The mass-- a how-to.

I received this email from a special girl on Myspace yesterday:


See, I’ve been agnostic/atheist for about seven years, after leaving the Russian Orthodox Church. I want to come back to church, but Gainesville (where I attend University) only has two churches: a Greek Orthodox one, far away, and a Catholic one, right down the street. I have no car, so the Catholic church is the most accessible.. I wrote the Catholic priest about my attending mass and he was very nice and welcoming. However, I don’t know/remember much and don’t want to upset a bunch of people accidentally.. So I was looking for information in your blogs.. and I was wondering if I could get some advice on proper conduct/dress code.. anything/everything (eep!)?

Because I get quite a few emails like this, I thought it might be useful to reply in a blog, where others can quickly and easily find the answers.

Going to mass for the first time can be scary--- if you have never been around Catholics you really only have the reputation to go off: You know to expect lots of standing, sitting, and kneeling, and hand signals, and responses. Other than that? Ahhhhh!

So, without further ado, I give you: a short guide to attending mass for the first time.

The first question everyone asks is: What should I wear? And it's a good one-- what should I wear to meet with my Creator today? The answer for men and for women is remarkably similar: Something that shows respect and that acknowledges from your heart the incredible nature of what you are about to witness and participate in. When I was growing up (And still, in Traditional Latin Mass communities-- more on that later) we were expected to wear our "Best" to Mass. This meant nice, formalish dresses for the women and suits for the men. Women NEVER wore low cut tops, clothes which exposed their backs or shoulders, etc. Boy do I remember the arguments I had with my Grandpere when I was a teenager about wearing dresses with low necklines!! Whew. If you DO wear a sleeveless or backless type dress, a cover up is the norm.

Now--- that was then, and in more traditional parishes or Parishes where the Latin Mass is still the norm, that is still in effect. However, I was a bit shocked to discover that these days in most parishes you will find a bit of everything: jeans, shredded jeans, halter tops, sweatshirts, etc. I don't think that this is ALWAYS a bad thing-- after all, we live in different times and these are norms and standards now. However I do think that a conscious person and a spiritually mature person will make the effort to give God their best through their clothing. Jeans are a great example: these days, I do think we can "dress up jeans" and make them look relatively acceptable, but I applaud those women and men who choose to avoid that and go the extra mile in honor of God's presence at the Mass.

Don't let that deter you! If jeans is what you've got--- wear jeans! In Santa Barbara, I often attended daily mass sitting next to homeless guys who hadn't showered in quite a while, and was blessed to be there with them! The idea is to give God your best, whatever that means for you.

As a woman, should you wear a headcovering? I would say yes, even though there is a chance that you will be the only one! Haha. Both the Bible and earlier Church councils recommend that women wear veils to worship, in particular, as St Paul says... "because of the angels." Just as the Angels knew which homes should be preserved by the sign of blood on the doorposts, the Angels know which women to stand by by their outward sign of veiling. In a church where the Traditional Latin Mass is said, you are expected to wear a headcovering and chapel veils will often be provided at the door if you do not have one. At a Novus Ordo mass (what you will usually find in your neighborhood parish) you might be the only one, or one of a handful of women, wearing a headcovering. If you are feeling brave, go for it! You're doing the right thing. If not, don't worry about it. Trust me, no one will notice.

OK, now that you're dressed and out the door, what do you do when you get there?

At some point in the entrance to the Church you will see bowls or a large bowl of holy water, and will notice people dipping their fingers in and making the sign of the cross. Holy Water is water that has been blessed and purified by a priest, and has many physical and spiritual benefits, to include reminding you of your baptismal promises and the fact that you are called to conversion and (my favorite little side effect) Holy Water is also a fabulous demon deterrent. ;) We make the sign of the cross over ourselves slowly and deliberately, in intimate union with our Lord on the cross. Catholics have always made the sign of the cross by touching their finger tips (Some keep their thumb, forefinger, and middlefinger together to remind them of the Holy TRinity) to their foreheads, hearts, left shoulder, right shoulder. The movement is accompanied by the words (either spoken or mentally projected) "in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It's a good idea to get comfortable making the sign of the cross...Catholics make it all the time throughout the day, and at the Mass.

