A praying people

I read this article the other day.
At first I was annoyed-- typical "Catholic" drivel about how praying spontaneously is something WE do instead of something GOD does in us. I let my feathers ruffle as I thought about the damage that encouraging people NOT to pray spontaneously together would do.

But then something funny happened-- I started to realize there was some truth to it. It is not so much that it was encouraging people NOT to engage each other to pray spontaneously. Instead, it was encouraging wives to pray formal prayers with their husbands, which would act as gateways to Kingdom living in their homes.

I believe that husbands and wives should pray spontaneously together, and that it should come easily, frequently and naturally. That husbands and wives should take the time to pray spontaneously together every day.

The article challenged me:

This type of intimate, spousal prayer might sound beautiful to women. But to most guys--good, devout guys--not so much. It requires seat-of-the-pants verbal skills that many of them do not have. Not to mention a willingness to, at times, express emotions that are hard for a guy to discuss with his wife in an ordinary conversation, let alone talk to God about with his wife listening in. It's one more example of a woman finding it therapeutic to talk about her problems, and the man finding the same activity to be close to torture.

So wives who want to persuade their husbands to pray with them, but find them recalcitrant, would be well-advised to drop the hand-holding, spill- your- guts- to -God- together idea, and go for something that is more realistic. That is, utilizing the type of prayer that the Catholic tradition excels at. Namely, reciting formal prayers that were written by someone else! Or I should say, reciting formal prayers while investing them with your own will, intentions, feelings, etc.

My husband has been a Christian much longer than I have. And like many, many Christians walking around this earth.... he believes with all his heart but he has never had the experience that Charismatics, both Catholics and Christians, refer to as "baptism in the Holy Spirit."

He has never been "overtaken" by the Holy Spirit. Never spoken in tongues. Never had a word of knowledge for anyone. His experience of the Holy Spirit is much more calm and steady. It's less of a loud, passionate, vibrant love affair and more of a kingdom mentality.  He bows and worships. He trembles and fears. He loves, he obeys, and experiences the goodness of The King. He is moved and moves. His love for God is like the love of a couple who knows and trusts each other because they've been married for years and struggled to communicate for years. It's beautiful, but it is intimate. Above all... it is private.

It's not that he hasn't ASKED for Baptism in the Spirit. It's that he isn't one to do/say something that is contrived of his flesh. And because God Himself has not reached down and CHANGED the way my husband prays, he has not changed it. It's not that he doesn't exhibit the fruits of the Spirit-- he absolutely does. Rather, it's that he doesn't look like/act like a Charismatic Christian in his appearance, and for a long time, I wasn't OK with that.

I've been around Charismatics all my Christian life, and usually praying from a book pains me. I use books as a starting off point to get me going, and it's not uncommon for me to spend an hour at a time "lost" in a prayer-dance with God. I sing random songs. I get moved and say what I'm thinking. I feel inspired and speak God's Word back to Him. I sing, I laugh, I cry, I get on my knees, I stand up. I clap my hands and stomp my feet. I listen. I spend a lot of time listening.

My husband, on the other hand, usually stands very still, closes his eyes, and folds his hands in his lap during prayer. When he leads our family in prayer, it's often in familiar prayers... The Our Father. The Hail Mary. The Apostles Creed. The Glory Be. He likes to pray straight out of his Bible, or straight out of a prayer book. He and I met in Jewish services on post at Ft Jackson, and he and I have often prayed straight out of the Jewish prayer book together.

In the beginning of our marriage, I'd be bored to death and wondering why he wasn't more "spiritual." He, on the other hand, was content. And my kids who didn't always know "what to say" when they talked to God, were participating.

When he became a Catholic, one of the first things my husband really latched onto was the rosary. He prayed the rosary all the time, and was constantly reminding us to do the same. I prayed the rosary quite a bit. But I also prayed the Divine Office (the psalms with the Church) and preferred it.
That's what I prayed with the kids when he was gone.

It's not that I didn't like the rosary- I love it. But I have to be in the right frame of mind to pray the rosary, whereas praying the psalms, I find, puts me in the right frame of  mind. I love a rosary when I'm super frustrated and rocking a grumpy baby in the dark... but if I am standing free before my God, I pray a little differently.

I think that's just me... I'm a very biblically driven person and the biblical language is something that brings me to life and ignites my being. It has been the focal point of my spiritual life from the beginning, and it is how I work out my salvation.

So prayer in my family had always been kind of ... awkward. We know that it is only through daily prayer that we will truly live, so we do it. But it's a learning experience.
In the beginning, I prayed with the kids, and he prayed with me.

