Today I got an email from someone who has been reading and thinking about modesty as well, but who is not really certain about where to begin and what it all means for HER.
Soooo, I thought that would be a great topic for a blog: an overview of modern clothing, some ideas on where to begin, etc etc.
First things first: History.
Historically speaking, women (and men, for that matter) have never been as "uncovered" as they are in our generation. Over time, of course, there have been fashions which rose and fell that exposed certain parts of our bodies (bustles, low bustlines.... hello?) But not until this century, and even the last forty years, have women been truly able to "bare all" the way that they do.
We have been fed the idea that this is liberation, this is freedom. But is it? It's up to you to decide. I'm not a fashion historian, but I think you'll agree that as a general rule, fashion used to be FAR more functional than flattering, and has always been about SAYING SOMETHING- making a message. If you were poor, your clothes said that you worked hard and suffered much.
If you were rich enough to afford new clothes, you chose clothes that said something about who you were. Things are not that different today, in that sense. Our clothes send a message. Modest clothes send the message that modesty is important to us.
Further, our clothes are no longer functional. Many of us have abstained from one activity or another because we were not "dressed for the occasion." What does that say about us since we are called in scripture to be "All things for all people?"
But what IS modest?
We live in a world where there are truly no more standards. Anything goes. Thus, nothing is truly shocking anymore... except radical modesty. In the city I live in, a military town, there is an abundance of "gentlemen's" (haha) clubs lining the main streets. Often times, in the late morning, strippers and their boyfriends will grab lunch and then head back to work. They do not cover up much from their "work clothes." At these moments, I've noticed, it is getting harder and harder to tell an ACTUAL stripper from a regular girl... and I've also noticed that while men continue to leer and women continue to look disgusted, very few people actually say anything to a woman dressed in a completely revealing outfit. Well, other than the whistling, cat calls, etc.
On the other hand, when I go out covered up, EVERYONE has something to say to me. It's very bizarre.
Because of this lack of standards, it's very hard to say what constitutes "modest" and what doesn't. Whereas one person may find admirable the wearing of something like this:
Another might find that totally immodest and prefer something like this:
But even then, another might see that and find it completely innapropriate, choosing instead to look like this: (and I love this picture because it was taken in my hometown and it just goes to show how totally DIFFERENT our concepts of modesty truly are...)
Even among women who wear Hijab (and thus completely observe a specific law of modesty) there is disagreement about what that entails... Abaya (overcoat) or not, cover face or not, etc. All this to say that I think the question is not so much "how much" to show but what the interior motives of your heart might be. In your particular faith tradition, there must be some sort of historical movement towards modesty and perhaps the wise choice would be to cling to that.
For example, I am a Catholic, and all traditional Catholics know that we women are called to a Mary-like modesty, to ask ourselves... would the Blessed Virgin Mary wear this? If that's too broad a question, it has been made real simple for us:
Imprimatur dated Sept. 24, 1956
"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper."
The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII
In other words, anything LESS than this would be uncatholic and immodest, anything more, it follows, would be modest enough. Catholicism lends great importance to human dignity and to individual freewill and intention. Thus, for a Catholic to cover her face would probably not be ideal. That being said, there is nothing that says a Catholic can not do so.
Women of other faiths have other guidelines to go on.... Church fathers, certain pastors they like, rabbinical regulations or Quranic verse. Whatever the case may be, if you are personally exploring modesty as an option for yourself, I would start there.
The other thing I would try to remember is that it's not only about WHAT you cover it's about HOW you do it-- in other words, you can be wearing long sleeves and long pants but if they are skintight, it's not considered modest.
The second thing I would ask myself is: "Am I willing to adopt a modest ATTITUDE alongside my new modest clothing?" If you are not, then you might as well keep dressing the way you have been all along, because you haven't changed a thing. Clothes are just clothes. Modesty is designed to help us increase in the virtue of Chastity, by which we offer ourselves a living sacrifice to God, having rigorously trained the flesh to be in submission to the Spirit. The clothes are there to help the person fight the battles of the flesh.
