The Bedtime Shema

THE BEDTIME SHEMA -- Jewish evening prayer (The equivalent of our Compline Prayer)

Read it below, so that you, Christian readers, may see the depth and bond of brotherhood you should feel with all people who recite this lovingly before retiring. Traditionally, when you recite the Shema, you cover your eyes, focusing intently on God's Sovereignty. There is an old Jewish tale that some of the Jewish children who were hidden in monastaries during the war (many were handed over to Christian families, monastaries, and orphanages) had little memory of their "jewishness" once the war was over. Persistent rabbis attempted to come and retrieve them, since most of their parents were dead. The story goes that some of the children, now fully "Christianized," were all laying in bed in their neat little rows in the monastary orphanage. After a brief argument at the door because of the rabbi's inability to "prove" that the children were indeed Jewish because of lack of documentation, the Rabbi was allowed into the room to examine the children briefly.

He  walked down the aisle between their beds, calling out: (They) slowly walked through the aisles of beds, calling out, "Shema Yisrael--(Hear, Israel), the Lord is our God, the Lord is One!" And one by one, children here and there burst into tears and shrieked, "Mommy!" "Maman!" "Momma!" "Mamushka!" in each of their native languages.

Here is the text, then, of the Bedtime Shema-- the Jewish Night Prayer. Please take a moment to read it if you are unfamiliar, and to try to understand. 

Master of the universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or who sinned against me — whether against my body, my property, my honor or against anything of mine; whether he did so accidentally, willfully, carelessly, or purposely; whether through speech, deed, thought, or notion; whether in this transmigration or another transmigration — I forgive every Jew. May no man be punished because of me. May it will be Your will, HASHEM, my God and the God of my forefathers, that I may sin no more. Whatever sins I have done before You, may You blot out in Your abundant mercies, but not through suffering or bad illnesses. May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, HASHEM, my Rock and my Redeemer.1

Blessed are You, HASHEM, our God, KING of the universe, who casts the bonds of sleep upon my eyes and slumber upon my eyelids. May it be Your will, HASHEM, my God and the God of my forefathers, that You lay me down to sleep in peace and rise me erect in peace. May my ideas, bad dreams, and bad notions not confound me; may my offspring be perfect before You, and may You illuminate my eyes lest I die in sleep,2Who illuminates the pupil of the eye. Blessed are You, Hashem, Who illuminates the entire world with His glory.

God, trustworthy King.

Recite the first verse aloud, with the right hand covering the eyes,and concentrate intensely upon accepting God's absolute sovereignty.

(Hear, O Israel: HASHEM is our God,
HASHEM, the One and Only. 3)

In an undertone: 

Blessed is the Name of His glorious kingdom for all eternity.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

You shall love HASHEM, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your resources. Let these matters that I command you today be upon your heart. Teach them thoroughly to your children and speak of them while you sit in your home, while you walk on the way, when you retire and when you arise. Bind them as a sign upon your arm and let them be tefillin between your eyes. And write them on the doorposts of your house and upon your gates.

May the pleasantness of my Lord, our God, be upon us — may He establish our handiwork for us; our handiwork may He establish.4(1) Psalms 19:15. (2) Cf. 13:4. (3) Deuteronomy 6:4. (4) Psalms 90:17.

Psalm 91

Whoever sits in the refuge of the Most High, he shall dwell in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of HASHEM, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, I will trust in Him." For He will deliver you from the ensnaring trap, from devastating pestilence. With His pinion He will cover you, and beneath His wings you will be protected; shield and armor is His truth. You shall not fear the terror of night; nor the arrow that flies by day; nor the pestilence that walks in gloom; nor the destroyer who lays waste at noon. Let a thousand encamp at your side and myriad at your right hand, but to you they shall not approach. You will merely peer with your eyes and you will see retribution of the wicked. Because [you said,] "You, HASHEM, are my refuge," you have made the Most High your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent. He will charge His angels for you, to protect you in all your ways. On your palms they will carry you, lest you strike your foot against a stone. Upon the lion and the viper you will tread; you will trample the young lion and the serpent. For he has yearned for Me and I will deliver him; I will elevate him because he knows My Name. He will call upon Me and I will answer him, I am with him in distress, I will release him and I will honor him. With long life will I satisfy him, and I will show him My salvation. With long life will I satisfy him, and I will show him My salvation.