My prayer times with the kids were extravagant--- loud, worshipful, expressive.
My prayer times with him were quiet and formal.

Over time, I noticed that my oldest two children responded REALLY well to the prayers at mass. They absolutely love the rhythmic chanting, the eloquent language that speaks to them, and the distinct roles they have: now we stand. now we sit. now we bow. now we cross ourselves.
Their prayers were hung on these pegs and I noticed their prayers began to really improve and become intimate moments with God when that happened.

So I jumped in to praying formal prayers with my kids. We pray the liturgy of the hours together morning and evening, and there is a time for spontaneous prayer included, but because it has a format, it's comforting to all of us. When I did that, I noticed that each of my children developed their own prayer-habits.
My oldest became really invested in eucharistic adoration.... even spending time on her knees facing the nearest tabernacle each day. She is a little evangelist, and quite adept.
My second child is a bit prophetic. He speaks to inanimate objects and commands them. He famously will pray for up to an hour spontaneously and when the mood hits him-- often in the bathroom.  My third is a singer. She truly prays twice when she sings hymns.
And so it goes.

Another thing I noticed is that when  we began to pray formal prayers together as a family, my husband and I began to pray spontaneously together... something we hadn't done much up until then. And it wasn't until we ALL prayed formally together that this began to change. Suddenly, I would mention a difficult situation one of our friends was in, and instead of saying: "remember to pray for her," he would say to me: ""let's pray for her right now. Come here..."

My heart burst. THIS was the prayer life I believe a Christian family should have. And for the first time in my life, instead of it being artificial or me forcing it, it was natural and our natural leader, my husband, was leading it. Beautiful.

So it's been about a year that this change has taken place, and I am quite sure that we are well on the way to a meaningful family prayer life.

Last night, two of our dearest male friends were visiting. They came by to say goodbye as one of them was on the last leg of a trip. We caught up, we shared a glass of wine, we talked politics, and  they wrestled the kids. But then, instead of saying goodbye, as we were winding down,  one of them said: "Let's pray a rosary together before we leave."
Now, these are some of our dearest friends. And we have prayed together many times-- quick bursts of prayer at various times during holidays, during mass together, etc. But never a rosary. Never like this. I was... surprised, to say the least. Grateful, but surprised.

They asked my husband to lead the rosary  and sent my kids off to the family altar to gather rosaries for everyone.

I had a momentary panic.
.... but my kids aren't used to the rosary and will probably act up.
.... but my father in law hates the rosary and will probably be uncomfortable hearing us pray it.
.... but my husband says the rosary weird and will probably lead it funny
.... why can't we just PRAY??
We began. We chose the luminous mysteries (it was Thursday). My husband led us... and
it. was. PERFECT.

To sit in a room with three men, three husbands, three fathers, humbly praying the rosary... perfect.
Each man was holding a child and teaching them how to pray by holding their little fingers around the "right" beads, by explaining what each mystery means and what it revealed to us about God's character....perfect.
Each man reverently bringing his intentions, his family, and (because these men are men of influence in the community and therefore in the world) his nation before God and it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed. Perfect.

I thank God for formal prayers. I thank God for the rosary---I thank God for the Liturgy of the Hours. I thank God for the Catholic Church who gave us these prayers, through which many parents, spouses, and friends truly become ONE VOICE united in prayer. Through them, progress in prayer is made. Through them charity and humility become the standard.

Through them three men joined powerfully in the Holy Spirit last night to change a devastated nation, starting with each other. Through formal prayers our family and friends have truly become a praying people.
Glory be to God always.

Advent, week one: HOPE is here!

I love the way God works.

Last week I posted about our annual Thankful for Advent party. If you remember, Advent is separated into four weeks, and each week has a theme. The theme for this week is hope. Since the theme for this year's party was discipleship in the family, we tried to work on applying the concept of building hope to our family discipleship.  This morning I learned that Hope is a gift God wants to give liberally!



One resource I had used was my friend Liza's blog, in which I read a while back a post which affected me for it's reminder to speak good and true things.

The particular hymn she brought up was one I remembered singing a few times and whose message I really appreciated for times of need. I determined that it would be one I should teach my children.  We learn a few hymns per month as a part of their homeschooling, and this seemed like one we should add to our repertoire.

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.


My kids are very young, and singing hymns is touch-and-go right now.
They love to sing, but it is a painful process of off-key rambling for weeks before they learn the lyrics since they cannot read, or at least, not well enough to keep up. Some people find this stuff delightful. My husband and I, who are big on peace and order, not so much.

