that is what we must do! Wait, and do nothing, maintaining holy friendships with all...  and trust, keeping them at arms' length until there is a declaration of love and intent from a man. 

Not only is this necessary for the purity and future health of the marriage, it is a treasure for the woman to have and hold the true meaning of womanhood not only in the single or celibate life but in the married life as well. It helps me TODAY, in my marriage, to know these truths, and when I forget them, my marriage has suffered.

What do men want from women?

This list is hers, but I have seen it over and over again through the years in everything from cosmo to psych journals.... always the same.

Femininity.
Affirmation.
Encouragement.
Tenderness.
Sensitivity.
Vulnerability.
And lastly-- mystery. that there is much in the inner workings of a woman's heart that he hasn't discovered yet.

In my own life, I have witnessed couples who have lived by these rules and seen the fruit of them. I have friends who never kissed another person until their wedding day. I have friends who remained unaffiliated and unattached until their engagement day. They have lives full of joy, even in the midst of trials and difficulties. 
I have friends who have done nothing like that and claim that they are very happy with their choices. I know that I have regrets in my own choices NOT to follow her advice and that's all I can go by. 

Buy this book for your daughters, no matter what your religious background.
Read it yourselves. It is a powerful testimony of the glory of womanhood fully lived, and a heart-warming relevation of the touch of the Divine Hand in the human experience.

I have never read another book which so aptly captures the beautiful experience of womanhood and the sacredness of our calling.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tertullian (2nd Century) on Women's Apparel

Tertullian was a Catholic rhetorician of the 2nd century. He wrote the following treatise on women's apparel, which we ought to read and discuss. If you've never read Tertullian, you're probably going to be challenged by this...and either love him ot hate him. He's a Christian rhetorician, after all, not a politician.

Book I

Chapter 1. Introduction. Modesty in Apparel Becoming to Women, in Memory of the Introduction of Sin into the World Through a Woman

If there dwelt upon earth a faith as great as is the reward of faith which is expected in the heavens, no one of you at all, best beloved sisters, from the time that she had first “known the Lord,” and learned (the truth) concerning her own (that is, woman's) condition, would have desired too gladsome (not to say too ostentatious) a style of dress; so as not rather to go about in humble garb, and rather to affect meanness of appearance, walking about as Eve mourning and repentant, in order that by every garb of penitence she might the more fully expiate that which she derives from Eve,— the ignominy, I mean, of the first sin, and the odium (attaching to her as the cause) of human perdition. “In pains and in anxieties do you bear (children), woman; and toward your husband (is) your inclination, and he lords it over you.” And do you not know that you are (each) an Eve? The sentence of God on this sex of yours lives in this age: the guilt must of necessity live too. You are the devil's gateway: you are the unsealer of that (forbidden) tree: you are the first deserter of the divine law: you are she who persuaded him whom the devil was not valiant enough to attack. You destroyed so easily God's image, man. On account of your desert— that is, death— even the Son of God had to die. And do you think about adorning yourself over and above your tunics of skins? Come, now; if from the beginning of the world the Milesians sheared sheep, and the Serians spun trees, and the Tyrians dyed, and the Phrygians embroidered with the needle, and the Babylonians with the loom, and pearls gleamed, and onyx-stones flashed; if gold itself also had already issued, with the cupidity (which accompanies it), from the ground; if the mirror, too, already had licence to lie so largely, Eve, expelled from paradise, (Eve) already dead, would also have coveted these things, I imagine! No more, then, ought she now to crave, or be acquainted with (if she desires to live again), what, when she was living, she had neither had nor known. Accordingly these things are all the baggage of woman in her condemned and dead state, instituted as if to swell the pomp of her funeral.

Chapter 2. The Origin of Female Ornamentation, Traced Back to the Angels Who Had Fallen.

For they, withal, who instituted them are assigned, under condemnation, to the penalty of death—those angels, to wit, who rushed from heaven on the daughters of men; so that this ignominy also attaches to woman. For when to an age much more ignorant (than ours) they had disclosed certain well-concealed material substances, and several not well-revealed scientific arts— if it is true that they had laid bare the operations of metallurgy, and had divulged the natural properties of herbs, and had promulgated the powers of enchantments, and had traced out every curious art, even to the interpretation of the stars— they conferred properly and as it were peculiarly upon women that instrumental mean of womanly ostentation, the radiances of jewels wherewith necklaces are variegated, and the circlets of gold wherewith the arms are compressed, and the medicaments of orchil with which wools are coloured, and that black powder itself wherewith the eyelids and eyelashes are made prominent. What is the quality of these things may be declared meantime, even at this point, from the quality and condition of their teachers: in that sinners could never have either shown or supplied anything conducive to integrity, unlawful lovers anything conducive to chastity, renegade spirits anything conducive to the fear of God. If (these things) are to be called teachings, ill masters must of necessity have taught ill; if as wages of lust, there is nothing base of which the wages are honourable. But why was it of so much importance to show these things as well as to confer them? Was it that women, without material causes of splendour, and without ingenious contrivances of grace, could not please men, who, while still unadorned, and uncouth and— so to say— crude and rude, had moved (the mind of) angels? Or was it that the lovers would appear sordid and— through gratuitous use— contumelious, if they had conferred no (compensating) gift on the women who had been enticed into connubial connection with them? But these questions admit of no calculation. Women who possessed angels (as husbands) could desire nothing more; they had, forsooth, made a grand match! Assuredly they who, of course, did sometimes think whence they had fallen, and, after the heated impulses of their lusts, looked up toward heaven, thus requited that very excellence of women, natural beauty, as (having proved) a cause of evil, in order that their good fortune might profit them nothing; but that, being turned from simplicity and sincerity, they, together with (the angels) themselves, might become offensive to God. Sure they were that all ostentation, and ambition, and love of pleasing by carnal means, was displeasing to God. And these are the angels whom we are destined to judge: these are the angels whom in baptism we renounce: these, of course, are the reasons why they have deserved to be judged by man. What business, then, have their things with their judges? What commerce have they who are to condemn with them who are to be condemned? The same, I take it, as Christ has with Belial. With what consistency do we mount that (future) judgment-seat to pronounce sentence against those whose gifts we (now) seek after? For you too, (women as you are,) have the self-same angelic nature promised as your reward, the self-same sex as men: the self-same advancement to the dignity of judging, does (the Lord) promise you. Unless, then, we begin even here to pre-judge, by pre-condemning their things, which we are hereafter to condemn in themselves, they will rather judge and condemn us.

Chapter 3. Concerning the Genuineness of “The Prophecy of Enoch.”

I am aware that the Scripture of Enoch, which has assigned this order (of action) to angels, is not received by some, because it is not admitted into the Jewish canon either. I suppose they did not think that, having been published before the deluge, it could have safely survived that world-wide calamity, the abolisher of all things. If that is the reason (for rejecting it), let them recall to their memory that Noah, the survivor of the deluge, was the great-grandson of Enoch himself; and he, of course, had heard and remembered, from domestic renown and hereditary tradition, concerning his own great-grandfather's “grace in the sight of God,” and concerning all his preachings; since Enoch had given no other charge to Methuselah than that he should hand on the knowledge of them to his posterity. Noah therefore, no doubt, might have succeeded in the trusteeship of (his) preaching; or, had the case been otherwise, he would not have been silent alike concerning the disposition (of things) made by God, his Preserver, and concerning the particular glory of his own house.

If (Noah) had not had this (conservative power) by so short a route, there would (still) be this (consideration) to warrant our assertion of (the genuineness of) this Scripture: he could equally have renewed it, under the Spirit's inspiration, after it had been destroyed by the violence of the deluge, as, after the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonian storming of it, every document of the Jewish literature is generally agreed to have been restored through Ezra.

But since Enoch in the same Scripture has preached likewise concerning the Lord, nothing at all must be rejected by us which pertains to us; and we read that “every Scripture suitable for edification is divinely inspired.” By the Jews it may now seem to have been rejected for that (very) reason, just like all the other (portions) nearly which tell of Christ. Nor, of course, is this fact wonderful, that they did not receive some Scriptures which spoke of Him whom even in person, speaking in their presence, they were not to receive. To these considerations is added the fact that Enoch possesses a testimony in the Apostle Jude.

Chapter 4. Waiving the Question of the Authors, Tertullian Proposes to Consider the Things on Their Own Merits

Grant now that no mark of pre-condemnation has been branded on womanly pomp by the (fact of the) fate of its authors; let nothing be imputed to those angels besides their repudiation of heaven and (their) carnal marriage: let us examine the qualities of the things themselves, in order that we may detect the purposes also for which they are eagerly desired.

Female habit carries with it a twofold idea— dress and ornament. By “dress” we mean what they call “womanly gracing;” by “ornament,” what it is suitable should be called “womanly disgracing.” The former is accounted (to consist) in gold, and silver, and gems, and garments; the latter in care of the hair, and of the skin, and of those parts of the body which attract the eye. Against the one we lay the charge of ambition, against the other of prostitution; so that even from this early stage (of our discussion) you may look forward and see what, out of (all) these, is suitable, handmaid of God, to your discipline, inasmuch as you are assessed on different principles (from other women)—those, namely, of humility and chastity.

