If the Eucharist is not true---

I witnessed the most extraordinary thing today.

First, today was the first day I brought my 1962 Baronius press (LOVE those guys) missal and it really, really did make my experience more meaningful.
I was a bit edgy about doing this because I normally use the Daily Roman Missal and I was concerned I would not be able to follow along.
To make it easier, I had gone through and highlighted the portions of the Latin Mass that have been retained in the Novus Ordo, and so I followed along just fine, but in between, and in the silences, I was able to deepen my experience by praying along with the Tridentine Rite-- those beautiful, deep, theologically rich prayers.
Likewise today was the Feast of the Conversion of St Paul--- a man who I see my own life reflected in time and time again. Reflecting on my own conversion in light of his was an absolutely amazing exercise.

Because of all these things, my experience today at mass was very rich, despite the fact that had I not brought this missal I would have spent most of the mass rather peeved that they have ONCE AGAIN changed the melody of the Agnes Dei and the Gloria to this happy clappy campy garbage that reminds me of mariachi bands. Honestly.
Undeterred and determined to meet the Lord at the altar despite these frustrations, I received communion in peace and experienced amazing consolation as the Lord made His home in my body.

Normally, after communion, Peter and I kneel even though most people stand, and we pray with our heads in our hands.... we do this, we have discussed, because it is such an intimate moment for us. YES it is a communal action, but we don't feel like we need to stand and sing with the community just to say that-- we have received the Lord, who IS our communion, and so we stop to enjoy the private, personal ways in which he speaks to us at that moment... in the silence.

We don't feel the need for the additional "community" fellowship because the PERFECT sign of community fellowship has just been given-- we have all received the SAME Lord. Forgive the tangent, haha.
ANYWAYS... Sometimes I like to look up at the big crucifix there and to stare into Jesus' eyes and talk to Him from my heart that way. Which is what I was doing, when out of the corner of my eyes I caught a strange movement that caught my attention.

A woman was receiving communion from our Parish priest, only she was behaving bizarrely. Rather than cup her hands like most people who receive in the hand she simply took the host from the priest's hand. Which was odd, to say the least--- my impression that she wasn't so much "receiving communion" as she was "taking it." Right at that moment, I felt my stomach tighten and became accutely aware of the presence of some dark evil. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up... and on the backs of my hands, in the same way they do when I am praying for someone's deliverance or aware of a spirit in my vicinity.

I concentrated intensely to see what would happen next. All I can say is that the Holy Spirit must have WANTED me specifically to see this-- because no one to my right or to my left had noticed.

This same woman who had received so bizarrely actually PRETENDED to put the host in her mouth, all the while slipping it into the folds of her fingers and carefully hiding it from sight. She was beside a man with a somewhat withered arm, and he moved into my view (purposely?) which blocked me from seeing what she did next with the host. It appeared to me that she might have been passing it to him, but since they were in the line to receive the Sacred Blood of Our Lord I tried to assume the best and ignore the sick feeling I was getting from watching this scene unfold. All of a sudden, they both turned without receiving the bloood and started to head back up the aisle. The host was no longer anywhere to be seen. I was panicked---- had she swallowed it? If not, where was this woman taking my precious Lord? I didn't know the correct protocol to stop her, and having just had a rather ... interesting altercation with the presiding priest the previous day in which I was afraid he thought I was some sort of psycho traddie, I was terrified to say something to him either... In my frustration, the Holy Spirit breathed peace over me and reminded me of what I do daily.... "You're a spiritual warrior and a carmelite," he said. "So you must pray. This is the only thing that matters." I began to pray and as I did the woman's feet hit the first row of pews from the front. A man sitting on the very end of the pew, to my amazement, grabbed her by the wrist and gave her a pointed look. She rolled her eyes and put the host, which she had hidden from sight in the crease between her fingers, in her mouth. she hurried away down the aisle out of my line of sight.

All of this happened in the space of a few seconds. As far as I could tell only myself and this man had witnessed the scene unfold. And I wept, and wept and wept, inconsolably. I felt like Mary Magdalen asking "Where have they taken my Lord?" Something in me told me that this woman did this habitually, that this was not her first time ,and I got a strong sense that she was using these hosts for some sort of ritual in her home, although, obviously that is not verifiable at this time. Meanwhile, I was just so emotional about it the whole thing, I was a total wreck.

I often feel that the Lord allows me to see evil so strongly and so vibrantly because it solidifies in me a sense of healthy fear and dependence on Him alone-- it gives me the sense that these things He is doing in me, in my life and in my ministry are REAL, and thus that my sanity has not been compromised by my faith and my faith has not been compromised by my sanity. Just this morning I had been discussing in the Myspaz R&P the "realness" of the Flesh and Blood of Our Lord in the Eucharist vs the "symbolicness" of it according to protestant theology. If the Eucharist is not what the Catholic Church teaches that it is, then what would this woman want with it? Why would she steal it? Certainly, she could have wanted it to give to someone else, but if she believed that there was a good in the eucharist that she could give to a sick person or person in need so that Our Eucharistic Lord can heal them, then she knows also that communion is available to those who ask for it and that she could have gotten it a different way than stealing it! Likewise, if she intended something evil with it-- desecration, or some sort of satanic ritual, she still BELIEVES that that Host is the body and blood of Our Lord. All that did was confirm for me that the Lord really IS in the Eucharist, because what benefit would the demonic cause be served in her taking it, either way, if that was not truly Our Lord up there?

It was all so sudden and before I knew it it was time to listen to bulletin announcements, so I have not had time to process the event yet.
Certainly, I want to know now what the protocol is for lay persons who witness such a thing. But also, I want to contemplate the spiritual reality at work in the mass, in particular when the faithful receive communion, and to ask the Lord to show me why He allowed me to witness such a devastating scene.