So the in-between learning stage of each song we impart to them has driven my husband and myself slightly bananas... although we have enjoyed the periodic misunderstandings of the lyrics we glimpse. One of my facebook statuses the other day said:

During bathtime tonight, (my second youngest) was singing about "another ground chicken named Sam," which gave me pause until I realized she was singing the lyrics to a hymn we are learning.... "all other ground is sinking sand." :D

Anyways, in the same vein, I had taught last week that family devotions created a culture of faith in the home, and that FAITH was the key that unlocked hope. I asked everyone to recommit themselves to family devotions, even if they were hard or seemed unfruitful, and I commited myself to persevering in that area as well.

My kids are just getting old enough to where we can enjoy family devotions without them being drudgery for the adults (my husband and I are not really "kid people." Ironically, considering we have a few of them.)
We have never dumbed things down for them, but finding meaningful ways to impart knowledge to a child that isn't campy or contrived is challenging. My husband definitely has more of a knack for speaking to children than I do.
The other night I was privileged to witness the Jesse tree family devotional of my friend Cherry's dinner table. Her children are young and they kept it very simple and fun. It was beautiful to experience, and seeing all the adults in the room intentionally spending this time with the children to pass on the faith was so encouraging. Her children were so happy and involved.
That simplicity is not something which comes naturally to me. It takes nurturing and sacrifice on my part to speak in their language.

To add to the difficulties, we live in a house with my father in law, who not being Catholic, has a great mistrust of any Catholic-isms we use in prayer or devotions (like lightng a candle or holding a crucifix), and who is notorious for interrupting our family devotions or prayer time for things that can-- and should-- wait.

So thusfar our family devotions have been kind of.... blah.... and I have rarely felt that everyone was making the deep connections outside of "surface behavior" that I hoped they would make. We aren't mining the Word, just kinda scratching the surface, and we are constantly interrupted.
Until today.

By some miracle, we woke up this morning and everyone remembered and understood the lyrics to our call to prayer and to our hymn.
My husband has recently noticed the kids were tuning out during LOTH and recommended something less burdensome,  so we are trying something new, focusing just on the mass readings but unpacking them together.

They actually listened with interest to the readings today. They sang our hymn with zeal and enthusiasm.
And would you believe that this just happened to be the Gospel reading?

Mt 7:21, 24-27
Jesus said to his disciples:
"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,'
will enter the Kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.

"Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them
will be like a wise man who built his house on rock.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.
And everyone who listens to these words of mine
but does not act on them
will be like a fool who built his house on sand.
The rain fell, the floods came,
and the winds blew and buffeted the house.
And it collapsed and was completely ruined."

 To top it off, we had witnessed a huge argument between family members the day before and it had really affected us all. It triggered in each of us feelings of hopelessness and deep regret and sadness and anger.
We have just begun for now to get our family devotional reading from The Word Among Us, and I had printed out the following devotional to read to them:

Saint Nicholas, Bishop

“It did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock.” (Matthew 7:25)
Thursday, December 6
All builders know the importance of a firm foundation. Before they begin putting up walls or windows or doors, they make sure that they have dug down far enough to set the house on solid ground. Over time, however, the weight of the home or erosion of the soil can cause the foundation to shift, allowing cracks to form in the walls. These cracks act as a warning, telling the home­owner to fix the damage before things get worse. When the warning comes, the best solution is to attach sturdy steel piers to the foundation and bore deeper into the soil, set­ting the home on more solid rock.
Many of us would say that our spiritual homes are pretty well built. We believe in the Lord, we try to pray at Mass, and we seek to live out Jesus’ command to love one another. Even so, we can all proba­bly identify a couple of areas where cracks are beginning to show. Especially now, with the holidays approaching, family relationships can show the greatest signs of stress.
Don’t let the warnings go unheeded! Is there someone in your family whom you are strug­gling to love or forgive? Try to set the relationship on a firmer foun­dation—the foundation of Jesus’ teachings on love and mercy. Ideally, this may involve asking that person for forgiveness, or offer­ing forgiveness yourself. But it may also mean simply making a con­scious decision to treat that person with respect and continue to pray for healing and resolution in your relationship. Or it may mean just asking the Lord to keep the situa­tion from driving you crazy!
Whatever the situation, don’t feel as if you have to resolve everything by Christmas—although it would be wonderful if you could! If you could take just one more step in setting your own house on a more solid foundation, you will make sig­nificant progress. You can’t control how other people will respond to you, but you can set yourself on a foundation that will support what­ever stress may still be involved in the relationship.
“Jesus, help me to stand on solid rock in all my relationships this Advent. Guide me as I try to resolve any unsettled issues with my loved ones. Lord, I want my home to reflect your love, mercy, and peace.”
Isaiah 26:1-6; Psalm 118:1, 8-9, 19-21, 25-27

