The Brilliant Dawn of Post-Modern Asexualism

Another one from my husband I thought was brilliant. He and I were DISGUSTED with the man-hating NFL commercials on Superbowl Sunday. This was the result of our musings on the loss of manhood in society:

Guys, it's time for us to wake up and see the daylight. In this brave new world where we aren't held back by glorified campfire stories of crazy, vindictive deities, we must make full use of all we have around us, as individuals and as communities.
With no abusive "sky person" to inhibit our decision making or scare us with superstitions, we can cast off with impunity these gender roles which have divided us for so long. In the previous century, we saw the rosy tipped fingers of this post-modern dawn extending across the plains of human existence. Women courageously armed themselves to the teeth with their sexuality and their wit and set off to blaze a trail of defiance for future generations against those who had for so long oppressed them. They shocked the world with the stunning speed wherewith they turned the tables on humanity. Like giants they dangled the meat of their liberated sexuality and pizazz over the ravenous masses of ignorant males who, like dogs, salivated in ignorance. They were all too eager to abandon their dignity and societal roles to get at the savory, sultry goods... and with the dogs distracted, the women hopped over the fence, over the social barriers into the realm of what had previously only been male roles. Little did they know that before their feet would hit the ground the dogs would have devoured the meat and turned to devour them. So greatly did they underestimate the voracious appetite of those pigs!

However, even after they had been used and abused for their meat in this new territory, the struggle went on, for life, for liberty! And the fight goes on today. They learned better how to use their femininity. As with all progress, it is a trial and error method, and the blows suffered could do no harm to their ardor and their august character. Great advances have been made! The sacred right to abortion, for one, is a huge advance. In a fore-time, misogynistic males would dictate what women would have to do with their bodies, but never again! Our society shall remember those brave women who exercised that sacred right to abort. Pornography is another gargantuan statement of liberty and independence, for the empowerment of women.

No more shall women be shackled to the family life, to being a mother. No more will they be relegated to the cheap and shameful status of "housewife."

Classical manliness, that bastardization of humanity, is all but extinct. The days where a man could say to himself," My family needs me, I will provide no matter what." are over, because they don't need him. Such sentiments are a crutch only for the most backward and ignorant males. Today's modern male knows that it is his obligation and reparation to women to remain ever vulnerable. The modern man strives to realize these things by only having jobs and differing the seeking of a career to their life mate. A real man would never seek to impregnate their life mate and ruin their partners opportunities. A real man wouldn't try force her to marry him, because marriage is a shackle and shackles are a symbol of punishment and distrust. A real man will make sure that his partner can have a career so that she can be independent and realize her potential. After all, that is a sign of trust... trust that she loves him and won't leave after she has a career he paid for, which is a great life lesson for the male.

Modern men aren't worried about having kids, hunting, playing sports, building, growing a beard, being involved in civics, or philosophizing to prove their manliness. In fact, many of them now regularly procure vasectomies, volunteer at animal shelters, hate beards and shun competitive sports. They're sure of their manliness, so much so, they have abandoned these antiquated and foolish "machismo" venues for more enjoyable venues... like video games, pornography/ masturbation, drinking what misogynists call "girl drinks", skateboarding, and dressing like teenagers. In previous generations, men would avoid most creature comforts to prove their manliness and to teach themselves morals, morals given by a prehistoric zombie god named Jesus. The modern man is beyond those ignorant and futile constructs, he is enlightened. He is an experientialist and an experimentalist, he believes in nothing and stands for nothing... he just lives and let's live. He's neither ashamed or afraid to indulge. He stands up only for everyone's right to be themselves and never judges anything.

The modern man isn't afraid to cry, even in public. He doesn't selfishly take upon himself the mantle of "provider and leader" like men throughout the ages have, rather he empowers the woman to take up those roles or does it together with her. The modern man isn't afraid to talk about his feelings, he shares his emotions. He isn't afraid to intimately vent his frustrations with people and just get it all out. He is polite, and never shares his opinions... especially on politics and religion. Unless, there is an opportunity for social norms to be changed and the old order brought down. He is a revolutionary in this new age! He is a gregarious sort! You've seen him, making himself the butt of jokes dealing with gender roles, because he is confident. He laughs along when old ideas about manliness are mocked, when male ineptitude and dependency on females is implied. He's not concerned with distinguishing himself as a man, he uses feminine slang and makes aesthetic attempts at androgyny. It's obvious that compared to pathetic examples of men we have from the past, that he is stronger than them, and more confident. We can see this in how frequently he berates his sex and himself, and how he minds not at all when men are given the short end.

He is not bound by ignorance in sex either. The modern man is proud of his wife's or life partners freedom. He's a wife sharer and a cuckold. As one song goes," The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care."

The modern man is heavily engaged in reparation to women through self-humiliation and abasement. The modern woman is a sexually charged, rebellious, diva who takes what she wants, doesn't have to rely on anyone, doesn't need to thank anyone, and doesn't need anyone to forgive her. More and more the lines have blurred. The sun has risen into a brilliant dawn of post-modern asexuality. A new age where men and women don't need each other, where there is no more gender or gender role... but only one human race! Isn't it beautiful!?? *crazy-care bear stare* *chuckling*

Seriously, though... pull your heads out of each others asses people. Take a look in the proverbial mirror and tighten up. There's a whole generation of idiots who are counting on you.