Chapter 5. Gold and Silver Not Superior in Origin or in Utility to Other Metals

Gold and silver, the principal material causes of worldly splendour, must necessarily be identical (in nature) with that out of which they have their being: (they must be) earth, that is; (which earth itself is) plainly more glorious (than they), inasmuch as it is only after it has been tearfully wrought by penal labour in the deadly laboratories of accursed mines, and there left its name of “earth” in the fire behind it, that, as a fugitive from the mine, it passes from torments to ornaments, from punishments to embellishments, from ignominies to honours. But iron, and brass, and other the vilest material substances, enjoy a parity of condition (with silver and gold), both as to earthly origin and metallurgic operation; in order that, in the estimation of nature, the substance of gold and of silver may be judged not a whit more noble (than theirs). But if it is from the quality of utility that gold and silver derive their glory, why, iron and brass excel them; whose usefulness is so disposed (by the Creator), that they not only discharge functions of their own more numerous and more necessary to human affairs, but do also none the less serve the turn of gold and silver, by dint of their own powers, in the service of juster causes. For not only are rings made of iron, but the memory of antiquity still preserves (the fame of) certain vessels for eating and drinking made out of brass. Let the insane plenteousness of gold and silver look to it, if it serves to make utensils even for foul purposes. At all events, neither is the field tilled by means of gold, nor the ship fastened together by the strength of silver. No mattock plunges a golden edge into the ground; no nail drives a silver point into planks. I leave unnoticed the fact that the needs of our whole life are dependent upon iron and brass; whereas those rich materials themselves, requiring both to be dug up out of mines, and needing a forging process in every use (to which they are put), are helpless without the laborious vigour of iron and brass. Already, therefore, we must judge whence it is that so high dignity accrues to gold and silver, since they get precedence over material substances which are not only cousin-german to them in point of origin, but more powerful in point of usefulness.

Chapter 6. Of Precious Stones and Pearls

But, in the next place, what am I to interpret those jewels to be which vie with gold in haughtiness, except little pebbles and stones and paltry particles of the self-same earth; but yet not necessary either for laying down foundations, or rearing party-walls, or supporting pediments, or giving density to roofs? The only edifice which they know how to rear is this silly pride of women: because they require slow rubbing that they may shine, and artful underlaying that they may show to advantage, and careful piercing that they may hang; and (because they) render to gold a mutual assistance in meretricious allurement. But whatever it is that ambition fishes up from the British or the Indian sea, it is a kind of conch not more pleasing in savour than— I do not say the oyster and the sea-snail, but— even the giant muscle. For let me add that I know conchs (which are) sweet fruits of the sea. But if that (foreign) conch suffers from some internal pustule, that ought to be regarded rather as its defect than as its glory; and although it be called “pearl,” still something else must be understood than some hard, round excrescence of the fish. Some say, too, that gems are culled from the foreheads of dragons, just as in the brains of fishes there is a certain stony substance. This also was wanting to the Christian woman, that she may add a grace to herself from the serpent! Is it thus that she will set her heel on the devil's head, while she heaps ornaments (taken) from his head on her own neck, or on her very head?

Chapter 7. Rarity the Only Cause Which Makes Such Things Valuable

It is only from their rarity and outlandishness that all these things possess their grace; in short, within their own native limits they are not held of so high worth. Abundance is always contumelious toward itself. There are some barbarians with whom, because gold is indigenous and plentiful, it is customary to keep (the criminals) in their convict establishments chained with gold, and to lade the wicked with riches— the more guilty, the more wealthy. At last there has really been found a way to prevent even gold from being loved! We have also seen at Rome the nobility of gems blushing in the presence of our matrons at the contemptuous usage of the Parthians and Medes, and the rest of their own fellow-countrymen, only that (their gems) are not generally worn with a view to ostentation. Emeralds lurk in their belts; and the sword (that hangs) below their bosom alone is witness to the cylindrical stones that decorate its hilt; and the massive single pearls on their boots are fain to get lifted out of the mud! In short, they carry nothing so richly gemmed as that which ought not to be gemmed if it is (either) not conspicuous, or else is conspicuous only that it may be shown to be also neglected.

Chapter 8. The Same Rule Holds with Regard to Colours. God's Creatures Generally Not to Be Used, Except for the Purposes to Which He Has Appointed Them

Similarly, too, do even the servants of those barbarians cause the glory to fade from the colours of our garments (by wearing the like); nay, even their party-walls use slightingly, to supply the place of painting, the Tyrian and the violet-coloured and the grand royal hangings, which you laboriously undo and metamorphose. Purple with them is more paltry than red ochre; (and justly,) for what legitimate honour can garments derive from adulteration with illegitimate colours? That which He Himself has not produced is not pleasing to God, unless He was unable to order sheep to be born with purple and sky-blue fleeces! If He was able, then plainly He was unwilling: what God willed not, of course ought not to be fashioned. Those things, then, are not the best by nature which are not from God, the Author of nature. Thus they are understood to be from the devil, from the corrupter of nature: for there is no other whose they can be, if they are not God's; because what are not God's must necessarily be His rival's. But, beside the devil and his angels, other rival of God there is none. Again, if the material substances are of God, it does not immediately follow that such ways of enjoying them among men (are so too). It is matter for inquiry not only whence come conchs, but what sphere of embellishment is assigned them, and where it is that they exhibit their beauty. For all those profane pleasures of worldly shows— as we have already published a volume of their own about them — (ay, and) even idolatry itself, derive their material causes from the creatures of God. Yet a Christian ought not to attach himself to the frenzies of the racecourse, or the atrocities of the arena, or the turpitudes of the stage, simply because God has given to man the horse, and the panther, and the power of speech: just as a Christian cannot commit idolatry with impunity either, because the incense, and the wine, and the fire which feeds (thereon), and the animals which are made the victims, are God's workmanship; since even the material thing which is adored is God's (creature). Thus then, too, with regard to their active use, does the origin of the material substances, which descends from God, excuse (that use) as foreign to God, as guilty forsooth of worldly glory!

Chapter 9. God's Distribution Must Regulate Our Desires, Otherwise We Become the Prey of Ambition and Its Attendant Evils

For, as some particular things distributed by God over certain individual lands, and some one particular tract of sea, are mutually foreign one to the other, they are reciprocally either neglected or desired: (desired) among foreigners, as being rarities; neglected (rightly), if anywhere, among their own compatriots, because in them there is no such fervid longing for a glory which, among its own home-folk, is frigid. But, however, the rareness and outlandishness which arise out of that distribution of possessions which God has ordered as He willed, ever finding favour in the eyes of strangers, excites, from the simple fact of not having what God has made native to other places, the concupiscence of having it. Hence is educed another vice— that of immoderate having; because although, perhaps, having may be permissible, still a limit is bound (to be observed). This (second vice) will be ambition; and hence, too, its name is to be interpreted, in that from concupiscence ambient in the mind it is born, with a view to the desire of glory—a grand desire, forsooth, which (as we have said) is recommended neither by nature nor by truth, but by a vicious passion of the mind—(namely,) concupiscence. And there are other vices connected with ambition and glory. Thus they have withal enhanced the cost of things, in order that (thereby) they might add fuel to themselves also; for concupiscence becomes proportionably greater as it has set a higher value upon the thing which it has eagerly desired. From the smallest caskets is produced an ample patrimony. On a single thread is suspended a million of sesterces. One delicate neck carries about it forests and islands. The slender lobes of the ears exhaust a fortune; and the left hand, with its every finger, sports with a several money-bag. Such is the strength of ambition— (equal) to bearing on one small body, and that a woman's, the product of so copious wealth.

Book II

Chapter 1. Introduction. Modesty to Be Observed Not Only in Its Essence, But in Its Accessories

Handmaids of the living God, my fellow-servants and sisters, the right which I enjoy with you— I, the most meanest in that right of fellow-servantship and brotherhood— emboldens me to address to you a discourse, not, of course, of affection, but paving the way for affection in the cause of your salvation. That salvation— and not (the salvation) of women only, but likewise of men— consists in the exhibition principally of modesty. For since, by the introduction into an appropriation (in) us of the Holy Spirit, we are all “the temple of God,” Modesty is the sacristan and priestess of that temple, who is to suffer nothing unclean or profane to be introduced (into it), for fear that the God who inhabits it should be offended, and quite forsake the polluted abode. But on the present occasion we (are to speak) not about modesty, for the enjoining and exacting of which the divine precepts which press (upon us) on every side are sufficient; but about the matters which pertain to it, that is, the manner in which it behooves you to walk. For most women (which very thing I trust God may permit me, with a view, of course, to my own personal censure, to censure in all), either from simple ignorance or else from dissimulation, have the hardihood so to walk as if modesty consisted only in the (bare) integrity of the flesh, and in turning away from (actual) fornication; and there were no need for anything extrinsic to boot— in the matter (I mean) of the arrangement of dress and ornament, the studied graces of form and brilliance:— wearing in their gait the self-same appearance as the women of the nations, from whom the sense of true modesty is absent, because in those who know not God, the Guardian and Master of truth, there is nothing true. For if any modesty can be believed (to exist) in Gentiles, it is plain that it must be imperfect and undisciplined to such a degree that, although it be actively tenacious of itself in the mind up to a certain point, it yet allows itself to relax into licentious extravagances of attire; just in accordance with Gentile perversity, in craving after that of which it carefully shuns the effect. How many a one, in short, is there who does not earnestly desire even to look pleasing to strangers? Who does not on that very account take care to have herself painted out, and denies that she has (ever) been an object of (carnal) appetite? And yet, granting that even this is a practice familiar to Gentile modesty— (namely,) not actually to commit the sin, but still to be willing to do so; or even not to be willing, yet still not quite to refuse— what wonder? For all things which are not God's are perverse. Let those women therefore look to it, who, by not holding fast the whole good, easily mingle with evil even what they do hold fast. Necessary it is that you turn aside from them, as in all other things, so also in your gait; since you ought to be “perfect, as (is) your Father who is in the heavens.”