My father in law was in the kitchen as we went through it, and for the first time since moving in with him he actually listened and participated. Instead of derailing the direction of the conversation, he contributed and even mentioned how good it was for him to hear.
Can you imagine a more perfect moment?? We discussed forgiveness, how love was the answer to each of these problems, and we even broke into song at one point-- all singing the same hymn lyrics and realizing how they connected. It was the first time I felt TRUE fellowship with my children during bible STUDY. And I can't even begin to describe how beautiful our prayer time immediately afterwards was. They prayed from their hearts, and it was incredible.

My heart was filled with gratitude. And just as the theme for our week one of advent was HOPE, and as I had mentioned to the ladies at our Thankful for Advent party last week, through faithfulness to commit to family prayer time despite all distractions, faith is built, which leads to hope.

My friend Holly in Isla Vista went into labor on thanksgiving with their daughter Hope. Her husband says: "Remember that Thanksgiving gives birth to Hope!" It's true-- as we gathered round the breakfast table faithfully to pray and offer thanks, we received the gift of Hope!

So persevere, mammas, in family prayer time. Eventually those young ones will begin to grasp what you are trying to build and why, and better yet-- will bring their own bricks to lay on your firm foundation. All other ground is sinking sand!

Thankful for Advent Party 2012

Our first Shabbat of the Advent season.

Hello friends!

Last night was my annual "Thankful for Advent" party. This was the first year I have had a co-host and it was such an enjoyable experience. My dear friend Cherry and I have been in dialogue with God and each other all year over the same issues... namely discipleship, and our theme for this year was "Discipleship in the Family." Our hope was that, taking the Holy Family as their model, our guests would go home and look at advent in a new light- as an opportunity to create structured moments of prayer and traditions that lead to right living and discipleship in the midst of those closest to them. That what they started at Advent would stick all year long.
When Cherry gets a chance to type up the things she discussed, I will post them up here because they were so insightful! I love the joy she brings to everything. Before the party, my husband dropped me off at her home much earlier than she and I had planned. Because of that, I was present while her family had dinner and put up their first Jesse Tree ornament. Though I was nursing the baby in the next room while they ate to give them some privacy, I was so encouraged by the sweet sounds of a family doing just that--- parents teaching their children and training them up to live for the Lord. It was a beautiful blessing to me!

Another thing that greatly encouraged me was the topic. I got to share how one family made such an impact on me and reflect on how to impact my own family in the same way. And I got to use that family's own thoughts and blogs to do it. It was amazing!

So without further ado..... Here are the notes for Thankful  for Advent  2012! PLEASE join us next year if you missed this year.





ADVENT IS: -HOPEFUL EXPECTATION-

Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your Spirit and they shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.

O, God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit, did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy His consolations, Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.



1. Advent is waiting. But what are we waiting for?
JESUS to be birthed into the world.
We make a parallel between that and making a home for Him in our hearts.

2. How can we prepare ourselves to meet Him?

+ become holier
+ become more aware of Him
+ become more LIKE Him
_____________________
= PRAY, because we cannot do it alone. We need HIS Help, and He has sent us the Holy Spirit to do just that.
= STUDY, because we need to know how to pray and what to do
= ACT, because God will not move if we do not step out in faith and ACT. In fact, He says in the Word that faith without works is dead.

--Let’s look at those whose hearts WERE prepared to meet Him in the Bible for a minute: The Jews.


--During Advent, we study OT connections that prepare us for the coming of the Messiah
-- traditions like the Jesse Tree and the O Antiphons walk us through salvation history.

(see resource table)

-- I Encourage you to do that year-round as a faith builder
-- Start a havurah or small group if you aren't already in one, where you can study and pray alongside people who share a desire to KNOW God more. This will help motivate you as you learn alongside your family members. Maybe even get several families together!

(see resource table)

-- A Jewish rhythm of life is centered around the liturgical and life cycle.
-- This is the Catholic way and always has been, but the Catholic year centers on the fulfillment of the feasts in Christ.
-- Protestants are observing both more and more.

The Holy Spirit is doing this work to remind people that time is going somewhere… that all this ends one day. Advent is the greater part of a whole….Christmas is not the whole story, we have Easter too.

As Fr. Barron pointed out in the video—waiting is half of it, and ACTING is the other- stepping out in faith. Responding to the tasks He gives us. What tasks do we have?

