Feasting with the dead-- who live!

Me with my grandpère, circa 1982

Today and tomorrow mark the two feasts of the year that deal with our dead... On November 1 the Saints recognized by the Roman Catholic Church as having abounded in holiness in this life through careful examination, and those who are unknown to us or known only to a few are celebrated on this day. Tomorrow we remember in our prayers all the souls who have been here below, praying especially for the mercy of God on those who may be going through purgative purification.

It's a time I always begin to reflect on the Communion of Saints. 

the Communion of Saints is the name we give to a doctrine we teach that makes most protestants shudder-- and yet it is the most glorious thing.... one of the key pieces in the puzzle of Christianity. As a protestant, I was always so frustrated when my friends died-- my choices were to believe that they had gone to hell because I hadn't seen them make visible efforts with their alleged faith in God, in which case, it was horrid, I was helpless, and God didn't care. Or to believe that they had gone to heaven and were now separate from me, GONE, away, and lost until some magical day in the far off future when we would be united in heaven. Catholicism, however, offers the simplest, and most beautiful doctrine to demonstrate both how GOOD God really is and how interconnected we are... how much relationships DO matter.

The entire Church, called the "Mystical Body of Christ," has one head: Christ. The Church here on earth is called: "The Church Militant." We are here below, waging war on sin and evil. The Church above is the Church Triumphant, having succeeded in the spiritual battle, and now interceding for us before the Throne.

The Church Suffering are the souls in purgatory (state of being, not physical place) who did not succeed in the Battle completely, who have not received the graces necessary (because they didn't ask!) to enter God's presence, but who died "doing what they thought was right." Great suffering is theirs. as the Refiner's Fire purifies them, and we pray for them anticipating their eventual glory, they helping us by their prayers and we helping them. All of us are interconnected. For those in Christ, there truly is no time and space, we are all one.

In the Holy Eucharist, In Christ in the Blessed Sacrament, I am united to all believers past, present and future, militant, suffering, and triumphant. We are all One. When I receive the eucharist I am mystically  present with all my loved ones.... family members across the globe whom I love and miss and who, also are fed by the Lamb. Friends and family members who have passed on in Christ. The Saints whose lives inspire me and mold me and help me to be the best Christian I can be. They are all there, in that little tiny host, often described as "dry tasting" by people who simply don't understand what they are seeing and tasting... the body and soul, mind and divinity of Our Lord, Jesus Christ.

If you're like me and have a lot of friends and family who have passed away, and a lot who live far away and who you simply can't be with physically, this doctrine is of so much comfort and such a source for rejoicing.

Like a great Tree of Life the branches, representing the Church Triumphant,  spread throughout the heavens, praising God and shaking things up for us here below in our necessity, uniting heaven and earth. The trunk (Church Militant), stable and sturdy, healthy, ever growing and building, depends on the connection of the roots (Church Suffering-- buried but ever active!)  with the rich earth (God) from whom all nourishment comes. The trunk is tall and straight because of the wind in it's branches, the hope in it's brightly colored leaves, each different from the next but all similar in their shape, function, and beauty and because of the depth of the roots and their constant presence. We all matter. We all have a place, and a part. We all came from somewhere, and are going somewhere. We're all connected. We all matter, and no one is simply "gone." God made the tree, nourishes us in the earth, the air, the wind, the water..... He is in the heavens, and with us in the roots and soil.

Today, Catholics will sing  Ye Watchers and Ye Holy Ones..... reminded of the Communion of Saints. Tomorrow, Catholics will hear mass in a cemetery, reminded of their duty towards the Holy Souls in Purgatory, as much a part of the mystical body as any living person.

The reflections which naturally arise from the observation of these days are dark and triumphant, difficult and beautiful, mysterious and wonderful.....amazing.

As someone involved with  the paranormal community, these two days are the most important ways to communicate to non-catholics, and especially people who have been affected by supernatural experiences with the dead ("last phone calls," "last visits," "sightings" etc) that these things have a very real purpose, that there are people who need us still and that we can not forget them, that for the dead in Christ, death is only the beginning!

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?
- 1 Corinthians 15:55

Today, I thank God for the Saints in heaven, especially my close friends Mary, Joseph, Elijah, Mary Magdalen, St Josemaria, and Blessed Mariam, the Little Arab.

Tomorrow, I remember especially in my prayers all my relatives who have died, especially my Grandpère, who died in the month of  November and who I miss very much. I remember also all of my friends who died back home, at least one a year since the year I turned twelve, of various tragedies ranging from car accidents to drug overdoses to suicides and freak illnesses. Death is no stranger to me-- but it has lost it's sting. Alleluia!

I remember also all of your friends and family, and most especially those sweet babies so many of my friends have lost in childbirth or through miscarriage. They are with us! Alleluia!

Eternal rest grant them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. Amen!

*note to non-Catholic readers: the Roman Catholic Church teaches the existence of hell. The fact that I didn't discuss hell in this blog is NOT indicative of the doctrine of universal salvation within Catholic teaching. I wanted here to focus on the things we celebrate and observe these two days... our cause for rejoicing. There is, of course, a time to weep. We'll talk about that another day. ;)

Freaky Fridays: My "Other" Life.

Are you experiencing strange phenomena in your home or place of business?

Popular television shows are making people more and more aware that paranormal activity is not only a reality but a far more common reality than one might think. At the same time, I like to think that spirits are like cockroaches- like attracts like, and when we focus on them we often realize that we are more aware of their constant presence than we would have liked! Sometimes we experience what we believe to be paranormal activity and immediately, things become gloomy and dark in our homes. We go through periods like this until we mentally "shake it off" and then things seem to improve. This cycle can sometimes go on for years.
Other times, no amount of "ignoring" will make the situation stop-- in fact, ignoring it only makes it get worse. No matter what, when we think something is going on in our home, we want to know what it is!! Natural curiosity is a strong catalyst for discovery and investigation.
There are now a slew of paranormal research associations near and far with broad ranging specializations designed to assist you with discovering if the "strange" activity in your home is indeed otherworldly... but what exactly are they looking for?

Some examples of typical and atypical, but still commonly reported, paranormal activity:

• Loud, unexplained bangs, rappings or knocks, strange sounds, music, hearing distinct voices, crying babies or names being called which appear to come out of nowhere.
• Objects moving (either visibly or while you are out) without a human explanation.
• Strange feelings of extreme fear in certain rooms for no apparent reason, feelings of being watched or "not alone."
• vibrating sensations, feeling a blast of unusually cold or hot air where there shouldn't be, having hair pulled or body touched in some way.
• unexplainable cuts, scratches or bruises that appear and disappear suddenly.
• unusual coincidences (this is a broad topic but often manifests as something that just has no worldly explanation, for example: finding a lost item after finding something that points you to where you would find it and instantly recognizing the connection.)
• Visuals. These can be shadows, lights, body parts or even full bodied persons
   which appear and then vanish. 
• Smells that can not be explained, such as a certain type of perfume that appears at certain times or the lingering smell of feces in a home that has no reason to smell.