Chapter 2. Perfect Modesty Will Abstain from Whatever Tends to Sin, as Well as from Sin Itself. Difference Between Trust and Presumption. If Secure Ourselves, We Must Not Put Temptation in the Way of Others. We Must Love Our Neighbour as Ourself

You must know that in the eye of perfect, that is, Christian, modesty, (carnal) desire of one's self (on the part of others) is not only not to be desired, but even execrated, by you: first, because the study of making personal grace (which we know to be naturally the inviter of lust) a mean of pleasing does not spring from a sound conscience: why therefore excite toward yourself that evil (passion)? Why invite (that) to which you profess yourself a stranger? Secondly, because we ought not to open a way to temptations, which, by their instancy, sometimes achieve (a wickedness) which God expels from them who are His; (or,) at all events, put the spirit into a thorough tumult by (presenting) a stumbling-block (to it). We ought indeed to walk so holily, and with so entire substantiality of faith, as to be confident and secure in regard of our own conscience, desiring that that (gift) may abide in us to the end, yet not presuming (that it will). For he who presumes feels less apprehension; he who feels less apprehension takes less precaution; he who takes less precaution runs more risk. Fear is the foundation of salvation; presumption is an impediment to fear. More useful, then, is it to apprehend that we may possibly fail, than to presume that we cannot; for apprehending will lead us to fear, fearing to caution, and caution to salvation. On the other hand, if we presume, there will be neither fear nor caution to save us. He who acts securely, and not at the same time warily, possesses no safe and firm security; whereas he who is wary will be truly able to be secure. For His own servants, may the Lord by His mercy take care that to them it may be lawful even to presume on His goodness! But why are we a (source of) danger to our neighbour? Why do we import concupiscence into our neighbour? Which concupiscence, if God, in “amplifying the law,” do not dissociate in (the way of) penalty from the actual commission of fornication, I know not whether He allows impunity to him who has been the cause of perdition to some other. For that other, as soon as he has felt concupiscence after your beauty, and has mentally already committed (the deed) which his concupiscence pointed to, perishes; and you have been made the sword which destroys him: so that, albeit you be free from the (actual) crime, you are not free from the odium (attaching to it); as, when a robbery has been committed on some man's estate, the (actual) crime indeed will not be laid to the owner's charge, while yet the domain is branded with ignominy, (and) the owner himself aspersed with the infamy. Are we to paint ourselves out that our neighbours may perish? Where, then, is (the command), “You shall love your neighbour as yourself?” “Care not merely about your own (things), but (about your) neighbour's?” No enunciation of the Holy Spirit ought to be (confined) to the subject immediately in hand merely, and not applied and carried out with a view to every occasion to which its application is useful. Since, therefore, both our own interest and that of others is implicated in the studious pursuit of most perilous (outward) comeliness, it is time for you to know that not merely must the pageantry of fictitious and elaborate beauty be rejected by you; but that of even natural grace must be obliterated by concealment and negligence, as equally dangerous to the glances of (the beholder's) eyes. For, albeit comeliness is not to be censured, as being a bodily happiness, as being an additional outlay of the divine plastic art, as being a kind of goodly garment of the soul; yet it is to be feared, just on account of the injuriousness and violence of suitors: which (injuriousness and violence) even the father of the faith, Abraham, greatly feared in regard of his own wife's grace; and Isaac, by falsely representing Rebecca as his sister, purchased safety by insult!

Chapter 3. Grant that Beauty Be Not to Be Feared: Still It is to Be Shunned as Unnecessary and Vainglorious

Let it now be granted that excellence of form be not to be feared, as neither troublesome to its possessors, nor destructive to its desirers, nor perilous to its compartners; let it be thought (to be) not exposed to temptations, not surrounded by stumbling-blocks: it is enough that to angels of God it is not necessary. For, where modesty is, there beauty is idle; because properly the use and fruit of beauty is voluptuousness, unless any one thinks that there is some other harvest for bodily grace to reap. Are women who think that, in furnishing to their neighbour that which is demanded of beauty, they are furnishing it to themselves also, to augment that (beauty) when (naturally) given them, and to strive after it when not (thus) given? Some one will say, “Why, then, if voluptuousness be shut out and chastity let in, may (we) not enjoy the praise of beauty alone, and glory in a bodily good?” Let whoever finds pleasure in “glorying in the flesh” see to that. To us in the first place, there is no studious pursuit of “glory,” because “glory” is the essence of exaltation. Now exaltation is incongruous for professors of humility according to God's precepts. Secondly, if all “glory” is “vain” and insensate, how much more (glory) in the flesh, especially to us? For even if “glorying” is (allowable), we ought to wish our sphere of pleasing to lie in the graces of the Spirit, not in the flesh; because we are “suitors” of things spiritual. In those things wherein our sphere of labour lies, let our joy lie. From the sources whence we hope for salvation, let us cull our “glory.” Plainly, a Christian will “glory” even in the flesh; but (it will be) when it has endured laceration for Christ's sake, in order that the spirit may be crowned in it, not in order that it may draw the eyes and sighs of youths after it. Thus (a thing) which, from whatever point you look at it, is in your case superfluous, you may justly disdain if you have it not, and neglect if you have. Let a holy woman, if naturally beautiful, give none so great occasion (for carnal appetite). Certainly, if even she be so, she ought not to set off (her beauty), but even to obscure it.

Chapter 4. Concerning the Plea of “Pleasing the Husband.”

As if I were speaking to Gentiles, addressing you with a Gentile precept, and (one which is) common to all, (I would say,) “You are bound to please your husbands only.” But you will please them in proportion as you take no care to please others. Be without carefulness, blessed (sisters): no wife is “ugly” to her own husband. She “pleased” him enough when she was selected (by him as his wife); whether commended by form or by character. Let none of you think that, if she abstain from the care of her person, she will incur the hatred and aversion of husbands. Every husband is the exactor of chastity; but beauty, a believing (husband) does not require, because we are not captivated by the same graces which the Gentiles think (to be) graces: an unbelieving one, on the other hand, even regards with suspicion, just from that infamous opinion of us which the Gentiles have. For whom, then, is it that you cherish your beauty? If for a believer, he does not exact it: if for an unbeliever, he does not believe in it unless it be artless. Why are you eager to please either one who is suspicious, or else one who desires it not?

Chapter 5. Some Refinements in Dress and Personal Appearance Lawful, Some Unlawful. Pigments Come Under the Latter Head

These suggestions are not made to you, of course, to be developed into an entire crudity and wildness of appearance; nor are we seeking to persuade you of the good of squalor and slovenliness; but of the limit and norm and just measure of cultivation of the person. There must be no overstepping of that line to which simple and sufficient refinements limit their desires— that line which is pleasing to God. For they who rub their skin with medicaments, stain their cheeks with rouge, make their eyes prominent with antimony, sin against Him . To them, I suppose, the plastic skill of God is displeasing! In their own persons, I suppose, they convict, they censure, the Artificer of all things! For censure they do when they amend, when they add to, (His work;) taking these their additions, of course, from the adversary artificer. That adversary artificer is the devil. For who would show the way to change the body, but he who by wickedness transfigured man's spirit? He it is, undoubtedly, who adapted ingenious devices of this kind; that in your persons it may be apparent that you, in a certain sense, do violence to God. Whatever is born is the work of God. Whatever, then, is plastered on (that), is the devil's work. To superinduce on a divine work Satan's ingenuities, how criminal is it! Our servants borrow nothing from our personal enemies: soldiers eagerly desire nothing from the foes of their own general; for, to demand for (your own) use anything from the adversary of Him in whose hand you are, is a transgression. Shall a Christian be assisted in anything by that evil one? (If he do,) I know not whether this name (of “Christian”) will continue (to belong) to him; for he will be his in whose lore he eagerly desires to be instructed. But how alien from your schoolings and professions are (these things)! How unworthy the Christian name, to wear a fictitious face, (you,) on whom simplicity in every form is enjoined!— to lie in your appearance, (you,) to whom (lying) with the tongue is not lawful!— to seek after what is another's, (you,) to whom is delivered (the precept of) abstinence from what is another's!— to practise adultery in your mien, (you,) who make modesty your study! Think, blessed (sisters), how will you keep God's precepts if you shall not keep in your own persons His lineaments?

Chapter 6. Of Dyeing the Hair

I see some (women) turn (the colour of) their hair with saffron. They are ashamed even of their own nation, (ashamed) that their procreation did not assign them to Germany and to Gaul: thus, as it is, they transfer their hair (there)! Ill, ay, most ill, do they augur for themselves with their flame-coloured head, and think that graceful which (in fact) they are polluting! Nay, moreover, the force of the cosmetics burns ruin into the hair; and the constant application of even any undrugged moisture, lays up a store of harm for the head; while the sun's warmth, too, so desirable for imparting to the hair at once growth and dryness, is hurtful. What “grace” is compatible with “injury?” What “beauty” with “impurities?” Shall a Christian woman heap saffron on her head, as upon an altar? For, whatever is wont to be burned to the honour of the unclean spirit, that— unless it is applied for honest, and necessary, and salutary uses, for which God's creature was provided— may seem to be a sacrifice. But, however, God says, “Which of you can make a white hair black, or out of a black a white?” And so they refute the Lord! “Behold!” say they, “instead of white or black, we make it yellow—more winning in grace.” And yet such as repent of having lived to old age do attempt to change it even from white to black! O temerity! The age which is the object of our wishes and prayers blushes (for itself)! A theft is effected! Youth, wherein we have sinned, is sighed after! The opportunity of sobriety is spoiled! Far from Wisdom's daughters be folly so great! The more old age tries to conceal itself, the more will it be detected. Here is a veritable eternity, in the (perennial) youth of your head! Here we have an “incorruptibility” to “put on,” with a view to the new house of the Lord which the divine monarchy promises! Well do you speed toward the Lord; well do you hasten to be quit of this most iniquitous world, to whom it is unsightly to approach (your own) end!

Chapter 7. Of Elaborate Dressing of the Hair in Other Ways, and Its Bearing Upon Salvation

What service, again, does all the labour spent in arranging the hair render to salvation? Why is no rest allowed to your hair, which must now be bound, now loosed, now cultivated, now thinned out? Some are anxious to force their hair into curls, some to let it hang loose and flying; not with good simplicity: beside which, you affix I know not what enormities of subtle and textile perukes; now, after the manner of a helmet of undressed hide, as it were a sheath for the head and a covering for the crown; now, a mass (drawn) backward toward the neck. The wonder is, that there is no (open) contending against the Lord's prescripts! It has been pronounced that no one can add to his own stature. You, however, do add to your weight some kind of rolls, or shield-bosses, to be piled upon your necks! If you feel no shame at the enormity, feel some at the pollution; for fear you may be fitting on a holy and Christian head the slough of some one else's head, unclean perchance, guilty perchance and destined to hell. Nay, rather banish quite away from your “free” head all this slavery of ornamentation. In vain do you labour to seem adorned: in vain do you call in the aid of all the most skilful manufacturers of false hair. God bids you “be veiled.” I believe (He does so) for fear the heads of some should be seen! And oh that in “that day” of Christian exultation, I, most miserable (as I am), may elevate my head, even though below (the level of) your heels! I shall (then) see whether you will rise with (your) ceruse and rouge and saffron, and in all that parade of headgear: whether it will be women thus tricked out whom the angels carry up to meet Christ in the air! If these (decorations) are now good, and of God, they will then also present themselves to the rising bodies, and will recognise their several places. But nothing can rise except flesh and spirit sole and pure. Whatever, therefore, does not rise in (the form of) spirit and flesh is condemned, because it is not of God. From things which are condemned abstain, even at the present day. At the present day let God see you such as He will see you then.

