The Way of the Will should be taught to Children.––It is something to know what to do with ourselves when we are beset, and the knowledge of this way of the will is so far the secret of a happy life, that it is well worth imparting to the children. Are you cross? Change your thoughts. Are you tired of trying? Change your thoughts. Are you craving for things you are not to have? Change your thoughts;
there is a power within you, your own will, which will enable you to turn your attention from thoughts that make you unhappy and wrong, to thoughts that make you happy and right. And this is the exceedingly simple way in which the will acts; this is the sole secret of the power over himself which the strong man wields––he can compel himself to think of what he chooses, and will not allow himself in thoughts that breed mischief.
Power of Will implies Power of Attention.––But you perceive that, though the will is all-powerful within certain limits, these are but narrow limits after all. Much must go before and along with a vigorous will if it is to be a power in the ruling of conduct. For instance, the man must have acquired the habit of attention, the great importance of which we have already considered. There are bird-witted people, who have no power of thinking connectedly for five minutes under any pressure, from within or from without. If they have never been trained to apply the whole of their mental faculties to a given subject, why, no energy of will, supposing they had it, which is impossible, could make them think steadily thoughts of their own choosing or of anyone else's. Here is how the parts of the intellectual fabric dovetail: power of will implies power of attention; and before the parent can begin to train the will of the child, he must have begun to form in him the habit of attention. (Charlotte Mason, Volume 1, pg 326)
This passage struck me this morning while I was searching for answers to a parenting problem I've been having.
It's interesting and very accurate: children need to have ignited in them a desire to do right because it is heroic and courageous. What it comes down to is a simple fact: motivation comes to them in the same way the Gospel comes to us: It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance, and the pursuit of truth and beauty that reveals His character to us.
My husband and I have worked tirelessly at instilling the habit of attention in our oldest and the payoff has been great both for her and for us.It worked so well that when my son came along, we were flabbergasted that he had not simply absorbed the habit in utero and we began a long line of battles with him in which we were mystified by his behavior, much of which was contrasted to that of his older sister, generally a careful attention-payer. One day, very recently, we realized our mistake: we had never focused with him on the habit of attention, without which the habit of obedience is truly only half a habit. We set about working on it and noticed a difference in his BEHAVIOR almost immediately.
The art of enlisting the will is a subject on which Charlotte Mason spends a good deal of time. It is worth reading her ideas because they keep in mind that while God is sovereign, we must be willing co-operators.
It reminds us that our children have human dignity, which in turn enables us to see them as persons rather than objects, a tendency which all people struggle with.
CM CHALLENGE: This month, I will be meditating on the above passage and looking for more ways to enlist my children's will and to instill the habit of attention in all of them.
What did this passage speak to you?
