And although I very rarely cast final judgement, ("this is a conspiracy!") I do spend an inordinate amount of time using my journalistic research skills leftover from college to investigate things which, to my mind, seem connected. This penchant I have to distrust what seems "obvious" and "simple explanations" can be mentally unnerving to everyone around me, and most of all to myself.
No, I don't have trust issues. I wasn't abandoned as a child, nor was my husband an adulterer. Most of the time, I regard everything with a cynical, sort of "what now?"ish detachment.... neither enthusiastic nor disgusted, simply trying to do as Mary did: "taking all these things and meditate on them in my heart." But my inner disposition is to get over-engaged, emotionally, and run with it. I fight that desire, and win some, lose some. When I am too transparent in it, it can bother people. At the end of the day, I can only report what I have seen and heard... some of which is, quite honestly, shocking. I sometimes wish I was innocent and and naive and able to sleep peacefully at night. I sometimes wonder if it's wise to share what I've found and seen with others. But always, I think... if the people don't KNOW, they cannot act. And if they cannot act, they are just going like lambs to the slaughter. This is what I see when I see America these days.
I note also that our family is close to persons who are in various positions of authority within our government. Good people who mean well and do good things, and who in no way would feel comfortable working for a corrupt institution. Rather, they believe in what they do! And I cannot explain that, so it gives me hope.
I have however, in my personal experience, been burned by my government, I fear the increasingly controlling and overpowering news, and increasingly, I see, others do so as well.
I live and work in a military town, and most of my friends work for the government in some capacity. In my time in the army, I saw with my own eyes a deep corruption in many places that couldn't possibly have gone unchecked "by accident." My husband and I lost our jobs and our livelihood and our reputations at the hands of the US Army and precisely because of this corruption in many ways. It's hard for me to say things like that, knowing full well that many of my loved ones, employed by the Army themselves, will read this and may become indignant. Most will say to themselves that we just couldn't cut it as soldiers and we fabricated this corruption in our minds in order to justify what we did. (What did we do? We got married during Basic Combat Training. For this- a marriage which produced three wonderful children and an incredible amount of love built by "overcoming" the tough stuff-- we have been paying our whole lives, literally and figuratively.)
Upon leaving the Army, we experienced periods of relief from the visible corruption of our government while my husband was a Freemason. During that time, possibilities seemed to open up for us and we had hope for our future once more.
Once he left the Masons, we again began to see and experience corruption at the hands of the government... be it through social services or through our local police department. As a low income family, who are frequently looking for work, we have much contact with our government. This contact has been truly mind boggling.
Forgive us, friends who work for and love our government, we are not calling your integrity into question!
I am simply voicing the fact that between myself and my government, there have only been problems and distrust, much to my chagrin. I find that in this life and with this government, we are often punished for telling the truth, for doing the morally correct thing, and again, that is only my experience.
I can only say that you who are thinking that the problem is my own may well be right. It would only be natural! And if that is the case, I pray that God would open my eyes to my rebellion and my sin, before it's too late, because it is exhausting being so un-nerved by all the happenings around us and feeling so isolated and alone in our world view. As it is, I completely recognize the part I had to play in our demise and certainly lament my poor decision-making, all the while wondering... what WOULD have been the right thing to do?
However, in my mind, I cannot explain some of the horrific abuses I saw and experienced in my time in the Army. Even more strange... I cannot explain why I can't shake my great emotional love of the Army and my desire to be a part of it, despite all that I saw and experienced.
I hear often that soldiers' families have it tough. Our family would LOVE that life. We have lived it-- to some degree. Dangerous deployments and all-- without all the benefits soldiers enjoy, for we have no financial benefit for our own sacrifices, no glory, no honor, no guidance, no boot up our butts to make sure we dot all our i's and cross all our t's. No medical help. No counseling and assistance. Some part of us is so sad we have not been given such a life. Lord knows we have prayed for it. And yet.... I am amazed that I seem to see something in our society because of my detachment from it that many others might not catch. Maybe it is for a reason. Again, this is not intended as a slap in the face to my numerous friends and family members who endure the day to day drudgery of military life. I know it's hard. Rather, it is a simple explanation of my personal experiences looking from the outside in and the brief glimpses I had looking from the inside out.
Also, as I've said before, it seems strange to me that while Americans have no jobs anymore, there are an increasing amount of openings and slots for people within the realm of government in virtually every city I check. I know this because I spend all my days looking for jobs for my husband.... there are very few jobs to be found that are not affiliated with the government, jobs which we are not eligible for because of our past.