To start, Jesus himself has given us a GREAT COMMISSION. Let’s read it:

MT 28: 16-20.
16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

So, God calls us to MAKE DISCIPLES, not just EVANGELIZE.

1. According to Scott Hahn’s Catholic Bible Dictionary, a disciple is a student or follower who emulates the example set by a master and seeks to identify with the master’s teachings.
(We can see, of course, that EVERYBODY is learning from someone from our kids responses to our teachings, even when we forget they are watching. Mt 10:24-25)
2. In a Jewish context (the culture of the students of Torah) a Rabbi means a “learned teacher.” A disciple means “his loving student.”
3. In fact, in the OT, the disciples followed the PROPHETS. (Is 8:16)
4. In the NT, John the Baptist had disciples (Mt 14:12, Jn 1:35, 3:25) as did the Pharisees (Mt 22:16, Mk 2:18, Lk 5:33) who called THEMSELVES disciples of Moses (Jn 9:28). There is a culture of discipleship that permeates the Bible. In the NT it most commonly means “a follower of Jesus Christ.”
BUT it can mean ANY follower. (acts 6:1, 9:1, 19, 13:52)
5. More specifically in the NT, it refers to one of the 12 apostles. (Mt 10:2, 28:16-20, Mk 16:14-18, Lk 24:47-49) There are over 250 references to DISCIPLE in the NT, most of which are found in the Gospels and in the book of ACTS.

Being a disciple of Jesus = radically different than any other experience of discipleship known to the Jews at that time. Why?

FIRST-- Most rabbis had followed the course of instruction of another rabbi. Jesus was no ordinary rabbi, because HE HAD NOT!

SECOND-- Rabbis sought permission to teach from Jewish authorities. Jesus did NOT seek it and did not need it! (Mt 13:54, John 7:15)

So: Jesus’ teaching was unprecedented.
(Mt 7:29, Mk 1:22)

ALSO-- His closest disciples did not come to Him for instruction. Instead, they were each PERSONALLY called by Him to a life of discipleship by His own authority!
(Mt. 4:18-22, Mk 1:16-20) (CCC 767, 787)

THIS discipleship was not merely a matter of listening to the teachings and learning wisdom. It was a commitment to a new way of life-- one modeled by Jesus!!

The Characteristics of this new discipleship were twofold:

FIRST- The disciples had to be willing to “take up their cross and follow Jesus.” (Mt 16:24, Mk 8:34, Lk 14:27)
SECOND- The disciples must be willing to LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND (family, friends, posessions) and share in His mission, joy, suffering, and even death for the sake of Jesus.
(Mt 8:19, 10:37, Lk 9:57, 14:26)

If you are a person who has ever gotten serious enough about God, I guarantee you have experienced both of these things.
--Carried your own cross
-- Left things/people behind.
If you have not, I encourage you to ask yourself WHY you haven’t yet? These are signs of our discipleship.

So there are FORMAL applications of discipleship, and there is a place and a time for those, as we have seen, and then there is the radically different experience of being a disciple of JESUS.
We have seen that we must PERSONALLY be discipled by JESUS, and that WE are called to represent Jesus to the world. We are called to BE discipled and TO disciple.

There are two aspects of human life that enable this process: family and community.

God willing, next year we will cover advent discipleship in the community. Today, we are focused on family. This might sound selfish, to start with ourselves, but families are in fact the building blocks of society.

--Consider that God Himself is a family.

Scott Hahn says:

"Earthly households reflect this in various ways but always imperfectly. “The life of the trinity is the central mystery of the Christian faith and life,” says the Catechism in 234. It is the source of all other mysteries of faith, and the light that enlightens them."

I have a personal story of how it enlightened me. Many years ago on Christmas Eve, God saved me by sending me a revelation of His Son. I wasn't looking for anything at the time and it wasn't something I was actively seeking out, but like his own disciples God called me to follow Him despite the fact that I was going along in life thinking everything was fine. Little did I know that everything was NOT fine and that the path I was on lead to death. When I realized that, it was like a lightbulb went off in my head and I knew that God had called me personally out of the crowd and asked me to give myself to Him in love. Of course, I had no choice but to say: "yes," but my next question was: "how??"

The event that occurred that Christmas eve was clearly one of a supernatural nature. By a series of  completely "random" events, I found myself in the middle of a nondenominational church service even though I had never been to one in my life. By contrast I had been going to Sunday mass and even daily mass, praying the rosary, and observing the Christian life all of my life.I often ask myself why that lightbulb never went off in mass, or during a Catholic retreat. It took me singing the words to a song: "I surrender all," and realizing I didn't mean them. It took an incredible series of events in which people I had never met to my right and to my left and behind me and in front of me, by a power I could not explain outside of "God," began speaking things to me which they could not possibly know-- speaking to me of my innermost hopes, my fears, my dreams. Speaking healing into places no one had ever seen. I came alive that night and I've never been the same since.

