God is love

I went to confession yesterday. I try to go every week, although there have been a few weeks where I missed for one reason or another.
EVERY time I go I am both apprehensive and excited. I know that it is going to be hard to admit my sins aloud, but I also know that I am going to be totally blessed by it... that God is going to use my confessor to transmit some incredible grace to me and that, vice versa, my confessor ends up being the recipient of some grace as well.
It's THAT thought that gives me the courage to go again, even if some days I am really confessing the exact same sins I confessed last week! (How mortifying if you have the same confessor each week-- and I try to!)

Anyways, I was not disappointed on Saturday. Father and I talked for a very long time about some things that were weighing on me. And what I love about the confessional is that it seems each time there is as much grace transmitted to my priest as there is to me... it truly is a special sacrament and a moment of unity between God and us and the whole church. It's absolutely breathtaking.

The other thing I love is that the goal for both of us in the moment is to get to the root of the problem. And the root is just really deep, each time. When we put our heads together, we find that we can make connections in some of the sins I'm confessing and break them down to about two or three roots each time... not always different ones either. It's powerful stuff and a good reminder to guard against the attacks of the devil in our weakest areas.

I just can't say enough about this sacrament. It just resonates life to me. It's so awesome.

Anyways, we got to talking about life and all sorts of other things and I realized that I had not yet asked him about my curious experience each day before communion. (Brief wrapup for those who don't read this blog regularly-- right before communion all the way to when the tabernacle is closed again, I experience this wierd, heart pounding, light headed kind of thing that really wierds me out. It's been happening for about a month now, and every time it makes me nervous)

I was explaining it to him and about halfway into it, he stopped me, with this knowing look on his face, and half smiled.
"Does it feel like your first kiss?"
Oh my gosh.
The second he said it any fear of it melted away as warm waves of relief flooded over me. YES! That's EXACTLY what it feels like.... My first kiss. Every time.
Everything fades out but the eucharist. heart is pounding. ears are ringing. cheeks get hot. nervous and excited. churning stomach.... and then--- there it is!!!
God is absolutely amazing. I am so in love with Him.