On prayer

The most amazing thing happened at Mass today.
We sat in front of this hispanic family we see from time to time, and for whatever reason I felt instantly bonded to the mom... no idea why, assumed it was a God thing, but just felt, you know, "tight."

It was a first communion mass again, and as I mentioned last week-- first communions mean a lot to me. I remember my own Grandparents, already relatively old for long car rides, actually buying plane tickets to come and see mine at the Santa Barbara mission-- what an event! They never came for a birthday or a graduation, but for my first communion--- they knew how special it was!

So, everything was going along as usual when it came time for the sign of peace. Peter and I smooched and I turned behind me to commence the handshaking and kiss-on-the-cheeking, which, I admit, I often find kind of disruptive and tedious. Imagine my surprise when at that moment, God showed up in a major way!

The woman behind me, in broken english, asked if I would mind if she prayed for my baby. I should pause here and tell you that prayer has been on my mind all week.

The first thing I've been thinking about is how often we let moments to pray slip past. We hear a bit of news and think," oh, I need to pray for them" but somehow forget to actually stop and do it right then and there. I had resolved to begin just praying, all the time, stopping whatever I was in the middle of and just doing it.

The second thing I've been thinking is in particular with regards to the rosary. I love the rosary because it sort of counter balances my two hour hardcore pray-a-thons.... I worry sometimes that I just don't have the energy to REALLY pray, so I have times where I don't give 100 percent to my prayer.

This is because sometimes , often even, I am moved to like---- get LOUD when I pray. To sing powerful praises and then to STAND on the word of God (exclamation mark, exclamation mark, etc) and to SPEAK His Word over people and to, you know, get pentacostal on Him. But with the rosary, I am still totally in the Spirit but it's a different thing the Spirit does-- - it is reflective, quiet, internal , and introspective. It is pure peace, which is different from the excitement and amazement you experience when you are praying in tongues or whatnot. I absolutely LOVE both and I feel like I was missing something when I didn't have the rosary, but at the same time, I never want to give up those Spirit-Filled moments of just pure charismatic prayer, you know? And that's easy to do in the Catholic Church, because most people around you are not charismatic and probably think you're a little strange. In fact, I was just saying this the other day... that it's somewhat of a joke in my circle of friends that the two ex-protties are the ones who, you know, PRAY and that the Catholics, instead, SAY their prayers. That isn't to say that Catholics aren't praying "correctly," it's just to say that in the Charismatic circles I've always moved in, we prayed one way, and in the circles most Catholics I know move in, they prayed another way.

I am thankful for both, and want to practice both "styles" of prayer--- the Church has given us prayers which are theologically sound, and it is good to pray them, but I think every person needs to be able to pray from their heart and literally SPEAK to God, in the Holy Spirit. Because of that, I've become sort of a stickler for both-- I make sure to pray the rosary at least once a day and a series of prayers that come from our rich heritage, but I also make sure to spend some time just praying whatever the Holy Spirit has for me to pray at that time. All this to say that I MISS, really, really miss, having charismatic types around--I miss having some serious prayer warriors I can count on to intercede in the Holy Spirit and power at the drop of a hat. Better than that, I miss having friends who can surprise ME by letting me know that God has already told them to pray for me and why, and I miss being that kind of prayer partner for my own friends!

Imagine how happy I was, then, in this moment, as this woman who was sitting behind me asked if she could pray for my baby, and then proceeded to lay hands on my belly and just PRAY! All around us, people were shaking hands and kissing each other but for me time stood still as I stood in this powerful prayer-tornado and let thankfulness wash over me. Clearly, this woman had intimate knowledge about me from the Lord, and clearly she wanted to share God's love for my child by pouring out prayers over her.

I was so thankful I burst into tears--- it was so good to be bonded in prayer with someone who, for lack of a better word, not only understood but inspired me to get back on the horse and GO. God started out training a warrior in me, and somewhere along the way, mostly because I felt alone, I forgot that. May I never forget it again, Lord, and may I be used as this woman was to bless other people with Your infinite love.