Other signs of activity to watch for in conjunction with some of these:

• Sudden, unexplainable changes in behavior or interests in family members
• An interest in the occult, or a marked change in interest in self-destructive behaviors like alcoholism, drug use or promiscuity.
• Preoccupation with new age  or esoteric teachings and ideas.
• Extremely unhealthful physical habits (eating only one type of thing, or not eating at all, for example.)
• A definite feeling of unease/fear/ lack of peace/ even chaos within a family on a regular basis or within a building or place.
• Strange coincidences such as all members of a family dying of unnatural causes or a generational inability to come out of poverty, a recurring sickness or mental sickness.
• A sudden ability to speak a different language, external knowledge of interior things which others have not revealed, new "abilities" such as increased psychic activity, trances, or visions which may prove accurate.
• Superhuman strength that did not exist previously.
• Night terrors, recurring nightmares, sensations of physical heaviness on the body which do not allow a person to move.
• New physical manifestations: tics that appear only when a certain mood or topic of conversation occurs, for example.
• A strong attraction towards certain religious items or a complete disgust with certain religious items.
• Markedly different behavior when certain types of activities take place, in particular in conjunction with religious activities. (for example, getting violently angry after receiving communion or being confessed, responding poorly to prayer or being unable to pray oneself.)
• A strong belief in the effects of the spirit world on oneself coupled with a desire to intensify the paranormal experiences.
• Strange behavior, such as talking to oneself or making gestures that are not deciferable.

Any of these things needs to be examined further if they are a regular occurance in your home or place of business, and most people today go the way of the professional Ghost Hunter, seeking out organizations that can confirm the presence of an "unnatural" activity. Because of their media popularity, many people are now "amateur" Ghost Hunters themselves, spending weekends and free time "investigating" houses they believe might be haunted. Some people, however, aren't as enthralled by paranormal activity. And that's the people who are victims of a haunting-- they daily experience the terrifying reality that others seek out for thrills and chills. When they call paranormal investigators, it's usually because they are frightened or tired of being surprised and curious. Not all, some will call because they think ghosts are cool and they want to know if the group can find any in their homes. The experiences of victims and seekers vary widely, but all remain within certain boundaries and are somewhat understandable when explained and investigated by experienced investigators who have developped experience and a body of knowledge, a science, from what they do.

(If you are local I strongly recommend contacting:
Fayetteville Paranormal Research and Investigations for assistance, as they will provide you with a complete, professional investigation and are mindful of the compassionate nature needed to actually help and not hinder someone involved in a frightening paranormal ordeal.)

My job begins where theirs ends. As a lay Catholic demonologist and deliverance worker, my job is to pray and counsel you and your loved ones as you cope with the positive result of your investigation.
Most people will need someone to help you answer the question: "My house really IS haunted! Now what?" Ironically, not many people think much of what they will do if it is, they simply want to KNOW if they are really experiencing what they think they are experiencing. It can be mentally distressing to second guess oneself during a paranormal experience, and having someone else confirm your experience can be very helpful.

I don't personally recommend using a paranormal research group, since many of them are secular in nature and will use occult techniques to get a "response" from the house. Instead, I suggest that you begin the endeavor to understand what's going on the same way I would suggest undertaking any big project: with prayer and time spent in the Word of God. However, I am well aware that most persons will elect to use a Paranormal Research group, if only for their own peace of mind that it "isn't just them." So what do you do when you hear them confirm your suspicions?

Many paranormal research societies will leave you with the certainty that something is going on in your house that truly cannot be explained by natural means, but then simply advise you to learn to live with it. Most will assert that "something's here, but it's harmless" without a more thorough investigation-- even though they cannot tell you why they believe it will be fine.
Often the investigation itself will stir up additional activity or change the nature of the activity, which some say will go back to "normal" once the investigation is over. Indeed, most paranormal research organizations are secular in nature and thus unconcerned --or unintentionally distant from--any answers regarding how to help a ghost that might be manifesting with a particular need, or the idea that there may be a real danger present, though invisible behind the "friendly" spirit they have encountered. (I in no way intend this to be an insult to many of my personal friends and acquaintances who run and work in paranormal investigations groups and who are good people with hearts of compassion for the victims. Rather, it is a word of caution to the slew of new "investigators" appearing on the scene-- if you are an investigator today, have you been trained? By whom? Are you offering a service that helps or hinders people from living a peaceful life? Are you doing this out of concern for victims or to satiate your curiosity? If the latter, do you allow your natural curiosity to endanger yourself, your team or your client? These are tough questions, but they need to be addressed.)


Scripture and the Church, however, have consistently taught that there are spiritual elements around us who are neither benevolent nor uninterested in the human goings on around them. Experience teaches that the demonic nature is to deceive, and we have all heard at least one story where what started out as a playful haunting by an "innocent" ghost, once embraced and welcomed became a terrifying nightmare.
So how can you discern what exactly is going on in your home from a spiritual standpoint and eliminate it altogether if necessary? The goal, of course, is always your family's physical and spiritual safety.Many people find that paranormal activity they experience in one home causes them to flee... only to discover that they do not have any where to go since this activity is likely to follow them until it is dealt with. More often than not, although there are plenty of exceptions, we deal with haunted people, not haunted houses.

A "haunting" can refer to a person, place, or thing.

A PLACE is usually the site of a spiritual 'opening' of some sort--for example,  the site of an occult or overtly satanic ceremony,  or a place where a terrible and frightening ordeal  or other similar event has occured. There are houses in virtually every community which are simply "not right," in which strange things take place or in which chaos, fear and calamity seem to reign no matter who lives there or what they are doing.
A THING is usually an item which has been "charged." While everyday objects are not usually problematic, certain objects, such as coins, statues, images, dolls, or other things have been "blessed" or "cursed" or used in a ceremonial sense that opens them up to the spirit world. Sometimes the blessing can bring about the aroma of God's goodness, and other times the stench of hell. Many people keep cursed items in their homes for years without knowing anything about them, only to discover that they were the source of a spiritual problem in the house. These days, you can even purchase such items in auctions like ebay and visit them in paranormal museums!
A PERSON is the focus of the spiritual pestering. Some people are simply more aware than others when it comes to the spirit world, for various reasons (some cultivate it and try to "take" esoteric knowledge about spirits, others are simply "gifted" either from a  good and Godly source or from a demonic source.) Many people who have special powers of spiritual perception often lose them when they renounce certain sins or occult activities they are involved in. All of us come under demonic attack at one point or another. Opression is a relatively normal state that comes and goes... Satan's purpose is to destroy each individual life. However, some people are cursed or make  promises or even blood oaths with satanic entities that give them legal access to their lives. In rare cases, people become possessed by evil spirits, and in very rare cases, people can become perfectly possessed, or unwilling to be delivered.

As a spirit-filled traditional Catholic Christian, faithful to the Magisterium with more than thirteen years experience ministering in this field , my aim is simply to point you to specific resources that will help you on your journey, to pray for you and with you, and to serve as a liason, or translator, between you and your clergy member of any Christian denomination, as they are not always equipped to deal with the supernatural, surprising as that may be. Today, many priests and pastors are trained to guide you towards secular therapy, for example,  and not spiritual deliverance because they may not have had emphasized any teachings on spiritual warfare, on evil as a person and not just an idea, or on the war between the Devil and mankind. In fact, many priests and pastors you may encounter might suggest further occult or new age techniques to help you stop the problem, thereby making it worse. There are no magic formulas to assist people with hauntings. Like everything else, deliverance is achieved by grace, through faith in Christ. it takes trial and error, earnest self-seeking, and an eye for what to look for.


