Confession

I had the opportunity to go to confession for the first time in quite a while the other day. I was so excited as I like to go frequently and haven't been able to. But when I arrived, the line was practically out the door! (aaaand in headcoverings, no less!) Now, this is rare and cause for rejoicing, but the selfish part if me was sad I would certainly not get confession that day.
I knelt in the front pew and quietly told God I accepted His will but hoped to be confessed. No sooner had I taken my place in line than a little old man carrying a worn Magnificat got up from the front and walked aaaalllll the way over to me. Stooping down to my height he very politely asked if I would please take his place at the front. Try as I might to decline, everyone in the line agreed that it was best, so off I went, amazed at how God had answered my prayer.
Further, my confessor happened to be one of my favorite priests, a Benedictine monk with contemplative tendencies and a thorough understanding of Carmelite spirituality. He heard my confession and then as pennance gave me to pray for three Carmelite convents he had had much contact with back in Germany. When the Nazis were executing people, they always read a decree that began: "in the name of the German people..."
These carmelite nuns at Auschwitz, Dachau and in Berlin pray and make sacrifices day and night in reparation for the sins of the German people!
Wow. I was so moved and couldn't wait to get home to find an address to write to them.
When I did, I was amazed to find that instead if being beloved these nuns were reviled for what they do and had suffered much violence against them because of it. It is hard for me to fathom that a person could give up all personal relationships and freedom to become cloistered and pray and still be asked to suffer so much!!

St Teresa says that Carmelites are chosen by God because he knows they can endure so much suffering.

Lately, my daughter has been really into the story of the Marian apparition at Fatima. The first thing that Mary asked the children was: God wants me to ask if you are you willing to suffer to save souls? The suffering will be great.

I noticed that the other two visionaries were taken to heaven quite early, but Lucia--- she grew to a very old age and became a Carmelite nun. Teresa must be right... And I'm coming to terms with that idea, that suffering is a gift and not a curse.

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