It also seems suspect to me that we now need (and didn't ten years ago) all of these government approved certifications and classes and cards which A) cost lots of time and money and B) require a ridiculous amount of personal information to obtain to do jobs that any schmuck off the street could do, like connect a pipe or cut some wire.
At the same time, we hear constantly about the eventual demise of our financial situation in this country... and the threat of no government jobs is a reality in many places as well. It seems that chaos reigns.
It is my personal "feeling" that as time progresses our entire world is moving towards globalism at the speed of lightening, and also towards heavy handed governance.... a governance that is definitely not by the people for the people. Instead, everywhere I look I see rights and freedoms being taken away under the guise and pretense of creating new rights. It's all a very manipulative, very frightening thing to watch from a distance, especially because in my ministry I am often face to face with aspects of the spiritual "plan" for the world that echo this apparent trend.
Usually, I mark new "levels" and "achievements" of what I can only describe as The Dark Side or The Impending Doom through watching responses to news on Facebook and Twitter. Because in our house we don't have TV and don't watch the news, we are not assaulted all day long with images and ideas that are being planted into the brains of the average American household. This gives us a strange feeling of detachment-- when something big happens, we hear about it second or thirdhand and experience it only through the emotions of those of you out there who are experiencing it through the television media and internet.
Such was the case with the Tucson shootings. The day of the shootings, my FaceBook news feed was assaulted with loud, mournful posts about terror and sadness. EVERYONE felt personally affected, which I admit, not having seen any of the footage, I thought... well.... that everyone was being a bit dramatic. The level of "affected-ness" people seemed to be experiencing, although they didn't know these victims and didn't even live in the same state, for the most part, was just a little strange. And then there was the drama. Was it the left's fault? The right's? The media and the internet furiously hypothesized away taking jabs at each other as onlookers cheered and "shared" until suddenly it seemeed that the center of our universe (as even the Europeans and Asians were blogging rabidly about it) was Tucson, Arizona and that what had happened was simply.... earth shattering.
It wasn't. It was a shooting. We have them all the time.
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| Not exactly the face of sanity. What's behind those eyes? |
A young man, obviously troubled and having shown warning signs for years, attacks. We dont' know how, we don't know why, we don't understand. Based on physical evidence, this young man is a practitioner of occult religious rituals. Further, he has been "disturbed" for some time, causing fear of aggression and violence in all who come into contact with him. During his trial, and in other collected evidence, we learn that he occasionally hears voices and constantly refers to being the subject of government "Mind Control." Having myself witnesses an alarming number of people who, on their knees and faces, begged army recruiters in the Santa Barbara Recruiting Center's offices to remove chips from their brains or bodies and stop the mind control they were victims of, I would say this is not a "new" complaint. In fact, when you hear the words "mind control," you are probably rolling your eyes. But what does that mean? Why do we automatically assume a person claiming their mind is being controlled is a complete nut? I've seen with my own eyes that a person's body can be controlled by something other than himself. Why not a person's mind? Or is a cry for help a sign that the mind is not actually being controlled, if it is true, that only the person's mouth and body are under attack? I suspect the latter.
Watch Britney Spears here in this interview. This video makes my heart break... but it demonstrates that something is indeed profoundly "WRONG" with her. Is it psychological? Is it drug induced or abuse induced? Is it demonic? This stuff is all too common amongst our celebrities and politicians. if you look carefully you will see it all around. What is going on? (play close attention to 5:05)
Going back to the Tucson case....This young man's lawyers (advocates? handlers?) are a team all too familiar with this type of incident. PoliticsDaily had this to say about the 22 year old's defense attorney: "Judy Clarke is the Forrest Gump of criminal defense attorneys. Otherwise unassuming, even shy, she seems to turn up, front and center, for many of the cases we'll never forget." (oh really? Coincidence again?)
"She counseled Ted Kaczynski 13 years ago this month when theUnabomber was toying with the government in advance of his guilty plea. She helped an unrepentant Eric Robert Rudolph, the Olympic Park bomber, avoid a death sentence. She was present and accountable during the chaotic trial of Susan Smith, the South Carolina mother who drowned her two small children in a car in a lake. She even represented Zacarias Moussaoui, the mercurial al-Qaeda conspirator. All of those defendants faced capital charges. None are currently on death row. And now, Clarke is Jared Lee Loughner's attorney in a dramatic case that surely will be in the headlines for years to come."
Interesting. Lots of high profile cases, including the high probability that the alternative media reports which say she was also working on the Timothy McVeigh/OK City Bombing case are true. (funnily enough ,the mainstream media seem to have recanted that and are trying to "put a stop to the rumor."Rumor? Maybe. Maybe not.)
