Relieved by the Simplicity of the Gospel

I feel as if a giant weight had lifted itself from my shoulders.
Wayne and I went to Catholic Mass together today. I was longing all week to receive Christ in the Eucharist -- to the point of tears-- which surprised him and prompted a big "Real Presence" talk. Our Lady's message at Medjugorje this month prompted me to pray for conversion of my heart. (to put you at ease, not conversion in the sense of "becoming another religion," but conversion in the sense of turning my heart over to Jesus more and more.)

This week has been so intense! First my parents were visiting, my dad for the first time, and we tried to squeeze as much out of every minute as we could. Then, we baptized the kids. We are preparing to be married in the church. We celebrated our DD's second birthday (oh my gosh! She's getting so big!!) and I (through a whole long story I'll blog about another time) had to wean Ishod. (ugh.) Our marriage took a serious turn for the better as we have begun to come together more and more since pregnancy and thrush are behind me (yay!) and it is drawing us closer in the heart. Wayne has been as much changed by the events at Medjugorje as I have in that we are drawing closer to Jesus and becoming more and more in awe of His diving Mercy towards us...and praying for the conversion of all souls. After yesterday's conversation about the real presence in the Eucharist, he surprised the heck out of me by expressing interest in becoming a Catholic. I could hardly believe my ears and immediately thanked the Lord.

Meanwhile, we have been slowly but surely explaining to people what God has been doing in our hearts and it has been very touchy. Some of my friends have just listened, incredulously, and held their tongues. Others have expressed concern. The day I wrote my baptism blog about the kids, only one dear friend wrote to express her congratulations. But I did receive six emails from people telling me that my children were in danger of damnation. My dear friend and Annika's godmother said she could understand and support us in baptizing the children but that she feared we were becoming religious and thus were "out of faith." She cautioned me against that dreaded rulebook, which was interesting, because it's only in my deepening understanding of my catholic roots that I have seen my faith take a leap like never before. Why? Because in Catholic practice, we have the choice to do things by habit, rote memorization, and what not--- or to allow God to infuse us with faith for every minuscule detail of our lives and traditions, and it blows me away.

I thought about it throughout the entire Mass today as I coached Wayne through the standings and sittings and kneelings and crossings... Amazed, I realized first off that I KNEW many of the "why"s, but secondly that I was being brought to life by them too. During the recitation of the Nicene Creed today, the woman next to me bowed when we got to the part that says "born of the virgin Mary...." in special devotion to Mary. I immediately picked up on it, grateful that God is forever teaching me new ways to deepen and understand my faith in His Son. Nothing about the Mass is stale, as I had initially been trained to believe. It is as amazing as we make it when we respond to God in it.

The Homily (that's "Sermon" to you non Catholics) was marvelous...I can't even begin to describe what it was about since it encompassed so many things revolving around Divine Mercy, but the best part was when he touched on the human desire to TAKE instead of receiving. we do it all the time. It was so profound to me-- stop taking what God wants to give you and receive it. Beautiful.

There were only two of us there with Chapel Veils, so I am once again advertising the Chapel Veil Campaign. Wear it with pride, ladies.

There is so much more I want to touch on, but I'll end with this--- receiving Jesus was the highlight of my day. I have never understood the relevance of a sacrament until very recently, and I'm now beyond convinced that opening my heart to Him through this particular sacrament has been fundamental in the deepening of my love for Him and my desire to do His will. God is so good.