As a former victim of a haunting and a person who ministers by the Holy Spirit-given gift of discernment of spirits, I am very aware of the fear and the stigma that comes with reaching out to others about this kind of situation. I'm also aware of the psychological and spiritual repercussions of NOT heeding the advice of the Church. Because of my personal life experience, I am familiar with the paranormal scene emerging today as well as with occult religious experiences which have been known to "open doors," something which clergy often know next to nothing about. I have, myself, been delivered from my own demons, and my hope is that in sharing my experiences with you you will find solace and comfort in a world where very few people understand much of anything you might be going through.

The Bible says in Psalm 91:5 that you will not fear the terror of the night. Stand on this Word, which is for you today if you are experiencing a haunting and unsure of how to proceed. May the following information and the posts in my blog about paranormal activity as well as my demonology pages help guide you towards freedom from fear.

A guide to understanding Satanic activity:

- Ordinary activity: These include temptations to sin, and not one of us are exempt.

-Extraordinary activity: This takes six different forms. The first is external physical pain. Some illnesses, some calamity, and other types of elements which cause us suffering are included here, in particular "invisible blows" such as those suffered by the Cure d'Ars or Padre Pio. The second is called Diabolical Oppression and includes an attack in the health, jobs, or relationships of the person afflicted. The third is called Diabolical Obsession and involved an uncontrollable attack on the thoughts and/or dreamlife.This can and has been confused with mental illness, and a discerning eye is needed to know the difference. The fourth type is called Diabolical Infestation and involves the possession or demonic ownership of a place or thing. The fifth type is called Diabolical Possession and involves the maintenance of control over a person by an (often invited) demon. In this case, Satan can speak or act in the place of the person and without his/her consent. The ordinary signs of possession include: speaking in unknown tongues with fluency, superhuman/extraordinary strength, and the ability to know secret knowledge, such as another man's hidden sin or a future event. There is no "exact picture" of what to expect. Each case of possession is different. The last and final extraordinary activity of Satan is Diabolical subjugation or dependance. This occurs when an individual knowingly gives himself and his possessions over to the Enemy. The most common forms of this activity occur through the making of a blood oath or act of consecration to Satan.


STEPS TO DELIVERANCE

1. "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." (Matthew 4:17)

The first and most important step is a thorough examination of conscience. A solid self-awareness and increasing knowledge of self will help you to understand your own sinful tendencies and the things which keep you bogged down with demonic thoughts instead of the thoughts of God. The easiest way to form one's conscience is to begin by daily reading and mediation on the Word of God and on the teachings of the Church and writings of the Saints. As you learn what "being a Christian" means and looks like, you compare yourself and your actions to those you see and read about in the Words of Scripture and the Encyclicals and other documents (letters, etc) of the Church. Thus, you keep yourself honest about what you have and have not done that is directly out of line with God's will for your life. Repentance is the first step to deliverance, and involves a true sorrow for the sins one has committed.

2. Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. ( James 5:16)

Confession is a powerful tool that proves our repentance and deepens our appropriation of forgiveness and absolution. For Roman Catholics, confession assures our salvation by ensuring absolution at the hands of a priest, one of God's unbroken line of apostolic representatives given spiritually authority on earth.
 Confession is a crucial step after repentance to aid in the deliverance process. Confession removes our spiritual "filth" and any legal holds demonic influences may have on our person.

3.Lay ahold of God's Grace.

“Sacraments are outward signs of inward grace, instituted by Christ for our sanctification” (taken from the Catholic Encyclopedia). The Roman Catholic Church teaches that while God gives grace to man without outward symbols (or sacraments), He has also chosen to give grace to man through visible symbols. Because God has done this, man is foolish to not make use of this God-provided means of gaining sanctification. Thus, as a Catholic, you should turn to the sacraments as centers of accessible grace. This means you should receive Baptism, if you have not, and Confession, if you have not, and also receive Jesus Christ present in the Holy Eucharist. If you are married, you should also ensure you have been married sacramentally, if you are a priest, been given the graces associated with Holy Orders by ensuring your orders were recieved sacramentally, and if you are sick, receive the annointing of the sick.
If you are not a Catholic, note that the first part of the last paragraph says that God gives grace to man without the outward symbols as well. In other words, the sacraments are not the ONLY way of receiving grace. What else can you do? Pray, and ask God for Grace. The Bible says we must only ask, and we shall receive. (Matthew 7:7, John 14:3)

4. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (Matthew 21:22)

Quite simply, the process of deliverance is to ask for deliverance and to appropriate it/ receive it when it ready to come. If you follow these four steps consistently and earnestly, seeking God with all your heart, mind, body and soul He will not fail to save you. And great shall be the peace of His Children! (Isaiah 54:13)

There are no magic formulas or spells to give you deliverance from demonic forces. You must exercise your will and depend on the wide mercy of God. There are sacramentals which can help, but not if they are used superstitiously or with faith placed in them (idolatry) as opposed to God's redeeming work. Some of the sacramentals I use and recommend are exorcised salt and water, chrism, the Miraculous Medal or St Benedict's Medal, relics of the Saints, the brown scapular or a blessed rosary or crucifix. But none of these things are efficacious in and of themselves, only by the power they are given from God to confer his grace. For many people, these can be stumbling blocks or even deepen the demonic attack. The Cross of Christ, applied to a life, is the ONLY solution and remedy for a demonic attack.

If you or a loved one are involved in a case of possession, you will still need the same things to be delivered. A Roman Catholic Priest who recites the Roman Catholic Exorcism over a possessed person for one or more days will often have success, but usually only if the above four steps are attended to first. Do not despair if you are certain of the possession of yourself or a loved one and cannot find sympathetic clergy or a willing Bishop. Scripture says that the prayers of the RIGHTEOUS MAN avail much. Though you may not find an exorcist or be able to receive a much-needed exorcism, a group of faithful people whose hearts are right with God usually will have as much success in praying for an afflicted person for deliverance as a full blown exorcist.

The business of demonic activity is profoundly dangerous. Do NOT attempt an exorcism without the spiritual authority to do so. Do NOT play with, engage, or otherwise interact with demonic entities. Do NOT underestimate the ability of the Enemy to outwit, tempt, and succeed at throwing you off track. Do NOT dialogue directly with a person manifesting demonically, and do NOT make a display of your occult knowledge or your ability to "get a name" from a demon, or other such ritualistic business. Simply humble yourselves and pray.. this is the ONLY solution to a demonic problem and you will find no other that actually work.

If you feel powerless to help yourself or someone else and aren't sure what to do next or how to proceed, I HIGHLY recommend that you simply pray the Holy Rosary daily, even hour by hour if necessary, for the deliverance of the person whom you wish to help. God answers prayer, and you need not fear the terror of  the night, nor the arrow that flies by day. God has provided your own arrows, warrior. Offer up prayers to the One who can answer, and do not get caught up in fleshly temptations to create grandiose scenarios of deliverance-- for we battle not against flesh and blood but against the powers and principalities and the rulers of this world and darkness.

One additional note: Catholic Christians believe the teachings of the Bible and the Church with regards to the doctrine of Purgatory. This doctrine states that the soul is not always "immediately" sanctified if they did not take the necessary steps to respond to God's grace while on earth.
 Because of this doctrine, combined with personal experience, it is my belief that not ALL hauntings are the result of a demonic entity, but that some can stem from a situation in which a soul in purgatory is somehow made known to a human person, ALWAYS For a purpose-- the purpose of receiving prayer.
So, with that in mind, understand that the advice I give will help no matter what--- if you believe that the entity you are encountering is a soul in purgatory, then I recommend the above four steps PLUS having a mass said by a priest on the premises or other appropriate prayers said for the release of said person.