So now I knew, without a doubt, that Jesus was real. But next I needed to answer the question: "How now shall I live?"
And the answer to that seemed to be part of the Great Conversation I had had all my life. I was a Catholic-- I needed to go to mass. I needed to go to confession. I needed to pray the rosary. These things seemed obvious to me, and I did them with increasing zeal, but I was literally starving for more. I wanted to know how that internal change could reflect itself in my everyday actions. I often acted one way, and DESIRED to act another way. I was stuck.

Enter a family--- a family many of you have met or heard me talk about-- who was able to answer those questions.

At first, I just attended a bible study for young people in their home. Led by the father, a successful local businessman, I began at this Bible study to learn to do simple things like read my Bible every day, repent when I sinned (I can still see him standing up and giving us a visual image of a sinner-- an archer who had missed the mark) and ask for the baptism in the Holy Spirit. His wife was there serving us and listening to him with great respect, which made an impression on me. Though I had almost never heard her say a word, which was unheard of where I come from, her sweet presence and thoughtful, compassionate demeanor gave her a strength that very few women I had ever met have shared.
Eventually I began to pick up more details about righteous living. I learned to close my mouth instead of open it (I'm still working on that one) when I was going to say something unwise. I learned to fast and to wage spiritual warfare. I learned to look for spiritual gifts and put them to use.
And as I did, I learned the things that this family had learned from other families who had sown into their lives. Over time, I was introduced to this man's daughter, and she -- thank God-- saw through the mess I was and shared her life with me to help me see that God had plans for me. We developed a relationship and she became one of my most treasured friends. To this day, I often want to call and ask her: "what do you think I should about.....(insert random difficult situation here.)"
To her credit, I am always reminded that she would tell me: "well, what does your husband think?" Such a friend is a priceless treasure.

-- I still in my daily life retain their teachings and I still pass them on to my own children and the people I find myself in discipleship or counseling situations with. How many of you have heard of Elisabeth Elliot, Derek Prince or Charles Simpson because of me? How many of you have heard me mention Liza or her father?  I am certain that every person in this room whom I have met have heard these names from me because I have shared again and again how their faithfulness to teach what they themselves had learned had changed my life. But more importantly, how many of you have heard me mention JESUS? If today I can speak to you of our Lord with love and tenderness, it is because long ago these people were faithful to speak to me of God's love and of their journey with Him. These people have become a part of me, and a part of the children I am raising. Through them I have learned to know God myself, and become an active part of Christ's mystical body. So are my children! What a beautiful thing one family can do.

So what exactly did this family do that was so different from what I had experienced in the past?

-- They never once tried to mold me so that I would conform to THEM, but rather to CHRIST in my own circumstances and with my own specific gifts. They asked the Holy Spirit for wisdom in counseling me, and they were receptive to what God told them, even when it meant that I was to do things differently than they had.

-- They were also willing to love me through some serious sin in my life. Because they so clearly mirrored God to me, I often hid from them the truth about what I was doing or thinking because I was afraid they would see me in my sinfulness and not like me! But instead, because they were people of prayer, they seemed to always know my sin even before I realized it WAS sin, and to love me anyways despite it-- gently guiding me towards right living. Even today, years later, when I am struggling in a parenting decision, Liza has reminded me that it is GOD'S KINDESS that leads us to repentance. (Romans 2:4)

--They took their role in discipleship more seriously than any other job they had. First towards each other and then towards the rest of us. This is a biblical pattern I believe is necessary to follow.

-- So that’s the story of how A FAMILY modeled after the HOLY FAMILY turned me towards Jesus and taught me how to live for Him by being disciples themselves.

-- Later on, I reflected about the role of my family in discipleship towards me. My family had always taken me to church each week, made sure I knew how to say certain prayers, that I received the sacraments and that I lived by the liturgical year. But there was NO discipleship in my home, because there was no desire to pass on a personal relationship or personal revelation, or to ensure that I was interacting with a LIVING God. People prayed behind closed doors and did not talk about Jesus as if He were a real part of their lives, but more as if He were a distant and mysterious God. They turned to him in trouble, but rarely in good times. And even then, He was distant, not present among us. It's ironic, looking back, because I was RECEIVING Jesus Christ in the Eucharist at the time--- closer than my breath. But somehow I had boarded a sinking ship... and yet He called me.

