The Run

Been asking God to speak to me... It's been a dry season. Went for a run tonight. I say that casually but it's a big deal for me- because I hate running, because it's hard and scary for me, because it's embarrassing to be that overweight mom without the good shoes and supportive running bra that teenagers point at.

Nevertheless I went for my second run, at sunset after a 100 degree day.

As I ran, I started praying for the houses and the families I saw, praising God for the safety and family- friendliness of our neighborhood. But as each house passed by me, I began to feel a tinge of jealousy: here, a housewife and her kids were pulling weeds in a beautiful garden. There a family was giggling in their pool. A few homes down I saw a grandpa sitting in a rocker watching two babies play in the yard with a dog. It was picture perfect.

Before long I realized that for almost ten minutes I had stopped praying for others and was just repeating, over and over, "Lord, give us this life. THIS is all we've ever asked of you. Nothing extravagant. Just a simple life with lots of love- enough money to make the kids happy. Give us this life. Why won't you do this for us? Why do you do it for everyone we know, but not us? Give us this life!"

Suddenly, amidst the deafening roar of the blood rushing through me, the pound of my heart and my feet on the pavement, He spoke. As clear as day-- He spoke.

"I HAVE."

I found myself conflicted- simultaneously shamed and indignant. "Sure, I live in a nice house in this neighborhood- but my carpet is old, my kitchen is ugly and Its not even mine.. Our house, our car.... None of it is OURS."

He spoke again: "No. It is mine."

I gasped, again, conflicted. Shamefully brazen, I said to Him: "What about my children, Lord?? What about their inheritance?"

"I will be their inheritance."

I stopped running and keeled over, feeling both defeated and more at peace than I had been for months.

Suddenly, I looked up. I was standing at the top of a huge hill: before me stood a vast, glorious sky filled with incredible clouds that seemed surreal. Every color of the rainbow swirled around a gigantic red sun that seemed to light the trees below on fire. This whole scene was painted across the top of the lush pinewood forest that marked the valley-- and as I stood over it, jaw dropped at the sheer glory I was witnessing, a thought seemed to come from my Spirit: "This is heaven."

At that moment I realized there were others present. I looked around and found that there were literally dozens and dozens of people out walking too. Children happily raced each other or rode by on bikes. Couples walked behind them holding hands. An elderly woman held hands with her granddaughter and smiled. Everyone was smiling or laughing and the permeating sense of "good" that resulted took my breath away. I looked out again at the scene before me and choked up.

"I am here." He said. "My kingdom is not of this world, but it is what you seek."

He is here.


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