That being said, it is my personal experience (and in line with the doctrines and teachings of the Church and Bible) that more often than not, even in a situation which seems to be clearly about a "lost soul," the ACTUAL situation is one of very cleverly disguised demonic proportions. In other words, don't mess around and always assume the worst.

Please visit my demonology blog for specific advice and assistance. http://catholicwarfare.blogspot.com/

May God  go with you and the angels and Saints protect you. And may you be empowered to halt the enemy and to fend off his attacks in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Freaky Fridays: A Review of Paranormal Activity 2

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

Finally had the chance to catch Paranormal Activity 2. I can't remember if I blogged about it or not, but the first one got mixed reviews from me too.
Let's talk about the good first. Sorry to say, there aint much.
Anyone who has experienced their own "paranormal activity" knows that there are no rules but that there are definitely trends. No two hauntings are exactly alike, and yet anyone who has been through the experience will somehow instantly connect with another person who has.  Paranormal Activity and Paranormal Activity 2 demonstrate this well.
The first half of the movie was pretty standard-- happy, but sterile, family welcomes new baby into a very adult world, and things proceed to go haywire. Because of the style of PA and PA2 (think handheld cams and fixes home security cams) I admit the first half of the movie was somewhat treacherous for me.
I literally felt like I had paid someone ten bucks to watch my own life on the movie screen. Tedious segments of wailing babies in the middle of the night needing hugs, feeding babes, and babies being dressed, changed, or played with and cooed over seemed to go on and on as days turned to nights and nights turned to day with not much action. The little action there was (baby stares at "something," dog and baby stare at "something," items seem to move themselves, bla bla bla) was so commonplace at ANY baby-filled house, haunted or not,  that I found it utterly mundane viewing... At least, for me. It was quite literally the story of my life.
Hoping for more,  I went for a well-timed popcorn and potty break and returned with the mindset that it had to get better.
Fast forward to the set up-- wierd stuff is going on , we discover that the mother has had previous experience living in a haunted house, and the set methodology for coping with it is laid out. The parents choose to ignore it despite evidence taken from the household cameras, while the younger, obnoxious teenage daughter (surprise) decides to hold a seance using a makeshift ouija board with a boyfriend while she's supposed to be babysitting the child.
Naturally, things grow stranger still once the daughter has inadvertently given her express "Oui (yes) Ja (yes) permission, and suddenly people are being moved and entire kitchens messed with a-la "The Sixth Sense."
 OK, pause. At this point, I had to ask myself what I wanted to get out of the experience. A fright? Some ideas? To relive something? The truth is, I just wanted to have fun, and to take some time to think about these types of events. The first Paranormal Activity did a good job of that for me since it was soooo drawn out and had so little plotline. It's very similar to the authentic experience, where you might have one event one year, then three the next, then 230 the next, then nothing the next year. The thing I didn't like, of course, was the cheesy end to what began looking like a real possession.
OK, so call me jaded. :-P
The end of this one was very similar, with events escalating to a culminating moment of possession and then overt cheeseball graphic violence committed by the "demon" possessing the character.
Additionally, I felt that this movie would have made very little sense to the viewer who had not seen the original, which is lame. There were tons of nods to the original and plot twists that linked the two.
An actual possession is gradual, taking place as people little by little open themselves up by small acts of their will. In time, they give themselves up completely to bondage.
Evil spirits operate more on the plane of intellect than on the plane of physics... as fallen angels, their every action is one of intellect. Thus, their primary course of action is more spiritual and psychological than overtly visible or physical. That doesn't mean they can't do physical things, it just means that they do manifest in that way for a reason-- not to possess a person but rather to instill fear, to create a sense of chaos in a home that might break up a marriage or make a mother hate her child. Their purpose in cases like this is almost never ownership or possession, which is why I was annoyed with the final twists of the plotline.
The demon in the film, as we presume there is only one, (in reality, demons are like cockroaches, they multiply if allowed) is hell-bent on demonstrating his physical abilities and prowess.
These movies portray demons as invisible monsters with very similar capabilities as humans- they lift, they move, they roar, they throw fits. We just can't see them. Never mind the fact that demons are far more subtle than that.
Ultimately, this movie further promotes the idea that demons are like uber-mean, invisible super-bad guys, not actually like fallen angels, which  are subtle, and terrifying not because they can lift us up and open our kitchen cabinets but because they can get in our heads and under our skin, because they know when a well-timed pan dropping or a sudden sensation of being watched will affect us most. Not in order to convince us to kill and maim each other as they do in the film, but to convince us to lose our ETERNAL souls by causing us to hate and doubt ourselves or our relationships with God and each other.
Ah, Satan... so so smart to enable a movie that has so much potential to be accurate to portray you as comical and far less threatening than you actually are, all the while SEEMING terrifying to the untrained eye.
Maybe it's just me, but I found Paranormal Activity 2 MENTALLY dull, even though I had fun watching it. I look forward to the day when a paranormal movie addresses the grim reality of evil spirits rather than speaking the flawed, immature language of the typical armchair demonologist who gains all his knowledge by watching Ryan Buell hunt the magical, mystical "demons" on PRS with super cool ghost hunting equipment.

Choose Life- the tale of a march and rally

I've been sitting on this blog for a while because I didn't know how I wanted to convey it. I want to do justice to the organizers of the event I am about to describe and to acknowledge the important progress that was made that day for the cause of life. I want to encourage people who actively promote the cause of life. At the same time, I have to be honest about what I saw and experienced. In other words, I don't want to denigrate anyone, but I do want to express a deep frustration and sense of urgency I have about this particular cause.

Let me start by saying that there is no cause more noble than to take up the cause of the protection of the Unborn. The pro-life movement encompasses much more than abortion, of course, as it has for a goal the protection of human life from conception until natural death, as we say in the Catholic Church. But I think the most important facet of the movement is the protection of the unborn, because these days there is a flat out WAR declared against them and they have NO voice. Satan has had a field day with our society in particular since the sixties and the normalization of birth control, and through it people are literally dying. There's no doubt about it: Abortion hurts everyone.

The kids and I (well, my two daughters.... I left my son at home because I didn't feel that I was operating on enough sleep to keep THREE toddlers in line and safe at a busy, possibly dangerous event like this one) went to a Pro-Life March on Saturday. It was a statewide event designed to push the pro-life cause in the State capital before the Country-wide rally held in Washington DC every year (Which happens to be tomorrow, as a matter of fact.)
I had never been to a pro-life march and rally and had no idea what to expect.

We left early enough in the morning so that it felt like we were going on an adventure. Lumped into a big bus with a friend's family, the kids talked in hushed excited voices and we sipped coffee and water and worked on waking up. We started the day with Mass at a Parish I really love in Raleigh. I was very excited since the Bishop was saying mass-- and was not disappointed.
Their day began with a 7 am rosary, followed by what was called the "Reading of the Names." I didn't know what this was, but I knew when everyone stood up and looked solemnly over at the shrine of Our Lady where the Cantor was preparing to chant the names that it was going to be intense. And it was.... the Reading of the Names was an almost half hour straight chanting of the "given" names of babies that had been killed in abortion through Project Rachel. In essence, we were hearing the names of each child that had died that year because of abortion. Not cool.

