On my mind.

Whew--- lots to write about and not a lot of time in which to do it. So, a brief rundown of some things on my mind.

We've been alternating going to two different churches in town, one which we love but which drives us CRAZY in it's perpetual quest to modernize the way we do Church, and the other which we love for it's simplicity.... a kind of church in which you never have to ask yourself "Is this Catholic??" or "Why are they doing that??"

We do it because we know that by being active parishioners at the first church, we are involved in the day to day workings of the parish.... surrounding ourselves with a large population of catholics, many of whom are in similar situations to ours and who we can relate to. We have a set place to serve. We also do it because we know that if we abandoned this parish, that would be two less persons in there dedicated to "keeping things Catholic," and the way that Parish is going ,they need all the help they can get.

The exasperating thing about this church is the Sunday services--- an utter lack of reverence or respect for what is happening, the constant babbling through the mass and during prayer, the ill-trained children, the liberalizing of the liturgy,altar servers who have no idea what they are doing, the plethora of unnecessary Eucharistic Ministers, the neglecting of the honor due the priests, etc, etc, etc.

When we go to the other Church, we have none of these problems: the tabernacle is front and center, as it should be. The priest and congregation are reverent, silence is observed, the Holy Spirit is allowed free reign, the proper forms of the liturgy are adhered to-- it's just glorious. Of course, it's a TINY parish with a population consisting mostly of little old ladies! But each time I go there I find myself so thankful that I was given the opportunity to be reminded of how Church has always been done. It gives me fresh wind and the push I need to encourage the pastors and staff of our own Parish to really work towards remembering what's important. And now, instead of getting discouraged every Sunday, I take one Sunday a month or so to "recharge" and take it all in.

Through all this, I've also learned that Sunday Mass is not really about me! I know that sounds silly--- of course it's not about me, it's about Jesus! But what I mean is that it's not designed in particular to "feed me" but rather to reach out to those lost souls who pop their heads in once in a while. Of course, I am fed by the Eucharist, but the rest of the service is always tailored, it seems, to people who don't really know how to "do" Church. And I think we need that. I see them flocking in every Sunday testing the waters, to sort of "see if it works."

For me, daily mass is where I get to come and spend quiet time with the Lord and in the presence of believers who have made Him the center of their lives. Sunday mass is a celebration where lots of those who are invited actually come to the table-- a different kind of party. It's far less intimate, but much more inclusive, and it's productive because Souls are coming to Him to see if they find in Him what they need.

I think it was like this as a protestant for me too-- Sunday Church always led up to the altar call and though we "grew" significantly, we grew MORE in our small group settings. Because we didn't have daily church, I think I missed out on the opportunity for a lot of intimate growth with believers. I'm so thankful for daily mass and can't wait until I can go more regularly. Lord, let that day come!

Last Sunday was first communion for lots of the kids. This is the day that certain children who have been prepared over the previous months will receive the Eucharist for the very first time. It is a huge joy and an honor to be present at a First Communion mass... I become totally overwhelmed with emotion each time I see the "little children coming to Him."






The children dress up like brides and grooms because they are going to meet their Spouse-- and every one of them has the usual questions when it really comes down to it: Mainly-- what does Jesus' body and blood really taste like?

I always answer: "To me, it tastes like Life itself."
But imagine my dismay when I overheard one mother tell her child: "The wine tastes really bad, but you don't have to drink it." I couldn't fathom why someone would say that to a first communicant-- particularly thinking about all the Saints I know and love who would have done ANYTHING for just one DROP of the Cup before their first communion, and how they instinctively knew to long for it.

In fact, I remember thinking about that as a protestant, when I had denied myself communion because I felt that I couldn't "commune" with catholics in faith and thus should not receive.... I remember thinking that I had never tasted anything quite like it, and when I finally began to receive again years later, that familiar taste was a soothing balm for my soul in more ways than just "spiritually."


Its been a year since my return to the Church and I am sooooo thankful to be standing here. Lord, draw me ever nearer!