Psalm 3:2-9

HASHEM, how many are my tormentors! The great rise up against me! The great say of my soul. "There is no salvation for him from God — Selah!" But You HASHEM are a shield for me, for my soul, and the One Who raises my head. With my voice I call out to HASHEM, and He answers me f rom His holy mountain — Selah. I lay down and slept, yet I awoke, for HASHEM supports me. I fear not the myriad people deployed against me from every side. Rise up, HASHEM; save me, my God; for You struck all of my enemies on the cheek, you broke the teeth of the wicked. Salvation is HASHEM's, upon Your people is Your blessing — Selah.

Lay us down to sleep, HASHEM, our God, in peace, raise us erect, our King, to life; and spread over us the shelter of your peace. Set us aright with good counsel from before Your Presence, and save us for Your Name's sake. Shield us, remove from us foe, plague, sword, famine, and woe; and remove spiritual impediment from before us and behind us, and in the shadow of your wings shelter us1 — for God Who protects and rescues us are You; for God, the Gracious and Compassionate King, are You. 2 Safeguard our going and coming — for life and for peace — from now to eternity.3(1) Cf. Psalms 17:18. (2) Cf. Nechemiah 9:31. (3) Psalms 121:8.

Blessed is HASHEM by day; blessed is HASHEM by night; blessed is HASHEM when we retire; blessed is HASHEM when we arise. For in Your hand are the souls of the living and the dead. He in Whose hand is the soul of all the living and the spirit of every human being.1 In Your hand I shall entrust my spirit, You redeemed me, HASHEM, God of truth.2 Our God, Who is in heaven, bring unity to your Name; establish Your kingdom forever and reign over us for all eternity.

May our eyes see, our heart rejoice and our soul exult in Your salvation in truth, when Zion is told, "Your God has reigned!" 3 HASHEM reigns,4 HASHEM has reigned,5 HASHEM will reign for all eternity.6For the kingdom is Yours and You will reign for all eternity in glory, for we have no King but You.

May the angel who redeems me from all evil bless the lads, and may my name be declared upon them — and the names of my forefathers Abraham and Isaac — and may they proliferate abundantly like fish within the land.7

He said: "If you diligently heed the voice of HASHEM, your God, and do what is proper in His eyes, and you listen closely to His commandments and observe His decrees — the entire malady that I inflicted upon Egypt I will not inflict upon you, for I am HASHEM your Healer." 8

HASHEM said to the Satan, "HASHEM shall denounce you, O Satan, and HASHEM, Who selects Jerusalem, shall denounce you again. This is indeed a firebrand rescued from flames." 9

Behold! The couch of Shlomo! Sixty mighty ones round about it, of the mighty ones of Israel. All gripping the sword, learned in warfare, each with his sword on his thigh, from fear in the nights.10

Recite three times:

May HASHEM bless you and safeguard you. May HASHEM illuminate His countenance for you and be gracious to you: May HASHEM turn His face toward you and establish peace for you.11

Recite three times:

Behold, the Guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.12

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(1) Job 12:10. (2) Psalms 31:6. (3) Cf. Isaiah 52:7. (4) Psalms 10:16.
(5) 93:1 et al. (6) Exodus 15:18. (7) Genesis 48:16. (8) Exodus 15:26.
(9) Zechariah 3:2. (10) Song of Songs 3:7-8. (11) Numbers 6:24-26. (12) Psalms 121:4.

Recite three times:

For Your salvation do I long, HASHEM.1 I do long, HASHEM, for your salvation. HASHEM, for Your salvation do I long.

