Family, culture, and the american dream

I’ve finally received three home schooling resources from a friend and I’m really getting excited about starting up. I think we are going to start with preschool and see how it goes. Part of me looks forward to the time when the kids will go to school. On the other hand, I cannot afford private school, and if we remain in North Carolina, I cannot send them to public school which is frightfully awful in this state.
So, I spent the entire day yesterday adding these resources to my home school binder.
I’ve been keeping track of Annika’s progress since she turned one. We usually do daily lesson plans and activities, and I imagine that’s much what school will be like-- just a few hours each day of learning specific things followed by implementing them in our daily routine.
I’m not going to “officially” start her on any kind of a home school program until 1 September, when she will be around preschool age.
By then I hope to have a specific curriculum chosen and purchased, whereas now I’m kinda just gleaning from a bunch of different books.
Until then, we are practicing and trying to get the hang of it. And so far, I love it!
My parents are teachers, and I grew up going to public, private, and home school. So I get how it’s done. I was a home school tutor for a few families in French. I really enjoyed that.. And I’m sure this will be similar. The only difference is that out here, we don’t have fabulous houses to hang out at with breathtaking views and a beach to lounge on while we “work.” I wonder if the lack of inspiration in the scenery here will make us both stir crazy and think twice about staying home. We’ll see.

The biggest problem (fear) people have about home schooling is the socialization aspect. I’m not at all worried about that-- Annika is a social butterfly and loves people of all ages. I’m sure that so long as I continue to provide opportunities for her to be social, she will continue to grow in that area.

She learns faster than a lot of kids her age, so I’m actually kinda glad we are going to homeschool her in the beginning… it will give her the opportunity to grow at her own pace. I know I was easily bored in public high school and that lack of challenge certainly gave me no incentive to stick around, Gate programs or not.

I’m kinda disappointed by the lack of interest Wayne has in her education. He trusts me to “make the right decisions” and to get it right, and he has strong opinions about what “right” education is. BUT he doesn’t get interested in looking at the resources and catalogs I’m bringing home, and he could not care less about sitting in on a home school family’s day and seeing what it’s like first hand.

I’m also reading a really amazing book right now called “The Seven Habits of Effective Families” by Stephen R Covey.
I have to say, I usually despise self help books, but this one is a little different.
He takes principles I already know in my head but seem to have a hard time acting out in my life, and then gives examples of how to actually sit down and apply them.
The principles themselves, for the most part, are purely biblical.
The guy is a mormon, I think, but that certainly hasn’t affected the spiritual nature of the stuff he is writing, which is kind of like a manual to “dying to self,” without hammering the “painful” aspect.

Essentially, he teaches seven habits that form what he calls a “beautiful family culture.” This culture is different in each family, because we are all unique with unique callings. But what is similar is the “feeling” we get when we walk into a house where Love is happening. It’s the kind of family we LOVE to emulate.
I would hate to live in the “Seventh Heaven” House, for example, because I think their family culture is nerdy and not my style. BUT I do see that the show does an excellent job at depicting the familial bond in a way that is very inspiring. I get teary eyed watching the show BECAUSE I feel strongly connected to a family who IS strongly connected.
That’s why I liked the Cosby Show. It’s why I liked hanging out at my friend Tasha’s house growing up. They had their own, unique, beautiful family culture.

If nothing else, I’ve walked away from the first few chapters with a really fresh perspective on my own family. I’m so often tempted to “compare” us to everyone around… to get overwhelmed with how much “better” everyone around us seems to do this or that. It helps me to realize that Wayne and I are on a different mission than the people around us, and that what we together have to bring to the world will be just as precious as what any other family has to bring to the table -- and UNIQUE. We have different talents and abilities than anyone else around us, and together, we use those talents and gifts to create culture that assists us in our ministry.

For one thing, Covey has given me a gentle reminder that the most important thing, when we are “off track” from our family vision, is to realize that we are and to use our sense of humor to help us get back ON track. To take it lightly… not to be overcome by the pressure to conform or be perfect.

For another, he has reminded me of my God-given ability as a human and not an animal to examine my self: my reasons for responding, my reactivity, etc. And instead of being reactive, to be proactive-- to be an element of change in my OWN sphere of influence instead of being an element of negativity in my sphere of concern.
What does that mean? It means that I’m learning to concern myself with the things which I can personally change, and that, in turn is allowing me to be a better listener and a more empathetic and positive person.. To develop more compassion and to see more change for GOOD in my life.
And I’m only on chapter two!! Haha. I’m telling you, I usually hate this kind of stuff but this particular book is speaking to my very soul.

I love it so much because more than anything, my family is important to me. It really bothers me that Wayne doesn’t have a picture of “family” that resembles my own picture of it. Where I grew up, family was everything… the only constant in a chaotic world, a source of organized chaos itself, and a microcosm of the universe…. A place where love reigned above all.
My family is noisy, messy, loud, and hilarious. His? Not so much. Most of his life was spent around his single dad. He didn’t experience the joy of a large family even though he initially had one, because in his family, the bigger it got the harder it got and the more the parents snapped.
He remembers a full house as a very dark time, and doesn’t have an experience of family culture because each member of his family was too busy trying to survive than actually enjoying each other, let alone learning and growing from each other.

I wish he would read the book and see what I’ve been trying to describe to him all this time, but I can’t seem to get him interested in it. Last night, he was on the computer, and Annika kept asking me if daddy would come tickle her. He got off the computer, came and tickled her for a few minutes, and then went back to it. He was busy.

I was really affected by that moment-- a moment that is gone forever-- a memory that should have been made to LAST. You know? I want to see a beautiful family culture emanate from this house. I want people to peek in the window and see a daddy tickling his kids, a mommy watching and laughing. I want this house to breathe joy, like the house of my youth--- where my grandparents raised nine kids and 37 grandkids on practically nothing but love of God and love of each other.