The Headcovering issue.
I have done and redone the headcovering issue to death, so I won't do it again here, but suffice to say that I think it's pretty clear that all three major abrahamic faiths have the same standards of modesty and of headcovering. Thus, it is my personal opinion that women should veil. That being said-- the veil adds a whole new dimension to the modesty factor in your clothing AND makes a mark on you spiritually so that I recommend starting off by JUST switching to modest clothes, since veiling without modest clothes looks strange and defeats the purpose of veiling. Then, once you are comfortable with wearing modest clothes I recommend veiling for Church and prayer, not fulltime at first. As time goes on, you will decide if it's something you can do. But you cannot do it all right off the bat and then change your mind-- the effect that has on the "watchers" around you is very real.
So what happens when you start?
After selecting the type of clothes you are planning on wearing, of course, the next step is to actually wear them. This will need to be gradual if you are making a BIG change, and can be done right away without looking back if you are making small changes. For instance... my mother in law, parents, etc are still TOTALLY wierded out by my fashion choice. So in order not to shock them too much, I try to be more discreet and less obvious about what I'm doing when I'm around them(think: long sleeve shirt and long skirt + long bandana instead of an abaya and shayla wrap.)
That being said, I highly recommend just circling a date on your calendar, once you've been "trying it" a while, and just saying "From this day forward I will get rid of all my other clothes and not look back." For me, that day is August 15 of this year, the day of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven. :-)
Also, be aware: you will get looks, you will get questions, you will get cornered. Think ahead of time about how you will respond to different scenarios, because I cannot say enough how revolutionary the act of not showing one's body is in our society.
How do I start?
The biggest recommendation I can make to you is to shop online. The stores these days are full of garbage that is unusable to a modesty-conscious woman and I cannot tell you how much time and money you will save if you buy and plan your new wardrobe online. Start by going through your closet and bagging up all the things you will no longer be wearing. Then figure out what you need more of-- usually it's layering tees and longer skirts for most women.
There is a GREAT modest clothing directory for women of ALL faith backgrounds here:
http://www.modestclothes.com/
I would recommend starting there and then filling in with some basics you are missing (I'm STILL saving up for some long sleeve tissue tees!! Haha.)
Lots of people worry about how to overcome the heat. Let me be the first to tell you: heat is not an issue when you wear modest clothing in natural fabrics (ie not polyester.) It is waaaaaaay cooler in a light colored linen abaya and dress than it is in jeans and a tee shirt. WAY cooler. Infinitely cooler. So there's that. Avoid polyester like the plague in the summer. It traps all heat close to the body.
And that's basically it. If you think about your wardrobe TOO much you will defeat the whole purpose of modesty, I think. So pick something, pray about it, stick to it, and let me know how it goes!
Welcome to the sisterhood of the modest world. It's awesome here.
Further thoughts for Catholics:
Imprimatur dated Sept. 24, 1956
"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat; which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore, dresses of transparent materials are improper."
The Cardinal Vicar of Pius XII
"The good of our soul is more important than that of our body; and we have to prefer the spiritual welfare of our neighbor to our bodily comforts. If a certain kind of dress constitutes a grave and proximate occasion of sin, and endangers the salvation of your soul and others, it is your duty to give it up. O Christian mothers, if you knew what a future of anxieties and perils, of ill-guarded shame you prepare for your sons and daughters, imprudently getting them accustomed to live scantily dressed and making them lose the sense of modesty, you would be ashamed of yourselves and you would dread the harm you are making of yourselves, the harm which you are causing these children, whom Heaven has entrusted to you to be brought up as Christians."
Pius XII to Catholic Young Women's Groups of Italy
THIS LEAFLET DISTRIBUTED BY: THE LEAGUE FOR MODESTY IN DRESS, NY
The Church speaks about Modesty
Pope Benedict XV has taught very clearly about modesty in an encyclical letter (Sacra Propediem, 1921), commemorating the 7th centenary of the founding of the Franciscan Third Order.
