A lesson in patience

Yesterday, twice, I was struck by the wisdom of Charlotte's ways in moments when I was doubting our choices. (Yes, it happens!)

The first time came in the morning, when our copy of Robin Hood arrived. I was kind of shocked that it was on the AO schedule for year two because it was just such a rich, intense, literary experience--- I remembered reading it as a much older child and finding it rather difficult. I read the first couple pages as soon as the mailman dumped it on my doorstep and thought:
 No way! This is crazy.
But I bravely opened it  started to read a few lines aloud.The whole family, even the three year old, was jumping up and down, excited. "Read more!"
I sighed... we can do this. Charlotte's right.
A little while later, I looked up the second grade core standards  reading list for our local public schools. I suppose I shouldn't have been shocked... but I was.
I pulled a random book off the list, called The Fire Cat, that someone had given us and I had seen lying around the house. Here is a quote about the main character, Pickles, pulled from the book:

"Pickles was a young cat. His paws were big. And he wished to do big things with them. But where could he find anything big to do?"

In contrast, here is a quote from Robin Hood:

"As thus he walked down a shady lane he saw a tinker coming, trolling a merry song as he drew nigh. On his back hung his bag and his hammer, and in his hand he carried a right stout crabstaff full six feet long, and thus sang he:
'In peascod time when hound to hornGives ear til buck be killed,And little lads with pipes of cornSit keeping beasts afield'--

My kids loved it. There was nothing to question. It was right. Charlotte was right.
It made me realize the importance of not just reading good literature to my own children, but of sharing it with the people in my community with all the evangelical zeal I experience in sharing the Gospel. Good literature leads to truth and beauty. Truth and beauty leads to God. Suddenly Charlotte's vision for the poor and marginalized came alive in my heart and mind. Here was something I could do! I didn't have money to buy people cars or to send their kids to schools, but I could read good literature to them and that was a gift that never stopped giving.

Later that night, it happened to be Purim and we were prepping for our celebratory feast. My husband and I were having my brother and his wife and their children over and were debating what was the most appropriate way to convey the relevance of the story of Esther to them. (Their children are very young.)

I had suggested just reading the Megillah straight from our RSV Bible, but my sister in law had mentioned that it was long, and that perhaps a children's version might be more appropriate. So I pulled out our only Children's Bible, which we selected specifically because it retains a highly literary and very exact quality. Though it is a paraphrase, it pulls directly from the KJV and often uses exact "grownup" biblical language. It is a beautiful book, inside and out, with sparse but gorgeous drawings and clear type, high quality paraphrasing which retains all the same ideas as the actual KJV.
My children are read to from this Bible every day, and they love it. Even the youngest. They understand it, because they narrate it without prompting and because it is a source for their imaginative games.

So we set about reading it-- each adult taking a page or so.

During the reading, I started to second guess my choice--- people appeared to tune in and out (which is perfectly natural in a room with small children, but still disconcerting) and several times I was concerned that the reading was just too difficult.
But the children were listening-- they "boooooeeed" at the bad and "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayed" at the good and they sat-- for the most part-- and listened attentively. Later when I asked them what they thought the story meant, they gave insightful answers, even my niece who had not had much exposure to this type of language.

At the close of the reading, my brother and sister in law commented that it wasn't really a children's Bible-- more of an adolescent Bible. In agreement, I nodded, slightly concerned that they had not enjoyed the experience of hearing the Megillah that night. But at the same time, I was confirmed in my journey with Charlotte---- that if we put wonderful literature before Children they will absorb it and grow in wonder, despite our concerns and expectations. That we can, in fact, expect our children-- all children--- to develop a taste for good literature. It strengthened my resolve.

At the same time, it made me realize that CMing my kids was going to be an isolating experience. It started when I began shopping for curriculum ideas and realized I couldn't "join in the conversation" with other homeschooling moms I met. It continued when I began to get questions on my facebook page from friends and family, questions about my choices of books to read to my kids. When was I going to let them be kids?
It continued as people wondered why my six year old wasn't a strong reader (yet). She now surpasses most other children her age in both ability and comprehension by a landslide, but at the time, it planted fear in me that I could not teach my children at home or that what I was doing was crazy.
The feeling of loneliness persisted every time we talk with other families-- even other homeschooling families!-- about their favorite books, movies and pastimes (mostly video games.)
It rears it's head when birthdays come around and we know a big pile of books will have to be sorted through. People roll their eyes at our pickiness, and rightly so! But we can do nothing else. Our children must have the best. It is isolating.
It became tangible when people started mocking or chiding my children for using language that was dated or unusual. It grew painful when I realized my children, whose greatest joy it is to enjoy their family, to enjoy  nature and good books and good ideas, found very few playmates who shared these same ideas.
It can be so isolating-- but it is so rewarding!

Trusting Charlotte has made our family life delightful. Who else can say that? The answer to the questions I am asked about our choices in curriculum or pastimes are always the same: It was lovely. We just found it delightful. It was true, and good, and beautiful.

So I wait, patiently watching as this journey unfolds.... one step at a time, trusting Charlotte. It reminds me of my spiritual journey-- I never know what's coming next, but I follow God and believe in His promise,  watching and waiting attentively for signs of glory-- for traces of heaven. Even when it's awkward. Even when it's isolating. Even when it's hard.

They are everywhere.