On homemaking.

I've gotten a couple of requests lately for a blog talking about my home life, so I guess it's time!

First, let me just say that things are about the same, on the homefront, as they always are. I'm really hoping that the summer doesn't go by too quickly, first because I'm trying to take advantage of Southern Summers without letting myself get too overwhelmed by them-- last year it was so dang hot I just stayed indoors with the AC and ventured out only when I had too, which was weird, because I didn't really FEEL the summer.
So, this year, things are a bit different. I'm sitting outside more, and going for walks, even though being pregnant (again) in this heat is deadly. It's healthier, I think, but it definitely takes a toll on me physically. This pregnancy has been harder than the other two by far, and it's not even really halfway over.

As far as the homefront goes, we are perpetually itinerant. We rent a home which has an expired lease, so technically at any moment we could be given the boot. With that in mind, we've been keeping our eyes open on new places all the while maintaining a low profile and staying on top of enjoying the time we have in this home. This is the longest we, as a married couple, have been in one place, so its kinda grown on me. As much as I'm ready for a new (and bigger, please God! This place is sooo tiny!) house, I'm also thankful for the nice neighborhood and all of that.

Doing that has caused me to get into a place where I try to just take things as they come. The nature of Peter's work situation and our goals etc mean that I am basically forced to give up on any sense of control I have over my future. Things just happen, and I just do what I can to make sure they happen in a way that I can handle, or at least deal with.

Recently, Peter and I got into an argument over the state of the refrigerator. You see, when we go to the grocery store, I always push the old, nasty stuff to the back and put the new, yummy stuff I just bought in the front. This means that often I find things have gone bad because I forgot about them, etc, and that I periodically have to have these like, two hour cleansing sessions with my fridge where I'm pulling out half eaten yogurt containers and old hummus boxes.
Soooooo, Peter got really mad at me one day and said that I always do things in the least logical way--- I keep things far from where they are needed, etc etc. He explained to me that it made WAY more sense to keep the OLD food in the front and the new food in the back. And he was right. What's funny is, it totally changed the way I looked at how I keep my house.

All of a sudden, I realized that nothing in my house was really functional. It was orderly because I slaved away at BEING orderly, but it wasn't useful. I set to work re-arranging everything so that it fit with our lifestyle, and more importantly, so that it met my priorities.

The way it had happened was that I was trying very hard to live other people's lives.
For years, now, it had been like this.... I was trying to squeeze myself into the mold of the "perfect Christian housewife" and unfortunately, there is no such thing. Instead, I was trying as hard as I could to BE Debi Pearl or Stormie O'Martian or Mr.s Fletcher, and not stopping to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit with regards to what He wanted for MY life, and for MY specific family, which wasn't to be or look like the Pearls or the O'Martians or the Fletchers. My family has a distinct flavor and "thing" that makes us US, and that was what I was failing to recognize. So I started over, with my priorities.

For example, my priorities for myself are to pray more, to do yoga more, to knit more, and to write more. These are the areas in which I believe God has really given me particular gifts which he wants me to nurture and to grow in, for the sake of my ministry and my walk with Him.
My priorities for the kids are to homeschool, to get exercise, to get at least an hour's nap, and to play well and learn the Gospel.
My priorities for Peter are to eat well, feel loved, and to be given the time and encouragement he needs to succeed in school.

So I did little things, like put the family altar front and center in the living room, so that we cannot walk around without being reminded of God's presence in our lives and making Him a part of our day.
Then I took all the books off the living room book shelf and instead filled it with yoga mats and props, to encourage me to stop and do yoga throughout the day. Which has been amazing, and a big change from having to haul them out from the bedroom closet!
Making adjustments like that has helped me to put what's most important first.

To add to the changes I was making, I got rid of my "daily schedule." There was sooo much stress on me each day to stop whatever I was doing at the time and shift gears just because the clock said to.
I worked hard to make great schedules and then found that I could not keep them no matter what, because invariably one of the kids would be in a bad mood, or too tired, or my husband would change his mind and come home for lunch, or things like that. My house is FAR too volatile to keep a perfect schedule 100% of the time. So instead of pressuring myself to stay "on schedule," I've learned to just make a to-do list. I keep it in my calendar and as the day goes by I work at knocking things off it. Whatever doesn't get done that day gets moved to the next day, but the important stuff always comes first. And i find that in doing that, I have the freedom and flexibility to stop and discipline the kids when they need it or take a break and sit on the floor for a while with them when they need that and I'm not constrained by a clock which ticks.
This doesn't mean I've slacked off in any way-- my days are actually FAR more productive. But it does mean that I've stopped trying to fit in someone else's shoes, taken a long hard look at my TRUE self and my family's TRUE spirit, and tried to figure out ways and systems to cope with life in our crazy, busy household.
And it works!

I feel far more grounded as a housewife than I ever have been-- I'm finally starting to feel confident in my mothering and in my housekeeping. And less stress on me makes my husband a happier man, because I am able to accept us all for who we are and what we feel God has called US to become rather than feeling constant disappointment that I don't live up to the picture perfect image which I see around me of what a "Good Christian wife and mom" should look like. It's liberating!

Of course, this pregnancy, as usual, has me up and down with mood swings and just feeling so run down, so I am having to be patient with myself and learn to adapt even more to my body's need for rest these days.
I really don't DO pregnancy very well, it's always a fiasco and I am miserable most of the way through it, so I'm looking forward to baby 3 being here and things moving along nicely.

That's about it for now! Hope it was somewhat helpful.