Here I am enjoying a Cajun breakfast with Liza years ago

My hope is that my OWN children will have a relationship with us that is more like the relationship that Liza has with her own parents—one of mutual encouragement, discipleship and trust in the Lord Jesus. Together. And because of her, I learned to honor my OWN father and mother, and my husband, and to work to build that in my OWN family. Because we want that for our children, we have had to model it ourselves for them.



In the past at these parties we have talked a great deal about the traditions of advent, and I suspect that’s why many of you are here. Every year, people come because they want to learn new traditions to use during advent!

Those traditions, which we are all becoming more familiar with, are an essential part of the “great preparation.” They help to form hearts and minds and speak a tactile language to the people in our lives. They help us to form a community, and a Church, and they cause us to quiet ourselves and HEAR God.

Tonight, though, we are going to focus on a different aspect: that of DISCIPLESHIP in the home, which happens when the reasons behind those traditions become like little lightbulbs over our children’s heads.
Next year, God willing, we will discuss discipleship in the COMMUNITY, but today we are going to look at the example of the Holy Family—of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus.

-A note of caution: Be careful not let the personal aspect of discipleship in the family deter you from the traditional aspect. There must be a healthy uniting of these two things: tradition and personal revelation-- within the family in order for the family to thrive, just as we need this in the greater context of the Church. Protestants might be uncomfortable with using the word tradition just as they are with using the word "religion." But the reality is that in tradition there is structure, and in structure-- there is peace.

- These traditions are what transform culture from mundane to HOLY. There is a tendency in some people to reject tradition because people are afraid that it stifles the Holy Spirit. This could not be further from the truth--- in fact, they enable us to quiet OURSELVES, submit to one another, and hear God. Of course, it is possible to MISS the actions of the Holy Spirit because one is so focused on a tradition, and that would be a shame. Ideally, these two aspects are interwoven in a beautiful tapestry of grace.

-- We, the Church, are called and set apart. Like Israel, we are called to live in community, and God came at Christmas to dwell among us to demonstrate that fact. There is nothing “individual” about the Christian life… our sin affects all others just as our peace affects all others. These very traditions which we are building into our lives or which we grew up on are there to bond us one to another in faith, hope, and love. Just as Jews the world over feel a kinship as they light the sabbath lights, so we too as Christians recognize our brothers and sisters in the actions of advent preparation in the home.

-- It was the traditions of the Jewish people that enabled them to SEE and RECOGNIZE Jesus when He came, and of his disciples to SEE and SHARE him after He had gone again. It speaks the language of salvation to all those whom God is calling.

- The story of advent is the story of how ONE family welcomed a child and changed the world.
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INDIVIDUAL OR GROUP ACTIVITY

Advent is separated into FOUR weeks, and each of the weeks has a theme.

FIRST WEEK OF ADVENT: HOPE
THE KEY TO HOPE IS FAITH
Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.



-- Hope is brought to our family through regular prayer and the establishment of a relationship with God.
-- Hope is an attitude of the heart.
-- Hope is built out of our faith. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.

1. READ LIZA'S BLOG ENTRY:  “WHAT MY FATHER SAYS ABOUT BEING SPIRITUAL” This is about the need for structure AND personal revelation and how they work together to build FAITH.

2. DISCUSS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO BUILD YOUR OWN FAITH? YOUR FAMILY’S FAITH? CAN YOU INCREASE THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND PRAYING? PRAY TOGETHER?
HOW CAN THE TRADITIONS OF ADVENT POINT YOU TOWARDS PRAYER?
BRAINSTORM, and PREPARE  an answer to this question:
“THIS FIRST WEEK OF ADVENT, WHEN THE FOCUS IS ON HOPE, I CAN DO THESE THINGS TO DISCIPLE MY FAMILY IN HOPE….”

SECOND WEEK OF ADVENT: PEACE
THE KEY TO PEACE IS GRACE
Matthew 5:9 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.



-- God desires for our families to be places of peace (A shalom bayit or “house of peace” in the Jewish tradition.)
--God sent His Son so that we may HAVE peace. He sent the Holy Spirit to enable us to LIVE this peace of heaven in the midst of the storm.

