I feel like it's the Lord because part of me struggled really hard with wanting to go. Not that I don't LOVE the girls in there, but because I am in such a hurry to get past this "young moms" thing, and into a place where I'm just doing "women's" stuff.
But yet, here I am, about to be a mom again... I can't just ignore that. It's the place He has me and the season I'm in.
So as I was praying about it, I really felt compelled to pray especially about the marriages of all the women in there. Imagine my surprise when I called Katie to tell her I was going and she told me the book they are doing is "the Power of a Praying Wife (not mom!)
I was so excited.
I'm further stoked as I read this week's chapter and it totally confirms everything I have been saying in the Ravelry thread about laying down your life for your husband...
I'm sure none of them can consider Stormie O'Martian "extreme" in the sense they consider me, or Debi Pearl, or Martha Peace extreme. I'm sure that quiet little Presbytarian small groups and the ladies over at the Christian Unitarian church probably study her books too.
But here it is, in her own words....
"This whole requirement (our hearts being right before our prayers for our husband's change to be answered) is especially hard when you feel your husband has sinned against you with unkindness, lack of respect, indifference, irresponsibility, infidelity, abandonment, cruelty, or abuse. But God considers the sins of unforgiveness, anger, hatred, self pity, lovelessness, and revenge to be JUST as bad as any others. Confess them and ask God to free you from anything that is not of Him. One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness. The most effective tool in transforming him may be your own transformation."
Exactly what I've been trying to describe when talking about some of the ideas behind being a committed and submissive wife.
As she so eloquently puts it... "is it painful? yes, dying to yourself is always painful. Especially when you are convinced that the other person needs more changing than you. But this kind of pain leads to life. The other alternative is just as painful and ultimately leads to the death of a dream, relationship, a marriage, or a family."
Ironically, as I'm praying about all of this and pondering it I get an email from my dad, who I apparently offended a bit over a general email I sent out in which I described our goings on. He objected to my name appearing as "Mrs. Wayne" rather than "Mrs. Barbie." "Careful, or you'll disappear altogether," he warned.
Isn't it amazing how when God deals with you about certain issues, He really DEALS with you. It's unrelenting. I think Beth Moore said she felt like when He was teaching her something it was EVERYWHERE she turned. I get that, completely. It's in Ravelry, its on my voice mail, its in my email, it's in my AP group, it's in my bedroom, it's in my neighbor's house, it's in my pastor's sermons.... I mean, yes! I'm listening :)
Anyways, I've had next to no energy over the last three days and I've overspent most of it trying to be heard and understood over in Ravelry, so I need some times of refreshing and I'm off to get in the Word. It's been amazing in there, especially now that they are all chanting "abuse" at me because I choose to spank my daughter.
God forbid I take some responsibility as a parent and decide to figure out what is the best way to mold her into a good and virtuous woman, you know?
I started a really sweet little shawl:
And I have a foxy husband :)
Enjoy the evening, guys. I need some quiet time.
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