Chapter 8. Men Not Excluded from These Remarks on Personal Adornment

Of course, now, I, a man, as being envious of women, am banishing them quite from their own (domains). Are there, in our case too, some things which, in respect of the sobriety we are to maintain on account of the fear due to God, are disallowed? If it is true, (as it is,) that in men, for the sake of women (just as in women for the sake of men), there is implanted, by a defect of nature, the will to please; and if this sex of ours acknowledges to itself deceptive trickeries of form peculiarly its own—(such as) to cut the beard too sharply; to pluck it out here and there; to shave round about (the mouth); to arrange the hair, and disguise its hoariness by dyes; to remove all the incipient down all over the body; to fix (each particular hair) in its place with (some) womanly pigment; to smooth all the rest of the body by the aid of some rough powder or other: then, further, to take every opportunity for consulting the mirror; to gaze anxiously into it:— while yet, when (once) the knowledge of God has put an end to all wish to please by means of voluptuous attraction, all these things are rejected as frivolous, as hostile to modesty. For where God is, there modesty is; there is sobriety her assistant and ally. How, then, shall we practise modesty without her instrumental mean, that is, without sobriety? How, moreover, shall we bring sobriety to bear on the discharge of (the functions of) modesty, unless seriousness in appearance and in countenance, and in the general aspect of the entire man, mark our carriage?

Chapter 9. Excess in Dress, as Well as in Personal Culture, to Be Shunned. Arguments Drawn from I Cor. VII.

Wherefore, with regard to clothing also, and all the remaining lumber of your self-elaboration, the like pruning off and retrenchment of too redundant splendour must be the object of your care. For what boots it to exhibit in your face temperance and unaffectedness, and a simplicity altogether worthy of the divine discipline, but to invest all the other parts of the body with the luxurious absurdities of pomps and delicacies? How intimate is the connection which these pomps have with the business of voluptuousness, and how they interfere with modesty, is easily discernible from the fact that it is by the allied aid of dress that they prostitute the grace of personal comeliness: so plain is it that if (the pomps) be wanting, they render (that grace) bootless and thankless, as if it were disarmed and wrecked. On the other hand, if natural beauty fails, the supporting aid of outward embellishment supplies a grace, as it were, from its own inherent power. Those times of life, in fact, which are at last blest with quiet and withdrawn into the harbour of modesty, the splendour and dignity of dress lure away (from that rest and that harbour), and disquiet seriousness by seductions of appetite, which compensate for the chill of age by the provocative charms of apparel. First, then, blessed (sisters), (take heed) that you admit not to your use meretricious and prostitutionary garbs and garments: and, in the next place, if there are any of you whom the exigencies of riches, or birth, or past dignities, compel to appear in public so gorgeously arrayed as not to appear to have attained wisdom, take heed to temper an evil of this kind; lest, under the pretext of necessity, you give the rein without stint to the indulgence of licence. For how will you be able to fulfil (the requirements of) humility, which our (school) profess, if you do not keep within bounds the enjoyment of your riches and elegancies, which tend so much to “glory?” Now it has ever been the wont of glory to exalt, not to humble. “Why, shall we not use what is our own?” Who prohibits your using it? Yet (it must be) in accordance with the apostle, who warns us “to use this world as if we abuse it not; for the fashion of this world is passing away.” And “they who buy are so to act as if they possessed not.” Why so? Because he had laid down the premiss, saying, “The time is wound up.” If, then he shows plainly that even wives themselves are so to be had as if they be not had, on account of the straits of the times, what would be his sentiments about these vain appliances of theirs? Why, are there not many, withal, who so do, and seal themselves up to eunuchhood for the sake of the kingdom of God, spontaneously relinquishing a pleasure so honourable, and (as we know) permitted? Are there not some who prohibit to themselves (the use of) the very “creature of God,” abstaining from wine and animal food, the enjoyments of which border upon no peril or solicitude; but they sacrifice to God the humility of their soul even in the chastened use of food? Sufficiently, therefore, have you, too, used your riches and your delicacies; sufficiently have you cut down the fruits of your dowries, before (receiving) the knowledge of saving disciplines. We are they “upon whom the ends of the ages have met, having ended their course.” We have been predestined by God, before the world was, (to arise) in the extreme end of the times. And so we are trained by God for the purpose of chastising, and (so to say) emasculating, the world. We are the circumcision — spiritual and carnal— of all things; for both in the spirit and in the flesh we circumcise worldly principles.

Chapter 10. Tertullian Refers Again to the Question of the Origin of All These Ornaments and Embellishments.

It was God, no doubt, who showed the way to dye wools with the juices of herbs and the humours of conchs! It had escaped Him, when He was bidding the universe to come into being, to issue a command for (the production of) purple and scarlet sheep! It was God, too, who devised by careful thought the manufactures of those very garments which, light and thin (in themselves), were to be heavy in price alone; God who produced such grand implements of gold for confining or parting the hair; God who introduced (the fashion of) finely-cut wounds for the ears, and set so high a value upon the tormenting of His own work and the tortures of innocent infancy, learning to suffer with its earliest breath, in order that from those scars of the body— born for the steel!— should hang I know not what (precious) grains, which, as we may plainly see, the Parthians insert, in place of studs, upon their very shoes! And yet even the gold itself, the “glory” of which carries you away, serves a certain race (so Gentile literature tells us) for chains! So true is it that it is not intrinsic worth, but rarity, which constitutes the goodness (of these things): the excessive labour, moreover, of working them with arts introduced by the means of the sinful angels, who were the revealers withal of the material substances themselves, joined with their rarity, excited their costliness, and hence a lust on the part of women to possess (that) costliness. But, if the self-same angels who disclosed both the material substances of this kind and their charms— of gold, I mean, and lustrous stones— and taught men how to work them, and by and by instructed them, among their other (instructions), in (the virtues of) eyelid-powder and the dyeings of fleeces, have been condemned by God, as Enoch tells us, how shall we please God while we joy in the things of those (angels) who, on these accounts, have provoked the anger and the vengeance of God?

Now, granting that God did foresee these things; that God permitted them; that Esaias finds fault with no garment of purple, represses no coil, reprobates no crescent-shaped neck ornaments; still let us not, as the Gentiles do, flatter ourselves with thinking that God is merely a Creator, not likewise a Downlooker on His own creatures. For how far more usefully and cautiously shall we act, if we hazard the presumption that all these things were indeed provided at the beginning and placed in the world by God, in order that there should now be means of putting to the proof the discipline of His servants, in order that the licence of using should be the means whereby the experimental trials of continence should be conducted? Do not wise heads of families purposely offer and permit some things to their servants in order to try whether and how they will use the things thus permitted; whether (they will do so) with honesty, or with moderation? But how far more praiseworthy (the servant) who abstains entirely; who has a wholesome fear even of his lord's indulgence! Thus, therefore, the apostle too: “All things,” says he, “are lawful, but not all are expedient.” How much more easily will he fear what is unlawful who has a reverent dread of what is lawful?

Chapter 11. Christian Women, Further, Have Not the Same Causes for Appearing in Public, and Hence for Dressing in Fine Array as Gentiles. On the Contrary, Their Appearance Should Always Distinguish Them from Such

Moreover, what causes have you for appearing in public in excessive grandeur, removed as you are from the occasions which call for such exhibitions? For you neither make the circuit of the temples, nor demand (to be present at) public shows, nor have any acquaintance with the holy days of the Gentiles. Now it is for the sake of all these public gatherings, and of much seeing and being seen, that all pomps (of dress) are exhibited before the public eye; either for the purpose of transacting the trade of voluptuousness, or else of inflating “glory.” You, however, have no cause of appearing in public, except such as is serious. Either some brother who is sick is visited, or else the sacrifice is offered, or else the word of God is dispensed. Whichever of these you like to name is a business of sobriety and sanctity, requiring no extraordinary attire, with (studious) arrangement and (wanton) negligence. And if the requirements of Gentile friendships and of kindly offices call you, why not go forth clad in your own armour; (and) all the more, in that (you have to go) to such as are strangers to the faith? So that between the handmaids of God and of the devil there may be a difference; so that you may be an example to them, and they may be edified in you; so that (as the apostle says) “God may be magnified in your body.” But magnified He is in the body through modesty: of course, too, through attire suitable to modesty. Well, but it is urged by some, “Let not the Name be blasphemed in us, if we make any derogatory change from our old style and dress.” Let us, then, not abolish our old vices! let us maintain the same character, if we must maintain the same appearance (as before); and then truly the nations will not blaspheme! A grand blasphemy is that by which it is said, “Ever since she became a Christian, she walks in poorer garb!” Will you fear to appear poorer, from the time that you have been made more wealthy; and fouler, from the time when you have been made more clean? Is it according to the decree of Gentiles, or according to the decree of God, that it becomes Christians to walk?