Like the saddest funeral in the world, the cantor's melodic rhythm continued as he called out a seemingly unending list of names. It took exactly three names for me to start crying. By about twelve I was a near wreck. I watched the incense rise towards heaven and asked the souls of these beautiful babies who weren't even given a chance to pray for us all.

This event set the tone for the Mass, which was beautiful. And at one point I realized that I was standing right next to a gigantic, gorgeous statue of St Gerard Majella. I prayed for my sisters who are trying to conceive and asked him to intercede for them. It didn't seem like an accident that I was standing there holding my beautiful little "mistake," the snoodle, and periodically glancing over at my gorgeous "surprise," who was behaving herself relatively well for this mass, excited as she was to "go to Raleigh to save babies."

Shortly after a quick break at a favorite Catholic bookstore, where unbelievably my dear St Brighid made herself known to me AGAIN, we found ourselves standing in a big public square looking at a huge stage where a young girl was belting out praise songs. She raised up enthusiasm with a souled-up chorus of "God is in control" followed by "It's a new day." And in that I found that I was getting excited. More and more people were showing up and it seemed to be the perfect family event-- kids and parents in solidarity holding signs and gathering around to hear the speakers.

There was hushed excitement in the air, and everyone seemed to be polite and thoughtful. There was a tremendous sense of unity that reminded me of why I had enjoyed political manifestations as a teenager and college student. Hope floated over the crowd and touched down in each heart. The speakers began.

First, our Bishop opened us up in prayer. He chose NOT to make the sign of the cross, a concession to the protestants there, I assume, and while it irked me, I understood what his reasoning behind it might be. United in prayer, protestants, Catholics and even secular atheists/agnostics acknowledged that this cause was the most important one we could address if we were going to change the world one step at a time.
Next, we heard what seemed like an endless, droning list of reasons why our senators and congressmen who "cared deeply" about the issue of Life couldn't be with us at the rally. It felt silly to me-- like a reminder that they didn't care enough to be there. But they had each written a letter, so listen we must.

Next came the testimony of a woman who was a pro-life advocate and adoption advocate. She seemed very genuine and real, and acknowledged that while she had been asked to keep her comments secular and focused on politics, she felt compelled to share her testimony instead, which she did in a very heartfelt, careful manner. You could tell this woman's heart was set on fire by the Holy Spirit and that she just wanted to share in that with everyone. I hadn't heard anyone talk like that in quite a while, so it made me reminisce about my protestant days and that sense of URGENCY we had in sharing "Jesus as our Lord and Savior" with everyone within earshot as loudly as we possibly could.

Right after that came the flood for me, a dense rain of bizarre experiences that culminated in giving me the creepy crawlies. And this is where it got very, very strange. A woman, who was introduced as Angela something-or-other with a pHD, began to speak. And her speech was disturbing. She was a feminist, it was clear, and a hardlined one. She spoke of the injuries to women over abortion-- and gave grim, grisly and utterly disgusting descriptions of nightmare scenarios like rape, molestation, abuse, etc. We were furious that the teenaged girls in the crowd were hearing what she was saying.
She spoke about these things with such vehemence that I could imagine the shower of spittle coming down from her mouth and into the crowd. Honestly, it reminded me of riot grrrl rallies and the like that I used to attend as a sullen teen. This was not the culture of life. This was the culture of death, of fear, of destruction. This was about women trying to survive. All the sense of comraderie and "family togetherness" I had had from the rally evaporated within minutes of this woman taking the microphone, and a sudden, noticeable chill began to work its' way up my back. I couldn't put my finger on it at first, but I just knew that SOMETHING wasn't right. The sense of heaviness and darkness that had begun to weigh on me was so intense I actually walked away from the crowds and took out my rosary. As the kids played in circles around me my fingers ran circles around the beads as I tried desperately to lift the sense of impending .... ickiness... that had settled over me.
I was not surprised to find that the friend I had come with was trying to catch her breath also. Like me, she clutched at her rosary and began to pray. It became very clear to me that an entire "other" faction had taken over the rally and that the message was ever so slightly-- and ever so ominously-- different.

The rally suddenly went from being about FAITH, to being about FEAR. And darkness settled in.
I noticed other Catholics in the crowd had begun a rosary as well. I tried to shake off the creepy feeling and find unity in that, but it was too late.

Shortly thereafter the march began, and we headed down into the street. Up until that time there had been dozens of cars driving by and honking, people making comments out the windows. But as we began to march, I got the most bizarre feeling of "aloneness." The downtown buildings loomed overhead like menacing giants and I noticed that there was no "common chant" in the crowd. For the most part, people were silent or conversing with neighboring sign holders around them. At no point did someone start up a rallying cry or begin to shout or sing. I kept praying my rosary, and so did, I noticed, lots of Catholics around me. Suddenly, it dawned on me that there was an absolutely miserable lack of clergy and religious present. I think I saw maybe ten priests ,one brother, and one sister the whole march, which, quite honestly, is a terrible shame. Did Catholics have something better to do that day than promote the culture of life?

So quietly we marched, holding loud signs, up the streets of Raleigh and NO WHERE, and I mean NOWHERE did I see another person-- a passerby, an accidental encounter, a vehicle waiting for us to pass. Nowhere. The handful of people at stoplights watching were older pro lifers who couldn't march but wanted to participate. It seemed to me as though the streets of downtown Raleigh, the Capital of North Carolina, just happened to be empty that day. And yet the MINUTE that the march was over, I noticed, the streets were busy and normal again-- all of a sudden people in suits with coffee were walking around talking on cell phones. So bizarre.

But we marched...we held our signs high and we prayed. My three year old shouted to everyone she saw: "The badguys are killing babies! We're marching to save them! Save the babies!"

On the way out, we stopped to get some refreshements and to change the babies and use the bathroom. I was downstairs in the bathroom, alone, when my darling newest child decided to just EXPLODE. She pooped so much (and if you breastfeed, baby poop is basically just liquid) that she wrecked her clothes, the changing table, the floor-- even the insides of the buckles on the changing table. Of course, this was after we had been using baby wipes like they were going out of style on tables, chairs ,etc where the babies were sitting. So I had ONE baby wipe left. And the changing table was out of reach of the paper towels. And my diaper bag was in the car. And it was freezing outside.

Looking back, I think God gave me this little incident to remind me that children ARE an inconvenience. Everything about that scenario was a nightmare, and it sucked, and it was embarrassing, and messy, and a huge nuissance. But it was COMMON. As I sat there with one hand on my baby and the other elbow deep in poop, waiting for someone to happen into the bathroom, not run, and to hand me a wad of paper towels, I realized that I was experienced now enough at motherhood to understand that not only do these things happen, but they need to happen. They need to happen because we need to lose ourselves and our ridiculous sense of self-importance and instead to pour ourselves into others-- what better way to do that than to put us in charge of a being who cannot care for himself? I was also impressed with the grace which God gave me to handle that situation. Instead of allowing the situation to frustrate me, I just laughed and giggled with the baby, cooing at her and tsk tsking her for saving all that up for the ONE day I was hours from home. I think I'm getting used to being a mom, three babies later. :)

In the end, I think the march was a bittersweet event. I do NOT believe, (unlike most pro-life activists, it seems) that I will ever see abortion abolished in my time. I believe that this great evil will continue to exist, and that it will continue to be accepted. I'm not a pro-life activist because I think I'm going to change legislation or change the world. Instead, I think I do it so I can teach my kids to do it-- so I can create in my own family a CULTURE of life which is communicable to the outside world, and which will be shared with those who have ears to hear the message of Christ, that every person matters. I think that what God wanted to allow me to see was how Satan was trying to steal the pro-life movement, to distort it and change its message from a celebration of the dignity of human life to a necessary step for protection because of our fear.