Interesting also that many of those people reported hearing voices/ concerns about mind control. But that's probably unrelated, right?
Then, I was surprised to discover, the beloved congresswoman, whose shooting we were all lamenting, was actually ALIVE. I don't know why I assumed she was dead in the beginning as I was reading everyone's statuses. All I know is that almost everyone did too... and nearly everyone experienced an emotional "rise" when it was said that she was still alive, although in serious condition.
We come to last night, when President Obama made a speech to the nation about the events. Now, I have to ask... and maybe I'm alone in this, but WHY did our president need to address a "mourning nation" about this? We had a shooting recently on a military installation, done by a MUSLIM SOLDIER (kind of sensitive topic, I know) and I don't recall any mushy, gooey "let's all pull together" speeches from our president. Maybe I'm wrong, because as I said, I don't have TV. However, there I sat all last night watching the statuses about the speech roll by. To my absolute astonishment, I discovered that all of my friends who are counting down the days before he leaves office were singing his praises for the speech he was delivering. I was so shocked I had to read the speech for myself. Which I did, only to discover that I absolutely loved it.
Hold the phone.. I loved a speech Obama made? What was going on? I examined the speech carefully and saw that he had said all the right things and even quoted scripture in several places. I also saw that his speech was completely out of character. It was so peaceful and soothing and so delightfully moderate....and it was having all the effects he, I'm sure, had hoped it would on the American public. Even his most vehement opposers could only sing his praise when he was done talking. It was a total and utter success. Which is what really bothered me, because I had not forgotten that while he was saying these things with his mouth, he had said much and done much to contradict his own speech his entire life and career. While a very clever speech writer had clearly written a glorious litany of good sense and "American values" that resonated with ALL the people....Obama was getting all the credit, and it was certainly his time to shine.
So much so, in fact, that just moments ago I saw a red and yellow flashing sign splashed across the CNN homepage which declared that "shortly after a visit from President Obama (imagine that!) the victim congresswoman began to move about, demonstrating "miraculous" and unexpected improvement. How very conventient... or is THAT just a coincidence also? Perfect speeches that inspire ALL of the American People? Miracles? Whatever next, Mr. Obama? I've never been the sort of person to claim that Obama was the AntiChrist, as many of those reading this who are nodding their heads in approval might have done, but this moment gave me pause. Without a doubt, the media has been plastering this idea all over the collective American brain: MIRACLE. This is not a word they use. This is not their language. And yet, here it is, a miracle which came directly after an encouraging visit from our president.
It bothered me also that his speech was literally bombarded with applause. This was intended to be a memorial, and yet it looked like a political rally. The people were given TShirts with the logo: "Together we thrive: Tucson & America" as they came in to hear the speech. Blue and white, tee shirts, I noticed... not a trace of red. Subtle. This event was branded. It was given a logo. It was drilled into people's heads as they watched that "This.Means.SOMETHING." Again, America, I ask you..... what?
I can only say that watching you watch these events has been truly astonishing. I am more convinced than ever that the American people, and indeed, the world, are being primed (either via all-too-human evil schemes or via demonic and mysteriously spiritual methods-- after all, I have firsthand seen and experienced the enormity of the underground Satanic network which daily plots against the Church, a visible reminder of the legions of fallen angels assigned to the task) to accept and approve of great evils such as those which President Obama has, in his entire career, promoted and passed on as "gifts" to the American people and thereby the world.
Are we in the Last Days? The Catholic Position is that the Last Days began when Christ ascended into heaven, and will end at His Return at the blast of the Shofars when all mankind will see Him visibly. Is Obama the antiChrist? I personally don't think so, but today I was just a little uncomfortable to see the EASE with which the media and our government managed to manipulate even the most scrupulous and discerning of American people into suddenly "believing in" the cause of America as dictated by President Obama. Surely the people of this world are being primed to accept certain inevitabilities , eventualities which chill me to my core. And end to borders and nations coming together, a reigning "peace" but at what cost? For a moment last night there was peace in America-- - peace about America, peace about Obama, peace about who we are and what we are doing. And meanwhile the blood of the millions of aborted children which die in our country cries out to us from the ground and to our God for vengeance. Blood which is on the hands of this American president, who last night charmed the whole world.
In a world where political persons glow green while addressing the United Nations and where the pope has warned over and over against Moral Relativism as a plague of our time.... may we all find PEACE in Christ Jesus and be delivered from every evil spirit. Amen.
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