Chapter 12. Such Outward Adornments Meretricious, and Therefore Unsuitable to Modest Women

Let us only wish that we may be no cause for just blasphemy! But how much more provocative of blasphemy is it that you, who are called modesty's priestesses, should appear in public decked and painted out after the manner of the immodest? Else, (if you so do,) what inferiority would the poor unhappy victims of the public lusts have (beneath you)? Whom, albeit some laws were (formerly) wont to restrain them from (the use of) matrimonial and matronly decorations, now, at all events, the daily increasing depravity of the age has raised so nearly to an equality with all the most honourable women, that the difficulty is to distinguish them. And yet, even the Scriptures suggest (to us the reflection), that meretricious attractivenesses of form are invariably conjoined with and appropriate to bodily prostitution. That powerful state which presides over the seven mountains and very many waters, has merited from the Lord the appellation of a prostitute. But what kind of garb is the instrumental mean of her comparison with that appellation? She sits, to be sure, “in purple, and scarlet, and gold, and precious stone.” How accursed are the things without (the aid of) which an accursed prostitute could not have been described! It was the fact that Thamar “had painted out and adorned herself” that led Judah to regard her as a harlot, and thus, because she was hidden beneath her “veil,”— the quality of her garb belying her as if she had been a harlot—he judged (her to be one), and addressed and bargained with (her as such). Whence we gather an additional confirmation of the lesson, that provision must be made in every way against all immodest associations and suspicions. For why is the integrity of a chaste mind defiled by its neighbour's suspicion? Why is a thing from which I am averse hoped for in me? Why does not my garb pre-announce my character, to prevent my spirit from being wounded by shamelessness through (the channel of) my ears? Grant that it be lawful to assume the appearance of a modest woman: to assume that of an immodest is, at all events, not lawful.

Chapter 13. It is Not Enough that God Know Us to Be Chaste: We Must Seem So Before Men. Especially in These Times of Persecution We Must Inure Our Bodies to the Hardships Which They May Not Improbably Be Called to Suffer

Perhaps some (woman) will say: “To me it is not necessary to be approved by men; for I do not require the testimony of men: God is the inspector of the heart.” (That) we all know; provided, however, we remember what the same (God) has said through the apostle: “Let your probity appear before men.” For what purpose, except that malice may have no access at all to you, or that you may be an example and testimony to the evil? Else, what is (that): “Let your works shine?” Why, moreover, does the Lord call us the light of the world; why has He compared us to a city built upon a mountain; if we do not shine in (the midst of) darkness, and stand eminent amid them who are sunk down? If you hide your lamp beneath a bushel, you must necessarily be left quite in darkness, and be run against by many. The things which make us luminaries of the world are these— our good works. What is good, moreover, provided it be true and full, loves not darkness: it joys in being seen, and exults over the very pointings which are made at it. To Christian modesty it is not enough to be so, but to seem so too. For so great ought its plenitude to be, that it may flow out from the mind to the garb, and burst out from the conscience to the outward appearance; so that even from the outside it may gaze, as it were, upon its own furniture, — (a furniture) such as to be suited to retain faith as its inmate perpetually. For such delicacies as tend by their softness and effeminacy to unman the manliness of faith are to be discarded. Otherwise, I know not whether the wrist that has been wont to be surrounded with the palmleaf-like bracelet will endure till it grow into the numb hardness of its own chain! I know not whether the leg that has rejoiced in the anklet will suffer itself to be squeezed into the gyve! I fear the neck, beset with pearl and emerald nooses, will give no room to the broadsword! Wherefore, blessed (sisters), let us meditate on hardships, and we shall not feel them; let us abandon luxuries, and we shall not regret them. Let us stand ready to endure every violence, having nothing which we may fear to leave behind. It is these things which are the bonds which retard our hope. Let us cast away earthly ornaments if we desire heavenly. Love not gold; in which (one substance) are branded all the sins of the people of Israel. You ought to hate what ruined your fathers; what was adored by them who were forsaking God. Even then (we find) gold is food for the fire. But Christians always, and now more than ever, pass their times not in gold but in iron: the stoles of martyrdom are (now) preparing: the angels who are to carry us are (now) being awaited! Do you go forth (to meet them) already arrayed in the cosmetics and ornaments of prophets and apostles; drawing your whiteness from simplicity, your ruddy hue from modesty; painting your eyes with bashfulness, and your mouth with silence; implanting in your ears the words of God; fitting on your necks the yoke of Christ. Submit your head to your husbands, and you will be enough adorned. Busy your hands with spinning; keep your feet at home; and you will “please” better than (by arraying yourselves) in gold. Clothe yourselves with the silk of uprightness, the fine linen of holiness, the purple of modesty. Thus painted, you will have God as your Lover!




another snag from the CLAA FORUMS, introduction by William Michael.


Sunday, June 20, 2010

A modesty primer, for the curious.

Inevitably, as I write about and "put out there" some of my thoughts on an issue (via Twitter, Facebook, and right here) I get emails and responses from people who are also thinking about these things and have questions. Modesty is no different.
Today I got an email from someone who has been reading and thinking about modesty as well, but who is not really certain about where to begin and what it all means for HER.
Soooo, I thought that would be a great topic for a blog: an overview of modern clothing, some ideas on where to begin, etc etc.


First things first: History.
Historically speaking, women (and men, for that matter) have never been as "uncovered" as they are in our generation. Over time, of course, there have been fashions which rose and fell that exposed certain parts of our bodies (bustles, low bustlines.... hello?) But not until this century, and even the last forty years, have women been truly able to "bare all" the way that they do.
We have been fed the idea that this is liberation, this is freedom. But is it? It's up to you to decide. I'm not a fashion historian, but I think you'll agree that as a general rule, fashion used to be FAR more functional than flattering, and has always been about SAYING SOMETHING- making a message. If you were poor, your clothes said that you worked hard and suffered much.
If you were rich enough to afford new clothes, you chose clothes that said something about who you were. Things are not that different today, in that sense. Our clothes send a message. Modest clothes send the message that modesty is important to us.
Further, our clothes are no longer functional. Many of us have abstained from one activity or another because we were not "dressed for the occasion." What does that say about us since we are called in scripture to be "All things for all people?"

But what IS modest?

We live in a world where there are truly no more standards. Anything goes. Thus, nothing is truly shocking anymore... except radical modesty. In the city I live in, a military town, there is an abundance of "gentlemen's" (haha) clubs lining the main streets. Often times, in the late morning, strippers and their boyfriends will grab lunch and then head back to work. They do not cover up much from their "work clothes." At these moments, I've noticed, it is getting harder and harder to tell an ACTUAL stripper from a regular girl... and I've also noticed that while men continue to leer and women continue to look disgusted, very few people actually say anything to a woman dressed in a completely revealing outfit. Well, other than the whistling, cat calls, etc.
On the other hand, when I go out covered up, EVERYONE has something to say to me. It's very bizarre.
Because of this lack of standards, it's very hard to say what constitutes "modest" and what doesn't. Whereas one person may find admirable the wearing of something like this:


Another might find that totally immodest and prefer something like this:



But even then, another might see that and find it completely innapropriate, choosing instead to look like this: (and I love this picture because it was taken in my hometown and it just goes to show how totally DIFFERENT our concepts of modesty truly are...)



Even among women who wear Hijab (and thus completely observe a specific law of modesty) there is disagreement about what that entails... Abaya (overcoat) or not, cover face or not, etc. All this to say that I think the question is not so much "how much" to show but what the interior motives of your heart might be. In your particular faith tradition, there must be some sort of historical movement towards modesty and perhaps the wise choice would be to cling to that.

For example, I am a Catholic, and all traditional Catholics know that we women are called to a Mary-like modesty, to ask ourselves... would the Blessed Virgin Mary wear this? If that's too broad a question, it has been made real simple for us:

Imprimatur dated Sept. 24, 1956
"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper."
The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII

In other words, anything LESS than this would be uncatholic and immodest, anything more, it follows, would be modest enough. Catholicism lends great importance to human dignity and to individual freewill and intention. Thus, for a Catholic to cover her face would probably not be ideal. That being said, there is nothing that says a Catholic can not do so.

Women of other faiths have other guidelines to go on.... Church fathers, certain pastors they like, rabbinical regulations or Quranic verse. Whatever the case may be, if you are personally exploring modesty as an option for yourself, I would start there.
The other thing I would try to remember is that it's not only about WHAT you cover it's about HOW you do it-- in other words, you can be wearing long sleeves and long pants but if they are skintight, it's not considered modest.

The second thing I would ask myself is: "Am I willing to adopt a modest ATTITUDE alongside my new modest clothing?" If you are not, then you might as well keep dressing the way you have been all along, because you haven't changed a thing. Clothes are just clothes. Modesty is designed to help us increase in the virtue of Chastity, by which we offer ourselves a living sacrifice to God, having rigorously trained the flesh to be in submission to the Spirit. The clothes are there to help the person fight the battles of the flesh.

The Headcovering issue.

I have done and redone the headcovering issue to death, so I won't do it again here, but suffice to say that I think it's pretty clear that all three major abrahamic faiths have the same standards of modesty and of headcovering. Thus, it is my personal opinion that women should veil. That being said-- the veil adds a whole new dimension to the modesty factor in your clothing AND makes a mark on you spiritually so that I recommend starting off by JUST switching to modest clothes, since veiling without modest clothes looks strange and defeats the purpose of veiling. Then, once you are comfortable with wearing modest clothes I recommend veiling for Church and prayer, not fulltime at first. As time goes on, you will decide if it's something you can do. But you cannot do it all right off the bat and then change your mind-- the effect that has on the "watchers" around you is very real.

So what happens when you start?

After selecting the type of clothes you are planning on wearing, of course, the next step is to actually wear them. This will need to be gradual if you are making a BIG change, and can be done right away without looking back if you are making small changes. For instance... my mother in law, parents, etc are still TOTALLY wierded out by my fashion choice. So in order not to shock them too much, I try to be more discreet and less obvious about what I'm doing when I'm around them(think: long sleeve shirt and long skirt + long bandana instead of an abaya and shayla wrap.)
That being said, I highly recommend just circling a date on your calendar, once you've been "trying it" a while, and just saying "From this day forward I will get rid of all my other clothes and not look back." For me, that day is August 15 of this year, the day of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven. :-)
Also, be aware: you will get looks, you will get questions, you will get cornered. Think ahead of time about how you will respond to different scenarios, because I cannot say enough how revolutionary the act of not showing one's body is in our society.

