Gargling. I don't know, I can't think of a title

Gargling. I don’t know, I just can’t think of a title.

So, God is laying the new mommies on my heart lately because it seems everyone is having new babies and asking for advice and I know God has given me a gift of teaching, particularly to this group of women: young moms, young wives. He's given me a heart for helping with heavenly families.
I've also been thinking alot lately about getting together with a girlfriend and going door to door. This is wierd, I know, and I'm not sure if it's from God yet. But basically I see so many Morms and JDubs going door to door each week, and I see them going in for their bible studies to the housewives in my neighborhood, and I think... well, most people would pray. But I have a teaching gift! So naturally I want to use it... and then I'm like, why wouldn't a Christian go door to door too? Someone out there will want a bible study, and will welcome it. I don't know, maybe I'm crazy, but that's what God did to me to get me to pay attention to the Bible, so why not someone else?
Also, I've come to this realization after a lengthy discussion with Wayne over breakfast about the AP parenting board and the so-called "gentle Christian moms" site.
Wayne said it, and I was like -- OMG! (he's so wise :P)
these women were converted, but they were never discipled! That's why they have no foundation, and that's why while loving the Lord, they still remain lord over their own lives. it's so obvious.... but I had never seen it that way. It's why I have such a heart for discipleship, because when I got saved I didn't know HOW to be a Christian, and I didn't know how to HEAR from God-- I could be them so easily, but for the grace of God.
I'm so grateful that He surrounded me with passionate, strong, annointed leaders! My whole Christian walk has been one amazement after another. I've had to shift my way of thinking so many times I can't even begin to describe how broken I had to get.
I'm STILL there. And every time I think I have it right, pshhhhh.

Today TWO old friends called me, who I hadn't spoken to in a long time. BOTH of them just happened to mention that they were calling because they wanted to be better wives and they felt like I may be able to help them. Actually, technically, three people called and said this, only one is not really a Christian looking for mentoring.

The point is, I was totally knocked on my butt- I've been a TERRIBLE wife lately. My home is in disarray, my daughter is acting up because I've been working, my nagging is getting out of hand, my frustrations have been building up. I've really been mean, cold, and unsubmissive in many, many ways. So why would God use me when I'm in this state? I think exactly for that reason-- it causes me to look with lazer sharp eyes at my own life to see where I am not being an example, and to deal with it immediately because these women will be scrutinizing every aspect of my own wifehood.
Anyways, God is moving, but I'm just standing still-- waiting to hear from Him about a million things, and totally floored about most of the things He is speaking to me about these days.

Life is nuts.