Recite three times:

In the Name of HASHEM, God of Israel: may Michael be at my right, Gabriel at my left, Uriel before me, and Raphael behind me; and above my head the Presence of God.

Psalm 128

A song of ascents. Praiseworthy is each person who fears HASHEM, who walks in His paths. When you eat the labor of your hands, you are praiseworthy, and it is well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the inner chambers of your home; your children shall be like olive shoots surrounding your table. Behold! For so is blessed the man who fears HASHEM. May HASHEM bless you from Zion, and may you gaze upon the goodness of Jerusalem, all the days of your life. And may you see children born to children, peace upon Israel.

Recite three times:

Tremble and sin not. Reflect in your hearts while on your beds, and be utterly silent. Selah. 2

Master of the universe. Who reigned
before any form was created,
At the time when His will brought all into being —
then as "King" was His Name proclaimed.
After all has ceased to be,
He, the Awesome One, will reign alone.
It is He Who was, He Who is,
and He Who shall remain, in splendor.
He is One — there is no second
to compare to Him, to declare as His equal.
Without beginning, without conclusion —
His is the power and dominion.
He is my God, my living Redeemer,
Rock of my pain in time of distress.
He is my banner, a refuge for me,
the portion in my cup on the day I call.
Into His hand I shall entrust my spirit
when I go to sleep — and I shall awaken!
With my spirit shall my body remain.
HASHEM is with me, I shall not fear.

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(1) Genesis 49:18. (2) Psalms 4:5.

The first prayer, in which forgiveness is given and asked for, is a favorite one for me-- reminding me of our own "examination of conscience" made just before Compline. It is hard to say those words, impossible even, to God if we are lying. As we read them, images from our day pop up before us-- faces we must forgive. It's powerful.

I love the rest as well and read it often at bedtime to the kids, loving especially the part that reads: "May the angel who redeems me from all evil bless the lads, and may my name be declared upon them — and the names of my forefathers Abraham and Isaac — and may they proliferate abundantly like fish within the land." 

WOULD that our Catholic families would pray this often and understand especially the last portion of that prayer, and see that Children are an inheritance and a blessing.

I hope you enjoyed reading and that you walk away from the experience with a deeper understanding of what unifies Christians and Jews as believers in the One Eternal God who created us, called us, and reigns above all. It is especially sweet to me to think of Our Blessed Mother lovingly teaching the Child Jesus the Shema on his bed.  

Pax!

Lessons in a life of prayer

I promised the other day that I would write a little bit about some further insights I have gained through the practice of complete modesty in dress.

The first thing is that because I am a Christian and not a Muslim, the purpose of my headcovering is Obedience to God and a demonstration that I am submitted to the proper authority. It is NOT out of modesty. Thus I am commanded to cover when I pray or prophesy in 1 Corinthians 11 as a sign to the angels, and later in 1 Timothy to pray without ceasing.
Where a muslim woman who spent as much time at home as I do (and many of them do) might spend all that time UNcovered, I am not technically supposed to. That being said, I find that going uncovered at home and putting on a veil when I am CONSCIOUSLY about to stop and pray has been a practice that increased the "gravity" of the moment when I actually stop and turn to God. Because of that I am basically NOT covering at home unless I am stopping to pray. More on that in a moment.

Modesty is not something that comes naturally to me. I'm not very "aware" of my latent sensuality and I'll be honest, since having my children I am certainly no longer the sexy young thang that I used to be, so I don't totally see the "necessity" of it in my current state. I grew up on the beaches of southern France and south California and we certainly didn't wear much either place. I no longer really struggle much with lust or inappropriate sexual behavior, so it's just kind of a non-issue. UNTIL I stop and think about others. That's when it becomes crystal clear that we SHOULD pay attention to what we do/wear. That modesty is more than just "covering up..." because I can tell you that you can cover from head to toe, but if your HEART isn't modest, it shows RIGHT through your clothes.
Muslim women have a practice of not looking non-related men in the eye. What an incredible testament to their commitment to chastity! Would that we would similarly be so concerned.