How do I start?

The biggest recommendation I can make to you is to shop online. The stores these days are full of garbage that is unusable to a modesty-conscious woman and I cannot tell you how much time and money you will save if you buy and plan your new wardrobe online. Start by going through your closet and bagging up all the things you will no longer be wearing. Then figure out what you need more of-- usually it's layering tees and longer skirts for most women.
There is a GREAT modest clothing directory for women of ALL faith backgrounds here:

http://www.modestclothes.com/

I would recommend starting there and then filling in with some basics you are missing (I'm STILL saving up for some long sleeve tissue tees!! Haha.)

Lots of people worry about how to overcome the heat. Let me be the first to tell you: heat is not an issue when you wear modest clothing in natural fabrics (ie not polyester.) It is waaaaaaay cooler in a light colored linen abaya and dress than it is in jeans and a tee shirt. WAY cooler. Infinitely cooler. So there's that. Avoid polyester like the plague in the summer. It traps all heat close to the body.

And that's basically it. If you think about your wardrobe TOO much you will defeat the whole purpose of modesty, I think. So pick something, pray about it, stick to it, and let me know how it goes!

Welcome to the sisterhood of the modest world. It's awesome here.



Further thoughts for Catholics:

Imprimatur dated Sept. 24, 1956
"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper."
The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII
"The good of our soul is more important than that of our body; and we have to prefer the spiritual welfare of our neighbor to our bodily comforts. If a certain kind of dress constitutes a grave and proximate occasion of sin, and endangers the salvation of your soul and others, it is your duty to give it up. O Christian mothers, if you knew what a future of anxieties and perils, of ill-guarded shame you prepare for your sons and daughters, imprudently getting them accustomed to live scantily dressed and making them lose the sense of modesty, you would be ashamed of yourselves and you would dread the harm you are making of yourselves, the harm which you are causing these children, whom Heaven has entrusted to you to be brought up as Christians."
Pius XII to Catholic Young Women's Groups of Italy
THIS LEAFLET DISTRIBUTED BY: THE LEAGUE FOR MODESTY IN DRESS, NY
The Church speaks about Modesty
Pope Benedict XV has taught very clearly about modesty in an encyclical letter (Sacra Propediem, 1921), commemorating the 7th centenary of the founding of the Franciscan Third Order.


"One can not sufficiently deplore the blindness of so many women of every age and station. Made foolish by a desire to please, they do not see to what degree the indecency of their clothing shocks every honest man and offends God. Most of them would formerly have blushed for such apparel as for a grave fault against Christian modesty. Now it does not suffice to exhibit themselves on public thoroughfares; they do not fear to cross the threshold of churches, to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and even to bear the seducing food of shameful passions to the Eucharistic Table, where one receives the Heavenly Author of Purity."

1930 Letter of the Congregation of the Council

By virtue of the supreme apostolate which he wields over the Universal Church by Divine Will, our Most Holy Father Pope Pius XI has never ceased to inculcate, both verbally and by his writings, the words of St. Paul (1 Tim. xi,9-10), namely, "Women ... adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety ... and professing godliness with good works."

Very often, when occasion arose, the same Supreme Pontiff condemned emphatically the immodest fashion of dress adopted by Catholic women and girls -- which fashion not only offends the dignity of women and against her adornment, but conduces to the temporal ruin of the women and girls, and, what is still worse, to their eternal ruin, miserably dragging down others in their fall. It is not surprising, therefore, that all Bishops and other ordinaries, as is the duty of ministers of Christ, should in their own dioceses have unanimously opposed their depraved licentiousness and promiscuity of manners, often bearing with fortitude the derision and mockery leveled against them for this cause.

Therefore this Sacred Council, which watches over the discipline of clergy and people, while cordially commending the action of the Venerable Bishops, most emphatically exhorts them to persevere in their attitude and increase their activities insofar as their strength permits, in order that this unwholesome disease be definitely uprooted from human society.

In order to facilitate the desired effect, this Sacred Congregation, by the mandate of the Most Holy Father, has decreed as follows:




Exhortation to Those in Authority

1. The parish priest, and especially the preacher, when occasion arises, should, according to the words of the Apostle Paul (2 Tim. iv, 2), insist, argue exhort and command that feminine garb be based on modesty and womanly ornament be a defense of virtue. Let them likewise admonish parents to cause their daughters to cease wearing indecorous dress.

2. Parents, conscious of their grave obligations toward the education, especially religious and moral, to their offspring, should see to it that their daughters are solidly instructed, from earliest childhood, in Christian doctrine; and they themselves should assiduously inculcate in their souls, by word and example, love for the virtues of modesty and chastity; and since their family should follow the example of the Holy Family, they must rule in such a manner that all its members, reared within the walls of the home, should find reason and incentive to love and preserve modesty.

3. Let parents keep their daughters away from public gymnastic games and contests; but if their daughters are compelled to attend such exhibitions, let them see that they are fully and modestly dressed. Let them never permit their daughters to don immodest garb.

4. Superioresses and teachers in schools for girls must do their utmost to instill love of modesty in the hearts of maidens confided to their care and urge them to dress modestly.

5. Said Superioresses and teachers must not receive in their colleges and schools immodestly dressed girls, and should not even make an exception in the case of mothers of pupils. If, after being admitted, girls persist in dressing immodestly, such pupils should be dismissed.

6. Nuns, in compliance with the Letter dated August 23, 1928, by the Sacred Congregation of Religious, must not receive in their colleges, schools, oratories or recreation grounds, or, if once admitted, tolerate girls who are not dressed with Christian modesty; said Nuns, in addition, should do their utmost so that love for holy chastity and Christian modesty may become deeply rooted in the hearts of their pupils.

7. It is desirable that pious organizations of women be founded, which by their counsel, example and propaganda should combat the wearing of apparel unsuited to Christian modesty, and should promote purity of customs and modesty of dress.

8. In the pious associations of women those who dress immodestly should not be admitted to membership; but if, perchance, they are received, and after having been admitted, fall again into their error, they should be dismissed forthwith.

9. Maidens and women dressed immodestly are to be debarred from Holy Communion and from acting as sponsors at the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation; further, if the offense be extreme, they may even be forbidden to enter the church.

Donato Cardinal Sbaretti, Prefect
Congregation of the Council
Rome, January 12, 1930

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Lessons in a life of prayer

I promised the other day that I would write a little bit about some further insights I have gained through the practice of complete modesty in dress.

The first thing is that because I am a Christian and not a Muslim, the purpose of my headcovering is Obedience to God and a demonstration that I am submitted to the proper authority. It is NOT out of modesty. Thus I am commanded to cover when I pray or prophesy in 1 Corinthians 11 as a sign to the angels, and later in 1 Timothy to pray without ceasing.
Where a muslim woman who spent as much time at home as I do (and many of them do) might spend all that time UNcovered, I am not technically supposed to. That being said, I find that going uncovered at home and putting on a veil when I am CONSCIOUSLY about to stop and pray has been a practice that increased the "gravity" of the moment when I actually stop and turn to God. Because of that I am basically NOT covering at home unless I am stopping to pray. More on that in a moment.

Modesty is not something that comes naturally to me. I'm not very "aware" of my latent sensuality and I'll be honest, since having my children I am certainly no longer the sexy young thang that I used to be, so I don't totally see the "necessity" of it in my current state. I grew up on the beaches of southern France and south California and we certainly didn't wear much either place. I no longer really struggle much with lust or inappropriate sexual behavior, so it's just kind of a non-issue. UNTIL I stop and think about others. That's when it becomes crystal clear that we SHOULD pay attention to what we do/wear. That modesty is more than just "covering up..." because I can tell you that you can cover from head to toe, but if your HEART isn't modest, it shows RIGHT through your clothes.
Muslim women have a practice of not looking non-related men in the eye. What an incredible testament to their commitment to chastity! Would that we would similarly be so concerned.

It is hard for me, each day, to step outside covered. I don't mind covering my hair-- I actually love that part, but to cover the rest of me makes me very uncomfortable.
Well, let me explain that better. The ACTUAL comfort level of my body is much improved. I am free to move whichever way I choose without giving it much thought, and if I am smart about it, it's actually easier to stay cool on hot days and warm on cold days. It is a HUGE blessing to me never to have to tug at a creeping shirt again, or to worry about pulling clothes any direction to cover my post-baby body or my milk factory. Jeans have ALWAYS fallen right off me (I have no butt) so I find that wearing Hijab (and I actually have been wearing an Abaya or overgarment) is SUPER comfy... I don't have to stress out about pulling my pants up every time I stand, etc.
On the other hand, it takes some serious guts to go out with nothing hanging out. I have to tell you, EVEN WITHOUT THE HEADCOVERING people stare, stare, stare at you if you are wearing a long dress that goes down to your wrists and ankles.
This makes me nervous and also makes me feel like I'm not pretty, which of course is simply not true. I am obviously a victim of my culture because to leave the house THIS covered up makes me feel like I look ugly.
Many of you will ask... why do it, then? The answer is that it seems clear to me from my response that I attach too much importance to fashion and the way I look. The reality is that I am happily married to a man who thinks I am beautiful, and that I am a busy mother to three young children. I have no need to be "fashionable" other than to "make myself feel good..." and the truth is that in doing the opposite of what I "desire" to do I am able to emotionally detach from that very need and instead cleave to God, which is spiritual advancement.
I waste a great deal of time feeling "bad" because I can't make myself look as pretty as I would like-- (no time for curling hair etc.) Even when I DO get the time, I am still unsatisfied with my appearance. This is not conducive to putting me at peace. Modest dressing, however, does.

