Random Rant- Motherhood is bad for you. Really.

The Duggar Family

Motherhood is bad for you.
That's the message so many of my triumphant progressive acquaintances have gleaned and celebrated from a new study which recently surfaced in the New England Journal of Medicine.


A new study financed by the pro-abortion Susan Thompson Buffett Foundation, might I add.
*false autism / vax connection crisis anyone?*
But I digress....


This article has been gleefully reposted on facebook over and over by the progressive crowds, pro-aborts, and feminists as being somehow proof that all mothers who persist in having legions of kids must, in some sense, be slightly ... "off." That those sneaking suspicions these people had that Michelle Duggar, for example, couldn't possibly be as sane and happy as she claims to be were now "proven accurate." On my own facebook page, I've had it posted and emailed to me at least seven times in the last week as a sort of "aha!" towards me, proof positive that all my pro-motherhood and pro-life posting is obsolete and possibly even.... dangerous.

To which I say:

And who wouldn't find childbirth and motherhood traumatic instead of glorious in this sick society?? We are weak, and the message being spread is so strong!
This society values women who kill their children and choose careers over parenthood. The persistent message is that children are an unnecessary, and even an unnatural burden.

I use public health. In order to recieve medical care for my pregnancy, I must first see a doctor who will give me a pink slip that says I am pregnant, which I can then bring to social services. I go to the public health department, stand in line with all the teenage girls, pee in a cup and hand it over. The way it looks is like this:

When it is announced to me that I am to bring a child in the world, I am put in a room with a nurse on one side and a social worker on the other. They introduce themselves. Then, the nurse, on my right, announces the pregnancy by saying: "Your test is positive."
They pause to allow me to respond however I am going to respond.
The Social Worker then asks me: "Are you going to terminate?" If I respond in the negative (in my case, emphatically in the negative!) they tell me that there is a program available for those who decide to keep the baby which supports the woman through the pregnancy. (Having been through this program during my second pregnancy, I will say here that this "support" includes bi-monthly visits from a social worker who assesses your situation by making judgements about your income, ability to cope, parenting skills with any other child you might have, and asking at almost every encounter which birth control method you will use once you are no longer pregnant.) They also give you a brochure that helps you to procure an abortion should you change your mind.
 Next, they begin their line of questioning:
"Were you planning this pregnancy?"
"No."
"So you are surprised."
"Not entirely. I understand that a by-product of having sex is that I might get pregnant."
"What type of birth control were you using?"
"I do not use birth control."
"Oh, well then you can't be surprised that you are pregnant!"
"I practice NFP."
"What's that?"
"It's a method of determining when ovulation occurs and abstaining from sex during the fertile periods."
"Oh, rhythm."
"no, it's not the rhythm method. It is far more scientific."
"OK. What type of birth control methods will you use when this pregnancy is over?"
(note how they never say things like... "after the Baby is born?" Rather, they constantly refer to the condition as "the pregnancy" so that the patient won't feel traumatized about ending it should she decide to.)
"None. I don't believe in using contraceptives."
"You realize that you may get pregnant again if you choose not to use birth control."
"I realize that."

And just like that, it begins. This is how I begin to be conditioned to believe that by saying "yes" to motherhood, I'm somehow saying "no" to normal life.

The message of our society is that new life is a burden. Unbelievably, pregnancy and parenting magazines are FILLED to the brim with this message.... going on and on and on about how much pampering we should be getting and how difficult it is. They always finish with "but it's all worth it." And it is!
But why the negative attention pregnancy receives? Satan is smart, and he knows what the result of all the focus on the challenges of pregnancy will do:
It dcreates momzillas in those who actually choose to embrace the child growing inside of them-- the pregnant version of the bridezilla-- selfish, obnoxious, and difficult. Clammoring for a comfortable chair, a favorite restaurant, an open window.
Everything about our society is backwards. The men are encouraged to lay everything side to wait hand and foot on the women, who literally are encouraged to do nothing but get backrubs and eat ice cream while getting their toes painted and think about "me, me, ME!"
No wonder the transition into motherhood is so hard for women today--- once the baby is born and the mother begins having to be self-less, the difficulties arise. Why do so many women experience postpartum depression, even REJECTING their newborn child?? Could it be that the transition from self-focus to focus on another is almost impossible to overcome without help these days?