Ultimately, my entire weekend was a weekend in which I was made aware of the warfare over our heads. After the tangible darkness I felt in the actual march and rally, the next day at Church was even more bizarre. My husband, priest and I saw three separate incidents in which people were acting very, very, strange around the Eucharist. Shortly after the tabernacle was closed, everyone had received, and the priest returned to his seat, I felt a jarring, hard punch in the back of my head, followed by a heavy weight against my back.I nearly fell over the front of the pew. I struggled for some time, and finally found myself face to face with this person who was having some sort of seizure and had fallen on me. Because I held the baby I couldn't help her, but she and I did this bizarre dance and struggle for nearly a minute before anyone around us noticed to help, and it was nearly four minutes before my husband or hers noticed! Very odd experience. Her children seemed completely unphased, as if this was normal behavior, and her husband was not wanting any help or assistance which made it even weirder.

I was shaken, particularly since a woman I knew had had an almost identical unexplainable seizure while sitting in the exact same spot a year before. Later that day, it seemed pretty clear to me and the woman I had gone with that some type of severe spiritual warfare was going on over our heads. Was this because we participated in a pro-life march? Because we NOTICED the visible darkness over the march and began to pray over it? What exactly caused this insanely thick darkness to descend over the weekend? I have no idea. All I know is that it lifted on Monday morning as quickly as it had descended, and in its place I found the solace of routine, family structure, and our normal lives.

But for a second- just for a fleeting instant-- my Spirit-woman was quickened and it was like I had open eyes to see the importance of the abortion issue in the spiritual realm.

All the saints of heaven, pray for the pro-life movement. Particularly tomorrow as they march on Washington DC in solidarity.

If you were at the Raleigh march, I'd love to hear you opinions of how the event went.

Super small person, super big spirit

My eldest reminds me a lot of me. Which is why I think she is so hard to parent-- because she demonstrates a lot of the traits I struggle to tame in myself and because she seems to have a grasp on God that very few kids have-- she definitely sees God in her microwave too. This kind of overwhelms me because she sometimes sees the things of God far more clearly than I do. I'm supposed to be leading her to Him but sometimes, many times, she is the one doing the leading. It also makes it hard because I empathize with her-- I remember feeling a lot of the the things she is feeling and I wish I could spare her the hard lessons!

I am sensitive. People have always thought of me as emotional and easily overwhelmed and stressed out... but internally, there is a lot more going on in me than I notice visibly in other people. If I am in an environment that is unfamiliar, I am hyper aware of the things around me: noises, feelings, smells.... It's enough to cause me to lose concentration in a dinner conversation when I hear someone else's fork and knife making tinging noises on their plate. My eye sight is bad so I compensate with noticing other things. I get a "nervous" feeling often when something is not right in a room I'm in. When I was a kid, I was easily terrified. When I was a teenager, I "felt" things in rooms and buildings that other people rarely noticed. Once I came to Jesus, I gained a strong, internal alarm that alerted me to some things or people I needed to be on guard about. I later learned that this was called "discernment" and was a gift of the holy spirit. It literally took years to learn how to control the inner input levels---how to tune stimulus out or, conversely, how to tune in. And it still sometimes gets away from me...my husband and I experience identical supernatural or paranormal phenomena in two very different ways, for example. While he has a tendency to acknowledge that "something is going on," and then move on, I remain stuck in the "feeling" of it and continue to experience sensory input for quite a while even if I don't want to because it feels like too much.

It's sometimes hard to parent when you are a believer because you don't always trust your own instincts. Or at least, you question your trust of your own instinct... if that makes sense. I believe in the spiritual, in angels and demons. But I am also a rational human being. If my child is afraid of a ghost, I'm going to treat it as I would any investigation: to look first to what is in her direct environment. Did she overhear us talking about ghosts? Did she see a picture or a movie about a ghost somewhere? Did her grandpa tell her a ghost story when I wasn't around? If I can effectively rule out all other possibilities I can at least feel comfortable entertaining the idea that we are dealing with spiritual phenomena...but not before. In which case the next big step is really just to investigate how to pray for her.

Which brings me back to her. I mentioned before that she has an uncanny knack for spiritual things-- and why should I be surprised?
Before she was born she was prophesied over-- that she would be like an olympic torch, that other people would light their flame of faith on hers. (Exciting once I learned about St Brighid's flame!)
This is the girl who, without any exposure to Mary, saw Mary over our dining room table holding the infant Jesus, and who later discovered the Catholic Girl's Guide in the sandbox which, among other combined "God moments" helped us both to cross the Tiber.

I'll give a couple of examples of what daily life with her is like. And before I do, I will say this: Everyone thinks their kid is "special." I get that. And that's not what this is, although, of course, I think she's special. :P My point is that she often does stuff that just leaves me dumbfounded-- and those around me as well.

So, for example. The other day she was worried about giants. She told me that she could hear the giants in the backyard. Her grandpa immediately jumped in and told her that egg nog was a giant deterrent (couldn't have picked water, huh, Grandpa? What am I going to do when the holidays are over? :P)
She gulped down a whole glass of eggnog and then said to me: "I still hear him in the garden. I hear a lot of noises. There is a dog out there too."
I explained to her that sometimes we had to ignore things we hear (she's very sensitive to sound, going as far as covering her ears at parades and movies and getting visibly distressed over the volume level.) Then I thought twice, not wanting her to totally grow to "tune out" everything either-- but rather to grow to learn how to tune in or tune out as needed. Sometimes our senses are telling us something we need to know-- alerting us. I didn't want her to drown that out.
So, long story short I gave her a child-sized version of tuning out and tuning in and we played the game for a few minutes. Satisfied that she felt she had a little more control over the input levels in her senses, I walked off to do some dishes. She surprised the heck out of me by coming into the kitchen and saying: "Mommy, my eye TV (this is what she calls her thoughts) says that the giant is only in my imagination, but that he isn't what I need to worry about." I was surprised, since that isn't language I normally use with her, but I just smiled and said encouragingly: "You're right. He's made up." Then she was quiet for a moment before telling me: "But if I DO have to worry about a giant, then I will call David. He's my favorite saint because he killed a giant and he will do that here." It is uncanny to me how she just picks this stuff up.

Yesterday I was thumbing through a Yoga Journal mag before laying down to nap.

