Mama Mondays: Family Help from Scripture

A Biblical Guide to Family Life

But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. - Lk 2:19
And be ye doers of the word and not hearers only. (James 1:22)

1. What does God think about us as individual people?
   1. Before He formed us in the womb, He knew us. (Jer 1:5) We are fearfully and wonderfully made! (Ps 139:14) He has plans to prosper us and not harm us, to give us a future filled with hope. (Jer 29:11) He wants none of us to be lost and all of us to be saved. (Matt 18:14)
2. What does God want us to do about our behavior? How can we tell if we are living right in our family and in the world?
   
   1. Here is what God's Word has to say about some of our most basic problem behaviors towards family members:
   2. ACCUSING    Do not accuse a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm (Pr. 3:30).
      ANGER    Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret it leads only to the evil (Ps. 37:8).    Of wise man fears for the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hot headed and reckless.  A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Pr 14:16-17).    A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Pr. 29:11).   
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   4. ARGUING AND FIGHTING    A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Pr. 15:1).    A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Pr. 15:18).When a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him (Pr. 16:7).    Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out (Pr. 17:14).    It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Pr. 20:3)Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Tim. 2:23-24).    All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble (1 Pet. 3:6).
      BAD COMPANIONS    He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm (Pr. 13:20).
      BAD LANGUAGE    Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips (Pr. 4:24).    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Eph. 4:31).
      BITTER SPIRIT    Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger; brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (Eph. 4:31).
      BOASTFULNESS  Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips (Pr. 27:2).
      COMPLAINING    Do everything without complaining or arguing (Ph. 2:14).
      CONCEALING SIN    He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy (Pr. 28:13).
      CRITICAL SPIRIT    A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue (Pr. 11:12).
      DECEITFULNESS    The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out (Pr. 10:9).    The noble man makes noble plans, and by noble deeds he stands (Is. 32:8).    Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to who we must give account (Heb. 4:13).
      DISCONTENT    Godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out of it.  But if we have food and clothing we will be content with that.  People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.  Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Tim. 6: 6-10).
      DISOBEDIENCE TO PARENTS    Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you (Ex. 20:12).    Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.  They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck (Pr. 1:8-9).    Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  "Honor your father and mother"which is the first commandment with a promise "that it may go well with your and that you may enjoy long life on the earth (Eph. 6:1-3).    Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord (Col. 3:20).
      DISORDERLINESS    But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way (1 Cor. 14:40).
      DISRESPECT    Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves (Rom. 12:10).    Show proper respect to everyone; Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king ( 1 Pet. 2:17).
      FOOLISHNESS    The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline (Pr. 1:7).    As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly (Pr. 26:11).
      GOING ALONG WITH THE CROWD    My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them (Pr. 1:10).
      HATE    Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs (Pr. 10:12).    Whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him (1 Jn. 2:11).    If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, how he has not seen (1 Jn. 4:20).
      IGNORING ADVICE    The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice (Pr. 12:14).    He who ignores discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored (Pr. 13:180.    He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding (Pr. 15:32).    No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:11).
      SCORN AND MOCKING    If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer (Pr. 9:12).    The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures (Pr. 30:17).
      SELFISHNESS    A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed (Pr. 11:25).    An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment (Pr. 18:1).A stingy man is eager to get rich and is unaware that poverty awaits him (Pr. 28:22).    Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others (Ph. 2:3-4).    And do not forget to do good and to share with other, for with such sacrifices God is pleased (Heb. 13:16).
      TATTLING AND NAME CALLING    Whoever spreads slander is a fool (Pr. 10:18b).    He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends (Pr. 17:9).    Without wood a fire goes out, without gossip a quarrel dies down (Pr. 26:20).
      UNCONTROLLED TONGUE    He who guards his lips guards his soul, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin (Pr. 13:3).    A fool's talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protect them (Pr.14:3).    He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23).    But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken (Mt. 12:36).    Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech (1 Pet. 3:10).
      UNFORGIVING SPIRIT    Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you (Col. 3:13).    Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Eph. 4:32).
      UNGRATEFULNESS    Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (Ps. 118:1).    Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Th. 5:18).
      UNKINDNESS    A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings himself harm (Pr. 11:17).    Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:4-5).    As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Cor. 3:12).
      UNTRUSTWORTHINESS    As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is a sluggard to those who send him (Pr. 10:26).    Pride only breeds quarrels but wisdom is found in those who take advice (Pr. 13:10).
      IMPATIENCE    The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride (Ec. 7:8).    The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23a).    Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Eph. 4:2).
      JEALOUSY AND ENVY    A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the body (Pr. 14:30).    For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (Js. 3:16).
      LAZINESS    Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth (Pr. 10:4).    The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied (Pr. 13:4).    One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys (Pr. 18:9).    It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young (Lam. 3:27).
      LYING    Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies (Ps. 23:12-13).    The Lord detests lying lips but delights in men who are truthful (Pr. 12:22).
      PRIDE    The Lord mocks proud mockers, but gives graces to the humble (Pr. 3:34).    When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom (Pr. 11:2).    Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall (Pr. 16:18).    Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor (Pr. 18:12).
      RETALIATION    A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Pr. 12:16).    A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense (Pr. 19:11).    Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone (Rom. 12:17-18).    Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else (1 Th. 5:15).    Do not repay even with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Pet. 3:9).
      REFUSING COMMANDS    The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin (Pr. 10:8).    He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded (Pr. 13:13).
      REFUSING CORRECTION    My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the    Lord disciplines those he loves as a father the son he delight in (Pr. 3:11-12).    Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning (Pr. 9:9).    He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads other astray (Pr. 10:17).    Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he how hates correction is stupid (Pr. 12:1).
3. We profess faith in Christ. What are we to do with each other if we continue to sin after we are corrected? And how should we correct one another?
   
   1. Warn divisive people once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. (Titus 3:10) Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. (Galatians 6:1) So watch yourselves. "If a brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. (Luke 17:3) Yet do not regard them as enemies, but warn them as fellow believers. (2 Thess 3:15) Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. (Titus 2:2) Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. (Titus 2:6) Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (1 Peter 5:5) Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers. (1 Tim 5:1) "that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefaceness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" (I Tim. 2:9, 10) and remember that Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Tim 6:6) Remember also that "adorning not be that outward adorning of platting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or putting on of apparel: But let it be the hidden man of the heart, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (I Pet. 3:3, 4).
4. What should we do if we have an argument?
   
   1. Love your enemies, and do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. To him who strikes you, offer the other cheek also, and from him who takes away your {cloak} do not withhold your {tunic} either. Give to anyone who asks of you and from him who takes away your good do not ask for them back. Just as you want men to do to you, do also. Be merciful, as your Father is merciful. (Lk 6:27-32) He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit better than he who takes a city. (Prov 16:32) Confess your trespasses and pray. (James 5:16) We must ALWAYS remember that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. We must take unto ourselves the whole armour of God, that we may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. (Ephesians 6:12,13)
5. How many times are we to forgive one another?
   
   Matthew 18:21-22 - Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
6. What should be our greatest aspiration?
   
   1. Aim for perfection, listen to the apostles' appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. (2 Cor 13:11) Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. (Colossians 4:5)