"One can not sufficiently deplore the blindness of so many women of every age and station. Made foolish by a desire to please, they do not see to what degree the indecency of their clothing shocks every honest man and offends God. Most of them would formerly have blushed for such apparel as for a grave fault against Christian modesty. Now it does not suffice to exhibit themselves on public thoroughfares; they do not fear to cross the threshold of churches, to assist at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, and even to bear the seducing food of shameful passions to the Eucharistic Table, where one receives the Heavenly Author of Purity."
1930 Letter of the Congregation of the Council
By virtue of the supreme apostolate which he wields over the Universal Church by Divine Will, our Most Holy Father Pope Pius XI has never ceased to inculcate, both verbally and by his writings, the words of St. Paul (1 Tim. xi,9-10), namely, "Women ... adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety ... and professing godliness with good works."
Very often, when occasion arose, the same Supreme Pontiff condemned emphatically the immodest fashion of dress adopted by Catholic women and girls -- which fashion not only offends the dignity of women and against her adornment, but conduces to the temporal ruin of the women and girls, and, what is still worse, to their eternal ruin, miserably dragging down others in their fall. It is not surprising, therefore, that all Bishops and other ordinaries, as is the duty of ministers of Christ, should in their own dioceses have unanimously opposed their depraved licentiousness and promiscuity of manners, often bearing with fortitude the derision and mockery leveled against them for this cause.
Therefore this Sacred Council, which watches over the discipline of clergy and people, while cordially commending the action of the Venerable Bishops, most emphatically exhorts them to persevere in their attitude and increase their activities insofar as their strength permits, in order that this unwholesome disease be definitely uprooted from human society.
In order to facilitate the desired effect, this Sacred Congregation, by the mandate of the Most Holy Father, has decreed as follows:
Exhortation to Those in Authority
1. The parish priest, and especially the preacher, when occasion arises, should, according to the words of the Apostle Paul (2 Tim. iv, 2), insist, argue exhort and command that feminine garb be based on modesty and womanly ornament be a defense of virtue. Let them likewise admonish parents to cause their daughters to cease wearing indecorous dress.
2. Parents, conscious of their grave obligations toward the education, especially religious and moral, to their offspring, should see to it that their daughters are solidly instructed, from earliest childhood, in Christian doctrine; and they themselves should assiduously inculcate in their souls, by word and example, love for the virtues of modesty and chastity; and since their family should follow the example of the Holy Family, they must rule in such a manner that all its members, reared within the walls of the home, should find reason and incentive to love and preserve modesty.
3. Let parents keep their daughters away from public gymnastic games and contests; but if their daughters are compelled to attend such exhibitions, let them see that they are fully and modestly dressed. Let them never permit their daughters to don immodest garb.
4. Superioresses and teachers in schools for girls must do their utmost to instill love of modesty in the hearts of maidens confided to their care and urge them to dress modestly.
5. Said Superioresses and teachers must not receive in their colleges and schools immodestly dressed girls, and should not even make an exception in the case of mothers of pupils. If, after being admitted, girls persist in dressing immodestly, such pupils should be dismissed.
6. Nuns, in compliance with the Letter dated August 23, 1928, by the Sacred Congregation of Religious, must not receive in their colleges, schools, oratories or recreation grounds, or, if once admitted, tolerate girls who are not dressed with Christian modesty; said Nuns, in addition, should do their utmost so that love for holy chastity and Christian modesty may become deeply rooted in the hearts of their pupils.
7. It is desirable that pious organizations of women be founded, which by their counsel, example and propaganda should combat the wearing of apparel unsuited to Christian modesty, and should promote purity of customs and modesty of dress.
8. In the pious associations of women those who dress immodestly should not be admitted to membership; but if, perchance, they are received, and after having been admitted, fall again into their error, they should be dismissed forthwith.
9. Maidens and women dressed immodestly are to be debarred from Holy Communion and from acting as sponsors at the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation; further, if the offense be extreme, they may even be forbidden to enter the church.
Donato Cardinal Sbaretti, Prefect
Congregation of the Council
Rome, January 12, 1930
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