1. READ “What my father says about finding Grace for your journey.”
2. DISCUSS: WHAT IS OUR RESPONSE WHEN OUR HOMES ARE NOT PLACES OF PEACE, BUT PLACES OF CHAOS? WHEN DOES THIS MOST FREQUENTLY OCCUR? WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF OUR TENSIONS AS FAMILIES? WHAT CAN WE DO TO BRING GOD’S PEACE TO OUR EVERYDAY STRESSFUL SITUATIONS? DID THIS ARTICLE HELP YOU TO SEE THAT FAITH IS A JOURNEY?
BRAINSTORM and PREPARE an  answer to this question:
“THIS SECOND WEEK OF ADVENT, WHEN THE FOCUS IS ON PEACE, I CAN DO THESE THINGS TO DISCIPLE MY FAMILY IN PEACE…”

THIRD WEEK OF ADVENT(Gaudete—“rejoicing”—Sunday): JOY
THE KEY TO JOY IS OUR NEW NATURE!
Isaiah 12:6 “… Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.”



-- Joy is the representation to others of our faith in Christ. We are to be marked by Joy.
-- We are called to even SUFFER joyfully!

1. READ “What my father says about The New Nature.”
2. DISCUSS: WHEN IS IT HARDEST TO FEEL AND REFLECT JOY IN FAMILY LIFE? HOW MUCH DO OUR CHILDREN REFLECT OUR LACK OF JOY IN THESE AREAS? WHAT CAN WE DO TO CHANGE THAT? WHO WAS THE MOST JOYFUL SUFFERER YOU HAVE EVER MET AND HOW DID THEY AFFECT YOU?
BRAINSTORM and then PREPARE and answer to this question:
“THIS THIRD WEEK OF ADVENT, WHEN THE FOCUS IS ON JOY, I CAN DO THESE THINGS TO DISCIPLE MY FAMILY IN JOY…”


FOURTH WEEK OF ADVENT: LOVE
THE KEY TO LOVE IS SELF-SACRIFICE AND PATIENT ENDURANCE THROUGH TRIALS
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.



- We are a people of Love, as seen on Christmas day when we celebrate Love come down to earth to be among us.
- Love is best expressed in a family through the marital relationship and the openness of the couple to new life (children.)

1. Read “What my father says about marriage.”
2. DISCUSS: WHAT TYPES OF TRIALS DO MANY MARRIAGES NOT OVERCOME? WHAT SAFEGUARDS CAN WE PUT IN PLACE TO ENSURE THAT OUR MARRIAGES REFLECT GOD’S LOVE? WHAT DO OUR CHILDREN LEARN ABOUT LOVE FROM OBSERVING MARRIAGE IN ACTION?
BRAINSTORM AND THEN PREPARE FOR US THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION:
“THIS FOURTH WEEK OF ADVENT, WHEN THE FOCUS IS ON LOVE, I CAN DO THESE THINGS TO DISCIPLE MY FAMILY IN LOVE…”

Close with Prayer:

We praise You God, for You are Holy and there is none like You.
We confess that we have been so busy looking outwards that we have failed to see the discipleship in our families that you have called us to. We confess pride and bitterness towards our family members and stubbornness that keeps us from loving them as You do.
We thank you for the pattern of discipleship in the Bible and the Church who has preserved this pattern in her traditions. We thank you for those individuals and families who have sacrificed so that You might be glorified in them.
And we ask that You would be with each woman here as they evaluate how to answer your call to disciple her family this Advent. We pray for an increase in Faith during this whole Year of Faith so that she might be aware of Your Presence and Your Will for her family.

1. Remember that it was JESUS who called his disciples and not the other way around. I encourage you to look for opportunities to disciple people in your family EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE NOT ASKED.

2. For some of you, starting a new tradition in your home, especially a prayerful one, is a daunting task. Don’t give up. Remember that faith is a journey!!

3. Please let Cherry or myself know if you need prayer or a little extra help in this area.

Thank you, God, for two years with our Snoodle!

Well, it's the snoodle's second birthday today!
We are so thankful she has made it here!!

Here are some pictures from the last two years. I get weepy just thinking about it.

We love you, Snoodle!

Large and in charge... aint no rest for this preggo. :D

a born bean.

The family gets to meet her... but alas, not take her home. :(

The day they finally let me take her home. Happy Mamma.

Babywearing is always the best solution for sick babies.

Getting to know everybody!

Rite of Initiation into the Christian Family. Grace upon grace for this child.

More Boils... More pain.

Getting used to the new normal.

Our home away from home.

Best Icky Face Maker ever

First birthday...

Making sure it's still there.

Total G.R.I.T

With her BFF.

I wanna do school too!!

Alpine cherry and waffle eating adventure. :)

Backpacking through Europe with mommy...

We're in Marseille... how can we NOT be elated??

Little French Bean.

Happy birthday, little Snoodle! We love you!!!

Wordless wednesday-- Highlights from our trip home to France