(note to readers who don't know this about me- I practice sanctified yoga. Fully believing that, like Christmas trees, Christians are called to sanctify the world by taking what IS good out of evil and giving it a facelift through Christ. I have no problem calling it "yoga" although I realize that many of my Christian sisters and brothers prefer to leave yoga out of the picture and simply call what I'm describing "stretching and meditating on the Word of God." I am fully aware of the whole "stay away from yoga" thing and I think it's a perfectly valid "fear" that people have. I am confronted often with people who suffer from demonic attacks due to a mindless yoga practice.
However, to those with discernment, there is much good that can come from a regular yoga practice - and even from Yoga Journal! I just recommend that you pray for the HOLY Spirit to enlighten your mind and protect you from evil before you dive in and believe it all. I'm sure I've blogged about this before, but feel that in light of "the War on Yoga" and the fact that I blog publicly both about my yoga practice AND my deliverance ministry, it warrants a brief footnote.)

So, I was zipping through this mag and Annika came up next to me and stops me on a page and points out a picture of Ganesh. (yes, I have books wiht pictures of Ganesh in my house.... No, they don't cause demonic infestions. But maybe in YOUR house, they might. ;))

"Who's THAT, mommy?"
"It's just an elephant."
"No, why is he green? Why does he have that thing on his forehead?"
"I don't know, sweetie. Somebody painted him."
"Well I don't think he's a part of our communion," She says to me. I raise an eyebrow.
"No?"
"Nope. I don't think he's a part of our communion and I don't like him and I don't think he's allowed in here. And if he comes in, my daddy will see him no matter what he looks like and he will shoot him." (her daddy is the one who knows all there is to know about Eastern Religion.)
Hmmm. I didn't want to pry, so I just said: "That's right, sweetie." But how incredible that, at three, she GETS that the demonic god Ganesh--yeah, I said it-- is certainly NOT a part of our communion (how does she even understand the application of this word?), and that he is certainly NOT welcome here, and that her daddy will recognize him in any form he takes. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into her comment... who knows? To me, it was almost mystical.

Then there's tonight. I gave her a few of my old "Martine" books to read before sleeping and she landed on "Martine et les quatre saisons."
A few minutes after correcting her for getting out of bed, I told her: Now, I'm leaving and I do NOT want to hear your voice again until morning, do you understand me?"
"Mommy, yes, mommy!" She shouted gleefully (we've been playing drill sgt and new recruits lately :P)

"Is there anything else you want to know or talk about before I go?"
"Yes," She says to me.
"What's that?"
She opens the book to a page where Martine and a little boy are squatting near a river which is coming down from an alpy looking mountain, and where a goat is frolicking happily around the adjoining pasture. It could have been a scene taken straight out of my childhood.
"Tonton Sean can't sleep right now and he is thinking about you and him being children together right here."
Tonton Sean is my brother, Seanessey, who we haven't talked about in months. He is deployed in Iraq again and having a pretty rotten deployment this time around. She and I had never discussed this memory or much of anything about when Seanessey and I grew up.
I was totally incredulous. Where did that come from?? I could feel the tears coming on so I just went out into the living room with a stern look saying : "Go to sleep." I wondered if, indeed, Sean WAS sitting halfway across the globe trying to sleep and thinking about us being kids in the French Alps? It seemed likely. I told my husband about it and he said: "She's just a little prophetic bean. I don't know what to say."

Another time, a dear friend of ours was dealing with her husband's deployment. He is an air force pilot. Out of NOWHERE she began asking if we could pray for him together and kept it up all on her own during his entire deployment. And although we had never specifically discussed with her that they had been trying to conceive, one night she looked at me with a serious face when I asked who she wanted to pray for.
"Let's pray for Annie, momma. She wants to have a baby in her belly." I was breathless.

It isn't always such a blessing-- this also means she is particularly sensitive to negative spiritual stuff. I remember a particularly difficult stretch with her when we lived in our old house and were helping two couples through a particularly intense demonic situation, of which she was absolutely blissfully unaware. We had been sitting in the house with a priest friend and discussing the situation. My husband was talking, and I got this sick sense in the pit of my stomach that he needed to STOP talking-- but there was no stopping him. The priest and I exchanged a brief glance and I wondered if my husband was making him MORE nervous than he already was. Just then, we heard a loud, distinct scrape and a bang. My husband didn't even notice, but the priest and I both jumped. I begged my husband to go in the kids room and see what it was, and he looked at me like I was the biggest nerd ever.
"Seriously?" He joked. "You heard a nooise?? WooooOOOOOoooooOOOOO."
I snapped at him:"I'm not playing. It was crazy loud. Get IN there and see if they are OK."
Father looked over at him with the most serious face I've ever seen him make and said: "it sounded like the dresser lifted off the floor and came crashing down." I agreed. He went in there and couldn't find a thing.
Later that night, we were awakened by my daughter, who was screaming with all her little might that bugs were crawling all over her.
Now, keep in mind, we live in the south and its entirely possible that a cockroach could have been on her. But we examined her and found nothing. The entire night, she stayed awake, even though she was safely snuggled between us, and every time she drifted into sleep she would screech that bugs were on her or pulling her legs. this went on for weeks thereafter, no matter what we did, and one day abruptly ended with no warning. She "slept" with us the whole time.

Another time during this wierd "bug" phase, she was lying in bed. She has a habit of getting VERY focused on something visually in order to drift off to sleep. This is important because it calms all her other senses and helps her to zone out. At the time, we had a night light that was a representation of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. So there she was, staring intently at it by her face, just drifting off, when a GIANT bug began to creep out from behind the nightlight. Then another. Then another. I'm not two, but as a full fledged adult if this would have happened to me I would have totally spazzed out. And this kind of thing just HAD to happen right while she was being "attacked" by bugs every night? Hmmm. During this same time period I happened to see a cockroach infestation all over a baptismal font and altar in a haunted parish. Two reknowned demonologists confirmed for me my suspicion that there was some possibility of demonic interference there with the bugs-- after all, demons can enter Swine, right? I feel certain that this incident coincided with my daughter's experience right on time for me to "grasp" this reality. I don't see these occurences as "accidents," although I'm certain many of my readers will.

Another time I was having a problem with a nasty feeling of dread I was getting from a particular corner of my living room in the middle of the night while up nursing. I finally went to bed and began the nightly dance I do: Nurse the baby. Put baby to bed. Tuck a cold toddler back into bed. Pee. Lie down. Get up ten minutes later to soothe a fussy baby. Lie down. Get up to help another toddler pee. Lie down. Get up to soothe said toddler back to sleep. Etc. Anyways, most of the night while I was doing all this I felt very uneasy, and this is unusual for my house. I simply felt, for lack of a better term, "watched" by a presence. It followed me from room to room and I just couldn't shake it, despite a middle of the night rosary. My daughter ended up sleeping in our room frpm 4ish on with her dad, while I kept the baby and the other toddler content and moved from room to room. At six or so I fell into my bed with my daughter and husband and began to close my eyes. My husband nudged me and said with a funny voice: "Annika, tell mommy what you've been telling daddy."
I looked at her.
"There's something following you." She said. I got chills. He told me that she had come to bed with him and insisted that she saw something walking with mommy. All I could do was cross myself. He later said that she was seeing the shadow of the flag outside our window. Who knows?

There have been many negative situations like this, but I like to focus on the positive. Yesterday morning as I was making breakfast and asking her what she wanted, (and consequentially, internally bemoaning the fact that I couldn't go to daily mass because we were both cranky from lack of sleep) she paused in my kitchen and said: "Mommy, we give God bread and He turns it into Jesus and makes it bread from heaven and then he tells us to eat it."
"Yes! You're right, he does. It's called "The Eucharist."" I said.
"We need to eat some soon. I think we will feel better."