St John of the Cross, a Carmelite Doctor of the Church advised us that it would bear great spiritual fruit to do the opposite of what we desire to do. Want to put two lumps of sugar in your coffee? Choose none. Tempted to watch TV? Pray instead. Want to kick your feet up? Do some dishes. Enjoy dressing up and wearing lots of accessories, etc? Wear Hijab.
This negation, when it isn't rooted in a weird, legalistic place ends up satisfying us with a more pure satisfaction, because we are constantly trying to find pleasure and enjoyment in the creation, but what we REALLY earnestly desire is the CreatOR. These practices help us to find all we need in Him. Is it extreme? Totally. But I serve an extreme God, who was willing to DIE on the cross for my sins. It isn't too much for me to do something like this to draw closer to Him, to be able to hear Him more clearly and contemplate His presence here with me.

Which brings me to the second point I wanted to make, and this one relates to a lesson I've learned in prayer combined with the practice of wearing modest clothing.
As I said before, about a month before my husband approached me about wearing a headcovering, I had REALLY been struggling with my faith in Vatican II as a "legitimate" council. I'll be honest-- I still am and really always have been. So one of the things that kept coming up on my radar and sort of "bleeping" at me was this question of the new Catechism saying that Muslims and Catholics serve the same God. As a former evangelical who FIRMLY believes that Allah is not the same God as the God of the Bible, I have major issues with this statement as it is written in the Catechism.
Any Catholic should-- it is totally inconsistent with what we know about Christianity and what we know about Islam. (Islam, for example, denies the Holy Trinity -- big no, no if you're a Christian-- and also denies the whole point of Christianity, which is that Jesus Christ, who was fully God and fully man, died on the cross for our sins.) How can this be the same God? For me, this is a blaring inconsistency added by Vatican II that makes me shudder... and wonder if those SSPXers aren't right after all. Still, to keep the faith, despite the turmoil within... for the gates of hell shall not prevail....

But I digress. As I attempt to reconcile what I am sure I concretely "know" as truth
to what, I will freely admit were some very icky feelings I had begun to harbor towards muslims because of 9-11,and the last few years of religious debate going on in internet-land, and having decided to believe John of the Cross who says "Where there is no love, put love, and there you will find love," (Amen!) I committed to doing something which I have never done before. I chose a "people group" as we say in Evangelical-land that I wanted to pray for a better relationship with and an opportunity to minister to, and I began to pray in conjunction with them-- strategically-- for their conversion (which, in Catholic terms means "for them to be drawn into Union with God)

Muslims pray five times a day. When the prayer time rings/calls/alarms, they make wudu, which means that they take care to wash hands, feet and faces. They cover up their hair and bodies. They get out a prayer rug. They orient their bodies towards the east, where the kaaba is. They say their prayers. And then they go back to doing what they were doing (sleep, work, school, watching Tv... whatever.)

This is very similar to what Catholics monastics do, of course. The liturgy of the hours causes me to stop seven times during the day, place myself in the presence of God and say a series of prayers. The difference between me and a muslim woman, though, is profound. Her first call to prayer goes off at around 4 am, as does mine. But hers requires her to get up, change her clothes, her position, etc... whereas I can sit in my bed and say mine.
Meditating on this, I decided that if muslim women were able to dress differently, look different "in the world" and abnegate their personal vanity in order to serve God, and I was going to join them in doing so, then I certainly could join them in making the extra efforts to pray worthily.

What better way to get a feel for the experience of life of muslims, to learn to love them more and better, and to truly understand them, than to do something like this? Likewise, how shameful that Christians, who profess to serve the "True" God and believe it to be so, don't OUT DO Muslims in their pious practices and in their exercise of virtue? How dare we say we believe or that Muslims must be converted if we are not willing to do what they do and more to serve our own God? Christians could learn quite a bit from the fervent love for God which is professed each time a woman goes out in her hijab or each time prayer takes precedent over sleep, food, or other pleasures.
Further, if, as the catechism alleges, we worship the same God, would He not be MORE pleased to see us encouraging each other in our pious practices and in our worship than to see us looking down one upon the other? Surely it is good for us to be blameless in the sight of ALL people. How many Muslims find solace and "truth" in their religion because they look to our churches and see them filled with hypocrites-- with women wearing practically nothing who profess to be believers? How much would this change if Christian women were not so obstinate in their "freedom" to dress as they pleased?

With this in mind, I downloaded an app to my iphone which calls me to prayer at the same time as all of the Muslims in my time zone. When the alarm goes off, I make wudu the only way I know how- I wash my hands, feet, and face... and then bless myself with Holy Water since the whole point of Wudu as I understand it is for purification of the senses. I cover my hair. I get out a prayer rug which I had been given as a gift more than five years ago and never used. And I orient myself towards the nearest Tabernacle. I pray the prayer of the angel at Fatima, a prayer of reparation for blasphemy against the Holy Trinity. And then I pray an act of consecration for the world to the Sacred Heart of Jesus which specifically mentions Islam.
I've been considering learning the Our Father and the Hail Mary and Apostles Creed in Arabic because we are now attending a Maronite Church and these will probably come in handy some day anyways. And while I'm at it, I usually pray the LOH.
The angel at Fatima taught the children to pray in a manner very similar to the way muslims pray, with their faces against the ground. And so I do this--- offering up this sacrifice of praise as an act of reparation but also as a way to unite my prayers to those of muslims everywhere who seek to please the One God who made heaven and earth... in particular for their individual conversions and enlightenment of their understanding of who God is.

It is HARD and inconvenient stopping what I'm doing each day to pray at the appointed times. Unlike the LOH, which has specific guidelines but which gives you a lot of leeway as far as the clock goes, these muslim prayers are to happen at specific times. As a result I am totally amazed at the level of commitment that it takes to actually pray them. This makes me realize the mercy that God has for fervent muslims.
More importantly, it helps me to pray for their spiritual welfare and to stop thinking of them with my "us vs them" mentality, rather seeing them as fellow human beings, worthy of great dignity, earnestly striving for God's truth.

May we Catholics always be a shining beacon of light for Muslim people. Amen.

Monday, June 14, 2010

More on headcovering and the mission

Today marks the beginning of the second week that I've gone back to headcovering fulltime.

This has been a fascinating branch of my faith-journey, one that has been completely filled with God's gentle direction. Because I have lots of internet-sisters in Christian headcovering, but none in real life, I thought I would share a little bit about it.

For those of you who don't know, I used to cover my head regularly while in college. This was after I had gotten serious with God and wanted to do something to help to both tame my vanity, which was just completely out of control, while simultaneously boosting my "self-esteem" (at least, my sense of being loved and cared for by God) and in a sense by making reparation (though I didn't know what that meant at the time)for my overtly sinful sexual history.
At the time, I felt compelled to wear clothes that were basically in accordance with the Jewish laws of modesty: 3/4 length skirts, 3/4 length tops, and a veil of some sort (I usually wore a square headscarf folded in two and secured behind my neck)



This was a "halfway point" between the world of lowrise jeans and the world of abaya-wearing muslimahs, and my friends (none of whom felt compelled to cover their heads, despite what the Bible says) didn't seem to think I was that weird.
And fortunately, it was UN-covered enough that if/when I went out on the weekends and "forgot my religion" so to speak... (and let's face it, there were MANY moments like these before I started taking my faith seriously!) no one noticed a big "difference" in the way that I dressed. In fact, lots of people never even noticed that I covered regularly at all.. It was covering on the sly.

I stopped headcovering about five years later, when I joined the US ARMY, and thereafter because I got married and my husband didn't particularly like the idea.

When my husband and I first came back to the issue this year--- he being a much more enthusiastic supporter of headcovering now than he was then-- it became obvious to me that I had never TRULY considered my own modesty. It was fun to observe Tznius, and it certainly "FELT" holy, but it was also not a permanent mark on me.. something that people around me could define me by. (Not because of any modesty deficiency in clothes that reflect Jewish spirituality, but because it isn't really THAT different from what your average, modest, non-headcovering woman would wear.)

This time around, we recognized that this was something which we would be forced to consider more deeply than just "leaving the house with a covering on." When I wear the scarf, I am perpetually made aware of certain things because it is a constant reminder. (it gets hot, it gets snagged on stuff, everyone stares, etc.)This makes it something to consider before you take it on, not something to begin rashly. After all, the world is watching. It takes prudence.

When people know / assume you cover for religious reasons, you think twice about your public actions. When you wear the scarf in private as well-- it's the same story for your private actions. This is a great incentive to wear the veil-- it guarantees to help you with resistance against habitual sin.

Now, when you wear a specific STYLE of scarf, it speaks to a specific culture. There is a whole "look" that goes with that that you cannot simply ignore--- for example, wearing an abaya (long, full coverage overdress) and a kerchief or bonnet would look strange to people, as they associate the abaya with Hijab, the islamic dress code. Likewise, one cannot wear a sleeveless shirt and a scarf that covers the head AND neck. It looks silly as a fashion statement... and makes no theological sense. There are other considerations to be made as well. Recently I was out in a "very covered" outfit (nothing showing but my face, a strip of my hair, and my hands and feet. I realized that people around me probably assumed that I was a muslim. Some of them may even BE muslims. Which made me scarfing down my usual two strips of bacon with my breakfast kinda iffy--- I didn't want to scandalize anyone or worse, get chewed out by someone for eating food that was obviously not "OK." At the same time, I'm NOT a practicing Jew, and I'm NOT a Muslim. So why should it bother me to eat bacon in public? In the end, I opt to avoid the bacon, which gives me an opportunity to make a small sacrifice, and also to make a gesture of goodwill towards people who are trying to serve God the best way they know how (like, by not eating bacon.)
Sounds complex, huh? It gets worse.

There's the whole Muslim issue. It goes without saying that when you cover in the most modest and sensible (and fuss-free) manner, you look like a Muslim to 99 percent of the world. But that's because people don't know their history. Veiling in that manner is FAR older than Islam and is actually, before anything else, a cultural phenomenon that has represented different things at different times.

That being said...Judaism, Christianity and Islam all prescribe headcovering and modesty, and for most of the history of the world women have been covered, at least in prayer. One can hardly imagine a painting or statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, for example, without her veil... it's a part of who she is.

