Peace Reigns

Having such an amazing week and I'm sorry for not updating my blog more this week. I'm also sorry (And hopefully you read this) for those who rightly deserve emails and what nots from me that I've had to neglect as we search for jobs. (D'vora, Crystal, Dara, Doris, etc... so sorry!)

The job hunt has been going relatively well. There are practically no jobs in Fayetteville worth a dime but I'm persevering and finding some interesting solutions. We have filled out so many applications in the last two weeks my mind is spinning!

The housing market in Philadelphia is surprisingly affordable-- I'm kind of shocked ,actually. I'm sure if we found the right job we would be able to make it there. We are also looking at Las Vegas, mostly because we would love to be close to our dear friends the Hommels and close enough to family and friends in Cali without actually having to LIVE in Cali. There are some excellent job opps there as well, although the cost of living is significantly higher. To be honest, I feel much more "connected" to the idea of a big east coast city, with public trains for transportation, lots of history, etc. At the same time, there are many benefits of living out west. And I know if we lived in Vegas people would want to come visit. :P

We have developped a friendship (or rather re-developped) with a couple named Ryann and Derek. Ryann is Wayne's brother's ex girlfriend. When he was living with us in the beginning of our marriage, they were in high school, dropping out, and to be honest-- quite a handful. Since then she has gotten married, had a baby, and is now a Christian, which makes her right in the same place I am. I enjoy spending time with her and it's a good opportunity for me to pour into a younger woman. Her class just had their prom and she works three jobs and maintains an amazing home, so I really admire her. Her husband is also really nice... enthusiastic, driven, and obsessed with apologetics, which means he and Wayne have a blast. Also, she wants me to teach her to knit, which will be fun!

Yesterday, I got to connect with an old friend on the phone and catch up for several years of communication light. It was WONDERFUL to talk to her and made me msis her a ton.

Yesterday, Wayne and his dad went out on the lake in the canoe and had a man's day out. Me and the kids stayed home and FINALLY had a day to really scour the house. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but I did get a lot done, which is what matters.

Last night I went to confession and then Wayne and I went to Mass together. We really love going to mass. It's a very profound experience for us because we are both like little, hushed, excited children participating in the mystery, as opposed to when we went to regular church together and were in different spiritual places and what not. The mass is about uniting our individual participation to the sacredness of what is at hand, if that makes sense. You get out of it what you put into it. I can totally understand people who go there and are bored.... although I can't relate.
After dinner, Father Tony came over and we hung out until nearly two in the morning! I'm totally exhausted now, but it was so worth it. The guy is just amazing. I feel so fortunate that we came into St Patrick's at a time where he is the Parochial Vicar (or slave, as he likes to say.) Not only do we all connect on a fundamental, love of the Word of God kind of level--- being an ex baptist, he understands exactly where we are coming from-- but he is a deeply spiritual person. I know you tend to think that all priests are, but in my experience that isn't necessarily the case. Many priests come to a point in their careers where they kinda hit a wall and just stop. But his genuine faith is just so refreshing!!! He is so humbled by Christ that it can bring him to tears--- and does. He does everything he can to connect with people on a personal level, often at the expense of his precious personal time, etc. He is as broken and contrite before the Lord in the sacrament of confession as the penitent is. He is as moved by the Eucharist as I am right now, all the time. He is just amazing.
How many pastors in charge of a 1600 family member church do you know that can do that? His humility humbles me and everyone who comes into contact with him. His enthusiasm and love for the Lord is just totally captivating. But as I suspected, there's more to it even than that.

I haven't talked much about mysticism, or the "mystical" aspect of many functions of the Catholic Church, but I'm going to now. They recently excavated, for example, the remains of Padre Pio, an Italian Capuchin Franciscan Friar who died over forty years ago. His body was found to be preserved... like many of the incorruptible bodies of the saints before him. This is a phenomenon that many protestants are unfamiliar with--- the literal preserving by God of the body of some people in death who dedicated themselves wholly to His service in life. Among other things, Padre Pio labored in the confessional for sometimes over sixteen hours at a time, had healing gifts, deliverance gifts, came under terrible attack by the devil, experienced the stigmata (the actual wounds of Christ appeared on his body one day while he was saying his post-mass prayers before the crucifix. forever after, the five wounds bled openly on his body, and doctors estimated that he lost about a cup of blood a day through them.) and was a profoundly spiritual person who had an effect on everyone he came into contact with. He's one of my favorite saints.
Lives such as his are not rare in the history of the church. Early church fathers and mothers experienced such incredible displays of God's power that it's astounding to me that the whole world isn't Christian as a result of seeing and hearing about these things. Aside from the obvious example of the incorruptible bodies of dead saints, for example, there are Eucharistic miracles which cannot be explained-- where the Consecrated Hosts on the alter literally have BECOME flesh... in the case of some places, heart flesh (!) and blood (type AB every time!) and/ or are preserved to this day. We spoke last night on the Satanic mass, and it's basic using of the entire Mass for a sacriligious end. We spoke about how satanists often break into the church and steal the consecrated hosts--- even stabbing them and otherwise disrespecting them . Another example are the marian apparitions. There are VERY mystical things happening the world over that have been happening for ever... and it's far deeper than just raising the dead or casting out demons.

In the same way, Father Tony's description of his experience of the Holy Mass is just incredible. He literally sees the blood dripping off the crucifix, sees the Body in the tomb, sees the stone rolled away as he goes through the rites wich represent each part of the life, death and resurrection of Christ.... he explained that he is dissolved in sweat by the end of Mass for the power that he sees present in it daily. As he prays over the bread and wine that they would become really Christ, he is always totally freaked out--- thinking "Lord, I am SO not worthy!" I am so blessed by this testimony which shows me that the power of God is available to us through the Mass--- that in the Mass, which is a perfect prayer, we are all united in something so profoundly sacred I hesitate to even begin to describe it for fear that I cannot do it justice. I feel so privileged that God has called me to His table. I feel so blessed to be able to partake of the Eucharist. It really has changed my life.

It's hard not being able to discuss this stuff with people. I don't really have any Catholic friends yet and I definitely get wierd looks from the protestant friends I attempt to talk about this with. I am praying for fellowship that goes deeper than just both being believers.

Well, I'm off to church. The kids are up, etc. I wanted to talk about our convalidation but I'll do that in a later blog. Happy Ascension Sunday everyone. May those of you who are reading and who participate in the Mass truly recognize the privilege of being present at Calvary. May peace reign in all our hearts as we watch Christ rise and await the Holy Spirit's descent in pentecost this week.