It is hard for me, each day, to step outside covered. I don't mind covering my hair-- I actually love that part, but to cover the rest of me makes me very uncomfortable.
Well, let me explain that better. The ACTUAL comfort level of my body is much improved. I am free to move whichever way I choose without giving it much thought, and if I am smart about it, it's actually easier to stay cool on hot days and warm on cold days. It is a HUGE blessing to me never to have to tug at a creeping shirt again, or to worry about pulling clothes any direction to cover my post-baby body or my milk factory. Jeans have ALWAYS fallen right off me (I have no butt) so I find that wearing Hijab (and I actually have been wearing an Abaya or overgarment) is SUPER comfy... I don't have to stress out about pulling my pants up every time I stand, etc.
On the other hand, it takes some serious guts to go out with nothing hanging out. I have to tell you, EVEN WITHOUT THE HEADCOVERING people stare, stare, stare at you if you are wearing a long dress that goes down to your wrists and ankles.
This makes me nervous and also makes me feel like I'm not pretty, which of course is simply not true. I am obviously a victim of my culture because to leave the house THIS covered up makes me feel like I look ugly.
Many of you will ask... why do it, then? The answer is that it seems clear to me from my response that I attach too much importance to fashion and the way I look. The reality is that I am happily married to a man who thinks I am beautiful, and that I am a busy mother to three young children. I have no need to be "fashionable" other than to "make myself feel good..." and the truth is that in doing the opposite of what I "desire" to do I am able to emotionally detach from that very need and instead cleave to God, which is spiritual advancement.
I waste a great deal of time feeling "bad" because I can't make myself look as pretty as I would like-- (no time for curling hair etc.) Even when I DO get the time, I am still unsatisfied with my appearance. This is not conducive to putting me at peace. Modest dressing, however, does.

St John of the Cross, a Carmelite Doctor of the Church advised us that it would bear great spiritual fruit to do the opposite of what we desire to do. Want to put two lumps of sugar in your coffee? Choose none. Tempted to watch TV? Pray instead. Want to kick your feet up? Do some dishes. Enjoy dressing up and wearing lots of accessories, etc? Wear Hijab.
This negation, when it isn't rooted in a weird, legalistic place ends up satisfying us with a more pure satisfaction, because we are constantly trying to find pleasure and enjoyment in the creation, but what we REALLY earnestly desire is the CreatOR. These practices help us to find all we need in Him. Is it extreme? Totally. But I serve an extreme God, who was willing to DIE on the cross for my sins. It isn't too much for me to do something like this to draw closer to Him, to be able to hear Him more clearly and contemplate His presence here with me.

Which brings me to the second point I wanted to make, and this one relates to a lesson I've learned in prayer combined with the practice of wearing modest clothing.
As I said before, about a month before my husband approached me about wearing a headcovering, I had REALLY been struggling with my faith in Vatican II as a "legitimate" council. I'll be honest-- I still am and really always have been. So one of the things that kept coming up on my radar and sort of "bleeping" at me was this question of the new Catechism saying that Muslims and Catholics serve the same God. As a former evangelical who FIRMLY believes that Allah is not the same God as the God of the Bible, I have major issues with this statement as it is written in the Catechism.
Any Catholic should-- it is totally inconsistent with what we know about Christianity and what we know about Islam. (Islam, for example, denies the Holy Trinity -- big no, no if you're a Christian-- and also denies the whole point of Christianity, which is that Jesus Christ, who was fully God and fully man, died on the cross for our sins.) How can this be the same God? For me, this is a blaring inconsistency added by Vatican II that makes me shudder... and wonder if those SSPXers aren't right after all. Still, to keep the faith, despite the turmoil within... for the gates of hell shall not prevail....