I could go on forever with these little stories, but I think you get the idea...The point I'm making is that parenting a child, when one has this extrasensory spiritual perception, is truly challenging. I always want to be logical and balanced, and I NEVER want to project anything onto her. sure, she seems to understand communion perfectly, but when I ask her if she's excited about making her first communion she tells me she thinks she will put on a dress and marry Ishod (her brother) :P

My husband and I have not yet broached the subject of spiritual warfare with her in any way other than to tell her that if she's scared or nervous Jesus is with her and all she has to do is talk to Him about it and use His name. I find it astonishing that she can, at her young age, "get" spiritual truths in such a profound, life-changing way, as well as download sensory information that is often just surprisingly accurate, alongside having these deeply freaky paranormal experiences. I have no idea how to parent her, I just keep plowing along and hoping for the best, trying to let her know at every turn that she is loved beyond all measure. I imagine her powerful reactions (alternating between blissful obedience and contentment and absolutely mind-boggling fits which defy the imagination) have a lot to do with the powerful pull over her soul. I pray she wins the battle every day.

Taking life seriously.

Facebook can be a blessing and a curse. While I absolutely LOVE having the ability to keep in touch with faraway friends as if I was close, alongside being able to get information to loved ones about what's going on with us, I get really annoyed when I find out things I didn't want to know about other people... or when I hear things that make me sad about the direction someone's life is going. Worse yet, when I offend someone with it.
Using it, like any other "conversation," is a situation that can be either edifying or wasteful, even sinful. It's up to us how we use it. I'm certainly guilty of using my status updates and tweets to complain, when I could be encouraging someone. Or to talk about parenting, instead of actually parenting. It's all in how we use it.

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends, a person who I have worked with and labored in prayer over on an unusual haunting, had a status update that left me basically confused. If it was about what I thought it was about, it was really disturbing, but she was unclear so it became a source of confusion. I prayed about it and hoped that it wasn't what I thought and that she would elaborate to clarify so I would feel better about it.
Today, I came home from Church really fired up about the Eucharist, and really thankful for prayer. In the homily (By a priest who has a tendency to reuse homilies and not necessarily pour himself into them) I was surprised and thankful to find a wonderful, clear reminder of the vitality of prayer-- that prayer alone enables us to SEE Christ and find Him in our daily situations, in the people around us. For that reason, prayer is essential to the spirit and something which cannot be ignored. If you want to know God, if you want to feel His presence, if you want to experience His love, pray. We all need this.
I thought about what prayer has done in my life, and the lessons I have learned that taught me how and why I should pray. In particular, through ministering to persons in need of deliverance I have learned that often earnest, sincere prayer is the only thing you can "do."
So I was very upset when I came home from Church fired up about prayer to discover that someone who had asked me for prayer and over whom I have labored--and I mean labored-- in prayer was basically not taking any of it seriously.
This is a person for whom I have sacrificed what costs me most as a mother: my sleep, my time, and my attention. These things are so hard to come by for me, and yet I felt it was worth it to stretch myself thinner for this person because I couldn't be like everyone else in her life, just sit by and shrug and say: "Not my problem."

Even today, long after this person had left us in the dust of their crisis, I continue to pray for them daily, offering up little sacrifices here and there and hoping for a peaceful, righteous resolution to a situation that has really been tough for all people involved.

That seems to always be why my husband and I put ourselves out there for people who are experiencing a demonic problem, whether we feel it is legitimate or not. First, because if someone asks for our help, we are going to do what we can for them. We care about people, and want them to be happy and well for eternity.
And second, if we don't, we don't know who WILL-- often times these people are involved in things which absolutely terrify them, which they want to figure out but which other people won't touch with a ten-foot pole, and very often their natural curiosity and/or desperation will get them into further trouble-- often leading them where there was no real demonic activity to a place where there is a serious threat that needs to be addressed for the sake of their souls.

I am overwhelmed by a pull I feel towards people who are scared and experiencing a haunting. I have been there. I know the fright, the exhaustion, the fear and amazement, the furious hunt for answers. If I can help someone like that, I will always do it.
The question, then, is how? In the past, it has meant many different things, and I expect it will continue to be like that, as each situation is as unique as each individual. Sometimes, all I need to do is sit in my house and pray. Other times, people want to be reassured when they are frightened, which can mean going to their house to comfort them or simply being available by phone or email, sometimes all night long. Often, priests and pastors want someone to come with them because they are nervous or uncomfortable in a situation. In the past year, it has been made clear to me by my wifely, motherly, and Carmelite vocation that my main apostolate is prayer-- and because it is only through prayer that these things can be addressed, I am grateful that that is sometimes all that I can "do."

For this person, however, I felt that I had really gone above and beyond what I was not only inclined but really "able" to do, driving myself- and my husband- to the point of exhaustion. I also happen to know that this particular case has frustrated at least four diocesan priests and our Bishop, alongside several Catholic families who have tried to help. Because of this, when I read this particular status and then later had it confirmed, I was both fuming mad and hurt.

Mad because the battle between good and evil is not a joke. Those of us who have been knowingly touched by evil will never look at the world quite the same way again.For someone to have experienced something like that and then to be able to just brush it off and take their religion lightly-- well, that makes me angry. SOULS are at stake here. For ever. This is not a game.

And hurt because I saw all the hours of prayer and sacrifices I had made on behalf of this person just evaporate with no fruit--- I couldn't believe that after all that not sleeping when I was in DESPERATE need of sleep, all those lengthy, repetetive phone conversations I had when I could have been cleaning, or resting or enjoying my family, all those times that I made myself stay up to pray rosary after rosary... all that, it seems, for nothing. It feels like total rejection of the worst kind-- and cast a shadow of doubt for me over my vocation. Why was I bothering with these people if they were not only ungrateful but UNCHANGED- If not worse off?

So there I sat, checking and re-checking this status to try and understand all the while weeping some pretty bitter tears of sadness and confusion. My husband happened to walk by and shook his head. "Are you still crying about that?" he asked. I nodded. He cracked a smile and said to me:
"Look, I hate to be campy, Barbie, but what does this remind you of?" He had picked my rosary up off of desk next to me and was dangling the crucifix in front of my nose. I shrugged and sniffled.

"It sounds just like what Jesus did." And he dropped it on the desk and walked away.

I sat there feeling utterly foolish. He was right!

Our Lord is amazing... he endures this for each of us -- including me--- on a daily basis. I could just see Him in heaven, saying.... "I sweat BLOOD for you! I was NAILED to a cross. It was excruciating. Even today I am interceding for you before my Father. Why won't you take me seriously??"
Those of us who pray daily: "Lord, make me more like You and less like me" should rejoice in a situation like this.... and continue to pray and make sacrifices for people like this person, who, so far, has greatly disappointed us. We are called to be Christ to people. But only The Christ knows where this person's heart will be tomorrow, next year, ten years from now. May it be close to his own.

the paranormal preacher

http://paranormalpreacher.blogspot.com/2009/10/8-principles-of-biblical-demonology.html

Recently made a connection on facebook with a guy from PARAA, a Connecticut-based paranormal research group. I was super excited to read his site and spend some time with his blog, because it was the first time in years that I came across a site that disseminates accurate information about dealing with demonic haunts. So, I guess I just wanted to give the "paranormal preacher" a shoutout. It's nice, SO NICE, to encounter like-minded people.