(interesting Wiki Article on the sign of the Cross here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_cross)

Once inside the church, you will see rows of pews that face towards an altar, which should be elevated somewhat above the level of the pews. Ideally, behind this altar (although it is common in many sad little churches across America to find it off to the side) you will see what looks like a big gold box. Somewhere near this gold box is a red or white suspended candle. The lit candle reminds us that consecrated hosts are inside the box, which is called a Tabernacle. This is where the Eucharistic Lord resides and the reason why an empty Catholic Church never "feels" empty-- God is with us.

You can make a profound bow or genuflect (get down on one knee and cross yourself) towards the tabernacle in acknowledgement before sitting down. Most people get to mass a little early so that they can kneel in their pews before it begins and spend some time in silent prayer. You should remember to always keep silence while inside the Church... it is a place of prayer and God's presence is there! These days, most priests seem to have to remind congregants to be reverent and respectful, but it wasn't always so--- the Catholic Church has always placed great emphasis on prayerful silence and maintaining a reverential attitude.

The mass will begin with a procession: just as in old testament days, the priest and altar boys will process through the Church towards the altar, and this will usally begin with singing. When the priest gets to the front, the mass begins. Here you can follow along with any good "Order of the Mass." I am providing you with two links... one to a Novus Ordo (what you will normally see in the Parishes around you) and one to the very special Traditional Latin Mass (which you will see on special occasions or in particularly traditional parishes) It is easy to follow along with what the priest will say and do and what you are expected to say and do. If you do not have one with you, they are sometimes provided in missals in the pews, OR you can simply follow the leads of the people around you, standing when they stand and kneeling when they kneel. If you do not KNOW the correct responses, don't feel bad about just not saying anything at all---- in fact, that's probably the best way to take in the beauty and "special-ness" of the nature of Holy Mass. If you then decide you like it and want to keep coming, you can make a copy of the Order of Mass and then gradually learn the responses. If you REALLY like it, you can buy a Missal. This is a book that contains everything you need to follow along in the mass (all the scripture texts, prayers, and responses) and is a wonderful addition to your prayer life. They are expensive, so make sure you wait until you are sure you want to do this! In the meantime, you can find it all at the US Conference of Catholic Bishops' website and follow along from there.

If your parish is celebrating the Novus Ordo Mass (and most are) you will find it here: http://www.theworkofgod.org/devotns/euchrist/guide.htm

If your parish is celebrating the Tridentine Latin Mass (and I Hope you get to experience this!!) you will find it here: http://www.fisheaters.com/TLMinstructions.html

In order to receive Holy Communion when it is distributed, you must be a practicing Catholic who is not in a state of Mortal Sin and who has abstained from food or drink for an hour prior to receiving. If you do not meet these qualifications, there is absolutely no shame whatsoever in remaining in your pew, prayerfully reflecting on God's presence in the Eucharist, and in fact, we would be shocked if you didn't! Another option for you, and one I find far nicer, is to come forward in the communion line with everyone else, keeping your arms tightly crossed in front of you, like an X. When the priest sees this, it is his signal to give you a blessing (he will pray over you and make the sign of the cross on your forehead) and you can then return to your seat.

Once the mass is over, you should still maintain your prayerful demeanor. Some people around you will be dropping to their knees to spend a few more minutes in prayer, so simply gather up your things and step into the aisle. Pause to genuflect or bow deeply in the direction of the Tabernacle before leaving, and cross yourself again with Holy Water on your way out. It is customary to take the time to greet the priest and say hello on your way out, he will be standing in a receiving line with the altar boys and you can say hello. Traditionally, We would genuflect and kiss the priest's hand to say hello, but these days, people really just say "what's up" and give them a hug or a handshake. My, how times have changed!! If you are attending a Latin Mass, you should expect to see people greet the priest in the traditional manner. That would be a good time to let the priest know you are new and interested in returning, and ask him if there is anything you should know about taking part in Parish life that might be tailored towards your needs as a person discovering Catholicism.


The most important thing to keep in mind is that there is ALWAYS a traditional AND biblical REASON for what you see, do , and experience in the Catholic Church. Nothing we do is done just "because" it seems interesting. So if there is something you see or do that makes you wonder.... what the heck is this??? Ask. Our liturgy is rich and full.

That should about cover it...and please, I would be thrilled to hear how everyone's first experience goes!!