It isn't "FAIR" that you get thought of as a Muslim when you cover your head, but it is what it is. When I first returned to the Catholic Church I was overjoyed that I could cover my head without being the weird one. Surprise! I was the only one in my parish who did. I guess the times they have a-changed. :P

I continued to choose a stole (my favorite) over a "chapel veil" for some time, until I gave up and started using a chapel veil (they have definitely grown on me!) Suddenly lots of women in my parish seemed interested and began to cover-- I guess all it took was not looking so.... Muslim. :P
Which is why I LOVE it (and kick myself for wearing a chapel veil instead of a face framing stole) when I see an arab or indian Catholic woman at mass-- they almost always end up wearing the most stunning and simple "muslim-looking" outfits and giving me hope that someday I can just be accepted in these types of clothes without having to explain myself.

All this to say that there are plenty of factors that get put into the decision to begin veiling again, and they are not things we should take lightly. My veil makes me a witness to the world, and demonstrates my interior desire to be set apart. But hidden behind the veil lies a heart which must choose to do good or the veil becomes meaningless.

In Christianity, we are commanded to be modest. But we are not given guidelines as far as what that means. Catholics have, in the past, been encouraged to ask themselves "How would Mary dress?" and to inquire whether they are putting forth an image which is chaste and subdued. In one apparition, the Blessed Mother herself even warned us that "certain fashions would arise which would greatly offend our Lord." I am certain this is the case when I look around today at what new lows "liberated" women have sunk to in their selection of attire. Frankly, the further away I get from a culture which is saturated with dirty, wrongful sex, the more disgusted I become with today's "fashion," which offends the dignity of women and draws lust at every occasion.
The veil, however, is not about modesty in Christianity. We are commanded to veil in SUBMISSION... out of obedience towards God and "as a sign for the angels," according to St Paul.
Who would want to miss this blessing--that angels take to flight at our prayers because of our submission to God?
In Catholicism, we veil those things which are precious and sacramental... which are reserved for God and those men who are his. This is one last and final reason why veiling, in my eyes, is a gift to women.

In short-- when we make a decision to veil, we must give up quite a bit. Our "freedom" to choose whatever we want to wear according to moods and seasons is restricted, albeit willingly. We will no longer be lusted-after (God willing!) and harassed by men in the streets. We will no longer be "looked up to" by worldly-minded women. People will stare. They will wonder what's wrong with us. They will even be rude!
On the other hand, we acquire God's blessing in a special way. We are given grace which assists us in being freed from many of our habitual sins. We are made holy, and precious in His sight. Most importantly, we are protected... to veil is to protect ourselves from our own sin and the sins of others, and to protect others in society from our own sin and their own sin. What better thing to do if we truly WANT to be Holy and accept Christ's destiny for us?

So, obviously, the minute my husband began to show interest I was ALL OVER the question and anxious to get started again. Longtime blog readers now that I have always worn a veil over my heart. ;)
How would I do it? The first week or so of praying about it I found that my vanity actually INCREASED. I worried about what was too "over the top," and ways to make it easier to NOT veil for certain occasions etc.

You see, for Muslim women and Jewish women who decide to veil, it is relatively easy-- there are laws set in place and one must only submit to them. Christianity, however, is not so simple. We must seek the Holy Spirit, and test the spirit when we get an answer. We must submit to certain authorities (the Church, our husbands.)
We must consider compassion and generosity towards others. (will I cause a scandal by doing this?)
With all this in mind, here are the "rules" for headcovering that my husband and I came up with for myself.



First, I will not get so bent out of shape over the TYPE of covering that it will cause me to pay more attention to the covering than to what is truly important. What that means is that while I will cover a certain way most of the time (Full, face framing wrap) I will not flip out if, while in a hurry to leave the house or when going into a particular situation which makes this type of covering impractical or imprudent, I am not able to cover in the manner I have chosen. Ie... if the situation arises that I have to wear a bandanna or -gasp- nothing, I am not to flip out. This guards me from my vanity and keeps me from legalism.

Secondly, I will strive to wear it in conjunction with truly modest clothing or not at all. For us... modest meant long skirts/(feminine) pants and at least 3/4 sleeves which are not form fitting and which are not cut far below the collarbone.
This rigidity helps me not to spend hours fretting about what to wear...it simplifies my daily decisions and helps me to always stay on the "safe side."

ThirdI will wear the veil at all times when in public, and strive to wear it when I am at home but around men whom I would not consider "family." I will also wear it at all times during liturgical prayer. (Mass, Divine Office, etc)

FourthIn keeping with the Carmelite Rule to which I am bound, I will NOT spend endless amounts of time/money on superficial methods of bypassing the fact that I am wearing modest clothes by making them particularly "adapted" to modern culture. *this means that I wont shop til I drop for cute scarves and whatnot, but rather just take and accept that which is given to me and purchase as needed without going into excess. I don't need a CLOSET full of modest clothes. Modesty means temperance in my appearance, which means I don't need to spend "extra" time or money other than what it takes to make myself look presentable and clean, ie.respectable.

Fifth I will strive to remember that "pretty" starts within and that external "prettiness" is a result of internal peace with God. One is a virtue. The other is not.

And so, with that in mind ,I embarked last week on this new headcovering journey.
So far it has been totally interesting. I live in "The All American City," on a military base, and that makes this whole "looking like a Muslim" experience all the more interesting since many of these people are the wives of soldiers, and the soldiers themselves, who are out "hunting terrorists" in Iraq and Afghanistan. This makes me a little nervous, as people have not been shy about expressing their distaste for me in a few places I've been. It's an eye opener, and when the opportunity has arisen for me to confront people with their own bigotry by actually sparking up a conversation, for example, with an offender-- or worse yet, by confusing the heck out of them by making the sign of the cross before eating or pulling out my bible... well, it truly becomes, I think, a testament to the strength of Faith in Christ when they become aware that not only am I willing to be ridiculed like this but even MORE so than a Muslim, for whom it might be "forgiveable" since a muslim "doesn't know any better... they have to."

No, I am CHOOSING to cover, and choosing the hardest road of covering completely. This is a great mystery to most people, and a great sign to them of the power of faith in Christ if I remember that they are watching and that I am to be for them a sign of peace with my maker.

The funniest thing I've noticed thus far has been the rednecks who openly gawk. At the doctor's office the other day a woman actually told me "WOW, ma'am, you sure speak English good!" (hah!) and another asked me where I learned to speak it.

And of course, the never-ending choruses of "aren't you HOT under there?" (after all, it's 100 or so here in the south) are entertaining. In case you're wondering... no, I'm NOT hot. I'm actually cooler under all these loose, breathable clothes than I am in a tube top and shorts. True story.

But one of the best effects, and this is the one that honestly keeps me so in love with covering, is the bond of love you feel towards your human sisters who walk the path of headcovering with you, no matter what their motive (religious or illness or otherwise.) One of the most amazing things in the world is the instant connection you have with any other modestly-dressed woman you might encounter-- its' a true sisterhood, and through it love has broken down walls and Christ has been clearly proclaimed.

For many years Wayne and I wanted to be missionaries in distant lands... particularly along Mediterranean, Middle Eastern, and Indian cultures. God has still not granted us this "wish" although it still burns in our hearts. And we are at peace with that, believing in His timing and judgement. But in the strangest manner, He has led us here, in our community, to love Indians, Middle Easterners, and Mediterranean people who just "happen" across our path, over and over again. A pious woman with modest attire, who is not swayed by the world is a true bridge to unity and ministry... through this simple act of covering my hair and body, I am able to make a way into a cultures which are closed to Christianity and to the Christian message of love of God and neighbor. Ultimately, it helps me to know women who go through the same thing, and to see that despite VAST religious differences, underneath it all we are not that different, and that we both want with all our hearts to do good and be good.

Before my husband came to me with a request to cover my head again, I had committed, by discernment, to stopping whatever I was doing and praying for Muslims at each call of the daily muslim prayer times. I downloaded an islamic app to my iphone which acts as an azan clock, and with every call to prayer I get on my knees and recite the prayers the Angel at Fatima told the children to pray in a clear-cut message that Mary was coming for Muslims there as well. Then I pray an act of consecration of the human race to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. And as I have done this consistently, I have found that God has made way for me to connect with more muslim families, who I can pray for, and love on, and serve. He has also helped me to heal from a very real distrust of Muslim people's intentions.... because of my "fundamentalist" attitude in terms of religion, it is easy to see MUSLIMS as the enemy, forgetting that our warfare is with powers and principalities, not PEOPLE.

When my husband asked me to cover in the traditional "hijab" style, and when, in turn, I have then often been mistaken for a Muslim, followers of a religion which is so at odds with Christianity and which is seen as the terrorizing force behind much of the fear we experience in the west today, it has been such a blessing to me to know that God has set this path before each of us, and we have but to say yes as things come up and He paints a beautiful portrait with our lives.

Ironically, the peace I have found in this practice, and in particular as it relates to the missionary call of Christ to love and serve Muslims in our communities, has been the only thing which kept me from going off the deep end when I recently had a big "crisis of faith."
As a protestant, it was so easy: Islam is bad, Christianity is good. End of story. Thus all muslims must become Christians. End of Story.
But what this did was alienate Wayne and I from the very cultures which we felt led to serve.... it created in us an "us vs them" mentality which we could not shake. I will blog more, hopefully tomorrow as I've been meaning to write this for ages, on the change that has been created in our hearts... but for now suffice to say that we have simply learned to truly serve and love the Muslims we encounter, with no strings attached, and this has paved the way for the Gospel of Peace.
Because of this simple, small act: because I cover my head, I was able to find peace where before there had been none, and at at time when the very foundations of my faith were being shaken. I thank God every day for his wisdom.

Finally, I can attest to the glory of the covering for women in Orders. Wearing the covering has been such a fulfillment of the Carmelite Way of Life that I have been called to and is, in an even visible way, a special "clothing" in grace, a grace that overflows from the Brown Scapular of Mount Carmel-- a grace which promises that when we wear the garment, the grace washes over us. Not because we wear it, but because BY wearing it we are reminded and we remind that we choose to lay down our lives for the One who made us. Amen!
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