You see, in this society, we tell women all the time that while dedication to motherhood is important, CHOOSING motherhood over other pursuits is equivalent to mental suicide. If we can't convince women NOT to have kids (and more and more of them are "childfree by choice,")  then we convince them to kill the children when they are conceived. If we can't convince them to kill the children, we convince them to become so utterly selfish and self-centered that when the baby is born, they hate it... utterly rejecting it as a source of joy and growth. Nevertheless, truth prevails, and the message-- which is that giving is more important than receiving and that openness to life is the ultimate measure of personal growth-- comes through because somewhere inside each woman we instinctively understand these things... that we are better people for the children we are raising.

Because of the state of society, most women take an entire lifetime with only one or two children to actually grasp the fullness of this lesson... that they are not in control of  their own lives, that giving is more blessed than receiving, that the very purpose of marriage is co-operation with the Creator God and nothing less than union, with one another, with Our Lord. They fight this knowledge every step of the way, even though I suspect that many of them know it somewhere inside of them and struggle with it.

Other women realize the great gift they have been given and welcome life. They yearn for it! These women have many children , as many as they are given and prayerfully, responsibly, able to care for, and they lose themselves in their families, building up a culture of life. And oh, how they suffer for it at the hands of the world!
They are hidden, when the world demands that to find happiness, you be "known."
They are contemplative, prayerful, and self-controlled, when the world demands that to have worth you be loud, reactive, and heard.
These women are busy, when the world says the value of your life is determined by your ability to be entertained and enjoy the experience of liesure.
They are living saints walking among us, for they know the key to happiness and fulfillment is to lose oneself in whatever God puts in your life to care for and give to.

So let's examine some of the messages that women with more than two children receive on a regular basis when out in public. (And this, daily.)
"Are those ALL yours?"
"I remember those days, bless your heart. You couldn't pay me to do that again."
"Do you run a daycare?"
"When do you have time for you?"
"You poor thing."
"You'll be in my prayers."
"How do you keep track of them all?"
"Aren't you tired?"
"What are you going to do once they grow up?"
"I'm glad I'm not you!"
and on and on it goes.

Then there are the whispers people think we don't hear, completely unfounded fears that people eat up and spit out at mothers of more than two children as if the mothers were inhumane:

"That's so irresponsible."
"Don't they care about the planet?"
"How can they take care of the needs of each those kids?? It's selfish."
"She's like a zombie."
"She's like a slave."
"She's a baby machine."

Even worse, in today's society, a mother who actually cares for her children enough to discipline them and train them up is looked at as archaic and "off." I can rattle off COUNTLESS  personal experiences when I have been scorned for actually saying "no," to my children or refusing to indulge them in some terribly selfish pursuit. So once again... if the woman actually makes it to the place where she accepts parenthood, she is then vilified not only for bearing children but for actually raising them instead of letting them run wild. It's amazing how crafty the devil is.

Michelle Duggar, one of the few "famous" American women to have had 18 children (so far) has been vilified constantly in the public eye. I once heard an entire group chant over and over about her:

"A Vagina is not a clown car."

How could a mother, especially a devoted mother who welcomes life as it comes, recognizing what a blessing she has been given, NOT have a difficult time coping in the world she sees outside the happy walls of her home? If we let even one whisper, one magazine headline, one disapproving glance get to us, we allow doubt to seep in because the flesh is weak.

The flesh is weak, but the Spirit is willing, and by the Spirit of God, motherhood has been deemed noble. It is our society, our culture of death, which aims to destroy the spirit of motherhood, the spirit of self-sacrifice, the spirit of giving and the spirit of joy that comes from these things, all the while using the same language to lie, lie, lie. Satan the liar. Satan the deceiver. The prince of this world.

It takes a strong spirit to overcome the lies we are fed. It takes grace, for we cannot do it alone.
 This article is the result of a study funded by a pro- abortionist group. This group wants to fund studies like this so that abortion will continue and life will cease. And meanwhile, those of us who see past the lies and deceit will continue to pray:


"Lord, you are God. I submit my LIFE to you and pray that you would use me to transmit your life to the world. Be thou king, O God, over all the world, including my reproductive system and my desires. Make me to know your will and to say YES to life, as Mary did, for through her came the savior of the World. Amen."