Updates from the little nazi jewish recruit :P

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Thanks so much for the prayer support! Little Annika is sleeping right now, which is awesome, and after I'm done writing this blog I'm going to take some much needed rest too. This is what she's been doing pretty much every day.... and if you know anything about toddlers you know that's bad. The doctor today said that basically, either we'll end up at the ER tonight or we wont.... she didn't want to give her any meds pre-emptively because the epinephrine and steroids are so hard on her little body (my brother says they use Epinephrine in NBC in the Army! Woah.) she did say her lungs are clearing up a bit. One thing I did want to say was that the advice everyone gave about the steam is dead on. Kids with croup need to be steamed up (like, run the hot shower and hold baby in the bathroom with all doors and windows closed) or in the cold air (but bundle baby up)-- the reason we were so worried is that her croup doesn't respond to ANY of that... and those are the only known treatments. I guess it was crazy severe and we feel blessed that she's ok right now!! So thanks for the emails and prayers, and if I didn't get back to you.... I took ALL of your advice :)


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Wayne and I took some time today to take a pic so you can see the belly. Ishod is getting bigger every day and we can't wait to meet him. He has dropped since yesterday (probably a result of all the strain) which means I can't really make it across a room in less than two minutes. I'm a big waddling mess. But he is super active and seems to be doing really well. He's also freakishly strong, like his daddy.

I know I keep blathering on like an idiot about this Ravelry thread, but it is always on my mind. In the morning, when I check my mail I have letters from women who either strongly disagree and want to talk about it, or (the ones that really touch my heart) are from Christian women who felt convicted when reading and want to know/hear more about being a submissive wife. It's been amazing.

Because the poopstorm has reached an all-time high in there (they are actually discussing whether I intentionally used Nazi recruiter techniques (OH, sweet irony!) in my posts to dismantle the conversation and turn it towards biblical living for the female gender!) I've decided to write a series of blogs which hopefully describe what I feel impressed to convey without stepping on any more toes. It's wierd to say that... I've never been afraid of stepping on toes before... but I really like Ravelry and as much as I hate to say that I'm allowing that to impede my right to free speech, I don't want to lose the priveledge to talk knitting with these amazing women because I just don't know what kinds of mods their forum has. (My experiences in the MADB board have left me sour!)

So, todays' installment. I'm going to address three things:

1. The idea of submission, it's relevance, and what it REALLY means.
2. The role of the wife in a biblical marriage.
3. Modern day lies women believe.

Consider this kind of an overview, because I'm pretty sure I'm going to hit these again in the near future and much more in depth (as it is, I can barely see the screen I'm so sleepy!)

today? The idea of submission.

Ephesians 6 describes the husband / wife relationship, and tells us (commands us) to be submitted to our husbands. Lots of women today simply refuse to believe it. They rationalize taking entire passages of scripture out of the Bible for millions of reasons, the most prevalent being that they don't want to listen to Paul (who, as they say, was "just a man.") I'll skip the -- obvious-- fact that Jesus Himself was FULLY man, and I'll just say that if you want to pick and choose passages from the Bible, that's on you.
When I first heard the word "submissive," in church, I looked around with lowered eyes. To my limited understanding, submissive was something you did in the bedroom, not in public. :P I can still remember trying to explain to my friend Colleen on our way to breakfast why I loved this one guy so much and how crazy he made me. She practically screeched the car to a halt to look me in the eyes and shouted it like it was a dirty word : "oh my gosh! you're submissive!"
At the time, that was something I hadn't really examined, but somehow it dawned on me that it might mean more than I just liked to be on the bottom. :)

Years later, in church, I heard a pastor's wife preach on being a submitted wife. It literally blew me away. What in the heck does that MEAN? I thought.
When I started to look at the passages in the Bible she was dealing with, I was literally floored. I read each one, incredulous that modern women could read this and agree. After all, here it said that I should be quiet. Modest. Discreet. Covered. and Submitted to the authority of a man.... things I had always perceived as barbaric and frankly... opposite to my character. I' was the loudest, most immodest, non-discreet, wide open and rebellious person in every room.

But I stemmed from the idea that there WAS a God, that His Word WAS true, and that I was (ironically) submitted to His authority in my life. If I wanted to be more like Him, I had to listen to Him and try to understand Him, and shape my life around what HE thought and not necessarily me. So I prayed on it, and I spent time in the Word, and little by little He showed me what He meant.

See, we have to start at the beginning... with our basic understanding of sin. Before you can be a wife who is submitted to a husband, you have to be a human who is submitted to God. When I realized what my sin really was and how it worked... (and, more importantly, that as a Christian, I no longer HAD to sin. It may happen, but I would have chosen it, as opposed to it being a part of my nature before I was a Christian.) that's when I saw what it really meant to let God be Lord in my life, or an authority. HE had the right to say yes or no to me. To guide me, and to protect me how He saw fit. And He had a system of checks and balances set up, of which my husband was a major part.
At the time, I wasn't married. But one I wrapped my head around the concept of authority (and believe me, it took years!) He released me to marry. During that time he dealth with me most about my rebellion. One of the ways He did this, as you know, is through teaching me about head covering. When I was covered, I was under a physical protection that mimicked the spiritual protection over my head. It helped me to visualize it and to maintain submission to it. And that led me to the Army.

There, I met and married my husband, having spoken to him a handful of times and having known him a total of five weeks. And full of excitement, I set out to be the stepford wife. Wayne always looks back with major fondness on those days. I admit, because I didn't know him yet, it was my natural reaction to puff him up.
I spoke proudly of him, I did everything he asked and a million things he didn't. I spiced up the bedroom every way I could. I kept an immaculate house and made delicious meals (hey, I didn't have kids :P) and most of all, I always told him that I was sure he knew best and told him that I trusted him completely. We were soooo in loooooove. :P

then we got to know each other, and let's just say we found out that we didn't like each other as much as we originally thought. A gnarly year ensued, which was peppered with various joys like the experience of pregnancy and all that. By the end of that year, I had discovered the book Created to Be His Helpmeet (and recently, The Excellent Wife) and they changed my life--- all of a sudden it was like a lightbulb went off in my head that would stop all the fighting and misery... I needed to get over myself!

see, this is a lesson every Christian should learn FIRST and foremost, upon recieving salvation. Unfortunately, it's often the one we learn last. God calls us to service, not to lounge around. And when that happens, He is going to use us, not pet us.
It wasn't until I figured out just how selfish I really was that I went and prayed "OK, Lord. REALLY make a submitted wife."

I'm no where near being perfect, but I can tell you this: I achieved perfect freedom on that day. It was the first day I realized that no matter WHAT my husband did, said, or thought, I was deeply and profoundly protected in God's system, and what's more--- He was doing things with me that I never thought possible. He was changing me and making me better! And that blew me away.

Ironically, as I finish this blog I've been on the phone with a dear brother who was counseling me on something totally off topic. He happened to mention to me something that I had never really reflected on, but that is just so fitting here:
"see, I think one of the things we need to know," he said," is that we are just soooo selfish. Isn't it amazing how when you're married, the minute you are married, you begin to lose some of that selfishness. You lose it again when you have children. And it's God's plan for us to marry and have children, because it teaches us so much how to lose ourselves in Him."

All I could say was "amen!"