But I digress. As I attempt to reconcile what I am sure I concretely "know" as truth
to what, I will freely admit were some very icky feelings I had begun to harbor towards muslims because of 9-11,and the last few years of religious debate going on in internet-land, and having decided to believe John of the Cross who says "Where there is no love, put love, and there you will find love," (Amen!) I committed to doing something which I have never done before. I chose a "people group" as we say in Evangelical-land that I wanted to pray for a better relationship with and an opportunity to minister to, and I began to pray in conjunction with them-- strategically-- for their conversion (which, in Catholic terms means "for them to be drawn into Union with God)

Muslims pray five times a day. When the prayer time rings/calls/alarms, they make wudu, which means that they take care to wash hands, feet and faces. They cover up their hair and bodies. They get out a prayer rug. They orient their bodies towards the east, where the kaaba is. They say their prayers. And then they go back to doing what they were doing (sleep, work, school, watching Tv... whatever.)

This is very similar to what Catholics monastics do, of course. The liturgy of the hours causes me to stop seven times during the day, place myself in the presence of God and say a series of prayers. The difference between me and a muslim woman, though, is profound. Her first call to prayer goes off at around 4 am, as does mine. But hers requires her to get up, change her clothes, her position, etc... whereas I can sit in my bed and say mine.
Meditating on this, I decided that if muslim women were able to dress differently, look different "in the world" and abnegate their personal vanity in order to serve God, and I was going to join them in doing so, then I certainly could join them in making the extra efforts to pray worthily.

What better way to get a feel for the experience of life of muslims, to learn to love them more and better, and to truly understand them, than to do something like this? Likewise, how shameful that Christians, who profess to serve the "True" God and believe it to be so, don't OUT DO Muslims in their pious practices and in their exercise of virtue? How dare we say we believe or that Muslims must be converted if we are not willing to do what they do and more to serve our own God? Christians could learn quite a bit from the fervent love for God which is professed each time a woman goes out in her hijab or each time prayer takes precedent over sleep, food, or other pleasures.
Further, if, as the catechism alleges, we worship the same God, would He not be MORE pleased to see us encouraging each other in our pious practices and in our worship than to see us looking down one upon the other? Surely it is good for us to be blameless in the sight of ALL people. How many Muslims find solace and "truth" in their religion because they look to our churches and see them filled with hypocrites-- with women wearing practically nothing who profess to be believers? How much would this change if Christian women were not so obstinate in their "freedom" to dress as they pleased?

With this in mind, I downloaded an app to my iphone which calls me to prayer at the same time as all of the Muslims in my time zone. When the alarm goes off, I make wudu the only way I know how- I wash my hands, feet, and face... and then bless myself with Holy Water since the whole point of Wudu as I understand it is for purification of the senses. I cover my hair. I get out a prayer rug which I had been given as a gift more than five years ago and never used. And I orient myself towards the nearest Tabernacle. I pray the prayer of the angel at Fatima, a prayer of reparation for blasphemy against the Holy Trinity. And then I pray an act of consecration for the world to the Sacred Heart of Jesus which specifically mentions Islam.
I've been considering learning the Our Father and the Hail Mary and Apostles Creed in Arabic because we are now attending a Maronite Church and these will probably come in handy some day anyways. And while I'm at it, I usually pray the LOH.
The angel at Fatima taught the children to pray in a manner very similar to the way muslims pray, with their faces against the ground. And so I do this--- offering up this sacrifice of praise as an act of reparation but also as a way to unite my prayers to those of muslims everywhere who seek to please the One God who made heaven and earth... in particular for their individual conversions and enlightenment of their understanding of who God is.

It is HARD and inconvenient stopping what I'm doing each day to pray at the appointed times. Unlike the LOH, which has specific guidelines but which gives you a lot of leeway as far as the clock goes, these muslim prayers are to happen at specific times. As a result I am totally amazed at the level of commitment that it takes to actually pray them. This makes me realize the mercy that God has for fervent muslims.
More importantly, it helps me to pray for their spiritual welfare and to stop thinking of them with my "us vs them" mentality, rather seeing them as fellow human beings, worthy of great dignity, earnestly striving for God's truth.

May we Catholics always be a shining beacon of light for Muslim people. Amen.